medicine at a price-Brilliant Southwestern MS dumps loving TCOM fiance

[emmaizzy]

Beware of these insanely smart doctor types who are driven to the top, because that's all that they are. if they aren't #1, they simply wouldn't exist... and love means jack to them.

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[Scooby Moo]

I'm sorry but your fiance is an insensitive oaf. Heaven forbid he interrupts his own Step 1 preparation with things like honest and open communication. It sounds like you played a big part in his ability to be academically successful, and I am sorry that you ended up making so many sacrifices for someone who ultimately had no desire/willingness to do the same for you (or at the very least, the decency to be straightforward and truthful.)

BTW, if this is how a brilliant future doctor handles his interpersonal relationships with someone he loves...I would hate to see how he fares when it comes to dealing with patients and coworkers with whom he has no emotional investment.

 

[Febrifuge]

Good riddance. This jackass would have made a horrid husband to you in some way or other, and it's far better that you know it now. Sorry to be blunt, but your post struck a chord with me.

I too have felt the sting of the driven, studious individual who has trouble zeroing in on their own opinions, feelings, and plans -- and doesn't let you in on the fact you've been rejected until after the decision is made. It's not just the guys; it's an occupational hazard when dealing with extremely intelligent, goal-oriented people. But at least mine was somewhat honest about it. In your case it was handled in a way that was especially unfair and, truly, lame. And the trick, of course, is not to perpetuate the cycle. It sounds like you're going to be fine. Concentrate on your studies and landing the best possible residency for you, since this is your life and your career and you just lost 160 unnecessary pounds, right?

Eventually you will go on to demonstrate that you can be successful, accomplished, focused, and still able to make sound decisions with more than self-interest at the top level. He's probably honest about it being a pragmatic thing, in his own mind -- but he's fooling himself if he thinks it's not also extraordinarily selfish. The person you eventually do marry will benefit from how much you know about what not to do. He'll appreciate it more than you know.

Let this one go; let him make his own mess; and most importantly, let him wonder. He can't take away what you've already accomplished, and will accomplish in the future. Maybe someday he'll grow up enough to honestly regret these actions. Meanwhile, if that's what it takes to be at the "top," here's to the solid middle third. Cheers!

 

[emmaizzy]

Good riddance. This jackass would have made a horrid husband to you in some way or other, and it's far better that you know it now. Sorry to be blunt, but your post struck a chord with me.

I too have felt the sting of the driven, studious individual who has trouble zeroing in on their own opinions, feelings, and plans -- and doesn't let you in on the fact you've been rejected until after the decision is made. It's not just the guys; it's an occupational hazard when dealing with extremely intelligent, goal-oriented people. But at least mine was somewhat honest about it. In your case it was handled in a way that was especially unfair and, truly, lame. And the trick, of course, is not to perpetuate the cycle. It sounds like you're going to be fine. Concentrate on your studies and landing the best possible residency for you, since this is your life and your career and you just lost 160 unnecessary pounds, right?

Eventually you will go on to demonstrate that you can be successful, accomplished, focused, and still able to make sound decisions with more than self-interest at the top level. He's probably honest about it being a pragmatic thing, in his own mind -- but he's fooling himself if he thinks it's not also extraordinarily selfish. The person you eventually do marry will benefit from how much you know about what not to do. He'll appreciate it more than you know.

Let this one go; let him make his own mess; and most importantly, let him wonder. He can't take away what you've already accomplished, and will accomplish in the future. Maybe someday he'll grow up enough to honestly regret these actions. Meanwhile, if that's what it takes to be at the "top," here's to the solid middle third. Cheers!

Okay, so here's the thanks. this is the nicest input i've gotten so far. it is kind of you to bother...

This boy is an idiot, no doubt.

I'm still struggling with all of this, no doubt. But I am just auditioning for my residency, because I do want to pursue my career. Thanks for trying to put a stanger's **** in prespective. I am appreciative.

Who are you?

 

[Fermata]

Wow. What an inconsiderate ***hole.

I'm sorry this has happened to you.

 

[Febrifuge]

Okay, so here's the thanks. this is the nicest input i've gotten so far. it is kind of you to bother...

No worries. As I said, your post struck a chord. I came out of my situation better for it, and so did my ex, or at least I like to think so. I know a lot more about how unfair it is to hitch one's wagon to somebody else's star, and she knows more about making promises as a way of expressing good intentions and high hopes. Anyway. You'll come out of it better, too. Sounds like that's starting already.

I'm still struggling with all of this, no doubt. But I am just auditioning for my residency, because I do want to pursue my career. Thanks for trying to put a stranger's **** in prespective. I am appreciative.

No need. Just get out there and have some great interviews.

Who are you?

No one of consequence. Just another old pre-med.

 

[mshheaddoc]

This is a horrible story! I am so sorry that this happened to you! I hope you are recouperating well and you are better off without him.

Thankfully I only dated a med-student and things didn't get that far. I was hurt, fine in the end. Some of them are completely driven and have blinders on. I kept telling him that sometimes in life you can't think, you need to act. He wasn't good at that ... head over heart for some! His loss, not mine! I don't want nor need someone like that!

Hope you are doing well!

 

[taylor92107]

At least you found out he is an a**hole before you married him. Better than having to divorce the loser 5 years from now. Keep your head up, you'll find someone better!