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Mentioning you have a long-term gf. at a school that you are applying to

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by bozz, Jun 19, 2008.

  1. bozz

    bozz 2+ Year Member

    Nov 15, 2007
    (She's an Undergrad there and plans to get her Masters there as well)

    Anyone have experience with this issue or a similar one?
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  3. Adnama

    Adnama 2+ Year Member

    Jun 11, 2008
    I have the same issue and I have been going back and forth on this. Part of me feels like it is almost unprofessional sounding yet I know that I am going to spend my life with him... does it sound better to say 'significant other?'
  4. kami333

    kami333 10+ Year Member

    Aug 15, 2007
    It's not going to help, even being married doesn't help.
  5. bozz

    bozz 2+ Year Member

    Nov 15, 2007
    well I've heard for sure that being married helps b/c it shows a genuine commitment to attend the school

    just not sure about the bf/gf part (been with her since high school + go to diff. undergrads)
  6. pandulce321

    pandulce321 Member 5+ Year Member

    Jan 11, 2006
    This statement is a bit of a double-edged sword. I was considered due to my fiancee being an active member of a medical school, but that didn't translate to an automatic acceptance. I think it is worthwhile to mention, but don't heavily emphasize it.
  7. leafy176


    May 16, 2008
    Hi guys,

    I just finished going through the current cycle and was in a very similar position. My girlfriend wasn't already at another institution; in fact, we were both applying from the same university, but we did apply to many of the same programs and cities. My belief is that medical schools do care about your personal reasons for applying there, including long-term relationships. To that end, when relevant, I mentioned that being close to my girlfriend was an important reason I was considering that school. I usually limited that kind of information to a brief mentioning in secondary applications, expounding on it later in letters of interest. But I think medical schools are pretty good about considering your application as a whole.

    I can say that for my girlfriend, who is pursuing a Ph.D., it wasn't in her best interest to mention the relationship. At least that's what we were told by the profs advising us. Depending on the Ph.D. or M.S. program your g/f might be going in, the need to be more traditionally "masculine" (i.e., not tied down by relationships and instead fully engaged in research) might be tacitly demanded. It's not fair and shouldn't be the case, but it's something I learned along the way that I thought I'd pass along. It really does depend on the field though and whether it has been or remains a 'male-dominated' field.

    Thankfully, I've found medical schools to be quite receptive. As Adnama suggested, I think 'significant other' is the way to go when referring to a b/f or g/f. It certainly conveys a certain depth to the relationship that isn't conveyed by the term girlfriend or boyfriend. I personally find the term to be somewhat vague, so when asked about it during interviews, I just referred to her as my girlfriend, since my perception about the interview, is that it's better to relax and be human than formal and aloof. I think the key is just to be mature about it. Tell them that it's an important consideration for you, but always make sure to put it within the proper context. By that I mean mention the curriculum, research opportunities, global health programs etc.--whatever it is that you like about the school--and then mention the relationship as an important factor and big bonus for you if they accept you.

    I hope this helps some!
  8. SarsMO

    SarsMO 2+ Year Member

    May 28, 2008
    I went back and forth on that one, too. I decided to mention it briefly in a LOI when I was waitlisted...I ended up getting in, but my advisor told me after I sent it in that I shouldn't have included it. So who knows...In my LOI I phrased it as "I have been in a committed relationship for the past 4.5 years" thus avoiding the terminology of what to call him all together.
  9. bcat85

    bcat85 10+ Year Member

    Nov 5, 2007
    You could mention it, but I think it will probably not make a HUGE difference.
  10. JeepMD

    JeepMD 2+ Year Member

    May 2, 2008
    I would not mention the b/f or g/f in the interview. Matter of factly, I was explicitly told this by the Assistant Dean for Admissions at a local medical school when I recently met with him. He was asking me about myself and when I told him that the issue of my g/f came up in the interview, he said that he would definitely not mention that in any interviews for the upcoming cycle. This all after I told him that we'd been dating for nearly 6 years and went to undergrad schools 300 miles away.
  11. HolyGrail

    HolyGrail A magnum opus suscipio 2+ Year Member

    Jun 1, 2008
    At the Right Hand
    What about a fiance?
  12. galaxie

    galaxie "visualize success" 2+ Year Member

    May 24, 2008
    I think this is more mentionable than a bf/gf as you've already committed to getting married and spending your lives together. I think it would definitely be looked at more seriously.
  13. ejay286

    ejay286 Member 10+ Year Member

    Jul 10, 2005
    I think it would be more of a factor of he or she were actually in the med school. Just being an undergrad or grad student there won't matter much.
  14. FightOn

    FightOn 5+ Year Member

    Aug 24, 2006
    Bay Area
    When my husband (then fiance) and I were applying for medical school together, I recieved an interview at one of the schools first and I did mention to the interviewers that my fiance was applying to the same school. One of the doctors that was interviewing me told me to give him my fiance's name (he actually made me spell out his full name and wrote it down onto his notes) and then proceeded to tell me to speak with the director of admissions right away so they could get him in for an interview asap. In my case, the school was very receptive to the idea of keeping a husband and wife together at the same school. We both ended up getting into that school. Best of luck to you!

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