i also was interested in family friendly programs (As I sit here typing this, my 10 month old baby girl is crawling over me). I will tell you that Michigan has a family friendly program. We cap at 8 patients (NOBODY else does this - the national standard according to the ACGME is 12; some programs will cap at 10, but nowhere else I interviewed at caps at 8 patients.
In addition, we have resident assistants whose job is to essentially do our busywork (organizing follow-up appt's, obtaining outside records, setting up procedures) so we can focus on calling consults and writing our notes.
Finally, the senior residents and faculty will force you out the door if you are closing in on 80 hrs or 30 hrs on call.
It has been nice to have these safety nets in place to keep from getting overworked.