Mom before dental school, is it possible?

[CalledtobeMe]

I have wanted to be a denstist since I was 8, and now I’m 25 and feel further away from my dream now than when I first discovered my passion. Background- I graduated undergrad in 2015 with a bachelors in biology GPA was like a 3.5-3.8 something like that. I took the DAT twice and got a 16 both times so I became discouraged and feared taking the test again. I’m smart but when it comes to those types of test I just don’t do well. I worked in a prostate cancer lab for two years, met my husband had a baby, and now having another baby and all I can think about is pursuing my dream again.

The first challenge will be passing the DAT with a 21 or higher. But what I’m really worried about is can I even balance a family and dental school? We don’t really have family near us so it’ll just be me and my husband with a toddler and an infant. I don’t want to send my kids to someone else so they can raise them while I pursue my career. My husband works and loves what he does but he is willing to sacrifice so that I can go to school. I’m not sure if he knows the depth of dental school, I’m not even sure I know how difficult it will be. Does anyone know if this is possible. I keep searching for answers but I need people (moms) who have and are going through this to help me. Is this doable? I really just need encouragement so that I can know it’s possible.

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[macsak]

I have wanted to be a denstist since I was 8, and now I’m 25 and feel further away from my dream now than when I first discovered my passion. Background- I graduated undergrad in 2015 with a bachelors in biology GPA was like a 3.5-3.8 something like that. I took the DAT twice and got a 16 both times so I became discouraged and feared taking the test again. I’m smart but when it comes to those types of test I just don’t do well. I worked in a prostate cancer lab for two years, met my husband had a baby, and now having another baby and all I can think about is pursuing my dream again.

The first challenge will be passing the DAT with a 21 or higher. But what I’m really worried about is can I even balance a family and dental school? We don’t really have family near us so it’ll just be me and my husband with a toddler and an infant. I don’t want to send my kids to someone else so they can raise them while I pursue my career. My husband works and loves what he does but he is willing to sacrifice so that I can go to school. I’m not sure if he knows the depth of dental school, I’m not even sure I know how difficult it will be. Does anyone know if this is possible. I keep searching for answers but I need people (moms) who have and are going through this to help me. Is this doable? I really just need encouragement so that I can know it’s possible.

do you live near a dental school?
I would recommend calling or visiting and see if you can contact some students who are moms

 

[ysrebob]

Definitely do-able, though will entail some deep sacrifices on the part of you and your family. A classmate of mine in dental school was a single mom, and she made it work. Happily a DDS now.

Would recommend starting out by testing your resolve, by aiming to blow the DAT out of the water. Long term, the cost of going back to school (plus maybe paying for a lot of childcare) will be a BIG part of the burden of reaching your goal - a great DAT score could help open doors to a cheaper public school vs private, which would help.

I also would not completely rule out moving close to extended family during your school years, but you *can* do it without them.

 

[queenki]

I have seen people doing it.
Also, I have met a person who did PhD/DDS dual degree to start, send first 3 years doing PhD part, and then 4 years of DDs part later. During the first 3 years of PhD part, she had baby and raised and then started DDS when the baby is bit older. PhD part is little more flexible in time wise so...Since you have 2 years of research lab experience, I was wondering if that route might interests you.

I have no family around, and it's only me and my husband, so I feel your pain. It is hard.
I wish I could have done my dental school before kids, but you can't take time back.
I would say, do the DAT and think.

I took DAT while I was full time working, raising 2 little kids too.

It is doable.! I am rooting for you!

 

[CalledtobeMe]

I have seen people doing it.
Also, I have met a person who did PhD/DDS dual degree to start, send first 3 years doing PhD part, and then 4 years of DDs part later. During the first 3 years of PhD part, she had baby and raised and then started DDS when the baby is bit older. PhD part is little more flexible in time wise so...Since you have 2 years of research lab experience, I was wondering if that route might interests you.

I have no family around, and it's only me and my husband, so I feel your pain. It is hard.
I wish I could have done my dental school before kids, but you can't take time back.
I would say, do the DAT and think.

I took DAT while I was full time working, raising 2 little kids too.

It is doable.! I am rooting for you!

Thank you so much for your response! Are you currently in dental school now? I never really thought about getting PhD, I feel like I just want to work on going straight to dental school because I’ve already let so much time go past. What things did you do to prepare for the DAT?

 

[CalledtobeMe]

Definitely do-able, though will entail some deep sacrifices on the part of you and your family. A classmate of mine in dental school was a single mom, and she made it work. Happily a DDS now.

Would recommend starting out by testing your resolve, by aiming to blow the DAT out of the water. Long term, the cost of going back to school (plus maybe paying for a lot of childcare) will be a BIG part of the burden of reaching your goal - a great DAT score could help open doors to a cheaper public school vs private, which would help.

I also would not completely rule out moving close to extended family during your school years, but you *can* do it without them.

Thank you so much for your response! DAT is my worst nightmare but I know once I do get into dental school I will have the motivation of my family to push me to work hard!

 

[queenki]

Thank you so much for your response! Are you currently in dental school now? I never really thought about getting PhD, I feel like I just want to work on going straight to dental school because I’ve already let so much time go past. What things did you do to prepare for the DAT?

No, I am a first time applicant this cycle. I am hopeful
I also have spent past 5 years waiting for my green card, so I feel your pain too.
But hey, infants are better to deal with. they are simple. hungry, sleepy, bored. that's it.
When they grow older, it gets a lot more complicated....;(
I miss my infant days....

Now they are 6 and 3. It is whole a lot harder!!!!! Sibling fights, and the famous "3year old tantrum" kills me.
I prefer to have 1 and 4 or 2 and 5. 3 is bad...; (

DAT isn't too bad once you focus really hard!!!! good luck! you got this!

 

[CalledtobeMe]

No, I am a first time applicant this cycle. I am hopeful
I also have spent past 5 years waiting for my green card, so I feel your pain too.
But hey, infants are better to deal with. they are simple. hungry, sleepy, bored. that's it.
When they grow older, it gets a lot more complicated....;(
I miss my infant days....

Now they are 6 and 3. It is whole a lot harder!!!!! Sibling fights, and the famous "3year old tantrum" kills me.
I prefer to have 1 and 4 or 2 and 5. 3 is bad...; (

DAT isn't too bad once you focus really hard!!!! good luck! you got this!

Congratulations on getting your green card! I know they make it so hard smh. And congratulations for being a great mom, wife and going after your dream! I am praying for you and your family as you embark these next 4+ years. I hope to follow your drive to keep pushing no matter what!

 

[Faefly]

You can do anything you put your mind to. However, you do need either a good nanny, good daycare or a supportive partner or a family member who is willing to help.

Also, you can apply after 3 to 5 years once your kids become older and less needy.

 

[yasc]

I have wanted to be a denstist since I was 8, and now I’m 25 and feel further away from my dream now than when I first discovered my passion. Background- I graduated undergrad in 2015 with a bachelors in biology GPA was like a 3.5-3.8 something like that. I took the DAT twice and got a 16 both times so I became discouraged and feared taking the test again. I’m smart but when it comes to those types of test I just don’t do well. I worked in a prostate cancer lab for two years, met my husband had a baby, and now having another baby and all I can think about is pursuing my dream again.

The first challenge will be passing the DAT with a 21 or higher. But what I’m really worried about is can I even balance a family and dental school? We don’t really have family near us so it’ll just be me and my husband with a toddler and an infant. I don’t want to send my kids to someone else so they can raise them while I pursue my career. My husband works and loves what he does but he is willing to sacrifice so that I can go to school. I’m not sure if he knows the depth of dental school, I’m not even sure I know how difficult it will be. Does anyone know if this is possible. I keep searching for answers but I need people (moms) who have and are going through this to help me. Is this doable? I really just need encouragement so that I can know it’s possible.

I actually spoke to a few people who had families and children during my interviews and they all said it was definitely a struggle especially at first but they adapted to it. Having a helpful spouse at home is absolutely godsend and I would speak to your husband about maybe taking on most of the duties for at least the first couple of years or until you get adjusted to dental school alternatively you could wait until your children are a little older but that might not be ideal.
Also I got a 17TS on my DAT the first time and was able to raise it to a 22 my second time so it's definitely possible for you to get better scores.

 

[charlestweed]

Is your husband’s income high enough for you two to afford a live-in nanny? We were in a much better situation because my wife and I were already dentists when we had our 2 children. We both worked 6 days/week so we could pay off our $450k student loan faster. In order to do that, we had to hire a live-in nanny to take care of our newborn son and 2 yo daughter. Like you, we were concerned about letting someone else raising our kids. But it wasn’t too bad because the kids didn’t remember much when they were little (we took them to Hawaii several times before they were 5-6 years old and they didn’t remember anything). My wife started to slow down (she now works 2-3 days/week from 8-12noon), when my youngest one entered first grade. Now both of our kids are in high school and they are both very attached to us. We still have a nanny, who does most of the house keeping work for us, so my wife can have time to drive the kids to schools, tennis games, piano lessons, church choir practices etc.

Keep in mind that after you become a dentist, you will be just as busy as when you are in dental school. Don’t expect that you’ll have more time for your kids. You will have to work full time (5-6 days/week) for many more years….and make at least $150k/year in order to pay off the $300-400k student loan that you will owe for dental school. I think hou need to talk to your husband and have a clear plan on how to pay back the debts.