Mommy in Med school or bad idea???????

[shikki79]

Hi Guys,
I'm actually trying to get into medical school right now. I'm 22 but my boyfriend is ten years my senior!!! We are fine with our relationship but I appreciate his need to want to start a family while he's still young enough to relate to them/play with them etc. With this in mind four years of medical school + residency is a lot to ask him to wait for.
This will mean that I'll be starting a family in medical school.
I'm looking for realistic advice from spouses ( husbands whose wives have gotten pregnant while she was in medical school) or ladies in medical school and starting a family. Hec any advice from anybody is welcome because I'm confused!!!!!!!!

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[jaiart]

If you cancel med school, will you regret it down the road? Will you grow to not like your future husband because of it? He's 32, not exactly old. A lot of boomer's waited until their late 30's early 40's due to financial concerns. So it's not unprecedented! I advise you to think long and hard before you make your decision because it is you and only you who has to live with your choice.

If he truly loves you he will want the decision to be right for "both" of you. Not because of his biological clock.

 

[csgirl]

I know of many women who have had babies in their residencies. That seems to be the best time.

 

[Starflyr]

two things come to mind here...

1. you say he is your boyfriend (as opposed to fiance or spouse). I would suggest that you get some legal committment out of him before you start popping out kiddos (i.e. marriage).

2. Med school is tough. Residency is tougher. From what Ive heard, either do it before 3rd year, or after PGY-1. This is mostly b/c 3rd year and PGY-1 are the hardest (Ive heard) timewise. One girl in my class is pregnant now, and is having a hard time, though she is passing everything. (We're MS1s).

So...assuming you get into medical school and start in the fall, if you wait until PGY-2 to have a child, your boyfriend will be 37. That's plenty young enough to be able to play with them and stuff. Life doesnt end after 40. Concentrate on 2 things now - medical school and getting a legal obligation - b/c the LAST thing you want is to be left on your own in medical school with a newborn (Im not suggesting that your b/f would do this, but always CYA, hey?) Good luck!

Star

 

[MBK2003]

I am a mother of an 18 month old and a 3rd yr med student. There are a number of women in my medical school who have babies during MS3 and MS4 years (like 7-14 each year). From my experience and those of my friends, the key is having a spouse who has a flexible schedule and is totally committed to being the single parent at some points of the year (namely Surgery, Medicine, and Ob-Gyn rotations). My husband drops off and picks up my son from daycare, along with taking the sick days when he's ill. My husband does most of the shopping, cooking, and housework during my busiest rotations. There are a couple of single parents in my class, but they have major support from their families in terms of babysitting and dropping off/picking up from daycare when they have overnight call. The key is making a decision about having kids that both you and your SO are completely comfortable with and willing to make the sacrifices for.

 

[commymommy]

A great website for mothers in medicine is called MomMD and is found at www. mommd .com ...It was started by a pre-med (Sethina) who has two children and has developed into an incredible resource for all mom mds.....They have message boards and a very helpful email group....give them a try!

 

[shikki79]

Hey Guys,
Thanks for all the different viewpoints!!You've given me a lot to think about. More posts welcome.

 

[im4real]

Originally posted by MBK2003:
•I am a mother of an 18 month old and a 3rd yr med student. There are a number of women in my medical school who have babies during MS3 and MS4 years (like 7-14 each year). From my experience and those of my friends, the key is having a spouse who has a flexible schedule and is totally committed to being the single parent at some points of the year (namely Surgery, Medicine, and Ob-Gyn rotations). My husband drops off and picks up my son from daycare, along with taking the sick days when he's ill. My husband does most of the shopping, cooking, and housework during my busiest rotations. There are a couple of single parents in my class, but they have major support from their families in terms of babysitting and dropping off/picking up from daycare when they have overnight call. The key is making a decision about having kids that both you and your SO are completely comfortable with and willing to make the sacrifices for.•••

Well said, MBK2003!!! I totally agree with everything you have said. And it means a lot to me that you have experienced having a baby in medical school. First hand experience and great advice! Thanks for your perspective!