Moral/ethical dilemma questions

[burninate me]

Hello,

I know this question has been asked before, but I haven't found any good feedback about my situation. I am looking for advice on how to answer a secondary question about the biggest moral dilemma I have faced.

Let's just say my biggest moral dilemma in college was grounded in the (obviously) controversial topics in politics and/or religion. The most notable example was my big role in persuading a demonstration by pro-lifers and/or pro-choicers from moving away from an area that they obviously shouldn't have been in (i.e. a kiddie-oriented carnival) - even though I may have agreed with what their demonstrations displayed.

Suggestions? Is this topic appropriate, or should I think of another in the fear of adcom thinking along the lines of, "you're on the wrong side of the political spectrum" or "you should've been stronger and stood by your position".

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[dienekes88]

Hello,

I know this question has been asked before, but I haven't found any good feedback about my situation. I am looking for advice on how to answer a secondary question about the biggest moral dilemma I have faced.

Let's just say my biggest moral dilemma in college was grounded in the (obviously) controversial topics in politics and/or religion. The most notable example was my big role in persuading a demonstration by pro-lifers and/or pro-choicers from moving away from an area that they obviously shouldn't have been in (i.e. a kiddie-oriented carnival) - even though I may have agreed with what their demonstrations displayed.

Suggestions? Is this topic appropriate, or should I think of another in the fear of adcom thinking along the lines of, "you're on the wrong side of the political spectrum" or "you should've been stronger and stood by your position".

The way I see it, you shouldn't sacrifice your ideals for the AdComs. If you feel one way about a topic, don't change it because you think the AdComs will like you more. You'll sound insincere. As long as you provide a well written and intelligent discussion of the topic, you'll probably do fine. However, I am not a member of an admissions committee. This is just my experience in interviews. Most of my interviewers enjoyed my candid and honest approach to everything they asked... including my reasons for taking time off during and after college.

Make it a nuanced discussion. Think about your position. Think about the situation. Describe the thought process behind arriving at your decision.

 

[beachblonde]

The reality is, any true moral/ethical dilemma is kinda sticky to deal with, politics or religion aside. Have you had any instances where a friend asked you to lie, or you witnessed somebody doing something wrong, or you found yourself in a position to gain an unfair advantage? None of those situations are exactly comfortable.

I wouldn't stress too much over ADCOMs not "liking" your political preferences; they admit people from across the board. I think it's more important to stick to your convictions and have justifications for them, rather than being completely ambivalent in the hopes of not offending anyone.

As for your particular situation, OP, the issue at hand seems more like "do I ask them to move because it's the right thing to do?" versus "do I let them stay because I like their message?" Does the message they were promoting really make all that much of a difference? It hardly has to be the focus of your essay.

 

[LizzyM]

This sounds like a good topic. You don't have to say what the demonstrators were advocating... just state that there were demonstrators on the grounds (or near the grounds) where you were conducting a kiddie carnival (I have to presume you were a person responsible for the carnival or what right would you have to make them move). While you agreed with their message and would have liked to have supported them in getting the message across, it was the wrong time and place to communicate the message, your higher priority was the success of the children's event, and you had to ask the demonstrators to leave.

See, you don't have to tell us if the demonstrators had issues with abortion, guns, the death penalty, the war in Iraq, or animal rights. The issue is that you agreed with the demonstrators' political position, you agree with freedom of speech, but you had a responsibility to keep things light at this event for kids.

 

[burninate me]

Thanks guys, that's more than enough help than I need!

 

[8744]

Panda's 100 Percent Pure-D Real Moral and Ethical Dilemmas That You Will Actually Face (Number One in a Series):

It is getting close to the end of your shift. You are examining a depressed, sullen young adult with a minor medical complaint who, as an aside, blurts out that he has thought many times about killing himself. You know that if you formally acknowledge this you are sending yourself down a path that will require a him to be put on a seventy-two hour psychiatric hold, the paperwork for which is extremely onerous and which will probably keep you in the department well after your shift is formally over. Additionally, you may have to make a half hour's worth of calls to have his lackadasical, undisciplined, slacker ass placed into an appropriate facility for a psychiatric evaluation.

You know he is most likely full of **** and is just another ridiculous mother****er who just wants some attention but you also know that there is a microscopic chance that he may actually eventually give it a go. He will be your third "suicidal ideation" of the night, the other two being also less than impressive consisting of a frequent flier with five visits for the same in the last six-months and a silly little slip of a girl who took ten zolofts to get some attention from her mother.

You can smell the barn and want to go home in the worst way imaginable. His stated chief complaint is diarrhea or something self-limiting for which you can discharge him in ten minutes. Do you pretend you didn't hear him, make no mention of it and ask no further questions hoping he will shut up and not repeat himself making it impossible to ignore or do you shift gears, ask him to elaborate, and consign yourself to going home two hours after the end of your third twelve-hour shift in a row?

 

[8744]

In other words, should you let sleeping dogs lie? the corollary to which is, "Never ask a patient with a minor complaint if he has chest pain unless you are prepared to deal with the answer."

Everybody has chest pain. If you ask, many patients will get a faraway look and say, "You know, come to think of it, a couple month ago my chest did hurt."

 

[nVictus]

what would you do panda bear? to your own question

 

[Depakote]

So, will Dr. Panda tell us what he does in that situation or shall we read between the lines?

(edit: beat to the punch)

 

[pianola]

See, this is part of the problem with my moral/ethical dilemma.

One of them is an entirely sterile, yet (hopefully) probing inquiry into how to sever ties to a lifetime teacher, friend, mentor, guardian and yet continue my education.

The other is a somewhat less sterile inquiry into a very real and unpleasant problem -- I caught a very close friend (read: close friend) and collaborator stealing from my major department. Actual equipment (totaling $20,000) was stolen and he was very likely responsible. I literally did everything in my power to prevent this from happening -- talked to him, to the department, etc.


What kind of dilemma is "better"? I learned something from each but I would rather prefer not to sensationalize on an application where I might be asked a lot of questions about my friend (and what sorts of friends do I make, anyway?) On the other hand, I don't want someone to read the first essay and think "good grief, is that seriously the biggest dilemma you faced?"

 

[8744]

what would you do panda bear? to your own question

Work the stupid mother****er up for suicidal ideation, go home two hours late, and just suck it up.

 

[LizzyM]

See, this is part of the problem with my moral/ethical dilemma.

One of them is an entirely sterile, yet (hopefully) probing inquiry into how to sever ties to a lifetime teacher, friend, mentor, guardian and yet continue my education.

The other is a somewhat less sterile inquiry into a very real and unpleasant problem -- I caught a very close friend (read: close friend) and collaborator stealing from my major department. Actual equipment (totaling $20,000) was stolen and he was very likely responsible. I literally did everything in my power to prevent this from happening -- talked to him, to the department, etc.


What kind of dilemma is "better"? I learned something from each but I would rather prefer not to sensationalize on an application where I might be asked a lot of questions about my friend (and what sorts of friends do I make, anyway?) On the other hand, I don't want someone to read the first essay and think "good grief, is that seriously the biggest dilemma you faced?"

Ethical dilemmas are about having a conflict of interest. Panda's conflict is the desire to do the job right versus the desire to get out of work "on time" compounded by the fact that doing the job "right" is unlikely to change anyone's health status or have an otherwise positive impact on anything but it has to be done.

You have a conflict in the second example between a close frield who has betrayed your trust and your loyalty to your department. Is your loyalty to your friend who is doing something wrong or to your department which is the victim of the wrong-doing. It seems like a classic dilemma if you value your close relationship and are in denial about the betrayal.

I have a little harder time figuring the moral dilemma in the first example unless you expect your mentor to stab you in the back and derail your career if you leave.

 

[student1799]

I caught a very close friend (read: close friend) and collaborator stealing from my major department. Actual equipment (totaling $20,000) was stolen and he was very likely responsible. I literally did everything in my power to prevent this from happening -- talked to him, to the department, etc.

[...]I would rather prefer not to sensationalize on an application where I might be asked a lot of questions about my friend (and what sorts of friends do I make, anyway?)

IMO, story # 2 is WAY more interesting: for starters, it's real, which always makes stories more interesting; and (related to first point) it's a lot messier and more complicated than the cutting-ties-with-the-mentor deal. The whole nature of ethical dilemmas is that they're messy and uncomfortable--otherwise they wouldn't be dilemmas, would they?

Given the more vivid and real-life nature of the second story, I think you'll be able to write a much more interesting essay about it than the first scenario. The adcoms WANT to hear about how you struggled with your feelings of friendship vs. respect for the law and loyalty to your department, and they want to know how you resolved it in the end. It isn't necessary for everything to have turned out perfectly--they want to hear about the thought process and moral reasoning you used to determine your course of action. It also isn't necessary for you to recount all the details EXACTLY as they happened in real life; you can edit judiciously if you feel compelled to. Just don't edit so much that you suck all the life out of the story.

I'd bet that if you get questions about this in interviews (which I doubt you will--there's too many other things to talk about), they will focus on you and what you did, rather than the friend, why you knew this person, etc. (After all, we're not in control of what our friends do.) I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[pianola]

Well, I suppose #2 is more interesting. But it's also not easy to explain in 250 words (Pitt). I mean, I made every possible effort to talk to my friend; for crying out loud, I even returned things that the friend had stolen for a while.

I guess I feel a bit like a loser in the whole situation, too, because I tried so very hard to make it clear to the department that there was a REAL problem going on -- and no one ever paid real attention (until AFTER the equipment got stolen, of course )

And it's WAY messier than I've even let on, so if it did come up in an interview, I'd really have to filter pretty carefully.

----------------

Yeah, incidentally, I'm not really sure where the moral dilemma is in #1 either, actually. Not hurting someone else's feelings can be a moral dilemma, right? Especially when she's been a part of your life for so long...?

 

[LizzyM]

Another approach, particularly at interviews, would be to spin this away from a dilemma and toward your ability to see a problem and try to prevent damage from being done. It becomes difficult to know how hard to push for changes; if the powers that be don't listen, or listen but don't act, at some point you throw up your hands. That gets away from some of the really ugly stuff which I can imagine might have included the cops.

 

[pianola]

Another approach, particularly at interviews, would be to spin this away from a dilemma and toward your ability to see a problem and try to prevent damage from being done. It becomes difficult to know how hard to push for changes; if the powers that be don't listen, or listen but don't act, at some point you throw up your hands. That gets away from some of the really ugly stuff which I can imagine might have included the cops.

Thank you, LizzyM. It was a tough and rather sad situation. I probably won't share much more about it on SDN, but yes, it did involve police. As far as I know, the instruments were never found.

 

[Depakote]

Work the stupid mother****er up for suicidal ideation, go home two hours late, and just suck it up.

I never should have doubted you...

 

[Bacchus]

Panda's not stupid. The litigation would have consumed more time than the work up .

 

[Tally]

Does anyone have any advice for the moral essays? I'm trying to decide between which two to use:

1. I was originally told that I would receive benefits, paid sick days, etc. when starting my research job and then they said they didn't have enough grant money for that, so I continued to get paid hourly like a temporary employee without benefits. Over Christmas break, I was overpaid by a week, and I thought for a while that the HR lady was just being nice because she knew the situation, but I thought it wasn't right (even though they were dishonest with me at the beginning) and notified the lady that I was overpaid and the money was taken away.

2. At the end of high school, a good friend got addicted to meth and asked me not to tell anyone. I kept her promise (although I often considered telling her dad who she lived with--but he was kind of emotionally absent), and she is still using drugs today. I can talk about how I wish I would have told someone, or done a better job convincing her to get help.

Does anyone have any advice as to which essay would be better (if either are okay)? LizzyM?

 

[LizzyM]

Does anyone have any advice for the moral essays? I'm trying to decide between which two to use:

1. I was originally told that I would receive benefits, paid sick days, etc. when starting my research job and then they said they didn't have enough grant money for that, so I continued to get paid hourly like a temporary employee without benefits. Over Christmas break, I was overpaid by a week, and I thought for a while that the HR lady was just being nice because she knew the situation, but I thought it wasn't right (even though they were dishonest with me at the beginning) and notified the lady that I was overpaid and the money was taken away.

2. At the end of high school, a good friend got addicted to meth and asked me not to tell anyone. I kept her promise (although I often considered telling her dad who she lived with--but he was kind of emotionally absent), and she is still using drugs today. I can talk about how I wish I would have told someone, or done a better job convincing her to get help.

Does anyone have any advice as to which essay would be better (if either are okay)? LizzyM?

I'd go with the first one because it is more recent and shows a more mature response to a dilemma.

 

[Tally]

I'd go with the first one because it is more recent and shows a more mature response to a dilemma.

Okay, great. Thanks for your advice. I was leaning that way as well!

 

[yuiness]

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[Druzie]

ARRRRRRGH!!

I've submitted 17 apps w/ some lame dilemma about my friends,
and now my boyfriend just reminded me of a genuine one,
I feel so stupid!
What a waste of 17 apps and over a month of work!!!

Is there an emoticon for banging one's head on a desk?!

 

[teamday13]

Anyone have any good ideas about how to end the moral/ethical dilemma essays? I am also working on the Pitt essay, with allows only 250 words. I explained the situation leading up to the dilemma, my feelings, my decision, and the results of my decision. However, it feels like a cliff-hanger to just end it there, but it is hard to wrap up an essay like this in only 250 words. What do you say, "I feel that I made the right decision in the end" ???? Seems kinda lame. LizzyM, any help?

 

[Quix]

Anyone have any good ideas about how to end the moral/ethical dilemma essays? I am also working on the Pitt essay, with allows only 250 words. I explained the situation leading up to the dilemma, my feelings, my decision, and the results of my decision. However, it feels like a cliff-hanger to just end it there, but it is hard to wrap up an essay like this in only 250 words. What do you say, "I feel that I made the right decision in the end" ???? Seems kinda lame. LizzyM, any help?

"And I can tell you how it ended at the interview."

 

[pianola]

"And I can tell you how it ended at the interview."

Seriously, though, you could consider ending it with a viewpoint on the larger problem (cheating/stealing/dishonesty, etc.) What did you learn from it all?

 

[LizzyM]

"And I can tell you how it ended at the interview."

I love it! What a way to get an interview.... until everyone and his brother uses it.

 

[teamday13]

Haha. Hilarious. I did find a way to finish it off. Not quite so blunt as your suggestion, but hopefully it still gets me an interview!

P.S.Wouldn't this whole question/answer thing be easier if we just posted our essays? I mean it's only 250 words, which is basically a glorified paragraph.

 

[Acc1999]

Hello there,

love the posts! i had a questions as to whether my dilemma was any...good. (p.s. i swear i am not a troll... in case anyone was going to wonder about this. i made a new account because I feel like this issue is very personal and my old account revealed too much about myself)

when i was a child, i was an immigrant from China. As culture, my parents were taught that beating children was an acceptable practice, and i was the recipient of this practice in my early years. Every time it happened, i would wonder about whether or not i should go to the police, or some authority.

I knew that my parents loved me unquestionably and this was the only behavior in which i felt was immoral in some way. I debated calling the police (yes, as an 8-10 year old child) and ultimately decided to try to convince them that what they were doing was unacceptable. I eventually won out when I managed to point out several high profile public child violence cases and we have completely reconciled on this topic.

however, i wonder if adcoms woud think that this ethical dilemma has made me an aggressive raging alcoholic because i was beaten as a child (not the case). Thoughts?

 

[aznb0y129]

Hello there,

love the posts! i had a questions as to whether my dilemma was any...good. (p.s. i swear i am not a troll... in case anyone was going to wonder about this. i made a new account because I feel like this issue is very personal and my old account revealed too much about myself)

when i was a child, i was an immigrant from China. As culture, my parents were taught that beating children was an acceptable practice, and i was the recipient of this practice in my early years. Every time it happened, i would wonder about whether or not i should go to the police, or some authority.

I knew that my parents loved me unquestionably and this was the only behavior in which i felt was immoral in some way. I debated calling the police (yes, as an 8-10 year old child) and ultimately decided to try to convince them that what they were doing was unacceptable. I eventually won out when I managed to point out several high profile public child violence cases and we have completely reconciled on this topic.

however, i wonder if adcoms woud think that this ethical dilemma has made me an aggressive raging alcoholic because i was beaten as a child (not the case). Thoughts?

Speaking as another child of immigrant Asian parents who whooped my ass on a regular basis when I was younger, I don't know how much your "dilemma" would work since, as you say, you were only 8-10 years old. At that age, I debated over what toys I wanted for my birthday. My personal feeling is that it should slightly more recent, but that's just IMO.

 

[LizzyM]

Maligning your parents to advance your career is rather distasteful. I saw this done once (non-Asian family, btw) and it didn't make a good impression.

Try to think of a situation that arose after you reached adulthood. How you, as an adult, deal with difficult situations, is what the schools want to know.

 

[Acc1999]

Maligning your parents to advance your career is rather distasteful. I saw this done once (non-Asian family, btw) and it didn't make a good impression.

Try to think of a situation that arose after you reached adulthood. How you, as an adult, deal with difficult situations, is what the schools want to know.

LizzyM, I love your honesty! I defintely see your point but I feel like this case is a situation where I felt like my parents, who were good people, simply made a mistake , leading me to debate between having a family or physical protection (I would like to mention that they immediately stopped when I videotaped a newsreport of a similar situation and how it was ilegal...this is definitely the situation in which I believed shaped my moral judgement at an early age and in which I can speak most from the heart on ... Does framing it this way change your interpretations at all lizzyM? If not I can defintely speak of a few others : which do you think is best?

1) I found out that a college professor who I worked on a project was telling his boss that the work and ideas that I was producing was his work....I am hesitant to discuss this one because I feel like my actions (simply walking away from this situation) is not reflective of what I truely felt was correct (turning him in... If he so freely stole my work, what else has he done?) because I did not want to get knee deep in a flaming war that I would probably lose (phd's do matter...as I was advised). Is there a right way to frame this?

2) my best friend X slept with a woman Y who was dating and iis now engaged to a mutual friend of ours Z( Z did not know about this at the time , only x,y, and me ). I resolved this by talking with x (take responsibility to end this ) and y ( it would be best for you to be honest with Z rather than me...I convinced her to fessup and they reconciled... And now they are engaged ). Is this dilemma too.... Teen angsty? I would love your interpretation lizzyM!

Thank you!

 

[LizzyM]

LizzyM, I love your honesty! I defintely see your point but I feel like this case is a situation where I felt like my parents, who were good people, simply made a mistake ,

That was no mistake. They were doing what was culturally acceptable and what they thought was right. You discovered that it was illegal in America and scared them into stopping.

1) I found out that a college professor who I worked on a project was telling his boss that the work and ideas that I was producing was his work....I am hesitant to discuss this one because I feel like my actions (simply walking away from this situation) is not reflective of what I truely felt was correct (turning him in... If he so freely stole my work, what else has he done?) because I did not want to get knee deep in a flaming war that I would probably lose (phd's do matter...as I was advised). Is there a right way to frame this?

You'll need to answer a specific question on the secondary and if how you coped with this ethical issue is what you want to highlight to the adcom, then it is fine. You were being taken advantage of and when you discovered this fact you got our of the situation. It is not morally wrong to get out of a situation where you feel that you are being taken advantage of. Is it morally superior to be a whistle-blower and stop someone who did things that damaged your career even if the whistle-blowing itself may hurt you? There is even the possibility that you will further damage your career without stopping the one who is perpetrating the academic dishonesty. Difficult call.

2) my best friend X slept with a woman Y who was dating and iis now engaged to a mutual friend of ours Z( Z did not know about this at the time , only x,y, and me ). I resolved this by talking with x (take responsibility to end this ) and y ( it would be best for you to be honest with Z rather than me...I convinced her to fessup and they reconciled... And now they are engaged ). Is this dilemma too.... Teen angsty? I would love your interpretation lizzyM!

Thank you!

This reminded me of a nursery rhyme:
I saw Esau kissing Kate,
The fact is we all three saw,
For I saw him and he saw me
and she saw I saw Esau.

What's the point? What's the ethical dilemma? You had a loyalty to both men and you urged the one doing wrong (sleeping with another man's woman) to stop being a cad. You also urged the woman to be faithful to her man and to stop being a cheater. Are you the morality police? What other options did you have? Why is the option you chose the best choice given the circumstances? How did you decide upon this action? Is the fact that it ended "happily ever after" proof that you made the right choice?

You are either way too early or way to late to be writing responses to secondary questions. Those questions change from year to year and you should be responsive to the specific question. While you might want to reflect on difficult choices you've made in adulthood, I wouldn't settle on any one vignette just yet.

 

[ChemEngMD]

Hello there,

love the posts! i had a questions as to whether my dilemma was any...good. (p.s. i swear i am not a troll... in case anyone was going to wonder about this. i made a new account because I feel like this issue is very personal and my old account revealed too much about myself)

when i was a child, i was an immigrant from China. As culture, my parents were taught that beating children was an acceptable practice, and i was the recipient of this practice in my early years. Every time it happened, i would wonder about whether or not i should go to the police, or some authority.

I knew that my parents loved me unquestionably and this was the only behavior in which i felt was immoral in some way. I debated calling the police (yes, as an 8-10 year old child) and ultimately decided to try to convince them that what they were doing was unacceptable. I eventually won out when I managed to point out several high profile public child violence cases and we have completely reconciled on this topic.

however, i wonder if adcoms woud think that this ethical dilemma has made me an aggressive raging alcoholic because i was beaten as a child (not the case). Thoughts?

Hold up...I thought getting your a*s beat was apart of every normal childhood? Wait, I could have called the police? What about when my grandma would smack me with her sandal or the powerchord? Man, this is a revelation lol

 

[jinx520]

Hold up...I thought getting your a*s beat was apart of every normal childhood? Wait, I could have called the police? What about when my grandma would smack me with her sandal or the powerchord? Man, this is a revelation lol

What about shoe-throwing mothers ala Eddie Murphy?

But the worst is when you have to cut your own switch.

 

[Kaustikos]

I love it! What a way to get an interview.... until everyone and his brother uses it.

People actually write that?!