Moral injury as a nursing student- should I stay in my job?

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twinnumberone

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Hi everyone. Looking for some advice. I am a nursing student and EMT and have been working as a medical assistant in an internal medicine practice for a while. We are severely understaffed and I struggle with being told things by management like "It's okay if the phones are ringing and you don't answer/you don't have to answer your messages right away/its okay for patients or staff to yell at you when they're frustrated" (after I asked a coworker to quickly answer one of seven ringing lines as I dealt with two patients in front of me and 100+ messages). The whole vibe is very much like the patients are the problem and I am too for trying to help them in the way I feel is right. I feel like I have no capacity or ability to actually help anyone in my current role. Attempts to speak with manager basically ended in "just do your job like we tell you to do it, it's fine if patients are upset and curse at you because they're just spoiled and they don't understand how our practice runs" (or doesn't lol). Basically I feel like my morals are under attack every day and I can't treat patients the way I believe and feel they should be treated. I don't know what to do anymore- I like my job in general but the atmosphere is driving me crazy. I'm also nervous it won't get any better once I'm a nurse and I'll keep having to deal with this. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this feeling of moral injury and burnout?
 
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