Moving Out and Surviving

[MSMsong]

Hey all, unconventional question here. I’m 22, live in Orange County, just graduated college, have a job as a scribe and I’m making roughly $1500 a month.

I moved back home after college because my parents were down to have me again and I figured it would be a financially sound decision, considering medical school will be a huge payment for me.

I love my parents and appreciate everything they have done for me, but recently they’ve been arguing a lot and it’s really draining being forced to sit through it and try to provide solutions.

I just can’t handle it anymore and was wondering if anyone has ever moved out making $1500 a month and succeeded. I figure I’ll need to pick up some other stream of income since I’ll need to pay rent, eat, pay utilities, and buy other stuff you need to survive.

I am not going to lie, I have it very good right now; I just can’t stand my parents arguing all the time. It’s draining and it honestly makes me sad. Maybe it’s time for me to move out and be on my own. Am I being rational at all? I know this isn’t a therapy or life counseling site, but any advice helps! Thank you

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[HKSZYU]

I would stay with your parents if you can deal with it emotionally. I've lived in OC area, and housing is expensive. Living in a studio or 1 bedroom will run you at least $1500/month. Realistically, you'd have to find a roommate for a shared apartment, or rent a room in someone's home. Even that will cost $800-1000/month if you want something of decent quality. That means, at best, you'd have $500/month for food, car, car insurance, gas, incidentals, etc. You'd be using nearly all of your $1500/month salary just to afford basic living expenses.

So, while moving out is technically possible, particularly if you find a less expensive housing arrangement and a good roommate, it would still be challenging. I think the financial struggles you would face from moving out would cause your quality of life to go down.

 

[caterwaiter]

Hello! First off, I know it can be challenging moving back home into a sometimes uncomfortable environment, and I totally understand wanting to move. The good news is that it sounds like your situation is relatively stable for the moment, so you have time to consider your options.

$1500/month in Orange County isn't impossible if you're *really* good at budgeting. Housing is going to be the largest chunk of your income. Try to find a room in an apartment or roommates to share a place with. Consider the cost of your daily routine outside of your family home. Do you cook? How much would you need to spend on food? Would your commute to work change significantly? Do you have any fixed bills (loan payments, car insurance, etc)?

Like the user above pointed out, it's almost impossible to save money like this. If there's something you absolutely need to be saving for, you may want to try to tough it out. That said, I know how emotionally taxing it can be to live in your situation. If you can find a safe and reasonably priced place to live, and you trust your budgeting skills, I say go for it. I worked full-time during undergrad to afford basic living expenses + books and can say it gave me a ton of resilience, insight, and empathy. It's not easy, but can definitely be rewarding.

 

[EdgeTrimmer]

What are they arguing about?

 

[Rachapkis]

Moving out sounds like a difficult and financially draining step, especially if you plan on changing your living situation next fall. What about trying to live with them while isolating yourself from them as much as possible? During turbulent times, you can go for a long walks, work on a projects in the garage/backyard, etc. I would also try to detach emotionally and keep reminding yourself that you are not responsible for their interactions with each other.

 

[KnightDoc]

What are they arguing about?

Is this really our business????

More importantly, is it relevant to OP's question?? He's a recent college grad who wants to spread his wings and cannot afford to do so, so he's asking for our advice before heading off to med school. The answer is that he should suck it up if he can, because if he can't, his standard of living is going to drop and he's going to have to get another job on top of the scribe job, unless his parents are willing to give him money every month so they can argue without judgment from their child!

 

[EdgeTrimmer]

Is this really our business????

More importantly, is it relevant to OP's question?? He's a recent college grad who wants to spread his wings and cannot afford to do so, so he's asking for our advice before heading off the med school. The answer is that he should suck it up if he can, because if he can't, his standard of living is going to drop and he's going to have to get another job on top of the scribe job, unless his parents are willing to give him money every month so they can argue without judgment from their child!

Tough to give advice without knowing the details.

 

[KnightDoc]

Tough to give advice without knowing the details.

Of the arguments? Busybody!!!

 

[Goro]

Hey all, unconventional question here. I’m 22, live in Orange County, just graduated college, have a job as a scribe and I’m making roughly $1500 a month.

I moved back home after college because my parents were down to have me again and I figured it would be a financially sound decision, considering medical school will be a huge payment for me.

I love my parents and appreciate everything they have done for me, but recently they’ve been arguing a lot and it’s really draining being forced to sit through it and try to provide solutions.

I just can’t handle it anymore and was wondering if anyone has ever moved out making $1500 a month and succeeded. I figure I’ll need to pick up some other stream of income since I’ll need to pay rent, eat, pay utilities, and buy other stuff you need to survive.

I am not going to lie, I have it very good right now; I just can’t stand my parents arguing all the time. It’s draining and it honestly makes me sad. Maybe it’s time for me to move out and be on my own. Am I being rational at all? I know this isn’t a therapy or life counseling site, but any advice helps! Thank you

Toxic environments are never, ever good. It's time to go. But suggest to your parents get marital counseling, if you haven't done so already.

 

[gamache]

Each family is different so this might not be a path you can reasonably pursue - but do you think they are aware at all of the toll it is taking on you? Is there any way you could approach one or both of them asking for advice, saying you're worried about them but also can't handle the amount of arguing, and you don't know what to do?

 

[deleted480308]

Hey all, unconventional question here. I’m 22, live in Orange County, just graduated college, have a job as a scribe and I’m making roughly $1500 a month.

I moved back home after college because my parents were down to have me again and I figured it would be a financially sound decision, considering medical school will be a huge payment for me.

I love my parents and appreciate everything they have done for me, but recently they’ve been arguing a lot and it’s really draining being forced to sit through it and try to provide solutions.

I just can’t handle it anymore and was wondering if anyone has ever moved out making $1500 a month and succeeded. I figure I’ll need to pick up some other stream of income since I’ll need to pay rent, eat, pay utilities, and buy other stuff you need to survive.

I am not going to lie, I have it very good right now; I just can’t stand my parents arguing all the time. It’s draining and it honestly makes me sad. Maybe it’s time for me to move out and be on my own. Am I being rational at all? I know this isn’t a therapy or life counseling site, but any advice helps! Thank you

Stay elsewhere all day to study, come home only to sleep. You aren’t their therapist

 

[EdgeTrimmer]

Of the arguments? Busybody!!!

Didn't get you.

 

[MSMsong]

Hey all! Thanks for the constructive and insightful feedback. As a re-cap, I'd like to state again that I have it very good right now living at home, other than the fact that my parents arguing can sometimes sour the mood for extended periods of time. I appreciate everyone's advise and I've decided that the best thing for me to do right now is to tough it out for the time being. I'm just going to limit my time at home and occupy as much time as possible with work, volunteering, hobbies, etc. to the point I'm just doing the bare minimum at home. Hopefully this system will workout until it's time for me to go to medical school, but that's my plan as of now. I apologize for the untimely response and want to thank you all again for the advice! Good luck with life and stay productive!

 

[Bloobury]

Hey all, unconventional question here. I’m 22, live in Orange County, just graduated college, have a job as a scribe and I’m making roughly $1500 a month.

I moved back home after college because my parents were down to have me again and I figured it would be a financially sound decision, considering medical school will be a huge payment for me.

I love my parents and appreciate everything they have done for me, but recently they’ve been arguing a lot and it’s really draining being forced to sit through it and try to provide solutions.

I just can’t handle it anymore and was wondering if anyone has ever moved out making $1500 a month and succeeded. I figure I’ll need to pick up some other stream of income since I’ll need to pay rent, eat, pay utilities, and buy other stuff you need to survive.

I am not going to lie, I have it very good right now; I just can’t stand my parents arguing all the time. It’s draining and it honestly makes me sad. Maybe it’s time for me to move out and be on my own. Am I being rational at all? I know this isn’t a therapy or life counseling site, but any advice helps! Thank you

My first job out of college I made 30k the first year, which came out to under 2k/month after taxes. It was rough, but I didn't have a car payment or anything, and managed to rent a room in a house for cheap (like $500-600/month). If I'd had the option to live with my parents, I would have (but they were 1000+ miles away in the middle of nowhere, and were poor and couldn't help me financially either way). If you can tough it out a little longer - either by setting boundaries with your parents or spending more time out of the house (tough with COVID, I know), that may help you build up a little savings. Can your parents help you financially if for some reason your income is reduced or lost?

What's the average cost of rent there? Are you willing to have roommates (also tough during covid)? If you set a good budget, it can be done, but it may not be worth the sacrifices.

Here's a monthly budget sample (based off roughly what I was spending back when I was super poor). There is almost no room for error and I didn't have a car for half of it. But if you have a safety net(I didn't), it would be a lot easier.

Rent + utils	650
Groceries	175 (very hard to keep this below 200 in my experience)
Phone	35
Household/personal care (TP, toothpaste, shampoo, razors, sunscreen, etc)	10
Transportation	10 (bus/bike - I didn't have a car for half that time, and when I did get a car, it was a $3000 car and I budgeted $50/month for gas and maintenance and $50/month for insurance)
Dining out (restaurants, coffee shops, fast food, etc)	20
Alcohol	10
Entertainment (spotify, netflix, hulu, going to the movies, amazon prime, etc)	10 (I had a student Amazon Prime subscription, but no other entertainment)
Health (dr's appts, rx, dentist, vision, etc)	20 (budgeted out anticipated expenses over a year - basically 1 doctor's visit, 1 dental cleaning, and little extra if I had a cavity or something)
Clothing	40 (~$500/year - basically enough to buy a new jacket every few years, a few professional clothing items, etc. Almost everything I bought was from thrift stores aside from socks, shoes, and undergarments.)
Hobbies	20
Misc	20
Emergency Savings	100
TOTAL	$1120 (if I didn't make any math errors)

 

[Bloobury]

Also, I spent time every single month tracking my expenses and comparing where I was to my budget, so I could compensate the following month if I went over in a category. You'll notice I left "gifts" off that budget. In actually I spent about $300 that year on gifts and charity and had it in my budget. On $1500/month you'll have to prioritize what you spend. It'll probably be easier to avoid restaurants and bars thanks to COVID, but it's likely you'll have to pay for a vehicle (gas, maintenance, insurance, etc) so that will easily take up a chunk of your budget.

 

[LunaOri]

As an alternative, you could consider working a different shift, so that you are out of the house during the times when your parents are most likely to argue. If they work during the day, evening shift might be ideal...and leave you free during the day to study.

 

[Hzreio]

My first job out of college I made 30k the first year, which came out to under 2k/month after taxes. It was rough, but I didn't have a car payment or anything, and managed to rent a room in a house for cheap (like $500-600/month). If I'd had the option to live with my parents, I would have (but they were 1000+ miles away in the middle of nowhere, and were poor and couldn't help me financially either way). If you can tough it out a little longer - either by setting boundaries with your parents or spending more time out of the house (tough with COVID, I know), that may help you build up a little savings. Can your parents help you financially if for some reason your income is reduced or lost?

What's the average cost of rent there? Are you willing to have roommates (also tough during covid)? If you set a good budget, it can be done, but it may not be worth the sacrifices.

Here's a monthly budget sample (based off roughly what I was spending back when I was super poor). There is almost no room for error and I didn't have a car for half of it. But if you have a safety net(I didn't), it would be a lot easier.

Rent + utils	650
Groceries	175 (very hard to keep this below 200 in my experience)
Phone	35
Household/personal care (TP, toothpaste, shampoo, razors, sunscreen, etc)	10
Transportation	10 (bus/bike - I didn't have a car for half that time, and when I did get a car, it was a $3000 car and I budgeted $50/month for gas and maintenance and $50/month for insurance)
Dining out (restaurants, coffee shops, fast food, etc)	20
Alcohol	10
Entertainment (spotify, netflix, hulu, going to the movies, amazon prime, etc)	10 (I had a student Amazon Prime subscription, but no other entertainment)
Health (dr's appts, rx, dentist, vision, etc)	20 (budgeted out anticipated expenses over a year - basically 1 doctor's visit, 1 dental cleaning, and little extra if I had a cavity or something)
Clothing	40 (~$500/year - basically enough to buy a new jacket every few years, a few professional clothing items, etc. Almost everything I bought was from thrift stores aside from socks, shoes, and undergarments.)
Hobbies (running shoes, races, etc)	20
Misc	20
Emergency Savings	100
TOTAL	$1120 (if I didn't make any math errors)

$650 rent in orange county... lol

 

[KnightDoc]

$650 rent in orange county... lol

Remember, that's for a single room in someone's house, not a 1 bedroom apartment!!

 

[Bloobury]

$650 rent in orange county... lol

Yeah this was for a basement room in a house owned by a family with a toddler. So it wasn't exactly living large.

And I didn't have a car. So really that sample budget isn't going to work for most people. Just showing how it can be possible with some serious budgeting and sacrifice.

 

[DNAJB6]

Stay elsewhere all day to study, come home only to sleep. You aren’t their therapist

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