My advice: Have a sense of humor

[MiesVanDerMom]

Hello all. I am a non-traditional pre-med. I have a one year old son with a couple rare genetic disorders and I spend A LOT of time taking him to A LOT of doctors. We've seen the whole spectrum at this point from incompetent to fantastic but the one thing ALL of them seem to lack is a sense of humor. I don't know about other parents, but my husband and I couldn't get through the day if we didn't find ways to laugh about our son's problems. I wish doctors could loosen up a little. I will give you a stupid little example:

last week I had my son at the developmental pediatrician and she asked if he'd had his hearing checked. I meant to tell her that the genetic physician checked it with a tuning fork at each visit, but i accidentally said he checked it with a pitch fork. So, I laughed and said, oh no, I mean tuning fork and i pretended to impale my son with a pitch fork sort of you know. It was a stupid little funny guffaw of a moment. Could this woman crack a smile or join in on the dumb joke? No, of course not. I gotta tell you, taking your son to the developmental pediatrician is really freaking stressful and I needed a little laugh. If she'd laughed to, I wouldn't have felt so worried.

another example. my son was diagnosed with his first genetic disroder shortly after birth and then his second a bit later on. When the metabollic nurse practitioner called me with the bad news she said, "we have very few galactosemic children with a second disroder. it's really rare." And to keep from crying, I laughed and said, "well, Mies is a special guy." No response. I could have stood a little empathy at this point, or a joke or something.

Maybe it's med school that sucks it out of a person, I don't know. But I make a plea that the next generation of doctors be a little more human and a little less Data from Star Trek. Yes, I want my son's doctors to be intelligent and dedicated above all else, but is it too much to ask for that and a little humanity? I wish med schools would make med students take an improv class or something. Throw pies at them in the middle of class maybe.

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[anystream]

Hello all. I am a non-traditional pre-med. I have a one year old son with a couple rare genetic disorders and I spend A LOT of time taking him to A LOT of doctors. We've seen the whole spectrum at this point from incompetent to fantastic but the one thing ALL of them seem to lack is a sense of humor. I don't know about other parents, but my husband and I couldn't get through the day if we didn't find ways to laugh about our son's problems. I wish doctors could loosen up a little. I will give you a stupid little example:

last week I had my son at the developmental pediatrician and she asked if he'd had his hearing checked. I meant to tell her that the genetic physician checked it with a tuning fork at each visit, but i accidentally said he checked it with a pitch fork. So, I laughed and said, oh no, I mean tuning fork and i pretended to impale my son with a pitch fork sort of you know. It was a stupid little funny guffaw of a moment. Could this woman crack a smile or join in on the dumb joke? No, of course not. I gotta tell you, taking your son to the developmental pediatrician is really freaking stressful and I needed a little laugh. If she'd laughed to, I wouldn't have felt so worried.

another example. my son was diagnosed with his first genetic disroder shortly after birth and then his second a bit later on. When the metabollic nurse practitioner called me with the bad news she said, "we have very few galactosemic children with a second disroder. it's really rare." And to keep from crying, I laughed and said, "well, Mies is a special guy." No response. I could have stood a little empathy at this point, or a joke or something.

Maybe it's med school that sucks it out of a person, I don't know. But I make a plea that the next generation of doctors be a little more human and a little less Data from Star Trek. Yes, I want my son's doctors to be intelligent and dedicated above all else, but is it too much to ask for that and a little humanity? I wish med schools would make med students take an improv class or something. Throw pies at them in the middle of class maybe.

I'm glad to hear you are pre-med. I think you will make an awesome doctor! And your son is lucky to have a fun, caring mom.

I think that some people just aren't funny though. When ever I try, I hear silence, crickets maybe. I also fail miserably at interpreting sarcasm (which you seem to use) unless I know the person really well. My family didn't use a lot of humor, and I was brought up to take people seriously. Any tips on how to be funnier, for us non-funny premeds? I'm a caring person, and generally think people feel at ease with me, but yea, just not funny.

 

[Shredder]

wow, sorry to hear about the genetic issues. i have a soft spot for genetic victims bc its so unfair that they dont get to start on a level playing field. scared straight tactics will not work with them.

oops that had nothing to do with a sense of humor. i wont be the type of doc to joke around, but i will be the type that wants to cure, and i hope that your docs, although serious, also feel this. so maybe you can take some solace in the fact that they are, hopefully, doing their best even if they are bad at the humor bit? dunno, i havent been in that situation.

guys, what do you think about the future of gene therapy for treating genetic problems? id like to pursue it as a med business venture. it could do a lot of good. i know that there are kinks to work out though.

 

[gerido]

wow, sorry to hear about the genetic issues. i have a soft spot for genetic victims bc its so unfair that they dont get to start on a level playing field. scared straight tactics will not work with them.

oops that had nothing to do with a sense of humor. i wont be the type of doc to joke around, but i will be the type that wants to cure, and i hope that your docs, although serious, also feel this. so maybe you can take some solace in the fact that they are, hopefully, doing their best even if they are bad at the humor bit? dunno, i havent been in that situation.

guys, what do you think about the future of gene therapy for treating genetic problems? id like to pursue it as a med business venture. it could do a lot of good. i know that there are kinks to work out though.

gene therapy, gene/drug delivery, tissue engineering are all the buzzwords right now. There's a lot of ideas, but little efficiency and too much side affects. Still in its infancy... hard to tell.

 

[Will Hunting]

gene therapy, gene/drug delivery, tissue engineering are all the buzzwords right now. There's a lot of ideas, but little efficiency and too much side affects. Still in its infancy... hard to tell.

I'll definitely keep this in mind. All the buzzwords fields are indeed in there infancy. It will be up to us to make significant challenges. I know that I'm up to the task.

 

[dilated]

Most of the docs I shadow are pretty funny guys, it's just that they don't make jokes to patients. The 9 times a patient laughs are not worth the 1 the patient is horribly offended. Some people have the "physician as solemn god" mindset and don't want to hear jokes. Once you really get to know someone (especially outside the office) and have a dr relationship for a long time they'll open up.

The real question is, is it wrong to consider orthopedic surgery because I find their wildly inappropriate senses of humor to be a blast.

 

[Shredder]

I'll definitely keep this in mind. All the buzzwords fields are indeed in there infancy. It will be up to us to make significant challenges. I know that I'm up to the task.

todays buzzwords are tomorrows billions. well, monoclonal antibodies were once hailed as the magic bullets that would revolutionize medicine, but they havent panned out that well yet. although they did put martha stewart in jail heh. anyway its all about catching fields in their infancy, just like a wave or a fad. once its already all the rage, youve missed out on the best part, the ride to the top. ive studied things like tissue engineering, gene therapy, gene/drug delivery in my bme classes, exciting material.

will hunting i started watching talented mr. ripley the other day and stopped, it was disturbing. i was expecting nice hollywood popcorn fare, definitely not that.

 

[DrBowtie]

physics buzzword of the last two decades:nanotech. It is making progress.

 

[Will Hunting]

physics buzzword of the last two decades:nanotech. It is making progress.

yea it is. I've read numerous articles in scientific American. Great stuff.

 

[Will Hunting]

todays buzzwords are tomorrows billions. well, monoclonal antibodies were once hailed as the magic bullets that would revolutionize medicine, but they havent panned out that well yet. although they did put martha stewart in jail heh. anyway its all about catching fields in their infancy, just like a wave or a fad. once its already all the rage, youve missed out on the best part, the ride to the top. ive studied things like tissue engineering, gene therapy, gene/drug delivery in my bme classes, exciting material.

will hunting i started watching talented mr. ripley the other day and stopped, it was disturbing. i was expecting nice hollywood popcorn fare, definitely not that.

I totally agree. These are fields where discoveries can make one very rich. Hence my major. furthermore, you'll be able to help people and yourself .

 

[Shredder]

physics buzzword of the last two decades:nanotech. It is making progress.

oh yeah, some of my chemical engineering profs were all about that. carbon nanotube this, buckeyball that. its just so small though, and inanimate. i like biotech, the technology of life. bending life to your will.

 

[Shredder]

I totally agree. These are fields where discoveries can make one very rich. Hence my major. furthermore, you'll be able to help people and yourself .

helping people while helping yourself is the concept that the medical community doesnt understand, save a select few.

 

[Will Hunting]

oh yeah, some of my chemical engineering profs were all about that. carbon nanotube this, buckeyball that. its just so small though, and inanimate. i like biotech, the technology of life. bending life to your will.

yep, I think it's far more interesting.

 

[DrBowtie]

Nanotubes are pretty sick...They theorized they could build an elevator to space with them. We have some people in our department who are publishing some neat stuff.

 

[Shredder]

Nanotubes are pretty sick...They theorized they could build an elevator to space with them. We have some people in our department who are publishing some neat stuff.

ha yea i did see an article about the space elevator, it came to mind right away when you brought up nano, funny you mention it. however it was in popular science, and i know profs who are against popsci bc it makes science too glamorous and ppl are let down when reality sinks in. also they use nanotech to make needles that are one atom thick at their tip.

 

[DrBowtie]

think about a nanotube with a fiber optic wire threaded through the center. Nanosurgery? This is something I have always wondered and maybe you guys could answer....Would it be beneficial to healing/less scarring to cut inbetween cells through like a microscopic laser scalpel (i.e. break the tight junctions instead of killing the cells or is that even possible)?

 

[crazy_cavalier]

that pitchfork thing is pretty funny, actually... I bet I woulda laughed or smiled at the least.

I think some docs are scared to express dark humor and crack a joke with patients. Something about it being unprofessional or paranoid about accidentally offending someone... I dunno. It's unfortunate, I agree, sometimes a good laugh can work wonders to make someone feel at ease and comfortable... I mean, "laughter is the shortest distance between two people" after all (forgot whose quote that is ^^)

 

[Shredder]

think about a nanotube with a fiber optic wire threaded through the center. Nanosurgery? This is something I have always wondered and maybe you guys could answer....Would it be beneficial to healing/less scarring to cut inbetween cells through like a microscopic laser scalpel (i.e. break the tight junctions instead of killing the cells or is that even possible)?

wow some of your pitches have some serious vision going on, so much harder to interpret while drowsy than the usual shooting the breeze. just be sure to jot down all good ideas in case they turn out to be jackpots. between me you and will whoever thinks of something juicy can spearhead it, and the other two can cling to coattails heheh. gates, allen, and ballmer like.

gah, this has nothing to do with the OP, sorry

 

[DrBowtie]

Precisely why I need to get an MD/MBA. I had ideas, logistical savvy, and an inate interest in medicine. Whereever you end up, we'll have to get in touch when my interview comes.

 

[Will Hunting]

Precisely why I need to get an MD/MBA. I had ideas, logistical savvy, and an inate interest in medicine. Whereever you end up, we'll have to get in touch when my interview comes.

it's great that I found you guys brett and shredder. In HS people always gave me crap for my reasons for going into medince, that I almost gave it up. that's a great idea Brett. I too have thought about the implications of nano in medicine and in surgery in particular. however, not about your specific idea.

 

[DrBowtie]

Damnit, I will have to save this post in case you guys steal my ideas. I need some fodder in case of litigation.

BTW: Sorry to the OP for hijacking your thread. It is 2:45 AM here and I am too lazy to PM/start my own.

 

[Will Hunting]

Damnit, I will have to save this post in case you guys steal my ideas. I need some fodder in case of litigation.

BTW: Sorry to the OP for hijacking your thread. It is 2:45 AM here and I am too lazy to PM/start my own.

: All is fair in the business world.

 

[DrBowtie]

I guess I could just pay you off with a partnership and stock options

 

[Will Hunting]

I guess I could just pay you off with a partnership and stock options

that'd do for me.

 

[ShyRem]

Back to the OP: Mies, you have to remember most of these doctors were so young when they went into medicine they haven't lived enough life yet to get a mature/fun sense of humor. They were still stuck in the "stupid is funny" stage when they went into medicine and let's face it, medical school doesn't exactly lend itself to maturing your sense of humor. Forgive them their lack of maturation - their life has usually been a very small sphere of studying, rotations, residency, etc.

 

[humuhumu]

Hello all. I am a non-traditional pre-med. I have a one year old son with a couple rare genetic disorders and I spend A LOT of time taking him to A LOT of doctors. We've seen the whole spectrum at this point from incompetent to fantastic but the one thing ALL of them seem to lack is a sense of humor. I don't know about other parents, but my husband and I couldn't get through the day if we didn't find ways to laugh about our son's problems. I wish doctors could loosen up a little. I will give you a stupid little example:

last week I had my son at the developmental pediatrician and she asked if he'd had his hearing checked. I meant to tell her that the genetic physician checked it with a tuning fork at each visit, but i accidentally said he checked it with a pitch fork. So, I laughed and said, oh no, I mean tuning fork and i pretended to impale my son with a pitch fork sort of you know. It was a stupid little funny guffaw of a moment. Could this woman crack a smile or join in on the dumb joke? No, of course not. I gotta tell you, taking your son to the developmental pediatrician is really freaking stressful and I needed a little laugh. If she'd laughed to, I wouldn't have felt so worried.

another example. my son was diagnosed with his first genetic disroder shortly after birth and then his second a bit later on. When the metabollic nurse practitioner called me with the bad news she said, "we have very few galactosemic children with a second disroder. it's really rare." And to keep from crying, I laughed and said, "well, Mies is a special guy." No response. I could have stood a little empathy at this point, or a joke or something.

Maybe it's med school that sucks it out of a person, I don't know. But I make a plea that the next generation of doctors be a little more human and a little less Data from Star Trek. Yes, I want my son's doctors to be intelligent and dedicated above all else, but is it too much to ask for that and a little humanity? I wish med schools would make med students take an improv class or something. Throw pies at them in the middle of class maybe.

Those are good anecdotes. Here's one of my favorites, overheard while volunteering at the hospital. In the ICU waiting room, Mom was talking on the phone about her son who was recovering from a car accident: "His girlfriend came to visit him, and he started hyperventilating, so they had to seduce him...(long pause)...I mean, sedate him!"

 

[angietron3000]

I try to joke with my clinical trial patients as often as possible. I'm dealing with cranky old diabetics all the time so it makes them lighten up a bit and open up more. It's way easier getting honest information out of someone who's happy to see you than one that just wants go get out of there..

me: any new symptoms we should know about?
pt: nope
me: nothing going on at all?
pt: nope
me: just the pain in the neck from having to come see us?
pt: haha, well i do have this swelling in my foot
me: ok now we're getting somewhere..

 

[candbgirl]

Besides everything that has alrady been stated, I am sure the doctors weren't sure how you would react. Moms are very sensitive about everything dealing with their kids. Unless they know you well and have had a long relationship with you I doubt they would joke about something as devastating as your little guy's problems. Down the line I bet they will relax and enjoy you and your child. Mies is lucky to have you in his corner. Good luck.

 

[prana_md]

maybe it's endemic to the specialty, but there's a lot of laughing in the emergency room. my partner is an ER doc, and he's trying to learn medical spanish.

a few weeks ago he was seeing a spanish speaking patient with a cough. he wanted to know if the man had been out of the country lately -- a risk factor for TB. so he asks, "tiene viejas?"

the man answers, "no, just my wife." (in spanish)

while "viajes" means travels, which is what he meant to say, "viejas" means "old women." the three of us (I was shadowing at the time) all cracked up.

 

[Its_MurDAH]

Besides everything that has alrady been stated, I am sure the doctors weren't sure how you would react. Moms are very sensitive about everything dealing with their kids. Unless they know you well and have had a long relationship with you I doubt they would joke about something as devastating as your little guy's problems. Down the line I bet they will relax and enjoy you and your child. Mies is lucky to have you in his corner. Good luck.

My sentiments exactly.


Almost all the surgeons I have met are funny but in a dark, disturbing, almost obscene kind of way. They use such humor as a stress reliever during surgery but very rarely (read: never) does the patient get to see it. Remember...what happens in the OR stays in the OR. And if anyone here has scrubbed into surgeries, they will know what I am talking about.

Back to the OP: I guess doctors get fed so much serious **** for so long that they forget how to relax and joke around a bit. I consider myself to be a pretty funny person. Sure i embarass myself a ton of times and will crack jokes from time to time that no one seems to get but me, but, hey, hopefully I will be more effective in my patient interaction.....or not.