My friend lacks perspective... and may be a spoiled little brat (jk).. but seriously. Life advice?

DennisReynolds

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Sup dudes (and dudettes).

I'll keep it short and straight to the point, and hopefully don't give away my friend's identity... I have a friend who doesn't know what he/she wants out of life.
He/she is an incoming PGY-1 into IM (like myself), doesn't know if specialty/fellowship training is on his/her radar, and is in his/her late 20s (27-29 years of age). Chose IM because it was the only thing they actually found somewhat bearable on rotations.

Here's the kicker. Parents paid for the entirety of his/her schooling. That's right. He/She is leaving medical school with no loans. Parents paid off everything with cash and doesn't know what she/he wants to "shoot for" in residency. We recently had a phone convo and were just talking about life, lessons, and talking about the future until this person confided in me that he/she doesn't know what the next step in life is.

They don't see themselves being a doctor forever. Eventually wants to start a non-profit organization to give back to kids in underserved areas (college scholarships, mentoring, etc.), wants to write a book, wants to get into social media more... etc.

So my question for you... the reader... WHAT would YOU do if you had no loans and were about to start IM residency?

Would you try your best to kill it these next 3 years, find a hospitalist job, work 14 shifts a month with the chance to work extra to stack up, and save money to invest?
Would you spend an extra year or 3-6 years chasing a fellowship?

How do I help this person overcome his/her "fear" of the what the next 3 years holds?

Appreciate any and all replies.
 
D

deleted1005514

He/she will be a different person at the end of residency than they are now. Their priorities might change completely in the next 3 years, at which time they can pursue whatever path seems fulfilling.

Me personally? I’d do 3 years in IM, try to get an ID fellowship, get my MPH and go into ID/Public health when I was done. But that's just where my interests lie.

Also, your friend can do all those things (non-profit, book, social media) WHILE being a doctor.
 
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DokterMom

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The first step is simply to do the best they can during the next three years. Simply that.

While trying to be the best IM resident they can, they should also keep their eyes open for what facets of the field they most enjoy and what facets they enjoy least, and importantly - WHY. What was good/terrible about certain rotations, certain days? What aspect of the work is most rewarding and most soul-sucking?

If they find more clarity later, apply for fellowship then. If not, take the board exams, then take a long vacation.

Sounds like they drifted on a wave of either achievement/prestige-seeking or parental pressure, and that medicine wasn't really a calling. It may turn out to be a decent career choice, or perhaps an awful one -- but they won't know until they get some distance. And the time to get that distance is after their future has been secured and NOT before.

One other suggestion: A BIG change of scenery. In my experience, you can't really tell what's 'You being You' and what's 'You in your setting' if you never change the setting. When you change the setting, parts of you that aren't authentic tend to fall away and other parts emerge that fit better. It's a great experience to have -- but later, when the time is right.
 
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tantacles

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Sup dudes (and dudettes).

I'll keep it short and straight to the point, and hopefully don't give away my friend's identity... I have a friend who doesn't know what he/she wants out of life.
He/she is an incoming PGY-1 into IM (like myself), doesn't know if specialty/fellowship training is on his/her radar, and is in his/her late 20s (27-29 years of age). Chose IM because it was the only thing they actually found somewhat bearable on rotations.

Here's the kicker. Parents paid for the entirety of his/her schooling. That's right. He/She is leaving medical school with no loans. Parents paid off everything with cash and doesn't know what she/he wants to "shoot for" in residency. We recently had a phone convo and were just talking about life, lessons, and talking about the future until this person confided in me that he/she doesn't know what the next step in life is.

They don't see themselves being a doctor forever. Eventually wants to start a non-profit organization to give back to kids in underserved areas (college scholarships, mentoring, etc.), wants to write a book, wants to get into social media more... etc.

So my question for you... the reader... WHAT would YOU do if you had no loans and were about to start IM residency?

Would you try your best to kill it these next 3 years, find a hospitalist job, work 14 shifts a month with the chance to work extra to stack up, and save money to invest?
Would you spend an extra year or 3-6 years chasing a fellowship?

How do I help this person overcome his/her "fear" of the what the next 3 years holds?

Appreciate any and all replies.

You can't help this person overcome their fear. Everyone process medicine differently. It sounds like your friend is incredibly lucky. Many people don't know what they want to shoot for in residency, and many people go into residency ultimately realizing that medicine isn't for them and feel trapped because of their debt. Your friend has the chance to escape.

I would encourage your friend to explore all possibilities, medical and non-medical, and choose what is best for them. They have a golden opportunity to get out without penalty if they don't want to be there.
 
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DrSnips

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I think it's difficult to be certain you don't want to be a physician for a career just from one's experience on med school rotations. The job you do as a resident is completely different; your friend might love it (or hate it even more). My advice is wait and see how he enjoys residency and do some electives during residency in any sub specialties of interest to see if they are a good fit.
 
D

deleted480308

Sup dudes (and dudettes).

I'll keep it short and straight to the point, and hopefully don't give away my friend's identity... I have a friend who doesn't know what he/she wants out of life.
He/she is an incoming PGY-1 into IM (like myself), doesn't know if specialty/fellowship training is on his/her radar, and is in his/her late 20s (27-29 years of age). Chose IM because it was the only thing they actually found somewhat bearable on rotations.

Here's the kicker. Parents paid for the entirety of his/her schooling. That's right. He/She is leaving medical school with no loans. Parents paid off everything with cash and doesn't know what she/he wants to "shoot for" in residency. We recently had a phone convo and were just talking about life, lessons, and talking about the future until this person confided in me that he/she doesn't know what the next step in life is.

They don't see themselves being a doctor forever. Eventually wants to start a non-profit organization to give back to kids in underserved areas (college scholarships, mentoring, etc.), wants to write a book, wants to get into social media more... etc.

So my question for you... the reader... WHAT would YOU do if you had no loans and were about to start IM residency?

Would you try your best to kill it these next 3 years, find a hospitalist job, work 14 shifts a month with the chance to work extra to stack up, and save money to invest?
Would you spend an extra year or 3-6 years chasing a fellowship?

How do I help this person overcome his/her "fear" of the what the next 3 years holds?

Appreciate any and all replies.
Not your job. Lots of people don’t know the future, just take good care of your patients for now and learn things
 
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