My girlfriend broke up w/me after I got accepted.

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Originally posted by Deuce 007 MD
I just had to vent my sad story. So here goes. I got my acceptance letter on Oct. 19 and it was one of the happiest days in my life. My girl and I celebrated the whole weekend. A week later she broke up with me. Her reasons being: the school is out of state and long distance relationships don't work, in four years she'll be almost 30 and might gain weight, and I'll be a doctor looking at younger & slimmer girls, she never went to college and I'll be in school with all these educated younger girls, I'll be a cocky bastard when I graduate, and I can't promise her anything until I graduate. I'm just so frustrated, one week of sheer bliss followed by such sorrow.:( :( :(
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smart girl.
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I get worried looking at this stuff. My gf and I have been together for five years and are very much in love. That said however, she was not as enthusiastic as I was about taking a year off between college and grad school, and is subsequently starting law school here next August.

Though I am confident that I will get into my state medical school for 2004, I am still worried that I might not and end up having to move away.

With her being in law school and me not there for her every day, I think that we'll probably not make it - even though I think we would try the long distance thing.
 
I'm in a very similar situation. My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half so far and I am planning (hopefully) on going to med school 1000 miles away from where he lives, his family live, where we currently go to school together and where his life is centered. I've worried and worried over this but my final conclusion is that I'm not going to put him over my life. If I get in this year, I will go. If not, maybe things will work out in a different way. I think things happen the way they were meant to. Let fate take over. Just my 2 cents.
 
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Originally posted by Chode
smart girl.
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As if chode has ever had a GF...lol...LMAO

* Hey babe, wanna come over to my dad's house and get busy*
 
Well, lemme add my $.02:

My significant other of 5+ years wants to move from CA (where we're from) to the east coast with me for med school! Total bombshell since I hadn't seen it coming. We had talked before as if we were just going to see what happens on our own. I am not crazy about this because this is a HUGE step and I'm not sure he's the ONE (though he thinks I am), even if he's a great guy, always accommodating to my needs. He said, "the minute you move, it's all over in my mind". It kinda sounds like an ultimatum doesn't it? I don't know if I like that. Personally I like taking some time out before I make the next scary big move in our relationship. What's wrong with that? Am I just another heartless b!tch?

sunflower79 :confused:
 
Originally posted by Raptor
u know what there are going to be more girls, **** in few years you will be big pimpin and spendin cheese. you dont need her
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Do you live in a P Diddy video?
 
Actually to be quite correct, if he is "big pimpin' and spendin' cheese" then he must be stuck in a Jay-z video ;)
 
Well, Sunflower, sounds like you are a heartless bitch JUST LIKE ME. J/K. I have thought and thought about that too (we are kind of in the same boat except that I haven't been accepted yet). If its meant to be, its meant to be. :)
 
deuce,

pm me a pix of ur gf. :D i'll make some recommendations depending on how hot she is. j/k...
 
i'm in a similar situation to the original poster. only i am female and my boyfriend ditched me shortly after i got in to med school. although i won't be moving anywhere to go to school, he told me he needs some time to think about his life and figure out his career plans. this doesn't really make sense to me since that's not something he can't do while we're together.

yeah, just thought i'd air out some of my dirty laundry
 
That's too bad scifi, I feel for you. Maybe he just saw you moving on with your dreams and goals and felt like he was treading water. Was medicine a goal that both of you had?

He's likely the type of guy who needs to be carry his weight in the relationship and might have felt like his "lack of direction" might hinder your progress. Of course, I don't have all the facts, but be patient. He'll probably be a lot better to deal with once he feels on track professionally. If the relationship is solid, you'll be back together soon.

Peace~ Doc
 
My gf and I broke up in Feburary. I have known that I was going to med school since Oct. At the time, her and I were arguing alot and she was becoming a hassle. As school approaches and I have had time to think about it, I am not sure if I gave the relationship a chance. Now, I am wondering if I should try to get back with her or just leave it alone. She is in graduate school in the same city where I will be going to medical school. I still care for her, but I am not too sure if she will be good for me while I am in school. I would hate to have worked this hard to get in and then allow someone else to affect me to the point where I fail out. In getting her back, I have thought about being proactive and about waiting to see what happens. Tell me, is this a risk I should take or should I let the future run its course?
 
Chris, Like I said before.. If its meant to be, its meant to be. I'm sure you all will talk and so forth. You'll know if it "feels right." The little things mean so much, and things stick with you.

Actually reminds me something... I think about this everytime I think about whether my boyfriend is "the one" or not.

A few weeks before I took the MCAT (April 03), my boyfriend told me that he would make sure I eat a good meal, we would watch a movie, get to bed early (at his place), rub my back until I fell asleep, drive me to the MCAT the next morning... Basically the works. Well to make a long story short, he ended up completely ditching me to go out with his friends that night. He got really really drunk and called me at 2am and THEN asked if I wanted to come to his place. I was in tears, very upset, couldn't sleep, etc. I tend to be dramatic at times and really needed someone to be there for me, just to help me relax before my big day, ya know? And he never even felt bad about it. (sorry to vent... still mad about it)

Whenever I think about having to (I guess ultimately) "choose" him over med school, I think about that. Thanks and have a nice day all. :D :D :D
 
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Originally posted by Sparkles
he ended up completely ditching me to go out with his friends that night. He got really really drunk and called me at 2am and THEN asked if I wanted to come to his place.
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How rude :mad: Good thing you dumped his ass.
 
A few weeks before I took the MCAT (April 03), my boyfriend told me that he would make sure I eat a good meal, we would watch a movie, get to bed early (at his place), rub my back until I fell asleep, drive me to the MCAT the next morning... Basically the works. Well to make a long story short, he ended up completely ditching me to go out with his friends that night. He got really really drunk and called me at 2am and THEN asked if I wanted to come to his place. I was in tears, very upset, couldn't sleep, etc. I tend to be dramatic at times and really needed someone to be there for me, just to help me relax before my big day, ya know? And he never even felt bad about it.
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I am sorry to hear that. I guess he wasn't the one or did you let this episode slide? Your bf was not supportive and this is the exact same thing that I am afraid of. Considering what I am about to go thru, I need someone who is going to be there for me. I need someone to help me when I am feeling down or just plain freaked out. I am not too sure she is the one to provide this kind of support.
 
Originally posted by Doc Ivy
Actually to be quite correct, if he is "big pimpin' and spendin' cheese" then he must be stuck in a Jay-z video ;)
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haha... my bad yo. I gitz ma peep's mxd up, word.
 
Originally posted by Deuce 007 MD
That's what I've been trying to tell her. And about the promising part, I don't want to say something that I can't deliver on. She did share the bliss with me, but I don't know about a lifetime, we've only been dating 2 years. We've talked about her moving with me, but nothing solid. I'm trying to figure out what more I can offer her. Any advise? Oh, and she gets alot of these ideas from my fathers friends, who are doctors in their 40s-50s divorcing their middle aged wives for younger women.
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dating two years...hmmm

ya know, not too long ago, people got married much more quickly and the divorce rate was much lower. I'm not saying the two are necessarily connected, just wondering what might be a theoretical link.
 
Originally posted by sunflower79
Well, lemme add my $.02:

My significant other of 5+ years wants to move from CA (where we're from) to the east coast with me for med school! Total bombshell since I hadn't seen it coming. We had talked before as if we were just going to see what happens on our own. I am not crazy about this because this is a HUGE step and I'm not sure he's the ONE (though he thinks I am), even if he's a great guy, always accommodating to my needs. He said, "the minute you move, it's all over in my mind". It kinda sounds like an ultimatum doesn't it? I don't know if I like that. Personally I like taking some time out before I make the next scary big move in our relationship. What's wrong with that? Am I just another heartless b!tch?

sunflower79 :confused:
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you've been together for 5+ years and you consider living in the same city a "scary big move"??? that's whack sister! last i checked, "significant other" was on par with domestic partner, spouse, etc. is he merely you're "boyfriend?" if you're not ready for a deep commitment, then let him know *now* and cool things off for a while! if he's willing to move for you, he's serious about the relationship . . . you have to figure out if you want that or not! you definitely aren't a heartless b!tch, but c'mon, *5 years* and you still can't decide whether you want to be with him????
 
Originally posted by Sparkles
Actually reminds me something... I think about this everytime I think about whether my boyfriend is "the one" or not.

A few weeks before I took the MCAT (April 03), my boyfriend told me that he would make sure I eat a good meal, we would watch a movie, get to bed early (at his place), rub my back until I fell asleep, drive me to the MCAT the next morning... Basically the works. Well to make a long story short, he ended up completely ditching me to go out with his friends that night. He got really really drunk and called me at 2am and THEN asked if I wanted to come to his place. I was in tears, very upset, couldn't sleep, etc. I tend to be dramatic at times and really needed someone to be there for me, just to help me relax before my big day, ya know? And he never even felt bad about it. (sorry to vent... still mad about it)

Whenever I think about having to (I guess ultimately) "choose" him over med school, I think about that. Thanks and have a nice day all. :D :D :D
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seriously??? daaaaaaaaaaaaaayum. SO not the one. a$s. sorry you had to go through that.
 
Originally posted by Firebird
dating two years...hmmm

ya know, not too long ago, people got married much more quickly and the divorce rate was much lower. I'm not saying the two are necessarily connected, just wondering what might be a theoretical link.
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right and who's to say those two people weren't happy or were happy? people of previous generations just tended to stay together regardless. i vote happiness.

advocating hopping right into marriage? :rolleyes: good plan, stan! no way in hell am i going to hop right into marriage to someone before dating them a couple of years and v.likely living with them at some point first.
 
Wow I'm not alone.

Chrisaina,
that's exactly how I feel, what if I didn't give it a chance, I'll never know. Maybe I could've offered more in easing her insecurities. Or maybe we'll just brake up again and this time during medical school, which might jeopardize my academic performance.

Sunflower,
5+ years and your not sure if he's the one? Man that's exactly what my gf is afraid of, that once I finish in 4 years, by that time she'll be 30, that I won't want her anymore. I don't think it is fair for me to drag her threw this and not be with her in the end. I love her like a fat boy loves cake, but would she love me if I was down and out.

Sparkles,
I have a very similar story. Two weeks before the mcat I told my gf that the day before the mcat I'm just going to chill and catch a movie with her, so I can go to bed early that night. During these two weeks I'm taking practice mcats 1-6 and timing myself, so I don't like to get interupted during 90 minutes or 110 minute test blocks. She calls me several times during these test blocks and I don't pick up. When I do pick up she ask me to move her car for her because she is at work and she doesn't want to get a ticket cuz of street cleaning. I tell her I can't do it right now I'm in test mode and I'll do it when I get around to it later. Well when I do get around to it she gets a ticket, I told her I'll pay for it, but she keeps it inside and holds a grudge. So the day berfore the mcat comes and I'm planning to just catch a move with her, she decides she not going to do anything with me and go out. We get into a big fight about this and I eventually don't get to sleep until 4 a.m. Let's just say I wasn't in optimal testing mode the next day.
 
Originally posted by GoodMonkey
and v.likely living with them at some point first.
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Not an option for some of us.
 
Originally posted by Firebird
Not an option for some of us.
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well, legally, you have all the options in the world, in terms of co-habitation. you're self-selecting your options (and judging by your previous posts, i'm going with this being a religious preference) which is all well and good... for YOU... but suggesting that getting married sooner (as compared to dating for 2+ years first or something of that sort) will help to lower the divorce rate is just kind of funny and a little counterintuitive.
 
Chris, You are absolutely right. You want someone to support you through this whole thing.

Oh yeah, and I actually kind of did let the mcat thing slide. He never even felt bad about it, but oh well. I'm pretty sure that episode in itself made me feel like he's not the one. Everytime he does something that hurts me (which isn't very often, though) I think of this. Everytime I think about it, I feel like crying.

Deuce, I'm sorry to hear about your similar story. Trust me, I know exactly how you feel. It's like the one you're supposed to count on and be there for just completely abondons you in your time of need. Thinking the tables were turned (if he were taking a similar test, or going for a job interview early in the morning, or something) I wouldn't even THINK of doing anything else, let alone what he did. *sigh*

WHERE ARE THE DECENT MEN OUT THERE???? DAAAY-UMMM!!!
 
its amazing to me how much of our lives are based on the opposite sex. but, i'm the same way. g$- what up, doll? hope you're well. love you all.

p
 
Hey Sparkles, that's some story about your bf :eek:

To tell you the truth, I dumped a FRIEND who was completely wiffy with me around the MCAT. I guess I had been working so hard studying and working my *ss off that I felt I had no room left for bullsh*t and I just didn't care who it was from. This friend had been kind of jerking me around and basically ignoring the stresses I was under and I found that my energy was getting sapped. I felt like I started to just sit and fume over what a horrible friend she was being. So one morning when I STILL hadn't heard anything back from her after a couple of days I sent her an email from the library and said: look, this friendship is just not working for me. You are not being supportive and I don't think I can continue to be friends with you as a result. Funny enough, she did respond pretty quickly to that - too late of course.

But the most important thing I observed, was that as soon as I cut the cord, I suddenly had all my energy and selfconfidence back and studied hard the rest of the day. Bad relationships can really just drain our energy and steal our confidence. Later, I couldn't believe I had put up with her iffy behaviour for so long and felt very good about myself for telling her WHY I was angry and WHY I didn't want to be friends with her.
 
hey Sparkles sorry to hear that :p

well Bannanie you have a point. I started dating my bf when I started college. I know he loves me a lot and would walk through fire for me, but he has certain qualities that make me feel like I'm settling (e.g. I wish he would be a bit more ambitious because he's smart, and he can be rather needy sometimes). Am I just being perfectionistic? :confused:

Also I think I might just want a chance to test the waters, give the ol' single life a spin one last time while I'm in a new place before I buckle down with someone for the long haul. Does anyone hear me on this?

sunflower :(
 
Originally posted by chrisaina



I am sorry to hear that. I guess he wasn't the one or did you let this episode slide? Your bf was not supportive and this is the exact same thing that I am afraid of. Considering what I am about to go thru, I need someone who is going to be there for me. I need someone to help me when I am feeling down or just plain freaked out. I am not too sure she is the one to provide this kind of support.
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Ummm, Sparkles you are seriously one high maintence chick, and it sounds like you need a steady prescription of prozac more than anything. You start crying whenever you think about how your boyfriend didn't rub your back? Please. There are people out there who actually have real problems to deal with. Consider growing up.

Now, Chrisaina, you need to grow some balls. Aside from your womanly name, try not relying on a pair of titties to suckle. You regularly get "freaked out"? Do guys even get "freaked out"? Wow. Try watching your family members get their arms chopped off in Sierra Leone and then tell me if studying biochem freaks you out anymore.
 
The problem is most people see love/emotional attachment as a bottle neck in attaining their materialistic goals. Maybe the attachment is a mere eating and sleepting together affair; then why call it a relationship. Give love a chance and do not see it as a problem in the pursuit of your MD.

Well, I hope I did not offend anyone....:)

best
 
Originally posted by Sparkles

WHERE ARE THE DECENT MEN OUT THERE???? DAAAY-UMMM!!!
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There's one in Chicago that I know of. :p
 
Originally posted by Dr. Will
You suck! :p And you know it's true! :p
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You're right. There is bound to be one great guy in Chicago. Hey, Imtiaz lives there! :p

For the record, Drill is a great guy. Or at least he thinks so. :D
 
Originally posted by imperator
Ummm, Sparkles you are seriously one high maintence chick, and it sounds like you need a steady prescription of prozac more than anything. You start crying whenever you think about how your boyfriend didn't rub your back? Please. There are people out there who actually have real problems to deal with. Consider growing up.
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Okay, um, obviously you didn't catch what I'm saying. I am not upset about the FACT that he didn't do jack **** for me the night before a very important day for me. I'm upset about that fact that he *lied* to me and showing me in a sense that I cannot depend on him. Someone that is supposed to be my partner- supporting me no matter what, but who ends up telling me one thing and doing another and not even bother to wish me luck on something that was obviously important to me? And this person I am supposed to trust with all of my heart for the rest of my life? I'd say I have somewhat of a problem. So I don't think I'm wrong in being upset in the fact that my relationship with someone isn't what I need or deserve.

BTW, Sunflower, I hear you loud and clear!:)
 
Originally posted by Carbon
You're right. There is bound to be one great guy in Chicago. Hey, Imtiaz lives there! :p

For the record, Drill is a great guy. Or at least he thinks so. :D
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You really suck now! :p
 
Originally posted by Carbon
You know, you might be an even BETTER guy if you'd CUT YOUR HAIR!

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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I did! Sucks for you that you can't see it. :p
 
Wow...reading all these stories on here really makes me think about what will happen between my partner and I when I apply next year, if I get in somewhere out of state. Weve talked about it, of course, but our decision was basically to hold off on making a decision until the time comes around, since it's almost impossible to predict what you'll be thinking and feeling a year or more in advance. We live together, but no marriage or serious consideration of marriage at this point--neither of us is ready for that now. If he was going to move to another state on my account, though, I think that would need to be at least a strong possibility--not that I would want us to get engaged or anything before moving, but if after more than 2 years of living together (which is what it would be at that point), if we couldn't see spending the rest of our lives together as at least a good likelihood that would probably be a sign that we might be better making a clean break. That's hard to imagine, though--I'm pretty happy with him on the whole, and even though I'm not sure yet if he's the person I want to spend the rest of my life with I can't see myself with anybody else right now. Plus I hate dating, and all the crap that goes along with it. Tough decisions to have to make; good luck to everyone dealing with it now, and hopefully next year if my partner and I are faced with similar choices we'll make the right decision! :confused:
 
love the sig, mistress S. :) let the rabbits wear glasses!
 
An SO who picks a fight right before something like the MCAT, just to be hurtful, is NOT going to be there when you need someone supportive after the boards or a long night of call. Unless you have reason to think this person has grown up a LOT since then, move on.

Deuce, if she says you will ditch her for a thinner girl in 4 years, she doesn't think much of you, either because she's insecure and shallow or because she has reason to think you aren't committed to her and is expressing it awkwardly. After 2 years of dating, I would have to wonder where things are going, too. To break it off without talking about it is certainly immature.
 
Man, I wouldn't put up with that. "See ya!" is what I'd say. First though, I'd

jack her then ask her, "Who's the man?"
if she doesn't say "007 MD"

then bust in her E-Y-E

Gumshoe

ps- sorry, Biggie smallz, I stole your ****
 
Originally posted by GoodMonkey
but suggesting that getting married sooner (as compared to dating for 2+ years first or something of that sort) will help to lower the divorce rate is just kind of funny and a little counterintuitive.
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I agree. Not sure what I was talking about earlier. I think I was trying to point out that our generation is much, much pickier than before. That has its benefits and its problems. I don't suspect earlier generations were any more discontent after marriage, though.
 
Well we got back together for about 3 months, then the first week of school we broke up again, cuz she found out I went out w/quit a few other girls during our brake up. It wasn't meant to be then, but hey this time I'm not so sad, cuz there are a lot of attractive people at UCLA. And cuz school has been stressing me out to much to worry about her. So a warning to those getting accepted this year, if your girl or guy brakes up w/you cuz you might be moving out of state, then they are just doing you a favor. Because you are better off w/out them.:D
 
bump... any more updates?
 
Originally posted by Deuce 007 MD
I just had to vent my sad story. So here goes. I got my acceptance letter on Oct. 19 and it was one of the happiest days in my life. My girl and I celebrated the whole weekend. A week later she broke up with me. Her reasons being: the school is out of state and long distance relationships don't work, in four years she'll be almost 30 and might gain weight, and I'll be a doctor looking at younger & slimmer girls, she never went to college and I'll be in school with all these educated younger girls, I'll be a cocky bastard when I graduate, and I can't promise her anything until I graduate. I'm just so frustrated, one week of sheer bliss followed by such sorrow.:( :( :(
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Dude, she did you a BIG favor. Some day you'll realize it. Get yourself an educated girl. That big of an education difference is an incompatibility. She feels interior next to you.
 
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