Need advice, ideas, and suggested timeline for self pity. Or maybe you went thru the same?

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kernel

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Hi all,

Here's another chronicle about how the NAVLE can crush some peoples' souls. Here's mine, and I'm still feeling so empty/shocked/utterly pathetic that I could really use and would appreciate everyone's insight, personal stories, comfort, reminders to buck the f*ck up, ideas for the next steps... you name it. There's a TL;DR at the end if you can't stand this thread already.

My sob story and other first world problems
Based on what I explain below, I opted to take it the first time in April. Yesterday, I found out I failed. The anguish that comes with that is just so perfectly fitting with the general sense of brain-ineptitude and frustration that has blossomed throughout vet school. I almost feel like I asked for all this to happen based on... vet school (I have hated every moment of it except for when working with a handful of brilliant clinicians, when I've been on externships with other vets and/or doing anything vet related OFF school grounds. Erm, this doesn't really need to be a novel, but that's what it's turning into. ANYWAY

I had a really rough 3rd year, which includes a crazy freak accident where I got kicked in the head by a feral pony stallion (that the resident felt was appropriate to be restrained by two small-animal focused students weighing less than 150lbs, let alone be a student project horse to begin with??? Still trying to do that calculus in my head.) in February. It could have been a lot worse (i.e. dead. but yay! no more student loans or NAVLE), but this was actually my 5th or 6th major concussion, and when I sustained the one I had before this, I lost consciousness. May or may not have a fleck of brain cells remaining.

Needless to say the next few months were hell. I was never a good student to begin with. I'm lazy, and I skip class. But when I mean business, I know I can do it. I've done it before. So in the months that followed (when I wasn't missing class or going to dr appointments) I had never studied so hard in my life... Still failed one of my spring lecture courses, which prevented me from taking 8 months of clinics in the subject related to that course.

I subscribed to Zuku last summer, but made the decision to not register for the Nov/Dec NAVLE, due to sh*tty moral, and concerns about simply not having the book knowledge or rotation experience under my belt (funnily enough, by FAR the most amount of learning I did was during preceptor/externships... school rotations involved flushing equine catheters and wheeling my 4 (four!) portosystemic shunt dog patients to CT in one week...true story. Small school though). So I marked April on my calendar.

Another life blow happened, but it was something I could have prevented by not dating, falling in love with, and moving in with another person at school. Who subsequently left me for her best friend. Needless to say, boards rolled around and I didn't really care about anything on the planet (the one neat thing about that is that it was the first time I've never experienced test anxiety, so if anything I though this might be what I needed to pass!). I finished 5 hours into the test thinking it was fine.

Well, it wasn't. I failed by a handful of points. What's more infuriating is that my score would have been passing if it had been the fall---the cutoff was much higher this time around.


My thoughts about what do. Or lack thereof.
Anyway, I have no effing clue what to do. I was holding off on applying for jobs a) because the handful of clinics I had spoken to earlier said they needed people to start right away and b) a small piece of me knew i would fail.
The only way you can actually work as a DVM without having passed the NAVLE is by being an intern at a university, because they don't require you to get a state license. Not only is it too late for that, but the few schools who didn't match and are actively contacting my school for interested students need someone to start ASAP. Again, I'm not done until mid-August.

"Travel!!!" say all my non-vet school friends and family members that I've told. Sure, let me just change the negative sign (-) in front of the $120,000 listed under "LOANS" on my budget spreadsheet to a positive. And I'm sure I could benefit immensely from more externships (my school only requires 4 weeks worth, which can be broken up at however many clinics you want--I know other schools require up to 2, even 3 months), but again, I have no money. Like I'm going to have to start selling my electronics and furniture to make sure I order enough discounted Hill's Rx food while I'm still eligible

Tech? Yeah, but...
One idea I was toying with was to poke around for clinics that need a technician. Even as I type this, I feel the knowledge I need for boards and vet things in general are spiraling down my brain-drain. If somehow, somewhere there's a mixed animal, ambulatory vet (dream job) that could use a hand and would be willing to take me under their wing, that might be a great options. I worked as a technician (not certified) in a small animal practice before school. But that's... exactly what I DON'T want to be doing career wise. I switched to ambulatory. I love dogs and cats, but I need to feel the wind in my hair through the truck window, to have my arm up cows, do lameness exams in 95 degree heat or pouring rain... I just love me some big herbivores, ya know? But I have next to no LA experience other than the medically things we learn in vet school. I didn't know what a hackamore was until 2 weeks ago. I have to have my friend watch me saddle the horse I'm leasing because it slid sideways once and took me with it. Layman's terms for ****? Tying up? Stocking up? Gotta google it all. I'd be a laughable tech at best.

Unfortunately, I don't know any vets who would a) pay someone to tech for 6 months knowing theyre just gonna leave after the NAVLE b) hire someone who wants to work with large animals when I'd never rasped a hoof or put a nose lead on a cow until vet school.
And even if I did, I'd be embarrassed as hell to ask for a job given my failings. How do I go about explaining, "y delicate psyche couldn't handle vet school so not only did I have to take 9 months off to reevaluate my possible quarter life crisis-- driving down the pacific coast eating crab and learning the fiddle and dying my hair blue after my second year--, I then decided to lose what few brain cells I had left and utterly bellyflopped my way from spring 2017 to when I failed the NAVLE despite having 3 months to study for it. So hire me plz?" And back to the NAVLE--I do plan on getting Zuku/Vet prep again IN ADDITION to using my old notes (i had so many friends say that class notes were useless... I distinctly remember a NAVLE question asking about the bacteria that most commonly causes bovine infectious keratoconjunctivitis. Would have not known it was Moraxella had I not reorganized my LAM and SAM binders for storage 3 weeks prior. Wish I had kept them out of storage... :( )

I know this is getting dramatic, I apologize. There are just so many feelings that I can't even begin to deal with. Anger, self loathing, fear, inadequacy, and sadly, but most of all, extreme bitterness that I didn't end up proving my (veterinarian) ex wrong when she straight up told me I wouldn't pass the NAVLE on my first try. I still love her, but in the wise words of my Standford-pedigreed, lawyer mother, "she's a foolish, manipulative c*nt"--it's funny because my mom doesn't speak that way :chicken:

Anyway, I could really use some ideas for what to do next advice, perspective... anything. An "it's going to be okay even though it doesn't feel like it." A hug. My best vet school friends graduated last year (I dropped back a class after my 9 months off), and I never got close to anyone in c/o 2018 because they are so intimidatingly clique. And, ooooof course, the most popular girl is "the best friend" my ex left me for.

I can't wait to look back on all this is 10 years and laugh. I just need to know what to do next, and how to make my silver lining.

Thanks guys. Sorry for the novel. I supposed following would have sufficed, but at least I used all this time typing instead of drinking and/or sobbing.

TL;DR: Waited until April to take the NAVLE for the first time because I had taken time off the year prior (can you say rusty?!), and sustained a head injury shortly after my return. Also not super smart to begin with... Just failed NAVLE. Can't take it again until Nov/Dec (won't get results until Jan). Feeling ashamed, angry, lost, extremely broke, and stupid. Don't know who would (or why anyone would) want me as a tech. What do?

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I have no useful advice, just some possible leads, as I am not even a vet student yet. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you've been dealt such a sh** hand. You'll make it through though - plenty of people have failed the NAVLE (some more than once) and still made it to become successful doctors. Could you get a part-time tech job and spend the rest of your time studying? Possibly do emergency? I have teched in emergency and the positions tend to pay relatively well compared to other types of practices. I also feel that in working in emergency (or maybe even specialty?), I am exposed to a wider variety of cases and we have more diagnostic tools, etc than most general practices have - so this might be good for keeping you fresh on all you learned in school? Regardless, my best wishes to you. A year or two from now when you're a practicing doctor this will all seem like nbd.
 
hi. I'm outside of your profession, but maybe I can help.

I'm a future podiatry resident who just graduated last week. I hated the **** out of school. Failed two classes in first year. Failed one in my 2nd year. Failed my Step 1 boards twice and initially struggled in clinic. I didn't get kicked by a horse or any of that but I'm pretty sure I had some form of depression and mild mental ****ery. I couldn't even match into a residency, I had to scramble into one. that's how sucky it was. I didn't want to get up every day. I didn't want to be in school. I wanted to quit like 4 times. It was all awful.

I don't know what the timeline is for vet boards btu the first thing I would say is- get your mind in a good spot. Ask for vet tech positions or preceptorships or whatever so you can at least have some small amount of money somewhere. Then study. I think boards all across professions are just trash by and large. You never know, someone could see themselves in you where they had struggles in the past and just give you a chance. All you need is one.

But the most important thing is to get your mind right. You aren't bad or stupid or horrible or anything. You had some life occurrences and you struggled with a test. It doesn't make you less of a person or anything. I went through all that misery and got a residency and a DPM. There were others in my classes who did the same. There are plenty of people who struggled in school or with boards and got past that one test and went on to become excellent clinicians.

If you still think it's worth it, find some friends or some video games or whatever you do to make yourself happy (if you do) get in a decent frame of mind, then go from there.
 
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It's going to be okay even though it doesn't feel like it.

People fail the NAVLE every year. Some people fail it more than once. They pass it eventually, and they get jobs, and they live their lives.

You need to evaluate what precisely went wrong with your studying habits and the test (do they still give you break downs by species of how you did with each?) and make a plan for the fall, but I promise the end is not nigh. Get your loan situation in line so you don't have to pay anything. Get a job as a tech, or hell, just doing something you like that pays enough to live on. Study, live a little, get your mental heath a little more situated and keep on keeping on. It's a test that has literally nothing to do with how you perform as a practicing vet. You just need to figure out passing it, and then never worry about the stupid thing again.
 
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My friend failed it in November when we took it. She also failed it the next attempt in April. She had a private practice equine internship lined up prior to her failed attempts. They still let her come, but she was a “tech intern” on paper and paid 2/3 of the intern salary until she managed to pass on her third attempt. My understanding is that some states will let you practice under someone, so that might be possible? Maybe I don’t understand that right though. From what I hear it can be a bigger liability for that person so many people aren’t willing to ‘sponsor’ someone like that but I’ve heard of people still getting a job until the next retake. I know a student at my current institution didn’t pass and he got a job as a tech until he passed. I promise it’s not the end of the world.

Believe me, I know what you feel. I found out last month that I didn’t pass phase 1 of my specialty boards. But there’s nothing you can do but move forward, figure out why you didn’t pass, and try again. You chose this career for a reason and to give up now seems silly.
 
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You can also work under a licensed vet as long as they are in the building. Some vets are willing to do that
Interesting--I thought this only applied to interns at universities (a friend was telling me about an old classmate who failed 4 times in a row despite being a brilliant person and vet in every way. Finally her old vet school heard about it and immediately offered her an intership because they wanted her expertise, and the law doesn't require interns at universities to have state board licenses or DEA licenses).

Also, is that a state-by-state thing? I'll go look it up. I'm in Oregon but love Montana (lived there for a while) and have some great veterinarian connections in Virginia.
 
That sucks, and I'm sorry it happened.

Here's a bit of tough love for you, though: people fail the NAVLE every year, even people that were good students and studied hard. You don't really talk about how much or how you studied other than to say you got a Zuku subscription and were in a bad place mentally when you took the test. I mean this gently, but if you don't put in the work...you aren't going to get the results. You say, "I'm lazy, and I skip class. But when I mean business, I know I can do it. I've done it before." The NAVLE isn't a test to be crammed for. You need to chip away at Zuku regularly, and you need a plan in place for identifying your weak points and reviewing your notes accordingly.

The world is not over. You are not hopeless. I know it must feel that way right now, but you CAN do it if you make a plan and work your ass off.

As for the immediate future, perhaps @kaydubs can give you some helpful insight.
 
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That sucks, and I'm sorry it happened.

Here's a bit of tough love for you, though: people fail the NAVLE every year, even people that were good students and studied hard. You don't really talk about how much or how you studied other than to say you got a Zuku subscription and were in a bad place mentally when you took the test. I mean this gently, but if you don't put in the work...you aren't going to get the results. You say, "I'm lazy, and I skip class. But when I mean business, I know I can do it. I've done it before." The NAVLE isn't a test to be crammed for. You need to chip away at Zuku regularly, and you need a plan in place for identifying your weak points and reviewing your notes accordingly.

The world is not over. You are not hopeless. I know it must feel that way right now, but you CAN do it if you make a plan and work your ass off.

As for the immediate future, perhaps @kaydubs can give you some helpful insight.

I appreciate your reply, more than you know.

Thoughts on studying and being lazy: I studied hard in the fall, because I was motivated from everyone else freaking out about the NAVLE.
Prime time for the April NAVLE would have been February and March, but after the breakup it took every ounce of willpower just to get out of bed in the morning. That's an excuse, but even knowing back then that I was going to fail because of it, not much would have changed. I was barelly hanging on.
Everyone goes through that at least once (a fact that helped me set one foot in front of the other every morning), but I did NOT study enough. I'd put in 3 hours a week, maybe. So that was definitely a huge pitfall. I suppose it's another lesson--everyone has personal crises, and luckily there are some days that just require you to go from point A to point B, but there are still times when you have to make, build, perform, pass, or otherwise accomplish something demanding despite a devastating personal blow. Someday I hope to be much better at that, because **** happens.

Thanks again :)
 
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I appreciate your reply, more than you know.

Thoughts on studying and being lazy: I studied hard in the fall, because I was motivated from everyone else freaking out about the NAVLE.
Prime time for the April NAVLE would have been February and March, but after the breakup it took every ounce of willpower just to get out of bed in the morning. That's an excuse, but even knowing back then that I was going to fail because of it, not much would have changed. I was barelly hanging on.
Everyone goes through that at least once (a fact that helped me set one foot in front of the other every morning), but I did NOT study enough. I'd put in 3 hours a week, maybe. So that was definitely a huge pitfall. I suppose it's another lesson--everyone has personal crises, and luckily there are some days that just require you to go from point A to point B, but there are still times when you have to make, build, perform, pass, or otherwise accomplish something demanding despite a devastating personal blow. Someday I hope to be much better at that, because **** happens.

Thanks again :)

I completely failed an exam first year of vet school, which resulted in failing the course since that course had only that one exam for the entire year. I knew why I failed, bad personal **** happened and I couldn't bounce back from it. There was nothing I could do to control it. Failing that exam though was like being kicked when I was already down. It ****ing hurt. Granted, it wasn't the NAVLE but it did put me into a position where I was going to need to pass the re-take that summer or I would have to repeat first year. I had already decided I wasn't repeating a year, couldn't afford, didn't want to go through that year again, etc. So after some good self-pity and many tears and really gaining control over my own health, I bucked up and studied my ass off for the repeat. Passed it by 5%, but who the **** cares, I passed it and that was what mattered.

It does seem like the end of the world, especially when you are already down. It isn't the end of the world though. Take a couple moments to be upset about it, because anyone would be. Then like you stated above, you need to start meaning business. You can do it. Get the programs, put in a bit of study time each day and chip away at them. You can do it, but you really do have to prepare for it.
 
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Passing the NAVLE on a subsequent attempt is just as valid as passing on the first try. Don't let people rush you with their timelines. In any group of ~100 people over 4 years, a small number of people will have ****ty things happen to them. Congrats, you're one of them.

Allow yourself to be okay with passing on attempt #3 so you don't put too much emotional pressure on yourself for attempt #2. And maybe reach out to practices you're interested in, and see if they are willing to take interns halfway through the school year. (Particularly, I would also reach out to any island students you know, since they often finish mid-year, and may know of places that start interns halfway through the year.)

And you know what? Your pass will be JUST as valid as your ex's. Keep chipping away - dust off the notes, find some buddies for weekly Vet Board Game sessions, and you'll get there.
 
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Anyway, I could really use some ideas for what to do next advice, perspective... anything.
Hi OP, sorry you're having such a tough time.

I know someone who has a FB support group for those who have NAVLE struggles. it's been really successful and as I understand, has a good sized group from a variety of backgrounds willing to support/advise/share their stories. Unfortunately it's super private so I don't have a link to it, I'd need to connect you to the group admin via FB so you can get added (he made it this way to protect members' privacy for obvious reasons). let me know if you'd like to join and I can help you out.
 
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Im in a similar position. I just failed the April 2018 NAVLE and am waiting to find out if I will lose my matched internship because of it. I can't even tell you how much I empathize with your situation, this is quite literally the worst feeling in the world.

Regardless, I need to write the NAVLE again (for the 3rd time) as well as do the PSA and CPE. I have NO IDEA what any of this entails besides a brief read through of the CPE manual and knowing I need to pass the PSA before starting CPE.
 
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