Need advice on this situation!!! (from a guys perspective)

Discussion in 'Medical Students - MD' started by peach4me, Nov 19, 2005.

  1. peach4me

    peach4me Member
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    Ok, so I'm a 3rd year that was rotating in *** hospital. The second day, (postcall) I was walking down a hall and saw a gorgeous guy who was pushing a bed he was staring (smiling) at me but I just looked down.(Because he made me nervous) It turns out that he's a janitor. Later during the week, I saw him and he wasn't smiling. To make a long story short, I thought OK you should always be nice to everyone in the hospital and I said hello. Eventually, over the course of 2 weeks, I said hi when I saw him etc. Later, I discovered he did something really sweet for a patient in the hospital and I decided I was going to ask him about it. So, (I was reallly nervous when I did this because, I don't know why, he just gives me tachycardia!) 2 days later I saw him outside and decided to get on the elevator with him. I asked him about the patient, he stated that he "like kids" then he got off the elevator. I went back to my floor was talking on my cell phone then he came up behind me and said "excuse me ma'am" I turned around. I didn't really say much.

    Ok, the next day he shows up at my unit all day (all the time I've been there he's never been in that unit before) and starts trying to get my attention (for example, cleaning around my desk etc. and another janitor asked him what he was doing in that unit and he said he wanted to help out ) I just ignored him because I was embarassed to talk to him in front of everyone and besides I had bad cramps and didn't feel like talking. Anyways, the next day I talked to another janitor and he said that guy has a girlfriend who works at that hospital! and he told me a little bit about his family too.

    The next day, the guy shows up in my unit (floor) and looks around but when our eyes meet, he looks off. I guessed he was kinda hurt that I ignored him?


    Well, I saw him around almost everyday and I really think he a extremely nice and generous man. A few weeks later, I saw him and asked if he got any breaks because I wanted to talk to him (to confirm that he does have a girlfriend) He said he didn't get any breaks and that I could page him. I told him that's ok. Then he left. Within 1 minute, he comes back and asks me what was it, I said "that's ok" He comes back 2 more times asking the same thing. Then he said, are you just going to keep a guy wondering. Then as I was walking out the room, I started talking with my friend and he walks up and said he'll come back. After I finished talking with my friend, I left because I felt stupid and there's no way someone can work and not get ANY breaks. Besides, I had to study for my exam, so I said forget him!

    I told another friend about this and she said it sounds like he has a crush on you. I already know I have a crush on him. ( a huge one!) Anyway, I went back to *** hospital to turn in my evaluations 1 week later and as I was getting off the elevator, he said " excuse me ma'am" I turn around and it was him, I sorta looked at him disgusted (a little, from the corner of my eyes because he lied earlier saying he doesn't get any breaks) Then I apologized for leaving the last time and said "something came up". He said thats ok and I started to get a little nervous to the point where he asked me am I ok. I said I'm fine. I was walking away, then I turned back and asked him if he ever figured out what I wanted to talk to him about. He said no. . . and that he'll be back on that floor. You know what? I waited about 3 hours on that floor and he didn't show up. So what's with that? Anyway, a few days later I saw him and he just mocked the way I walk.
    I already knew this wouldn't be going anywhere because he's a janitor and there's no way in hell I'm taking care of a man, but can someone analyze this situation and tell me what's going on in his head? Thanks!
     
  2. njbmd

    njbmd Guest
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    Hi there,
    So he's a janitor. Are you already planning the rest of your life with him? Did he ask you to take care of him? What's wrong with having a good "bud" that you can share a joke with? What if he's working his way through school by being a janitor? Do you have so many friends that you can afford to snub someone because of what they do for a living? He's working! He's not selling drugs!

    He sounds like a nice cordial person that you can share a cup of java with, discuss the game etc. Who knows, you may need his help one day with something and what if he snubs you?

    I always bring some donut holes for the folks who clean my sleep room. Many a cold night, I have found an extra warm comforter on the bed (she even slipped a little stuffed tiger on my pillow one day). Everyone in the hospital has a role and all of us are just humans who need fellowship.

    njbmd :)
     
  3. Simonster

    Simonster Member
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    uh, didn't someone mention that he has a girlfriend? shouldn't that be the bigger issue at the moment?
     
  4. ClearDay

    ClearDay Senior Member
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    I saw that you also posted this question in another forum. I'm sure you have other more important things to worry about than this little mind game.
     
  5. Morb

    Morb Member
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    i just had to say, are you joking? are you sure youre not a 3rd year elementary student?

    if not maybe you could leave a note in his mop bucket, saying he has a secret admirer

    psychologically id say you have two sides, the one that is no way in hell taking care of a man and ostensibly is so focused on medical school that she never developed any social skills and the one that has created this dream relationship with a man she hasnt spoken 4 words to in how many weeks, i hope youre not fantasizing too much about him, because that will make any real world interaction much harder

    id recommend bringing those disparate halves together ala tony curtis in the boston strangler, it wont be easy, and it might put you in a different sort of white coat than you had intended but hey, whos to say which is more worthwhile?

    or maybe you could stop wondering in a vacuum and find out if he is what is known in the vernacular as a "player", if hes really single, maybe the other janitor was trying to have you for himself, either way you have a lot of janitors in your life

    actually its rather an amusing thing to say you dont want to take care of a janitor (your profession is to help people, janitors clean up the mess)

    sounds like you have a lot to think about, i hope you wont take this note too negatively, if you can lighten up a bit relationships might not be so inscrutable
     
  6. lattimer13

    lattimer13 good boy!
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    WTF? from the way you describe your conversations, it sounds like you both are socially ******ed.
     
  7. DarkWingDuck

    DarkWingDuck Senior Member
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    I just laughed so explosively it probably sounded more like a scream. That is so hilarious........and true.
     
  8. Sebastian.

    Sebastian. Member
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  9. fiddler

    fiddler Senior Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I'm wondering if the OP has thought to simply speak with this janitor?!?
    like in a conversation... :confused:

    fiddler
     
  10. OmahaMX80

    OmahaMX80 Senior Member
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    If General Hospital had created a spin-off soap about med students...
     
  11. DrPharaohX

    DrPharaohX Free...your...mind...
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    ...then it would be off the air after the pilot episode - if that even gets off the ground, no pun intended (well, yes, actually, it was, sort of, depends on the weather....wait...what's the topic about again?)

    Hey, social ******s have feelings! Don't make fun! (I still lol'd though)
     
  12. Childe

    Childe Senior Member
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    Ask him to sweep you off your feet
     
  13. inthe4cast

    inthe4cast What's in the 4-cast?
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    Even tho he's a janitor, that doesn't justify treating him any less. You seem to have no idea of his story or his direction, other than your fleeting encounters, and infatuation with his smile. Sounds to me like you're the one playing games. You keep the contact going just as much as he does, and you have heard he has a girl friend, yet you continue to play the field with him, what does that say? Isn't that the real reason you were embarassed when he caught you gawking? Maybe you should sort out what you want/need before you go fishing into other people's lives. :cool:
     
  14. Ross434

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    hahaha
     
  15. Chemguync

    Chemguync Senior Member
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    He's probably thinking "Damn, that bitch is crazy!"
     
  16. UCLAstudent

    UCLAstudent I'm a luck dragon!
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    I think that the OP could have stated her entire post in three sentences and gotten the point across. ;)

    OP, if he has a girlfriend and is flirting with you, doesn't that flash warning lights in your head?
     
  17. UCLAstudent

    UCLAstudent I'm a luck dragon!
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    Don't you know? Emily Quartermaine is a med student. That should suffice. :)
     
  18. tupac_don

    tupac_don Senior Member
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    What's up with playing these silly little games. I'd say either, act real nice around him and friendly, so you give him a hint so he makes his move or make a move yourself. But this game playing is ******ed. And from the sounds of it, you like this guy physically, but you don't seem to interested in pursuing anything more, b/c he is a janitor. Give me a break. You wanna get laid, do it, but don't play these childish games.
     
  19. etudiante04

    etudiante04 phenomenal
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    He may be cute, generous, and helpful . . . and a big waste of your time (not because he's a janitor). I think you two should move on with your lives, since it is so hard for you two to start a real conversation. I have had situations like that when I was much younger, but I got over it after I had a chance to talk to the guy. It seems that most of what you know about him is from other people. Talk to him! After you have a real conversation, you will see that he is just as human as you are.

    He has a girlfriend, that should be enough indication that you guys should be nothing more than just coworkers/acquaintances. But if you two cannot even have a decent conversation, then I think you should put your energies into something/someone else. And, you should give him little indication that you are interested, because, now you know he's "attached," he has relationship leftovers to offer you (SEX) and nothing genuine (ex a real conversaation, time, shared interests, blah blah blah).

    He may be a janitor, but you have no reason to snub him. (Patients/staff probably treat him better than they treat you.)

    You two are on different career tracks; therefore he may be a little vulnerable or insecure around you, and will have trouble initiating conversations with you. As for you, situations like this may be new for you, so you too may have trouble initiating conversation with him. Does he know that you have a crush on him? Does he still have a crush on you? Someone has to make the first move. Tradiaitonally, it would be the guy, but maybe this guy is as socially inept as you seem to be on this thread. So, plan a lunch date with him. What do you have to lose?
     
  20. Law2Doc

    Law2Doc 5K+ Member
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    I agree with this -- skip the janitor and find yourself someone who can teach you the finer points of telling a story. A creative writing instructor perhaps? At any rate, the whole drama is silly -- from a guy's point of view if the dude wanted to get something going with you, he would have busted a move. Men, especially blue collar types, don't play such mind games.
     
  21. NRAI2001

    NRAI2001 3K Member
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    Its mean to say, but a janiotor and a doctor would be quite the odd couple :confused: Kinda like a britanny and kevin federline (is that how you spell his name, and should i even care if i miss spelled it?) deal.
     
  22. MercyKillerDoc

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    Let the janitor see you naked. When he sees you, be sure that he sees all the gash marks on the inside of your thighs where you have cut yourself in the past to prove that you are indeed alive. After that he will likely leave you alone.
     
  23. NRAI2001

    NRAI2001 3K Member
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    Hahahahha, to prove that you are indeed alive, probably somethign many med students wonder hahahaha
     
  24. Quazimodo

    Quazimodo QuasiMedStudent
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    I'm going to be a doctor so people won't dismiss me like a janitor. I got skills.
     
  25. odrade1

    odrade1 UASOM alum
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    This is the best reply I have read all week...
     
  26. Psycho Doctor

    Psycho Doctor *** Angel
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    Hey, you're amazing...what a wonderful thing to do. You're always so thoughtful and people do notice. :thumbup:
     
  27. Mike59

    Mike59 Sweatshop FP in Ontario
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    Didn't I already read this in the ClinicalRotations forum awhile back?

    Gawd, 3 minutes of my life I wish I had back (AGAIN!) :(
     
  28. kingcer0x

    kingcer0x Re-Member
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    Are you hitting the crack pipe? or are you just that ridiculous.
     
  29. Paws

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    Hey guys! why is everyone being so hard on the OP??

    I read her post and felt like I was right there. Why? Because how many times have I been in her same situation. Like a thousand times. I am so used to having crushes, or people sometimes having momentary crushes on me that well, I feel pretty numb to it. 'Oh yea, here it is again,' kind of thing.

    But! this is life and we always have these sorts of feelings for other people and I know for myself, that I will probably always have fleeting crushes on other people. Being a medical student has sometimes intensified this for me to where I find I am sort of dazed and wondering: what would it be like to be married to this plumber, who is fixing my kitchen pipe? I mean, I get tired and over study and begin to feel vulnerable. And, my plumber is pretty cute and funny! ;)

    People ask all sorts of off the wall questions on this forum, and the OP's question was just one of many. No weirder than anyone else's, so I say don't be so harsh to her!
     
  30. ocean11

    ocean11 Senior Member
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    Yeah I agree with Paws....... but honestly, if you like a guy you should GO for him (if you're single that is). But this is the reason some women always get themselves in trouble: 1) HE HAS A GF!!! 2) HE DOSN"T SEEM INTERESTED (have no breaks?!? WTF?!?) 3) if you DON'T want to take care of a man or want a man with more financial stability... why would you even think of going for this guy in the first place?!?

    Now for some serious advice... If you want to get over him seriously...... imagine the guy on the can with a bad case of diarrhea LOL..... there you go...... now move on to the next 'man'.

    THE END!!
     
  31. peach4me

    peach4me Member
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    I'm over him now . . . After he said he didn't get any breaks, I kinda dismissed him and he came back 4 times asking what is it etc. so I thought maybe he really didn't have a clue. Then I see him a week later, says he'll be back on the floor where we were talking but didnt show up :mad: I spoke with a male friend and he said the guy was trying to get back at me for ignoring him in the beginning and doesn't want to look desperate. Oh well. . .

    I just think he's full of **** and I don't want to deal with that. . . I've got other things to worry about, like these shelf exams. Later!

     
  32. YouDontKnowJack

    YouDontKnowJack I no something you don't
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    man...... that was an excruciating read.

    i sorta laughed because i thought this couldn't be serious.


    well actually, i laughed at the janitor part. sorry.

    the stars weren't aligned on this one, or however that cliche goes....
     
  33. Chemguync

    Chemguync Senior Member
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    That's what she said..
     
  34. ucsb101

    ucsb101 Senior Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
  35. jbone

    jbone Herro!
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    What's wrong with taking care of your man???? WTF???? We need love too! :( Or must it always be the other way around?? Let me get this right: Man takes care of women= :) Women takes care of man= :mad: :eek:
    I'm lost...
     
  36. jbone

    jbone Herro!
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    That gets my vote!!
     
  37. azzarah

    azzarah sleepy!
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  38. mjl1717

    mjl1717 Senior Member
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    I agree with this!! [Not everyone does well socially, something I found out later in life.] One more thing -He's not even playing the male role as a direct or definitive aggressor capable of at least average communication!!
     
  39. mjl1717

    mjl1717 Senior Member
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    I agree with this also
     
  40. peach4me

    peach4me Member
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    I'm not ******ed (socially) and he isn't either, just shy!
     
  41. Tiki

    Tiki Girl named after a Giant
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    I think because most men don't want their woman taking care of them. Makes them feel unmanly.

    I've noticed that when I date guys who don't at least have a college degree, they tend to act wierd about the medical school thing.
     
  42. YouDontKnowJack

    YouDontKnowJack I no something you don't
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    there's nothing wrong with being a giggolo
     
  43. mjl1717

    mjl1717 Senior Member
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    Ill repeat this since its important.
    Not everyone does well socially, whether its because of being shy, being nervous, living a "sheltered" middle class or high class life, being insecure, poor communication, etc.
    1) A man supposedly still being the aggressor MUST know how to do a least average communication no excuse!
    2) At least half the guys I know would not complain about being a kept man!
    3)As implied above the guy being the main breadwinner does not guarantee happiness. I say whatever creates happiness. Forget about the manliness.
    as long as the guy doesnt feel insecure. I rest my case.
     
  44. PiccoloPlaya

    PiccoloPlaya Membership Revoked
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    So what's the big deal. People get attracted to the one person they can't have every now and then. We're all human ya know. Hey, at least she doesn't have a thing for a classmate. Trust me, I know from experience.

    Becoming attracted to a classmate in med school = BAD NEWS :eek:

    Plus, guys claim they like it when girls ask them out and are the aggressor; in actuality they don't like easy prey. I'm not one for the rules, but I can say be yourself and have high standards. If you're gonna bang a janitor, he'd better be hot :D
     
  45. PiccoloPlaya

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    And yes, there's nothing wrong with being a gigolo (sp?) ... unless you're a doctor, of course ... and even then ... perhaps not.
     
  46. NRAI2001

    NRAI2001 3K Member
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    Giggo who?


    Gigolo rhymes with piccolo ha ha :laugh:
     
  47. PiccoloPlaya

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  48. PiccoloPlaya

    PiccoloPlaya Membership Revoked
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    Woohoo! 500+ posts! Just yesterday I was at like 300 something. It's amazing what the sausage-fest...I mean the Lounge...can do.
     
  49. PiccoloPlaya

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    Hey guys. If you have diarrhea, vomiting and your period, does the alkalosis and acidosis cancel each other out so you can achieve homeostasis?
     
  50. Shangal

    Shangal Senior Member
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    I wonder if this girl is serious. I mean first she talks about how dreamy this guy is and then she calls him a janitor in a deragatory way. She sounds unstable.
    Anyways, I wonder why a young smart guy will be a janitor in the first place.
     

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