Need to vent... extremely depressed this term. Don't want to quit MSTP dream, but will I handle it?

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Alaxandra

Account on Hold
Account on Hold
Nov 27, 2013
16
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Pre-Medical
This whole entire quarter I've been extremely depressed. Finals week is next week. I am taking only 10 credits (physics and biology with labs, meaning I spend a total of 14 hours in school instead of 10), and I am on my way to get solid B's in those two classes. Maybe even a B- in biology. This means my GPA will be around a 3.0 or less this term. The honors program requires a 3.25 gpa each term, so they might kick me out. Bye bye senior research thesis.

I am a transfer student, and my total college gpa is 3.58 with 102 credit hours. So obviously, this term isn't going to make it better. My dream was MSTP. And now I'm thinking, I can't handle this. I'd love to continue on this path, but I mean come on, is it even realistic for me at this point? I am also a "sophomore", as in, I'm gonna take 3 more years to graduate, but taking a light load of classes. maybe 10-14 credits a term. When I will take ochem next year, I will definitely not increase 10 credits, because I am too stupid to pass it (a.k.a. SDN terms of "passing"=getting an A in it).

I am too depressed because I can't handle extracurricular activities while I am going to school. I can only handle maybe part time work 10 hours a week, and part-time research 5-8 hours a week., Maybe shadowing 2 hours a week. I have no clinical volunteering whatsoever. I have no any kind of volunteering whatsoever because I don't have time to sacrifice, and I don't have a gpa that I could sacrifice for "working for free". I have no leadership experience whatsoever.

I can barely even manage this term! (My first term at a 4 year university, the 102 credits came from community college program that I did while in high school. I am stupid).

And the reason my grades are completely screwed up this term is because I originally had 16 credits with ochem and ochem lab, which was a total of 22 hours spending at school. It was too much, I failed my ochem exam a while ago, so withdrew from the class and lab.

I feel extremely stupid. Like, what is my IQ, 80 or something? I failed my last physics exam, but that's okay because the exams are a small portion of the grade, so I will probably get a B in the class. On my biology exams, I keep getting C-. But I might have a B because of a little extra credit points and lab. Or maybe a B- if I get another C- on the final. Some of my biology classmates are like "I don't study at all for this class and get B+ on all the exams cuz they're just so easy and common sense"... I'm like WHAT! Am I really this stupid. I mean, I try to memorize every single sentence from the slides, but there are like 40 slides per chapter, (the teacher tests on the slides), and like 6 chapters per test, and each slide have like at least 7 sentences packed into them about some weird mechanisms and little details which no matter how hard I try to stuff that all into my head, it just slips away come test time.

I feel like I am the stupidest person of all time. I can't handle 20 hours of EC's a week in addition to taking 3/4 time classes, without getting a less than a 4.0 GPA.

Why am I so stupid? Am I just not meant for MSTP?

I was also depressed this entire term because I only have 3 EC's, and they are not outstanding, and if I even tried getting more EC's, well I better not take ANY classes then WHATSOEVER otherwise I will fail all of my classes. I am stupid and the average joe who will probably get a bio degree, and work as a lab tech making 40k a year for the rest of my life, never have any children, be miserable all my life and hate it forever.
 

talinnlove

Correspondence PhD in Everythingology
May 22, 2013
329
72
The library
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Medical Student
Agreed with gyngyn above - see a student mental health counselor as soon as you can. To assuage some of your academic worries, try to make an appointment with an academic advisor as well. For instance, at my university, you couldn't lose your position in honors in one term. If you fell below the GPA requirement, you were put on probation, and had another term to bring it up again. Your honors designation and senior thesis may not be riding on this term; it would be worth it to talk to an advisor to alleviate some stress in tandem with talking to a mental health counselor.

Good luck, be well.
 

masaraksh

7+ Year Member
Sep 12, 2011
1,791
2,148
Northeast
Status
Medical Student
Definitely see a counselor (like above posters said). But, yeah, not everyone is meant for MSTP. I know it sounds harsh but do you really think you'd be able to handle an MSTP program if you're struggling on a 2/3 normal course load (10 credits vs. normal 15 per semester based on 120 total over 4 years)? Even so, the programs are really competitive and you're going to be competing against some darn strong applicants.
 

khrisskhoras

5+ Year Member
Apr 24, 2013
712
227
Status
Pre-Medical
This whole entire quarter I've been extremely depressed. Finals week is next week. I am taking only 10 credits (physics and biology with labs, meaning I spend a total of 14 hours in school instead of 10), and I am on my way to get solid B's in those two classes. Maybe even a B- in biology. This means my GPA will be around a 3.0 or less this term. The honors program requires a 3.25 gpa each term, so they might kick me out. Bye bye senior research thesis.

I am a transfer student, and my total college gpa is 3.58 with 102 credit hours. So obviously, this term isn't going to make it better. My dream was MSTP. And now I'm thinking, I can't handle this. I'd love to continue on this path, but I mean come on, is it even realistic for me at this point? I am also a "sophomore", as in, I'm gonna take 3 more years to graduate, but taking a light load of classes. maybe 10-14 credits a term. When I will take ochem next year, I will definitely not increase 10 credits, because I am too stupid to pass it (a.k.a. SDN terms of "passing"=getting an A in it).

I am too depressed because I can't handle extracurricular activities while I am going to school. I can only handle maybe part time work 10 hours a week, and part-time research 5-8 hours a week., Maybe shadowing 2 hours a week. I have no clinical volunteering whatsoever. I have no any kind of volunteering whatsoever because I don't have time to sacrifice, and I don't have a gpa that I could sacrifice for "working for free". I have no leadership experience whatsoever.

I can barely even manage this term! (My first term at a 4 year university, the 102 credits came from community college program that I did while in high school. I am stupid).

And the reason my grades are completely screwed up this term is because I originally had 16 credits with ochem and ochem lab, which was a total of 22 hours spending at school. It was too much, I failed my ochem exam a while ago, so withdrew from the class and lab.

I feel extremely stupid. Like, what is my IQ, 80 or something? I failed my last physics exam, but that's okay because the exams are a small portion of the grade, so I will probably get a B in the class. On my biology exams, I keep getting C-. But I might have a B because of a little extra credit points and lab. Or maybe a B- if I get another C- on the final. Some of my biology classmates are like "I don't study at all for this class and get B+ on all the exams cuz they're just so easy and common sense"... I'm like WHAT! Am I really this stupid. I mean, I try to memorize every single sentence from the slides, but there are like 40 slides per chapter, (the teacher tests on the slides), and like 6 chapters per test, and each slide have like at least 7 sentences packed into them about some weird mechanisms and little details which no matter how hard I try to stuff that all into my head, it just slips away come test time.

I feel like I am the stupidest person of all time. I can't handle 20 hours of EC's a week in addition to taking 3/4 time classes, without getting a less than a 4.0 GPA.

Why am I so stupid? Am I just not meant for MSTP?

I was also depressed this entire term because I only have 3 EC's, and they are not outstanding, and if I even tried getting more EC's, well I better not take ANY classes then WHATSOEVER otherwise I will fail all of my classes. I am stupid and the average joe who will probably get a bio degree, and work as a lab tech making 40k a year for the rest of my life, never have any children, be miserable all my life and hate it forever.
*sniff sniff*...TROLL!
 

LaserPrinter

Proud Quitter
Feb 28, 2011
28
0
Status
Non-Student
Do what I did and talk to somebody. It might be frustrating and anxiety-proving, but it's the best thing for you to do.
 
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