Nervous about the life implications of medical school.

[Rogan]

Warning: wall of text.

I am starting a DO program in a few months. I made the decision to pursue medicine about two years ago, so this is a culmination of what I've been working towards for some time. Unfortunately now that it is a reality, I grow increasingly nervous about it every day. Before, it was more of an abstract thing and I didn't know if it would happen or not. I am not nervous about how difficult it will be, but instead extremely worried about what it means for the way my the rest of my life will play out. I feel like I am letting go of the wheel and letting someone else take control. For the next decade, I will go where (and do what) I'm told and this fact is inherently nerve-wracking to me especially since I realize that my desires and needs can change drastically in that amount of time.

I will be honest and say that this all started when I started studying Spanish over the winter. After applying, I felt that I could use some of my free time right now to make myself a better health care provider. I chose to learn foreign language that would be especially useful for my future. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it awakened something in me that had been sleeping. I have become fascinated with Spanish for the past 5 months- to the point where I packed my bags a few weeks ago, put in a last minute vacation request a work, and flew there. Now, all I can think about is wanting to move there and practice medicine there (already checked international practice rights, not possible for DOs).

While I would love to live in Spain, the issue itself taps into the much larger fear within me- that I will spend the next decade (and life) being shuttled around instead of having the freedom that I have grown used to. I don't know what interests I will have the rest of my life but it seems now that when you choose medicine you're "locked" in because of the debt and other aspects. It's the aspect of medicine that I didn't consider as much when I decided that my passion was finding a career in health care. 1) Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this sort of fear? 2) If there are any experiences physicians that have followed their careers around the globe, I would love to hear your stories.

Thanks for any advice!

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[dozitgetchahi]

Warning: wall of text.

I am starting a DO program in a few months. I made the decision to pursue medicine about two years ago, so this is a culmination of what I've been working towards for some time. Unfortunately now that it is a reality, I grow increasingly nervous about it every day. Before, it was more of an abstract thing and I didn't know if it would happen or not. I am not nervous about how difficult it will be, but instead extremely worried about what it means for the way my the rest of my life will play out. I feel like I am letting go of the wheel and letting someone else take control. For the next decade, I will go where (and do what) I'm told and this fact is inherently nerve-wracking to me especially since I realize that my desires and needs can change drastically in that amount of time.

I will be honest and say that this all started when I started studying Spanish over the winter. After applying, I felt that I could use some of my free time right now to make myself a better health care provider. I chose to learn foreign language that would be especially useful for my future. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it awakened something in me that had been sleeping. I have become fascinated with Spanish for the past 5 months- to the point where I packed my bags a few weeks ago, put in a last minute vacation request a work, and flew there. Now, all I can think about is wanting to move there and practice medicine there (already checked international practice rights, not possible for DOs).

While I would love to live in Spain, the issue itself taps into the much larger fear within me- that I will spend the next decade (and life) being shuttled around instead of having the freedom that I have grown used to. I don't know what interests I will have the rest of my life but it seems now that when you choose medicine you're "locked" in because of the debt and other aspects. It's the aspect of medicine that I didn't consider as much when I decided that my passion was finding a career in health care. 1) Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this sort of fear? 2) If there are any experiences physicians that have followed their careers around the globe, I would love to hear your stories.

Thanks for any advice!

In before everyone else. Third year IM resident here.

I'l be blunt and say that yes...what you fear is essentially going to happen. You will have a bit of input in the process - you'll get some degree of choice with regards to which med schools to apply to, which specialty to go into, and where you match for residency. There will be much, however, that is fairly out of your hands. You may find yourself going to whichever medical school happened to be the only one to take you, even if it's on the other side of the country. You may not match were you want to be geographically, and you may not get the specialty you want either. You will be busy as all hell during the medical school and residency/fellowship years, and this will greatly limit the amount of overall freedom you have. People have varying degrees of tolerance for all of this. Most of us feel it's relatively tolerable for the purpose of training for the career we've dreamed of, but by the end of the process many of us have gotten really sick of it (ask anyone in my graduating class!)

However, I will say that the one thing I thirst for more than anything else at this point is a sense of control over my life. I feel like I haven't had that since some time in early college. I have two kids and a wife who have been living >300mi away during residency (thanks Match!), and that problem is finally only now getting rectified when I go back to that town for fellowship in July. I don't want to have to work the godawfully bad hours of residency (whilst being paid a pittance to do so) anymore. I want to be able to choose where, how, and when I work. Most of my friends in other fields have been enjoying these privileges for years. I'm only now starting to get a taste of it.

So yes, the 'where shall I wander' sense of freedom you've been enjoying is going to largely evaporate when you start this process. Only you can decide if it's worth it.

 

[Rogan]

In before everyone else. Third year IM resident here.

I'l be blunt and say that yes...what you fear is essentially going to happen. You will have a bit of input in the process - you'll get some degree of choice with regards to which med schools to apply to, which specialty to go into, and where you match for residency. There will be much, however, that is fairly out of your hands. You may find yourself going to whichever medical school happened to be the only one to take you, even if it's on the other side of the country. You may not match were you want to be geographically, and you may not get the specialty you want either. You will be busy as all hell during the medical school and residency/fellowship years, and this will greatly limit the amount of overall freedom you have. People have varying degrees of tolerance for all of this. Most of us feel it's relatively tolerable for the purpose of training for the career we've dreamed of, but by the end of the process many of us have gotten really sick of it (ask anyone in my graduating class!)

However, I will say that the one thing I thirst for more than anything else at this point is a sense of control over my life. I feel like I haven't had that since some time in early college. I have two kids and a wife who have been living >300mi away during residency (thanks Match!), and that problem is finally only now getting rectified when I go back to that town for fellowship in July. I don't want to have to work the godawfully bad hours of residency (whilst being paid a pittance to do so) anymore. I want to be able to choose where, how, and when I work. Most of my friends in other fields have been enjoying these privileges for years. I'm only now starting to get a taste of it.

So yes, the 'where shall I wander' sense of freedom you've been enjoying is going to largely evaporate when you start this process. Only you can decide if it's worth it.

Thanks for your honest response. This was very well written and more feedback than I expected to get back from this question. I am really glad that you are able to finally be with your family. I can't/don't want to imagine that reality, my life complaints are pretty superficial compared to not being with loved ones. I hope that your career continues to allow you to be with them. I think you're absolutely right about deciding if it's worth it, right now it's my dream profession but how many other dreams do you sacrifice for the gain of one? Honestly, it's not like I can't picture myself doing other professions, it's just that this is the one that I've wanted the most and the direction my life has gradually shifted towards over the years. At this point, I don't know if I could ever forgive myself if I didn't at least try to make it happen. Would you go back and do anything differently? Would you have a different strategy for tackling match, or would you even choose to go to med school?

 

[costales]

Now, all I can think about is wanting to move there and practice medicine there

Bad idea. Spanish doctors are emigrating in droves to avoid low wages and unemployment. The chart below was compiled by a group of European doctors.

Data shown are monthly national average salaries (red line) vs. min and max doctor salaries (vertical range), 1 EUR = 1.11 USD; purchasing power parities (PPPs) are indicators of price level differences across countries i.e. how many currency units a particular quantity of goods and services costs in different countries. BTW Look at Hungary, Greece, and the Czech Republic.

 

[Goro]

Relax. All new endeavors are fraught with anxiety. I was plenty nervous when I left home and headed to grad school.

Go volunteer some with patients; they'll remind why you're doing this.

Warning: wall of text.

I am starting a DO program in a few months. I made the decision to pursue medicine about two years ago, so this is a culmination of what I've been working towards for some time. Unfortunately now that it is a reality, I grow increasingly nervous about it every day. Before, it was more of an abstract thing and I didn't know if it would happen or not. I am not nervous about how difficult it will be, but instead extremely worried about what it means for the way my the rest of my life will play out. I feel like I am letting go of the wheel and letting someone else take control. For the next decade, I will go where (and do what) I'm told and this fact is inherently nerve-wracking to me especially since I realize that my desires and needs can change drastically in that amount of time.

I will be honest and say that this all started when I started studying Spanish over the winter. After applying, I felt that I could use some of my free time right now to make myself a better health care provider. I chose to learn foreign language that would be especially useful for my future. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it awakened something in me that had been sleeping. I have become fascinated with Spanish for the past 5 months- to the point where I packed my bags a few weeks ago, put in a last minute vacation request a work, and flew there. Now, all I can think about is wanting to move there and practice medicine there (already checked international practice rights, not possible for DOs).

While I would love to live in Spain, the issue itself taps into the much larger fear within me- that I will spend the next decade (and life) being shuttled around instead of having the freedom that I have grown used to. I don't know what interests I will have the rest of my life but it seems now that when you choose medicine you're "locked" in because of the debt and other aspects. It's the aspect of medicine that I didn't consider as much when I decided that my passion was finding a career in health care. 1) Does anyone have any advice for dealing with this sort of fear? 2) If there are any experiences physicians that have followed their careers around the globe, I would love to hear your stories.

Thanks for any advice!