Thanks, Virus. You get a cupcake, too.
I smiled at Dr. Bear as I was leaving and said "you should get used to seeing me, 'cause I'll keep coming back until I get in". I know it is a valid concern for them considering many, if not most, of them have put off having a family to focus on their medical career, and if they do have kids in med school they found it extremely challenging. But what they are REALLY saying, whether they realize it or not, is NOT, "OMG! You have NINE kids? Nine? NINE? I don't think you can do this." What they are really saying is "OMG! I couldn't do it with nine kids, so you obviously can't." It is just so frustrating that people project their ideas of what they think they can or cannot do on to me when it is these people who decide whether or not I get to do what I want to do (otherwise I wouldn't give a flying f**k what anyone thinks of me.)
But my case is different. First of all, I'm Wonder Woman.
Of course I can do it. And fight crime and bake cupcakes in my spare time.
Second of all, I came from a large family myself and this is normal for me.
Third, it's not like I'm like the Jon and Kate plus 8 family--most of my kids are older and self-sufficient, with a wide range in their ages. I've taught the ones in school how to cook, clean, do laundry and chores, and the older ones help to occupy the babies' attention while I attend to whatever I need to do. AND my "babies" are 2 and 3, and they are already on their way to independence. I'm not shackled by the needs of an infant. I have plenty of time to sit and play or talk with my kids b/c we work as a team to get things done. I'm not a crazy lady yelling and screaming and pulling my hair out, or crying as I down my sixth shot of tequila.
Fourth, the fact that I am older, I have seen what the big, bad world is all about--I'm not a young, starry-eyed idealist who thinks I'm gonna change the world, only to have my perception of reality shattered when confronted by the unpleasantries of life. I am no longer shielded by the optimism of youth. I know that in every situation in life there will be times when I'll have to do things that I really don't want to do because they need doing. I'm not going to fall apart and have my belief in myself shaken when someone throws up on me, or when I get yelled at by a medical assistant for doing what I was told to do, or when I can't go out and have fun because I have to stay behind and fill out a ton of paperwork, or when I'm tired as hell because I haven't had a decent night's sleep in 9 months, or when I'm told to dig impacted **** out of some pervy old man's ass. Been there, done that. (Okay, maybe not digging impacted **** out of a pervy old man's ass, but I have cleaned up a pervy old man's #2 mess. But I digress.)
I'll be coming into this already knowing how to balance my family's needs with my other obligations. I know who I am, what my strengths are, and what my limitations are. I know that there will be MANY times when it seems like despite all my best efforts, nothing seems to make a difference. And this will not shake my foundational belief in who I am, or drive me to depression, or cause me to quit. In my opinion, it is the intangibles like this that make people in the medical field burn out. I know all this, but the question is how do I convey to the admissions committee that these issues that they see as a liability are actually one of my biggest strengths?
I don't know. All I do know is that the more people tell me (or even "gently suggest to me") that I can't manage medical school and my tribe, the more determined I am to prove them wrong.
Whew. I feel better for venting. Thanks, guys, for all the encouragement. SDN is cheaper than therapy! I'm going to go eat a cupcake now.