New words I learned from my patients...

[wareagle726]

It's always interesting to me how a slight misunderstanding of complex(or not really) medical terminology can take on a whole new name. Thought it would be a good thread to share some experiences and "de-code" some vernacular.

Had a patient last week complaining that her brother said he thought she had "scripto." I said I don't know what that is and she replied "you don't believe in scripto? Like when you drink after someone else and your throat gets sore." Scripto = Strep throat

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[Angry Birds]

Well, I invented the word "spling" -- for splint and sling.

 

[southerndoc]

Well, I invented the word "spling" -- for splint and sling.

Is a bilateral splint and sling a spling spling?

 

[Brawndo2016]

I used "edemity" today to describe extremity edema to an EM doc I am precepting with. Who knows, it might actually stick.

 

[turkeyjerky]

I used "edemity" today to describe extremity edema to an EM doc I am precepting with. Who knows, it might actually stick.

I like--for when there's more edema than normal issue.

I need a word for those old lady fat arms and legs where it looks like there's a bunch of edema, but there's actually just a lot of subq fat

 

[RustedFox]

I like--for when there's more edema than normal issue.

I need a word for those old lady fat arms and legs where it looks like there's a bunch of edema, but there's actually just a lot of subq fat

Lipodystrophy?

I know precisely what you're talking about. My average patient is a 74 year old female who is completely deconditioned, yet proclaims that she's "all swoll up!"

 

[GeneralVeers]

"A minute" as used to describe an indeterminate period of time.

Me: "When did your pain start?"
Patient: "It's been there a minute"
Me: "So your pain started after you arrived, and checked in?"

 

[RustedFox]

Just heard this one: "Fibermyalgia".

 

[Tenk]

Just heard this one: "Fibermyalgia".

That’s the pain in your colon when you eat a fiber one bar

 

[sfwtboy]

My favorite was when speaking in spanish with a patient about their medications and they told me to that they take viv-va-por-ru each night. As a medical student I spent easily 30 minutes trying to look up what this weird drug was so we could restart her home medications. Turns out viv-va-por-ru = Vic's Vapor Rub.

 

[CajunMedic]

I learned a new nursery rhyme: "Old McDonald's Had a Farm", I wanted to sing "with a Big Mac here, and a Big Mac there..."
Same pt's mother told me her child was "crynin"- Crying

 

[1911OMS2]

“Enlarged prostrate” and “pop smear”

 

[Raryn]

"A minute" as used to describe an indeterminate period of time.

Me: "When did your pain start?"
Patient: "It's been there a minute"
Me: "So your pain started after you arrived, and checked in?"

At least in my part of the country, that's a cultural phenomenon, typically amongst African Americans. "A minute" means "a while".

 

[deleted547339]

“Enlarged prostrate” and “pop smear”

Pop smear?

My least favorite is an adult referring to their feces as “boo boo.”

 

[GeneralVeers]

At least in my part of the country, that's a cultural phenomenon, typically amongst African Americans. "A minute" means "a while".

I know but sometimes I like to have fun with people and get them to explain their bizarre descriptions of things.

 

[wareagle726]

My least favorite is an adult referring to their feces as “boo boo.”

I'm from the deep south but apparently this isn't a thing back home. Just learned what this meant a few weeks ago. 30yo female said "I gots blood in my boo boo" while waving hand above her genitals. I just thought that's what she called it so I proceeded to get ready for a pelvic exam. Thankfully a nurse interpreted for me lol.

 

[chrystal0120]

“Got The diver”

Referring to their diverticulitis....


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[Angry Birds]

I've said this one before, but I had a 15 year old patient who said "huh!?" when I asked her if she felt nauseated or had vomited. She looked to her mom, who helpfully explained: "Do you feel pukey pukey?" And then the girl understood.

Amazing. Fifteen years old with that level of vocabulary. My niece knew those two words at like four years old.

 

[wjs010]

Castrologist= gastroenterologist.


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[Birdstrike]

I got 'fireballs' equals "I got fibroids"

 

[gutonc]

But every single one of them can pronounce fibromyalgia like they’re a Hollywood diction coach.

 

[Raryn]

Just heard this one: "Fibermyalgia".

But every single one of them can pronounce fibromyalgia like they’re a Hollywood diction coach.

Thread not clear. Which is the one I should be prescribing opiates for?

 

[wareagle726]

Had this one today. Pt reported an allergy to "IV potion." IV potion = ibuprofen

 

[sah]

I was sick with the "screaming mighty Jesus"
(spinal meningitis )

 

[TooMuchResearch]

Thread not clear. Which is the one I should be prescribing opiates for?

Any and all.

 

[USCDiver]

I invented a word the other day, “Are you vomiting or diarrhearing?”

The nurse had to duck behind the bed to stifle a laugh. The patient knew what I meant.

 

[BBEM12]

"I had a sinkable episode"

 

[OnlyOneZlatan]

"I done fell out" - syncopized

 

[DocEspana]

I like--for when there's more edema than normal issue.

I need a word for those old lady fat arms and legs where it looks like there's a bunch of edema, but there's actually just a lot of subq fat

Wings

 

[DocEspana]

At least in my part of the country, that's a cultural phenomenon, typically amongst African Americans. "A minute" means "a while".

A minute can mean 60 seconds. An hour. A day. A week. Two months.

Above two months its "a damn long time"

 

[DocEspana]

New to me is the fact that people use the word 'knot' when they mean abscess. To me knot is thread tied up or a focal area of dense muscle tissue.

Down here its scalp hematomas, which i had at least heard of, and any abscess anywhere. Which. No. Was not aware this was acceptable terminology.

 

[DocEspana]

When i was an intern i had m senior sign this out.

"X year old male complaing of very close veins. What he has is varicose veins, but he is not receptive to this. He asked me if i was trying to trick him when i corrected him. He says he knows what he has. He went to a doctor who told him his veins were <snickers> very close. <snickers again> he has very close veins."

 

[Brorthopedic]

Just heard this one: "Fibermyalgia".

"I had a sinkable episode"

These are the winners.

 

[deleted720339]

All variations of a patient trying to pronounce the word metoprolol.

Not a new word, per say, but gets me every time.

 

[RustedFox]

All variations of a patient trying to pronounce the word metoprolol.

Not a new word, per say, but gets me every time.

This. All day long.

Muh-TOE-pro-Lol.

Its not hard, people.

 

[gleegum]

"disintegrative disc disease" = degenerative.

Sounds painful though.

 

[slatermd]

Vomicking

 

[Apollyon]

Vomicking

That's through the nose. VomiTIng is from the mouth, only.

 

[eatkalteenbars]

A little old Orthodox Jewish lady kept telling me she needed an autopsy, which was confusing on multiple levels because she wasn't particuarly close to death and my understanding was that autopsies are usually verboten in Judaism. Turns out she meant "biopsy."

 

[Vivienne]

Fish tail = fistula

 

[NRAI2001]

He's got the "old-timers disease"... ie Alzheimers..

 

[austintr]

I like--for when there's more edema than normal issue.

I need a word for those old lady fat arms and legs where it looks like there's a bunch of edema, but there's actually just a lot of subq fat

I used to work with a universally not-well-liked charge nurse in the ED that had gastric bypass and was consequently about 110lbs with ridiculous flappy arms. We used to refer to her as the flying squirrel. When she went on a tirade over something she looked like she was just gliding around the ED looking for things. So it was fitting.

 

[GorillaPanic]

I used to work with a universally not-well-liked charge nurse in the ED that had gastric bypass and was consequently about 110lbs with ridiculous flappy arms. We used to refer to her as the flying squirrel. When she went on a tirade over something she looked like she was just gliding around the ED looking for things. So it was fitting.

Body shaming a person because they’re disliked, cool bro!

 

[austintr]

Body shaming a person because they’re disliked, cool bro!

 

[engineeredout]

When I first started residency in Philly, had a patient say to me "I done fell out". I looked at her for several seconds and then asked "um, fell out of what?". Another few seconds of silence followed by "I just fell out".

Apparently "Done Fell Out" aka DFO = passed out.

 

[gleegum]

Kinda can't believe no one's mentioned "reptile dysfunction" yet.

The first time I heard that was the most trouble I've ever had keeping a straight face in an exam room.

 

[RustedFox]

Metalforeman (Metformin)

 

[SpartanDOnoharm]

"I have an issue with my pocketbook"

 

[MechEDoc]

Schizodeffective... The more I thought about, the more accurate I realized it was. Never had truer words been spoken from an edentulous mouth.