I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know that feeling of being torn between having a personal life and a professional life. First off, I totally agree with Max - up to this point I've had some good relationships but nothing "forever" worthy. I think that we're more likely to meet people we really connect with that have similar passions to us in this field. I've found that it is very hard for many people to empathize with what we go through in this industry, which can lead to problems in a relationship (just generalizing, I know lots of people have SOs and spouses in other fields, this is just from my personal experience!).
However, at this point, I've decided to just focus on my career and my relationship with myself. I feel that I won't be able to be happy with someone else until I am happy with myself and where I am in life. I gave up an almost 4-year relationship that everyone thought was going to end in marriage to go back to school. It completely blindsided everyone, including our friends and family. He wasn't a bad person, its just that I was motivated to grow and change while he was complacent to stay where he was forever. Additionally, he wasn't supportive of my decision to go back to school and would get upset when I'd choose schoolwork over spending time with him. I felt like he was holding me back, so I let him go. I don't think I would have been able to get the experiences I have if I had remained in that relationship. I have never for a second regretted my decision.
I'm one of those people who will ALWAYS put my work before a partner or family. This 100% isn't healthy, but I've always been this way, ever since my first job when I was 17. Currently I am not looking to date and am not open to a relationship because I know I am not capable of being able to nurture a career and a relationship at the same time. I've never been good at finding that balance. Hopefully I'll be surprised and I'll meet someone wonderful, however my pessimistic views on relationships and love are telling me this probably won't happen. I know my views are very different than many people here, I've said it before - I have so much respect for people who can have a family and do this. I just unfortunately don't have a desire to do this at this current time, at least not until I'm happy with myself.