None of my friends want to study with me.

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BeatrixKiddo

Why?! I'm not annoying or weird. Why doesn't anyone want to study with me?! I purposely picked classes in which I knew at least 2 people and they're all like oh I just want to study alone at home or oh I have to study for so-and-so's class. :(
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I'm like alone in the freakin' library and this weird stalkerish guy keeps smiling at me and everyone who walks by. What's he so happy about anyway.
 
Their reasons seem valid to me. Why do you need people to study with? I, personally, can only study alone, anyone else is a nuisance(sp? I think I'm missing an "s," but I'm not sure).
 
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Many people see studying as a solitary activity, myself included. It's nothing personal when I tell someone I can't study with them.

Besides, most libraries at colleges have private carrels you can go into, so you don't have to be distracted by other people.
 
srizvi said:
Their reasons seem valid to me. Why do you need people to study with? I, personally, can only study alone, anyone else is a nuisance(sp? I think I'm missing an "s," but I'm not sure).
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Because I don't understand some of the concepts and usually talking it out helps me. I guess it can be a nuisance if the other person is too stubborn about what is important or what isn't or if they're too slow.
 
BeatrixKiddo said:
Because I don't understand some of the concepts and usually talking it out helps me. I guess it can be a nuisance if the other person is too stubborn about what is important or what isn't or if they're too slow.
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Talk to yourself. Why do you need to bug someone else?? Personally, if I'm going to play tutor to someone else I better get paid...otherwise, my schedule's already busy enough.
 
baylormed said:
Talk to yourself. Why do you need to bug someone else?? Personally, if I'm going to play tutor to someone else I better get paid...otherwise, my schedule's already busy enough.
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I don't need a tutor really.

I mean I always see business majors studying together but medical.. not so much.
 
I don't like studying with people. The only people that ask me to study with them are ones that I end up teaching the material to. It helps me to teach it but after a while it becomes a bit annoying. A couple of times I have found people to study with who sit quietly and occassionally we will ask a question if we really need it, but thats it.
 
imho fwiw being a premed at a big fat research university is substantially LESS supportive and LESS collaborative than working in a cutthroat competitive Achilles-slashing high tech industry.

In industry my peers would compete for who worked the MOST hours and keep a time log on their whiteboard with "don't erase" in addition to, you know, the usual backstabbing manipulative clever-as-a-fox political moves to own the sweetest pieces of the workload pie, plus framed diplomas from Ivy League schools next to the snowboard hung on office walls, and snide harsh rude abrupt remarks ALL THE TIME. But on average my peers would give me the time of day, and work WITH me on occasion.

I never would have thought I'd miss industry for its collaborative supportive atmostphere. Mind boggling.
 
TPROrgoTutor2 said:
I don't like studying with people. The only people that ask me to study with them are ones that I end up teaching the material to. It helps me to teach it but after a while it becomes a bit annoying. A couple of times I have found people to study with who sit quietly and occassionally we will ask a question if we really need it, but thats it.
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I think I would be fine with that too, just studying on my own but asking questions now and then. But most of these friends I've never studied with so that can't be the reason they wouldn't want to study.

DrMidlife said:
imho fwiw being a premed at a big fat research university is substantially LESS supportive and LESS collaborative than working in a cutthroat competitive Achilles-slashing high tech industry.

In industry my peers would compete for who worked the MOST hours and keep a time log on their whiteboard with "don't erase" in addition to, you know, the usual backstabbing manipulative clever-as-a-fox political moves to own the sweetest pieces of the workload pie, plus framed diplomas from Ivy League schools next to the snowboard hung on office walls, and snide harsh rude abrupt remarks ALL THE TIME. But on average my peers would give me the time of day, and work WITH me on occasion.

I never would have thought I'd miss industry for its collaborative supportive atmostphere. Mind boggling.
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And I have no idea what you just said.
 
In my school we're graded on a curve, with only like 8% of the class getting the A (and huge number getting the stupid B). I really don't like studying with others either. I come up with cool concepts in my head and would like to keep them to myself because of the curve, but whenever I do end up studying with others, I feel like I'm the teacher and the other students aren't prepared to have an intelligent conversation about the material at hand. I study before the group study not while I'm with the group. If you haven't read the material before hand group study just doesn't make any sense. I'm glad you like to study in groups because most p/f Med School do encourage group study.
 
I have no idea why people make threads like these!! :rolleyes:
 
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I don't like studying with friends, since, if they're really my friends, we have plenty of fun stuff to talk about and I won't actually get any studying done.
 
hb2998 said:
In my school we're graded on a curve, with only like 8% of the class getting the A (and huge number getting the stupid B). I really don't like studying with others either. I come up with cool concepts in my head and would like to keep them to myself because of the curve, but whenever I do end up studying with others, I feel like I'm the teacher and the other students aren't prepared to have an intelligent conversation about the material at hand. I study before the group study not while I'm with the group. If you haven't read the material before hand group study just doesn't make any sense. I'm glad you like to study in groups because most p/f Med School do encourage group study.
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I wish I didn't like to group study! While studying I probably spend more than half my time feeling sorry for myself and thinking how everyone else is probably studying together behind my back. :scared: I think I also noticed I tend to breakout before tests and feel 56% more suicidal.

DropkickMurphy said:
Lay off the ketamine then. :laugh:
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Come on, I'm straight up straight-edge.
 
I don't typically enjoy studying with other people unless I already get a concept, in which case there's not as much need to study it. I like silence when I study, especially when it's a new topic, and working in a group just doesn't meet that need.

I highly doubt the people who are refusing your offers to study together are doing it to hurt your feelings. They're probably like a lot of other people on here and just get more done by themselves. If you're really worried that it's something you're doing, take a look at how prepared you are to cover the material. If you can't study successfully on your own, there's no way you'll work well in a group.

Another alternative would be to exchange phone numbers with one of these people with the understanding that if one of you has trouble with the material you can give the other a ring. That may make the solitary-studiers more comfortable (that way they aren't committing to a study session that may not work well for them) and it will give you an outlet if you really need it.
 
Benna said:
I don't typically enjoy studying with other people unless I already get a concept, in which case there's not as much need to study it. I like silence when I study, especially when it's a new topic, and working in a group just doesn't meet that need.

I highly doubt the people who are refusing your offers to study together are doing it to hurt your feelings. They're probably like a lot of other people on here and just get more done by themselves. If you're really worried that it's something you're doing, take a look at how prepared you are to cover the material. If you can't study successfully on your own, there's no way you'll work well in a group.

Another alternative would be to exchange phone numbers with one of these people with the understanding that if one of you has trouble with the material you can give the other a ring. That may make the solitary-studiers more comfortable (that way they aren't committing to a study session that may not work well for them) and it will give you an outlet if you really need it.
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Thanks Benna.
 
Go to TA/Professor office hours, they have to help you study, plus other students there ask very good questions which you might have not taught of. Think of it as group study with a moderator.

Second, you used the word suicidal.. you're electing to study. This is a trill for most of us, we love it. We love staying up all night studying for a test, etc. We know we could have successful satisfying careers in other fields but we genuinely like the torture of going to sleep 4am, to wake up 6am to cram for that immunology midterm, etc and finding out how we did afterwards. Throughout this process you are an individual who is to stand on your own two feet. You don't need anybodies help or pity. Group work is seriously over rated as 50% of the time they turn into social hour (which sucks!). Don't think you're unworthy, even if people are studying behind your back, go study alone, learn your stuff real well, discover a twist that you're sure the group didn't see, and tell yourself, "hey, I know something they don't." You can't believe how much quality time is waisted in groups when someone is trying to explain a concept to the group members, then the group members regurgitate the concept to have their understanding confirmed. If you don't understand a concept, ask the TA/Professor (remember that you'll need LORs ;)).

The time your stressing about all this stuff you could have been studying :).
 
hb2998 said:
Go to TA/Professor office hours, they have to help you study, plus other students there ask very good questions which you might have not taught of. Think of it as group study with a moderator.

Second, you used the word suicidal.. you're electing to study. This is a trill for most of us, we love it. We love staying up all night studying for a test, etc. We know we could have successful satisfying careers in other fields but we genuinely like the torture of going to sleep 4am, to wake up 6am to cram for that immunology midterm, etc and finding out how we did afterwards. Throughout this process you are an individual who is to stand on your own two feet. You don't need anybodies help or pity. Group work is seriously over rated as 50% of the time they turn into social hour (which sucks!). Don't think you're unworthy, even if people are studying behind your back, go study alone, learn your stuff real well, discover a twist that you're sure the group didn't see, and tell yourself, "hey, I know something they don't." You can't believe how much quality time is waisted in groups when someone is trying to explain a concept to the group members, then the group members regurgitate the concept to have their understanding confirmed. If you don't understand a concept, ask the TA/Professor (remember that you'll need LORs ;)).

The time your stressing about all this stuff you could have been studying :).
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That's actually a good idea, thanks. It's probably too late to go to office hours now but I have to remember that for the next test. I don't think I've ever even gone to a professor's office hours. Hm, yeah I haven't.
 
I used to like to group-study...even if it meant 'teaching' others the material. I am interested in academic medicine, and believe that teaching is an art that takes experience to master. Tutoring/lecturing others helps me improve my confidence, communication skills, teaching skills, and grasp of the material :) . Moreover, the ones I tutor in the group reap the benefits of getting a condensed & thorough review of the material, and some extra help to build/polish their skills; however, I found that it takes me 3-4 times longer to explain others concepts they should already know had they studied at least 50% of the material! The burden of extra time I end up wasting far outweighs any 'social' benefits I get...So, I try to avoid group studying when I already know the material cold...:cool:

BUT! As wicked and self-interested as it may seem.:thumbdown: ..I seek group-study sessions at times right before exams to gauge where I stand among my peers. I am all premed, neurotic, & OCD when it comes to exams and grades :eek: ; no matter how well I am prepared, I get an adrenalin rush and a sense of extreme competition. Not that I take pleasure in others' pain/academic troubles, during group-study sessions right before exams, it just helps ease the stress to know that on a relative scale you're quite well prepared compared to your peers...(especailly since most grades are curved...:smuggrin: )
 
group studying is evil. no work gets done. i also cant study with my ipod on or with aim or googlechat up.

have to be alone, ahh!
 
BeatrixKiddo said:
Why?! I'm not annoying or weird. Why doesn't anyone want to study with me?! I purposely picked classes in which I knew at least 2 people and they're all like oh I just want to study alone at home or oh I have to study for so-and-so's class. :(
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Do they study in groups with other people in the same class? If so, maybe they're snubbing you. If not, they're not.

I need absolute silence with no distractions to learn something efficiently. I think the last time I voluntarily studied something as part of a group was during p-chem in college. Other people were just an anchor ... slowing my progress through the stuff I knew well, and rarely able to help me learn something I didn't. Actually, even having my wife or kids around me when I'm trying to study is intolerable - even if they're silently reading a book - and I like them a hell of a lot more than I ever liked any of my classmates. :)

This is just anecdotal, but the further I get in my education (currently in residency), I find a higher and higher percentage of people are solitary learners. If they didn't start out that way, they sure are now. Study groups were the norm in high school and college. They were fairly common in medical school. Nobody really studies during their intern year, so that year's moot. And now, I don't think I've ever seen two residents get together to study for something. I sometimes see our board-eligible graduates get together to practice for oral boards, but that is specifically something that involves interacting with another person.

That "medicine is lifelong learning" saying is absolutely true, and you simply must acquire the ability to efficiently learn things on your own. So here's my opinion: study groups are a crutch ... often inefficient timewasters or social events ... and the sooner you ditch them entirely the better off you'll be.

Naturally, YMMV.
 
BeatrixKiddo said:
I wish I didn't like to group study! While studying I probably spend more than half my time feeling sorry for myself and thinking how everyone else is probably studying together behind my back. :scared:
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Crap, you've discovered our global conspiracy!
 
swpm said:
Do they study in groups with other people in the same class? If so, maybe they're snubbing you. If not, they're not.

I need absolute silence with no distractions to learn something efficiently. I think the last time I voluntarily studied something as part of a group was during p-chem in college. Other people were just an anchor ... slowing my progress through the stuff I knew well, and rarely able to help me learn something I didn't. Actually, even having my wife or kids around me when I'm trying to study is intolerable - even if they're silently reading a book - and I like them a hell of a lot more than I ever liked any of my classmates. :)

This is just anecdotal, but the further I get in my education (currently in residency), I find a higher and higher percentage of people are solitary learners. If they didn't start out that way, they sure are now. Study groups were the norm in high school and college. They were fairly common in medical school. Nobody really studies during their intern year, so that year's moot. And now, I don't think I've ever seen two residents get together to study for something. I sometimes see our board-eligible graduates get together to practice for oral boards, but that is specifically something that involves interacting with another person.

That "medicine is lifelong learning" saying is absolutely true, and you simply must acquire the ability to efficiently learn things on your own. So here's my opinion: study groups are a crutch ... often inefficient timewasters or social events ... and the sooner you ditch them entirely the better off you'll be.

Naturally, YMMV.
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I've been in the typical school system for i dunno 15 years, I should be a professional studier by now but I still have problems, I don't know what conditions I work good under or if I study better alone or with a partner. I need to get my crap together.
 
I think I prefer having someone who's not studying the same subject as me studying. If that makes any sense. For all I care, he/she could be studying history when I'm doing my physics as long as there's someone in the room focused and quiet. It helps me to not distract myself or feel too lonely. That way you get company yet you get to study by yourself at your own pace.
 
I study on my own...

My friends are for...you know spending time with, partying, chilling whatever, not studying. Of course during exams we'll go to the library together, but most of them are in mgmt/business so totally different subjects.

It's good enough motivation to be in a quiet room sitting with your friends who are all intently studying themselves, you won't slack off. :)
 
Mubash'shirah said:
I think I prefer having someone who's not studying the same subject as me studying. If that makes any sense. For all I care, he/she could be studying history when I'm doing my physics as long as there's someone in the room focused and quiet. It helps me to not distract myself or feel too lonely. That way you get company yet you get to study by yourself at your own pace.
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True, that helps.
 
I don't like to study with friends. My friends tend to annoy me and are extremely lazy when it comes to studying. If I spend more than 3 hours studying for an exam they think that I'm studying too much. True example of a "conversation" while I'm studying for a bio exam.

Friend via text message approx. 7 pm: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Studying for my bio bio final"
Friend: "Ok I'll talk to you later"

Same Friend approx. 9: "What are you doing?"
Me: "Still studying for the final"
Friend: "That's taking all your time. Is that all you're going to do?"
Me:"Yes. Now please stop texting me you're distracting me from studying."

Same Friend approx. 10: "Now what are you doing?"
Me: "Studying for the final"
Friend: "Still? you know if you don't have it by now then you're probably never gonna get it. I suggest you give up."

See that's why I don't study with friends (and also why I turn my phone off when studying :rolleyes: )

Reason why I don't study with classmates. Well I have 2 reasons.

Reason # 1- Most of the students in my classes are pre-medical students. I view everyone of them as sitting in my seat for med school. So uhm I try my hardest not to be too close to them because they are future competition. Reason #2 - When I tried to help some classmates (because they asked me to) they always cancelled because they decided playing pool was more important than studying for a class exam that contributed towards their final grade. Then had the audacity to get upset with me when they didn't get a good grade on the exam. Yea it was all my fault
 
baylormed said:
Many people see studying as a solitary activity, myself included. It's nothing personal when I tell someone I can't study with them.

Besides, most libraries at colleges have private carrels you can go into, so you don't have to be distracted by other people.
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:thumbup: Group study has worked out horribly during med school.

:love: ya, baylormed! Are you sold on UTSW, fo sho?
 
BeatrixKiddo said:
Why?! I'm not annoying or weird. Why doesn't anyone want to study with me?! I purposely picked classes in which I knew at least 2 people and they're all like oh I just want to study alone at home or oh I have to study for so-and-so's class. :(
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I agree and find myself thinking the same thing... Mostly because it gets a little boring and it is nice to have someone to fool off with every once in a while, eat lunch with and virtually share the same pain and agony you are feeling at the moment. LOL

are you a girl or boy I can't tell from the Avatar?
 
christian15213 said:
I agree and find myself thinking the same thing... Mostly because it gets a little boring and it is nice to have someone to fool off with every once in a while, eat lunch with and virtually share the same pain and agony you are feeling at the moment. LOL

are you a girl or boy I can't tell from the Avatar?
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Exactly! You put all my thoughts into words: studying is boring. Freakin' weirdos study alone for hours.

*sigh* Sometimes I can't tell even while looking in a mirror.
 
I find that people are more likely to study with me after I shower.
 
BeatrixKiddo said:
Why?! I'm not annoying or weird. Why doesn't anyone want to study with me?! I purposely picked classes in which I knew at least 2 people and they're all like oh I just want to study alone at home or oh I have to study for so-and-so's class. :(
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Well, I doubt it is personal. Most people I know would rather study alone, because it's easier to focus and actually get the work done. That's likely why they are avoiding studying with you.
 
It's not personal!!! Most people like to study alone and whenever I "studied" with friends nothing ever got done. I'm disciplined when it comes to studying, but if friends are nearby... different story.

ex) My friend came over to study for a final. Instead of sitting down at a table to study, I led her to the backyard and started showing off all the tricks I learned with a hula hoop. Then, I let the dog out and he ran around like crazy in the backyard. After that, i suggested that it was time to eat and have a break. Yeah, so studying went out the window.... :rolleyes:
 
Don't mean to be mean...but maybe the OP is a gunner, a relentless sniper -- or a complete ******* that has to have everything drummed into his head. :p
 
bubabugster said:
It's not personal!!! Most people like to study alone and whenever I "studied" with friends nothing ever got done. I'm disciplined when it comes to studying, but if friends are nearby... different story.

ex) My friend came over to study for a final. Instead of sitting down at a table to study, I led her to the backyard and started showing off all the tricks I learned with a hula hoop. Then, I let the dog out and he ran around like crazy in the backyard. After that, i suggested that it was time to eat and have a break. Yeah, so studying went out the window.... :rolleyes:
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rushrules1 said:
Maybe you stink or have bad breath :scared:
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GuzzyRon said:
Don't mean to be mean...but maybe the OP is a gunner, a relentless sniper -- or a complete ******* that has to have everything drummed into his head. :p
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NO! I don't have bad breath. I'm the total opposite of a gunner, I never go to office hours nor do I sit in the front of the class. And I'm not even that stupid, in fact I'm smarter than some of my crazy hardworking gunning friends.

Oh, and I'm begining to think it IS personal. I asked my friend if she wanted to study and she was like no (this was last year). So, I said fine, I went to the library alone and LO AND FREAKIN BEHOLD, who did I see there at our usual library spot?! THAT SAME HOE. And, she wasn't even alone, she was with some GUY from our class... studying!!!!! *cry* *cry* *cry*
 
maybe she has a crush oh on the guy or something, so that could be why...
 
Studying in a group is a good idea given that you and your friends have similar interests. The time and place where you maybe asking someone to study is pretty important. Some weeks people get too much work to study in a group setting. I personally think studying with others gives you new perspectives, but always be considerate if a "study-buddy":love: has too much work in a certain week.
 
I personally prefer studying alone if I really want to be efficient and get a lot done. I've had pretty much nothing besides bad experiences with study groups with a few exceptions. Actually in the past few years the only reason I would study with someone else is if I wanted to hit on my study partner or mess around with her because she was hot...this assuming I had less work than usual and could afford to burn time. So don't get offended if ppl turn down your request...find someone who likes the same method you do.
 
TamarMD said:
Reason # 1- Most of the students in my classes are pre-medical students. I view everyone of them as sitting in my seat for med school. So uhm I try my hardest not to be too close to them because they are future competition. Reason #2 - When I tried to help some classmates (because they asked me to) they always cancelled because they decided playing pool was more important than studying for a class exam that contributed towards their final grade. Then had the audacity to get upset with me when they didn't get a good grade on the exam. Yea it was all my fault
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I'm with you on #2, but #1... damn.
 
BeatrixKiddo said:
Because I don't understand some of the concepts and usually talking it out helps me. I guess it can be a nuisance if the other person is too stubborn about what is important or what isn't or if they're too slow.
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i prefer to study alone, but talking things out also helps me. this is when i use my trusty whiteboard. i write/talk things out as if i'm explaining it to someone else (sometimes i'll drag my husband in to listen to me) and usually wind up figuring out what i was doing wrong.
 
GreyBlueEyes said:
i prefer to study alone, but talking things out also helps me. this is when i use my trusty whiteboard. i write/talk things out as if i'm explaining it to someone else (sometimes i'll drag my husband in to listen to me) and usually wind up figuring out what i was doing wrong.
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I study both ways depending on the subject matter and who I know in the class, but I do this a lot when I'm soloing.

I'm good at talking to myself, anyway.
 
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