Nontrad Off-Topic Advice Thread (for all topics not medical or school related)

[LupaCupcake]

That line of "boys will be boys" is ridiculous. Bullying is such a problem in school and online. Attitudes like that do not help it, that is just an excuse.

Good to hear some solution was found though.




My daycare closed...today. When I put in my notice to the boss at children and youth services she transitioned my kids to other daycares and my infant was the last one. He just got picked up early by his mom because she was released early from work today. She mentioned not liking the new daycare provider as much as me which made me feel a little bad, but I can't get pulled back into this. My director has tried to keep me, but ultimately my priorities are my family and my education. I offered to help her find another daycare provider if this new one did not work out well for her, I will do that, but this is the best decision for my family and for my grades.

I can't believe we have our home back. No more random inspections, no more setting up our living room/dining/bathroom etc. to the specifications of CYS. For such a long time it has felt like our bedrooms were the only parts of our home, the rest was a business. I don't have to wake up at 0500 anymore!

I take final exams tomorrow all day long (it is supposed to snow so I really hope it waits until I get inside of the building lol) then I am on vacation. wooooooo hooooo.....school vacation, no daycare. I don't know what I am going to do with all of that extra sleep.

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[Prncssbuttercup]

Maybe I'm just crabby this morning because I've a headache and didn't have my coffee yet, but this is irrelevant. In the allopathic forum they'd kick this out to the lounge.

I'm weighing in while it's here. Your position is the same as being a clerk in a gas station. Any customer has the right to come in whenever they want. If you're not comfortable with it fine, get a new job.

I also find your spelling of "ok" to be incredibly irritating.

Not every user can post in the lounge. If you are new, it isn't available. I am not sure how many posts you have to have before it's open. Either way, who cares? This is the Non-trad forum, not the Pre-allo or allo forums, where as Wholeheartedly said, we go to lose our faith in humanity...


To Sho-tyme, I am glad to hear your son is doing better. I have been discussing bullying with many people recently, and the one thing we all agree on (as adults who were bullied or stood up to bullies), is that the kid HAS to stand up to them. Anyone who says "ignore them, they'll go away" is a fool. They won't go away, it won't help, it will continue to get worse. My husband was the victim of horrible bullying, as were some of my friends. I was not bullied because people feared my older brother and sister (who had been bullied but beat up the bullies), so in turn they feared me. As a result, I was frequently 'in between' a bully and their victim. I am glad the older brother is able to do this, but I would suggest seeing if the younger son is interested in the martial arts as well. If nothing else but to give him a greater sense of ability to defend himself should he need to.
Best of luck, and bullies suck... they are POS kids from POS parents....

 

[ShoTyme]

http://www.vice.com/the-vice-guide-to-travel/vice-guide-to-north-korea-1-of-3

Right? Holy mother of God. And Georgie Bush was thinking some good ole Texas tough talk was the right move. Whaaaat?! These guys make Al-Qaeda look like a pack of drunken Carnies. What the.... About to get us all killed. Somebody unplug that mic!!!

So that's what I want advice on. America. I live here. Am thankful for it's rock n roll type freedoms. And the fact that we don't honor-kill our ninja clad women for talking to GI's or something.

But I don't understand us. Even though I've worked shoulder to shoulder with serious rednecks. There was a separation. Suspicion. Like I was up to something sneakily subversive. Like questioning the religious sanctity of NASCAR.

So what does America. For all of you who feel close to the mind of it. Think we're doing guarding the ancient poppy fields of Afghanistan. Haggling with fuedal lords in perpetual circularity. Like Alexander the Great nor British nor the Soviets nor the countless others ever existed or failed to impose anything.

We're sinking. Our economy is shambles. And our usefulness to the world stage are quickly being relegated to Blackwater type corporate ventures.

So what is that America thinks it's doing? Why are we convinced we're so awesome that we need show people how to do it? Why are we convinced that a historically isolated backwoods people is equipped to administer world affairs? We don't even speak any of the f'n languages.

Do we believe in the political process? I can't say that I do. We're like coorperatized north koreans (carreerans--holy crap that video was as funny as it was weird) with tons more recess time.

I don't know America. I don't watch TV. I don't understand what I'm supposed to about racial iconography. I listen to smart as f@ck stand up comics most of the time. And generally find most of America too stupid and dull to deserve much of my time.

But what choice do you have.

Help a kid out. The type of kid who stood up and said this all bull**** at the age of 9 in sunday school.

How the F@ck am I supposed to understand this 300 million strong pack of chimpanzees?

When I'm convinced I'm distinctly Bonobo in lineage.

Thanks. Regards.

Nas - in the off chance you happen to find your way back here, your boy died today. I was hoping you would wax poetic about his passing, and have some words of wisdom about how this may impact the future politics of the area. Safe journeys.

 

[ShoTyme]

To Sho-tyme, I am glad to hear your son is doing better. I have been discussing bullying with many people recently, and the one thing we all agree on (as adults who were bullied or stood up to bullies), is that the kid HAS to stand up to them. Anyone who says "ignore them, they'll go away" is a fool. They won't go away, it won't help, it will continue to get worse. My husband was the victim of horrible bullying, as were some of my friends. I was not bullied because people feared my older brother and sister (who had been bullied but beat up the bullies), so in turn they feared me. As a result, I was frequently 'in between' a bully and their victim. I am glad the older brother is able to do this, but I would suggest seeing if the younger son is interested in the martial arts as well. If nothing else but to give him a greater sense of ability to defend himself should he need to.
Best of luck, and bullies suck... they are POS kids from POS parents....

Thank you SBB. The situation has subsided tremendously. It appears that the threat of force from his older brother was enough to do the trick. The problem was, no one knew he was being picked on. He kept it so well hidden until he broke down completely in my arms. Very sad. I'm glad everything is getting better though.

 

[theseeker4]

Thank you SBB. The situation has subsided tremendously. It appears that the threat of force from his older brother was enough to do the trick. The problem was, no one knew he was being picked on. He kept it so well hidden until he broke down completely in my arms. Very sad. I'm glad everything is getting better though.

It is a very tough situation, especially with the still-pervasive attitude of "boys will be boys" or "children will be children" (since bullying is definitely not reserved to males only) and the attitudes of the parents of bullies, who if they are even involved with their children, help them get away with bad behavior and even encourage it explicitly. That attitude, combined with a bullied child's fear of retaliation for telling anyone about it, leads to children being mercilessly bullied their entire school careers. Perfect environment for both driving some percentage of children to suicide each year, and training a whole new generation of cruel little sociopaths.

Sometimes, the little bastards just need the crap kicked out of them to realize they are not the biggest, baddest dudes in the school.

 

[Prncssbuttercup]

That is what my husband had to do. I think he may have ended up breaking the kids arm, I don't remember fully. Like I said, bullies are POS kids from POS parents. I am lucky, but I know several adults (mainly women) who STILL 20 years on, hold onto the past and are still victims of these same bullies. They still let it affect them, very sad.

 

[dmf2682]

Speaking of bullying, anyone watching this season of top chef?

 

[mommy2three]

speaking of sons....i could also use some wise sage btdt advice

my son (will be 9 in jan) has adhd. due to numerous issues with his teacher last year we took him out of parochial school and transitioned him to montessori.
the way the montessori is structured the lower elementary classroom is grade 1-3 so he is in the last year there.
he has taken to the material, is a completely different student and has his confidence back academically. however, the only minor issue we have is he is reluctant to work with others in his class, his teachers tell me he gets very anxious about doing so. some of this i think is due to the newness of the materials and situation in class. i think the other part is he feels like the other students in his grade are more familiar with the materials than he is. and also due to the fact that the past three years he has not been allowed to work with anyone else so this type of situation is completely new for him.
anyway, he is fine with his peers at recess and other situations so it is an entirely situational anxiety.
his teachers suggested small group settings but they would be social and i do not know how that would help since he is fine socially speaking, it is strictly schoolwork related.
any ideas or thoughts on how to help him get over this last little hurdle?????

 

[MedPR]

speaking of sons....i could also use some wise sage btdt advice

my son (will be 9 in jan) has adhd. due to numerous issues with his teacher last year we took him out of parochial school and transitioned him to montessori.
the way the montessori is structured the lower elementary classroom is grade 1-3 so he is in the last year there.
he has taken to the material, is a completely different student and has his confidence back academically. however, the only minor issue we have is he is reluctant to work with others in his class, his teachers tell me he gets very anxious about doing so. some of this i think is due to the newness of the materials and situation in class. i think the other part is he feels like the other students in his grade are more familiar with the materials than he is. and also due to the fact that the past three years he has not been allowed to work with anyone else so this type of situation is completely new for him.
anyway, he is fine with his peers at recess and other situations so it is an entirely situational anxiety.
his teachers suggested small group settings but they would be social and i do not know how that would help since he is fine socially speaking, it is strictly schoolwork related.
any ideas or thoughts on how to help him get over this last little hurdle?????

I used to be like that, but mostly because I was very shy and usually still am when it comes to working in a group setting. You might think this is a dumb idea, but in my experience it has worked for me and It's not a difficult thing to do.

I assume the teacher is assigning groups, as opposed to letting the students pick their own group. So, you could ask the teacher to always (at least in the beginning) group your son with students that he knows he is superior to (e.g, knows the material better than). When I'm grouped with students that I feel need me to lead, or need my help understanding material, I'm much less anxious about the situation. When I feel like my group doesn't need me because I'm the least knowledgeable, I get really nervous/anxious. For example, when I'm tutoring, I'm completely confident, and even if I can't answer a question, I don't get stressed out or anxious. But if/when I'm not comfortable with the material in class, and the teacher is calling on students to answer questions, I'm anxious and stressed out the entire class period hoping that they don't call on me, or that they give me an easy question.

Sure the concept of thinking you're superior to someone because you think you know more than them comes off as very arrogant, but it's just a fact of life. You'll always be better than some, and not as good as others.

 

[dmf2682]

What to read: my new book about Alfred the Great, or my old book (EK Bio)?

Part of me feels guilty not doing the bio, but another part of me says my MCAT is about a year away and the history is not entirely non-value added. thoughts?

 

[theseeker4]

What to read: my new book about Alfred the Great, or my old book (EK Bio)?

Part of me feels guilty not doing the bio, but another part of me says my MCAT is about a year away and the history is not entirely non-value added. thoughts?

Read the history. If you have a year to the MCAT, reading the bio now will provide no benefit, reading for pleasure helps prevent burnout, and reading anything at all will help with the verbal section.