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Ok here goes..... dating for Atheist and Agnostics

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kgpremed11

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So how do you guys do it? Do you guys just not mention your religious beliefs at all or avoid the subject all together? I'm a young black man who lives in the deep south so of course I keep my religious beliefs a secret. Being an atheist or agnostic in the black community makes you a social outcast, being and atheist in the deep south could literally get you killed. Hopefully medical school will have a better population to choose from. Im asking this question here because there seems to be a lot of people here that would have faced this issue before, and hopefully I can get a few good comments.
 
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MedPR

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So how do you guys do it? Do you guys just not mention your religious beliefs at all or avoid the subject all together? I'm a young black man who lives in the deep south so of course I keep my religious beliefs a secret. Being an atheist or agnostic in the black community makes you a social outcast, being and atheist in the deep south could literally get you killed. Hopefully medical school will have a better population to choose from. Im asking this question here because there seems to be a lot of people here that would have faced this issue before, and hopefully I can get a few good comments.

HughMyron you've got some competition.
 
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xXIDaShizIXx

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So how do you guys do it? Do you guys just not mention your religious beliefs at all or avoid the subject all together? I'm a young black man who lives in the deep south so of course I keep my religious beliefs a secret. Being an atheist or agnostic in the black community makes you a social outcast, being and atheist in the deep south could literally get you killed. Hopefully medical school will have a better population to choose from. Im asking this question here because there seems to be a lot of people here that would have faced this issue before, and hopefully I can get a few good comments.

You really have to get out of the deep south to get away from the nuts. They breed like rabbits. There is no way I could have married a religious nut.
 
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JourneyAgent

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So how do you guys do it? Do you guys just not mention your religious beliefs at all or avoid the subject all together? I'm a young black man who lives in the deep south so of course I keep my religious beliefs a secret. Being an atheist or agnostic in the black community makes you a social outcast, being and atheist in the deep south could literally get you killed. Hopefully medical school will have a better population to choose from. Im asking this question here because there seems to be a lot of people here that would have faced this issue before, and hopefully I can get a few good comments.

It's not going to get any less awkward as any relationship progresses. Meeting the parents etc.

I feel for you. The southern black communities are very god fearing. Ironies in this are tolerated, outright disavowing the savior of man, not so much. Med school will have better options to a certain extent but you'd be better off at schools out of the south.

Basically date whoever can accept you as you are. And get the hell outta there.

Good luck. Godspeed.:D
 
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TriagePreMed

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Depends how much of a big deal you make out of religion and how much the person you're with does too. Personally, being an atheist is not the center of my life the way it is for Richard Dawkins and the like. In fact, I rarely even identify as an atheist as I think it's rather dumb to identify yourself by what you don't believe. You don't see folks saying "I'm a non-vegetarian" or something like that.

The women I've dated have never made a big deal to me about religion. They often just expect me to respect their beliefs, which I do. Some women do think religion is the center of their life, so it does conflict there the same way it would if a Jewish person met a Catholic. Then again my bubble here in Northern California is much different than the deep south.
 
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kgpremed11

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You really have to get out of the deep south to get away from the nuts. They breed like rabbits. There is no way I could have married a religious nut.

It's not going to get any less awkward as any relationship progresses. Meeting the parents etc.

I feel for you. The southern black communities are very god fearing. Ironies in this are tolerated, outright disavowing the savior of man, not so much. Med school will have better options to a certain extent but you'd be better off at schools out of the south.

Basically date whoever can accept you as you are. And get the hell outta there.

Good luck. Godspeed.:D

Im really trying, I think I'll apply to lots of DO schools on the east and west coast like PCOM an PNWU.
 
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Barcu

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So how do you guys do it? Do you guys just not mention your religious beliefs at all or avoid the subject all together? I'm a young black man who lives in the deep south so of course I keep my religious beliefs a secret. Being an atheist or agnostic in the black community makes you a social outcast, being and atheist in the deep south could literally get you killed. Hopefully medical school will have a better population to choose from. Im asking this question here because there seems to be a lot of people here that would have faced this issue before, and hopefully I can get a few good comments.

As others have said, just be respectful of others beliefs and you should be set. Don't go out of your way to share your beliefs because that's just annoying no matter what you believe. If asked, be honest as long as you are comfortable with that person (if they are a stranger or scare you, you don't need to be honest, just keep if private). If someone doesn't want to be with you because of your beliefs, that's better to get that out of the way early. Religion is one of those things that justifiably can (and should) end relationships. It's ok to have different beliefs than your partner as long as your partner is ok with and respects those beliefs. Trying to force a relationship with someone where one person is trying to convert or change the beliefs of someone else is never going to work. You don't even want to try because at some point in time, it will become a huge deal.
 
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torshi

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Not believing in God is a put-down theory in regards to creation in general. God also is whatever you define it to be, it's not absolute. There is no evidence as to how everything was created, but to denounce everything as a whole which is being Atheist is outright ignorant. Agnostic makes sense to some people, but these tend to be individuals who denounce religion in general. I think the best term for this is being a Deist. Believing in creation, but not catering to a specific religious pathway because religion in general is just a constructed pathway for ones honorable future regardless of the truthfulness of its manifestation which some fail to acknowledge.

Religion is a comforting tool to aid individuals to provide a sense of relief and hope in ones live whether it be moral values and so forth, but some and I believe the majority don't need direction or have to categorize themselves with a particular group now and days. Worship yourself, when people pray to God or at least they say they do, all in all they don't know who they are or what they are praying for. It's a sense of hope, and since there is no answer to creation, there could be some type of entity out there that caters to ones desires in which they believe.
 
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Bangersandmash

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Not believing in God is a put-down theory in regards to creation in general. God also is whatever you define it to be, it's not absolute. There is no evidence as to how everything was created, but to denounce everything as a whole which is being Atheist is outright ignorant.

And you calling a group of people who believe something different than creationism ignorant is called what exactly?

So how do you guys do it? Do you guys just not mention your religious beliefs at all or avoid the subject all together? I'm a young black man who lives in the deep south so of course I keep my religious beliefs a secret. Being an atheist or agnostic in the black community makes you a social outcast, being and atheist in the deep south could literally get you killed. Hopefully medical school will have a better population to choose from. Im asking this question here because there seems to be a lot of people here that would have faced this issue before, and hopefully I can get a few good comments.

This isn't something you can avoid. If you are going to enter a serious relationship with someone, religion comes up pretty quickly if you don't already know their beliefs. If your prospective SO doesn't like your beliefs, drop her like it's hot. If she is tolerant and you are tolerant, who cares. I was raised Jewish, consider myself atheist and my longtime girlfriend is a regular church attending catholic. It's never been a problem. She's even warmed to the idea of a non-denominational marriage ceremony.
 
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Narmerguy

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So how do you guys do it? Do you guys just not mention your religious beliefs at all or avoid the subject all together? I'm a young black man who lives in the deep south so of course I keep my religious beliefs a secret. Being an atheist or agnostic in the black community makes you a social outcast, being and atheist in the deep south could literally get you killed. Hopefully medical school will have a better population to choose from. Im asking this question here because there seems to be a lot of people here that would have faced this issue before, and hopefully I can get a few good comments.

78% of Americans are Christian. 78% of whites, 85% of blacks, 84% of Latinos, and 69% of other/mixed race individuals are Christian. The only group that is not majority Christian is Asians, of which 45% are Christian. However, 30% of them practice other religions, primarily Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam. At the end of the day, the vast majority of americans, no matter the region, are religious. There is not a single state, in any region, that has <70-80% religious population. The vast majority (>75%) of doctors are religious.

Stop wasting our time.

http://religions.pewforum.org/pdf/report-religious-landscape-study-full.pdf
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_the_United_States
http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2005/08/01/prsa0801.htm
 
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mcloaf

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78% of Americans are Christian. 78% of whites, 85% of blacks, 84% of Latinos, and 69% of other/mixed race individuals are Christian. The only group that is not majority Christian is Asians, of which 45% are Christian. However, 30% of them practice other religions, primarily Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam. At the end of the day, the vast majority of americans, no matter the region, are religious. There is not a single state, in any region, that has <70-80% religious population. The vast majority (>75%) of doctors are religious.

Stop wasting our time.

http://religions.pewforum.org/pdf/report-religious-landscape-study-full.pdf
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_the_United_States
http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2005/08/01/prsa0801.htm

Fair enough, but I'd argue that surveys of people self-reporting religious affiliation don't really tell us too much about OPs situation. People reporting religious affiliation run the gamut from those who attend church weekly and pray every day to people who haven't been in a church since they were baptized. Using such low resolution data isn't very useful, IMO, as a vaguely affiliated person will have no problem dating an atheist/agnostic while a devout believer most likely will (of course there are cases of this happening too, but I'd assume it's much more uncommon).
 
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username456789

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78% of Americans are Christian. 78% of whites, 85% of blacks, 84% of Latinos, and 69% of other/mixed race individuals are Christian. The only group that is not majority Christian is Asians, of which 45% are Christian. However, 30% of them practice other religions, primarily Hinduism, Buddhism, and Islam. At the end of the day, the vast majority of americans, no matter the region, are religious. There is not a single state, in any region, that has <70-80% religious population. The vast majority (>75%) of doctors are religious.

Stop wasting our time.

http://religions.pewforum.org/pdf/report-religious-landscape-study-full.pdf
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_in_the_United_States
http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2005/08/01/prsa0801.htm


He's not wasting anyone's time. It's your own fault if you choose to spend your time replying to him and doing his homework.

OP, moving up north will help you get away from so many of the crazies. There are still plenty of wingnuts, but it's much more socially acceptable to realize the fact that God probably does not exist when you get into areas outside of the south, especially in larger metropolitan areas.
 
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torshi

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And you calling a group of people who believe something different than creationism ignorant is called what exactly?



This isn't something you can avoid. If you are going to enter a serious relationship with someone, religion comes up pretty quickly if you don't already know their beliefs. If your prospective SO doesn't like your beliefs, drop her like it's hot. If she is tolerant and you are tolerant, who cares. I was raised Jewish, consider myself atheist and my longtime girlfriend is a regular church attending catholic. It's never been a problem. She's even warmed to the idea of a non-denominational marriage ceremony.

Yes, because what else is there besides creation? If we don't know what everything around is yet it's been created then what other possibility is there to think of? You're just spewing rhetoric. What an idiot. If anyone differs against creation in general makes no sense. These people tend to be lazy thinkers and opt being Atheist because when they think about God, creation they're thinking about the manipulated efforts of religion which contribute to their ill-taste about creation, God in general.

Also, what else is there to believe besides creation in general? If there is no answer to why there is everything we see and do then it would be an ignorant claim to be an Atheist..... I'm not religious at all. The definition of God is not absolute, and has many meanings which in my view is defined as everything around us, creation in general, but the answer for that is not explainable, and I don't think we are mean't to find out, especially from some book that has been interpreted by someone's personal liking

Everything around us defines that there is something and we don't need an explanation because we will never understand.
 
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KnuxNole

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Religion always seems to be an iffy topic. Being in the "fake south" aka Florida, I sometimes get asked what religion I am, and my roundabout answer usually changes the topic. However, I've never really noticed any intolerance towards people who were atheist or agnostic. FL could be another addition to look into, plus nice beaches + theme parks :D

Regardless, I respect everyone's religious practices. The only thing that slightly annoyed me in undergrad is when people kept being persistent in hearing about their certain church...

GWDS brought up a great point too! In big cities(NYC, Chi-town, Boston), there is tons of diversity and more progressive people.
 
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JourneyAgent

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Depends how much of a big deal you make out of religion and how much the person you're with does too. Personally, being an atheist is not the center of my life the way it is for Richard Dawkins and the like. In fact, I rarely even identify as an atheist as I think it's rather dumb to identify yourself by what you don't believe. You don't see folks saying "I'm a non-vegetarian" or something like that.

The women I've dated have never made a big deal to me about religion. They often just expect me to respect their beliefs, which I do. Some women do think religion is the center of their life, so it does conflict there the same way it would if a Jewish person met a Catholic. Then again my bubble here in Northern California is much different than the deep south.

More so than you'll likely ever know. I've lived extensively in both places. Trust me. Your expectations for not being f'd with for nonbelief or for not being an abomination with regards to these doctrines is a product of that environment. Which is why the consequence of others' belief systems is largely irrelevant to you. And almost any woman you're likely to date in the Bay Area.

This is something about the easy going western liberal societies that bother me. They don't understand who exactly we're f'n dealing with. The rapture is for keeps. This life is a scorecard for eternity. This stuff is very real to the truly religious. Not to the nominally so who disregard the vast majority of their doctrines and who along with liberals help nurture an environment where Dawkins is considered an annoying radical and fundamentalism is spared the criticism it desperately needs if we are to avoid the rapturous apocalypse these people are hastening towards with glee.
 
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torshi

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What are you guys even thumbing down? With no solid proof of the reasoning of our existence or creation in general you think it's alright be Atheist? Something put us here. How can you denounce that? As to a supreme being etc, no one knows and no one will ever know, you guys keep mixing the manipulated efforts of religion with what I'm saying. My stance is fairly neutral. When I say God, y'all are jumping to such bold conclusions. God is not a thing or entity. God is a simple term for everything around us. Just like the space around Earth is called galaxy. The term God isn't referring to a supreme being, it's a word to describe existence.
 
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What are you guys even thumbing down? With no solid proof of the reasoning of our existence or creation in general you think it's alright be Atheist? Something put us here. How can you denounce that? As to a supreme being etc, no one knows and no one will ever know, you guys keep mixing the manipulated efforts of religion with what I'm saying. My stance is fairly neutral. When I say God, y'all are jumping to such bold conclusions. God is not a thing or entity. God is a simple term for everything around us. Just like the space around Earth is called galaxy. The term God isn't referring to a supreme being, it's a word to describe existence.

You got thumbed down because that post did absolutely nothing to help this thread. The OP is obviously using "atheist" as a blanket term for "non-religious". Change atheist into "agnostic", "deist", "believing in some sort of nebulous impersonal god that exists but doesn't regularly meddle in human affairs", and it doesn't change the meaning of the thread one bit. The OP is still faced with the same problem of being a non-Christian in a place with mostly Christians. This isn't the place for useless philosophical debates.
 
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mcloaf

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Yes, because what else is there besides creation? If we don't know what everything around is yet it's been created then what other possibility is there to think of? You're just spewing rhetoric. What an idiot. If anyone differs against creation in general makes no sense. These people tend to be lazy thinkers and opt being Atheist because when they think about God, creation they're thinking about the manipulated efforts of religion which contribute to their ill-taste about creation, God in general.

Also, what else is there to believe besides creation in general? If there is no answer to why there is everything we see and do then it would be an ignorant claim to be an Atheist..... I'm not religious at all. The definition of God is not absolute, and has many meanings which in my view is defined as everything around us, creation in general, but the answer for that is not explainable, and I don't think we are mean't to find out, especially from some book that has been interpreted by someone's personal liking

Everything around us defines that there is something and we don't need an explanation because we will never understand.

All you're arguing here, albeit poorly, is that you're agnostic and anyone who disagrees with you is ignorant.

What are you guys even thumbing down? With no solid proof of the reasoning of our existence or creation in general you think it's alright be Atheist? Something put us here. How can you denounce that? As to a supreme being etc, no one knows and no one will ever know, you guys keep mixing the manipulated efforts of religion with what I'm saying. My stance is fairly neutral. When I say God, y'all are jumping to such bold conclusions. God is not a thing or entity. God is a simple term for everything around us. Just like the space around Earth is called galaxy. The term God isn't referring to a supreme being, it's a word to describe existence.

Not everyone has the same pantheist type view of the definition of the word God as you do, indeed I doubt most people do (at least on this forum populated mostly by Americans and Canadians). I'm not interested in debating semantics, but suffice it to say that you look a little foolish throwing around all of these bold claims and calling people idiots only to mention at the end that your conception of the word God is totally different than what most people mean when they use the word.
 
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Loudster

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Religion always seems to be an iffy topic. Being in the "fake south" aka Florida, I sometimes get asked what religion I am, and my roundabout answer usually changes the topic. However, I've never really noticed any intolerance towards people who were atheist or agnostic. FL could be another addition to look into, plus nice beaches + theme parks :D

Agreed, I'm in Florida as well and I think you'd probably be alright here. Loads of people (talking about the "locals") here are transplants and weren't necessarily raised in the South. Additionally, we've got a diverse bunch of students from all over the country, some atheists some religious. Everyone is pretty tolerant and personally I've had a handful of interesting discussions with atheist students and religious students here and they have all been very low-stress, non confrontational, and otherwise respectful. I think, at least here, you'd be fine.

And to bring myself back to the original topic; dating in med school? Ain't nobody got time for that...
 
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torshi

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You got thumbed down because that post did absolutely nothing to help this thread. The OP is obviously using "atheist" as a blanket term for "non-religious". Change atheist into "agnostic", "deist", "believing in some sort of nebulous impersonal god that exists but doesn't regularly meddle in human affairs", and it doesn't change the meaning of the thread one bit. The OP is still faced with the same problem of being a non-Christian in a place with mostly Christians. This isn't the place for useless philosophical debates.

Oh yea? Good assumption, but not good enough. Claiming ones self as Atheist whether it be a "blanket term" for being non-religious is pure ignorance. Just say your non-religious. Maybe you need to understand the term Atheism. Religion is set of codes and morals to follow. You can believe in something and still claim to be non-religious. No one has to be religious. Spewing rhetoric once again. :thumbdown:
 
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Lumberjill

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What are you guys even thumbing down? With no solid proof of the reasoning of our existence or creation in general you think it's alright be Atheist? Something put us here. How can you denounce that? As to a supreme being etc, no one knows and no one will ever know, you guys keep mixing the manipulated efforts of religion with what I'm saying. My stance is fairly neutral. When I say God, y'all are jumping to such bold conclusions. God is not a thing or entity. God is a simple term for everything around us. Just like the space around Earth is called galaxy. The term God isn't referring to a supreme being, it's a word to describe existence.

Yes, and I don't believe that an elephant is a huge animal with 4 legs and a trunk. To me, an elephant is the earwax in my ears. :naughty: Perhaps you should look up the definition of "god" and take your pantheistic beliefs elsewhere. This thread is for those who aren't afraid to admit that they don't believe in god.

Back to the point of this thread...
 
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Lumberjill

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I'm not worried about finding an atheist/agnostic to date in med school. According to the polls I've seen, they make up around half of the med school population, excluding southern states of course. But I plan to stay as far away from the south as possible. It's like stepping into a time-warp. :scared:
 
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username456789

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What are you guys even thumbing down? With no solid proof of the reasoning of our existence or creation in general you think it's alright be Atheist? Something put us here. How can you denounce that? As to a supreme being etc, no one knows and no one will ever know, you guys keep mixing the manipulated efforts of religion with what I'm saying. My stance is fairly neutral. When I say God, y'all are jumping to such bold conclusions. God is not a thing or entity. God is a simple term for everything around us. Just like the space around Earth is called galaxy. The term God isn't referring to a supreme being, it's a word to describe existence.

You are worse than the kids who try to rock a fedora and then argue the semantic difference between a fedora and a trilby and forget that it looks like **** regardless.
 
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Lumberjill

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People who've had relationships end over religious differences:(. I really liked that girl too.

Is it really wise to date a religious individual if you're an atheist? What if you get married and she insists on indoctrinating the children? And if you dare tell the children what you believe, she deems you an unfit parent and finds that to be grounds for a divorce where she will try to have your parental rights taken away by a judge who is probably just as religious as she is. It's not like this sort of thing has never happened. I was just reading about it not too long ago (I'll see if I can track down the article).

But no, I don't think I could date someone who is religious. For me, it would be like playing with fire. :(
 
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kgpremed11

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Is it really wise to date a religious individual if you're an atheist? What if you get married and she insists on indoctrinating the children? And if you dare tell the children what you believe, she deems you an unfit parent and finds that to be grounds for a divorce where she will try to have your parental rights taken away by a judge who is probably just as religious as she is. It's not like this sort of thing has never happened. I was just reading about it not too long ago (I'll see if I can track down the article).

But no, I don't think I could date someone who is religious. For me, it would be like playing with fire. :(

No. But im in Mississippi, very slim chance of finding a girl who isnt religious and has mutual physical attraction. The last girl I dated was a molecular biology major (same as me) so I just assumed she would be at least tolerant, but no. Breakup text went something like this

" Im sorry you seem like the perfect guy but I think people should share common beliefs" and shes right.
 
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niblet

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Who worries about this sort of stuff? :eyebrow:

A handful of pretentious young adults aiming to feel superior due to their enlightened perspective on reality.

When I was 15 I enjoyed getting on Yahoo! Answers and making fun of religion, because I was existentially insecure. 15. Nowadays, what religion someone subscribes to is the furthest thing from my mind.
 
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username456789

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A handful of pretentious young adults aiming to feel superior due to their enlightened perspective on reality.

When I was 15 I enjoyed getting on Yahoo! Answers and making fun of religion, because I was existentially insecure. 15. Nowadays, what religion someone subscribes to is the furthest thing from my mind.

You're a twit. Regardless of your faux supersecurity, when other people's religion becomes a hurdle to a relationship, it's a very real issue.

You're still thinking and acting like a 15 year old, it seems.
 
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mcloaf

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Is it really wise to date a religious individual if you're an atheist? What if you get married and she insists on indoctrinating the children? And if you dare tell the children what you believe, she deems you an unfit parent and finds that to be grounds for a divorce where she will try to have your parental rights taken away by a judge who is probably just as religious as she is. It's not like this sort of thing has never happened. I was just reading about it not too long ago (I'll see if I can track down the article).

But no, I don't think I could date someone who is religious. For me, it would be like playing with fire. :(

It's not necessarily unwise if the individuals have mature discussions about this stuff before getting hitched. Any pair of people who would marry without discussing such serious aspects of a relationship as glaring religious differences ahead of time are, to be blunt, stupid and will end up reaping the rewards of their impulsiveness later.
 
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Bangersandmash

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Walowitz? Is that you?

I had to goolge this Walowitz you speak of. I laughed. :thumbup:

Yes, because what else is there besides creation? If we don't know what everything around is yet it's been created then what other possibility is there to think of? You're just spewing rhetoric. What an idiot. If anyone differs against creation in general makes no sense. These people tend to be lazy thinkers and opt being Atheist because when they think about God, creation they're thinking about the manipulated efforts of religion which contribute to their ill-taste about creation, God in general.

Also, what else is there to believe besides creation in general? If there is no answer to why there is everything we see and do then it would be an ignorant claim to be an Atheist..... I'm not religious at all. The definition of God is not absolute, and has many meanings which in my view is defined as everything around us, creation in general, but the answer for that is not explainable, and I don't think we are mean't to find out, especially from some book that has been interpreted by someone's personal liking

Everything around us defines that there is something and we don't need an explanation because we will never understand.

For someone who has vilified so-called "ignorant" atheists, you are sure as hell one ignorant jackass yourself. What rhetoric am I spewing? How am I an idiot? Because I declared myself an atheist? Because you see me as a lazy thinker when you are completely unaware of how I have come to make my decisions in life regarding deities and religion? You know nothing about my views and in that respect, you are completely ignorant. Unfortunately, you've made this forum quite aware of your views.

All I did was ask a question. Those who proclaim the ignorance of others serve little useful purpose in most discussions. You cannot know anymore about the existence of a deity than anyone else. I don't know what your involvement in the army entails, but it's the exact same intolerance of competing viewpoints that fuels some of the terrorists the army fights.

Religion always seems to be an iffy topic. Being in the "fake south" aka Florida, I sometimes get asked what religion I am, and my roundabout answer usually changes the topic. However, I've never really noticed any intolerance towards people who were atheist or agnostic. FL could be another addition to look into, plus nice beaches + theme parks :D

Don't mislead people now. You get north of the Tampa/Orlando area and you are in the deep south.

Is it really wise to date a religious individual if you're an atheist? What if you get married and she insists on indoctrinating the children? And if you dare tell the children what you believe, she deems you an unfit parent and finds that to be grounds for a divorce where she will try to have your parental rights taken away by a judge who is probably just as religious as she is. It's not like this sort of thing has never happened. I was just reading about it not too long ago (I'll see if I can track down the article).

But no, I don't think I could date someone who is religious. For me, it would be like playing with fire. :(

Holy crap you're cynical. Does that mean you go into dating a girl thinking you'll marry her? Unless religious differences interfere with daily living, you'll have lots of time to discuss the future and kids. Not to mention, you probably didn't spend enough time getting to know someone if she is willing to divorce you and label you an unfit parent for sharing atheist beliefs with the children you fathered.
 
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JourneyAgent

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No. But im in Mississippi, very slim chance of finding a girl who isnt religious and has mutual physical attraction. The last girl I dated was a molecular biology major (same as me) so I just assumed she would be at least tolerant, but no. Breakup text went something like this

" Im sorry you seem like the perfect guy but I think people should share common beliefs" and shes right.

Dude. A black atheist science nerd in Mississippi. That's some f'd up cards for getting some action.

Bring it in for a hug bro....
 
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Lumberjill

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It's not necessarily unwise if the individuals have mature discussions about this stuff before getting hitched. Any pair of people who would marry without discussing such serious aspects of a relationship as glaring religious differences ahead of time are, to be blunt, stupid and will end up reaping the rewards of their impulsiveness later.

I've known people who have discussed the issue before marriage/children only to have the religious wife do a complete 180 after she had a ring and children to use as leverage. Those guys are miserable now and are afraid to divorce because they fear that they may lose their children due to the bias of some religious judge in their super religious town.

I completely agree with you. But I also want to point out how easily certain people are willing to lie if it means that they will get the house with a white-picket fence and 2.5 children that they've always dreamed of.

You just never know, which is why I view it as playing with fire. :shrug:
 
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niblet

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You're a twit. Regardless of your faux supersecurity, when other people's religion becomes a hurdle to a relationship, it's a very real issue.

You're still thinking and acting like a 15 year old, it seems.

Yeah, I know, I need to grow up and start throwing around ad hominems towards strangers on the internet.

I don't doubt religious differences can be an obstacle to a relationship, but really only for fundamentalists and atheists whose self-concept annoyingly revolves almost entirely around their atheism. Why those two ever pair up, I have no idea.
 
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username456789

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Yeah, I know, I need to grow up and start throwing around ad hominems towards strangers on the internet.

I don't doubt religious differences can be an obstacle to a relationship, but really only for fundamentalists and atheists whose self-concept annoyingly revolves almost entirely around their atheism. Why those two ever pair up, I have no idea.

You're right about the first part at least.
 
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Bangersandmash

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I've known people who have discussed the issue before marriage/children only to have the religious wife do a complete 180 after she had a ring and children to use as leverage. Those guys are miserable now and are afraid to divorce because they fear that they may lose their children due to the bias of some religious judge in their super religious town.

I completely agree with you. But I also want to point out how easily certain people are willing to lie if it means that they will get the house with a white-picket fence and 2.5 children that they've always dreamed of.

You just never know, which is why I view it as playing with fire. :shrug:

Yikes. I'm not familiar with law, but is the reason "my husband is not religious" good enough for a court to give full custody of children to a woman? I don't know if my feelings will change when I have a kid, but if my future wife is going to use my child as leverage, I'd take split custody to be rid of that nut. Hopefully there are signs beforehand though that she's a controlling monster.
 
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Lumberjill

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I had to goolge this Walowitz you speak of. I laughed. :thumbup:

Holy crap you're cynical. Does that mean you go into dating a girl thinking you'll marry her? Unless religious differences interfere with daily living, you'll have lots of time to discuss the future and kids. Not to mention, you probably didn't spend enough time getting to know someone if she is willing to divorce you and label you an unfit parent for sharing atheist beliefs with the children you fathered.

What you viewed as cynicism can easily be viewed as realism. And to answer your question, I date each person with the realization that I just might fall in love with that person. And I know from experience how bad it sucks to fall for a person you have to let go because they've done nothing but bring you down since you've met them. Maybe you haven't experienced this, but I have, and it is the reason why I don't think it's a good idea to date people you would never consider building a life with.

But then again, I think women and men view dating differently. Women tend to view dating as a means to meet a future spouse, and men tend to view dating as a means to sex; the finding a spouse part is usually a freak accident. :p
 
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ZoakRoak

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And you calling a group of people who believe something different than creationism ignorant is called what exactly?



This isn't something you can avoid. If you are going to enter a serious relationship with someone, religion comes up pretty quickly if you don't already know their beliefs. If your prospective SO doesn't like your beliefs, drop her like it's hot. If she is tolerant and you are tolerant, who cares. I was raised Jewish, consider myself atheist and my longtime girlfriend is a regular church attending catholic. It's never been a problem. She's even warmed to the idea of a non-denominational marriage ceremony.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jews#Ethnic_divisions
 
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