I am in my D1 year and haven't treated any patients, merely assisted. I find myself feeling nervous thinking about treating patients, directing them, knowing the answers to their questions, worrying about how they perceive me or my body language. The few times I've assisted and participated like taking blood pressure or assisting with some material preparations I get very nervous, my brow starts to sweat. This not something that happens in other situations. The responsibility of taking care of another human and needing them to see that I am a professional and know everything and have everything perfectly under control really rattles me. I have low self esteem. I am able to hide it but when things start to go wrong it really shows through, I have trouble keeping it together when things start to go wrong. I really feel fear of being "exposed" as incompetent somehow. I also look extremely young for 22 and my personality does not compensate for that all, if anything I am immature for my age in both personality and appearance. In short I have a lot of insecurity in my people skills and I am well aware of how important that is in dentistry, especially in practice where 90% of people go to the dentist who they "like" the most and is the most personable.
The fact that I have struggled quite a bit my first semester does not help this feeling. I have improved but I failed two of my first exams as part of the first block. I remediated them. Obviously I took a hit to my confidence from that. I put more time in and improved and did fine on the subsequent blocks. My handskills are pretty ****. I had to remediate multiple wax ups. First cast, terrible. First performance prep exam in the plastic tooth, terrible. These things way on me. I am trying to keep things in perspective, that things are for the most part over now for 2015 and I can refocus and reorganize for 2016.
I don't know how to fix my perspective and feel confident in myself going forward. All I can think of is to do well in the future so that I at least have the foundation of knowing I met the standards set forth. But for personal reasons I don't feel like I am able to dedicate myself in the same almost mindless fashion as others in my class seem to have dedicated themselves. Also my social life sucks in dental school, its mostly my fault but I feel pretty isolated from the rest of the class. I am sure that is one reason other students are able to dedicate themselves with more fervor, they have the social life to balance it out and make life enjoyable overall, not to mention study groups. Also I don't have any real upperclassmen mentors or practicing dentist mentors.
What do you think of my situation.
The fact that I have struggled quite a bit my first semester does not help this feeling. I have improved but I failed two of my first exams as part of the first block. I remediated them. Obviously I took a hit to my confidence from that. I put more time in and improved and did fine on the subsequent blocks. My handskills are pretty ****. I had to remediate multiple wax ups. First cast, terrible. First performance prep exam in the plastic tooth, terrible. These things way on me. I am trying to keep things in perspective, that things are for the most part over now for 2015 and I can refocus and reorganize for 2016.
I don't know how to fix my perspective and feel confident in myself going forward. All I can think of is to do well in the future so that I at least have the foundation of knowing I met the standards set forth. But for personal reasons I don't feel like I am able to dedicate myself in the same almost mindless fashion as others in my class seem to have dedicated themselves. Also my social life sucks in dental school, its mostly my fault but I feel pretty isolated from the rest of the class. I am sure that is one reason other students are able to dedicate themselves with more fervor, they have the social life to balance it out and make life enjoyable overall, not to mention study groups. Also I don't have any real upperclassmen mentors or practicing dentist mentors.
What do you think of my situation.
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