Parents attending white coat ceremony: Yay or Nay?

[oompa loompa]

current med students: how many of your parents actually attended your white coat ceremony?

ours is held before classes even start! it seems kind of pointless to me, and I don't think it's necessary for my parents to drive all the way over (it's ~4 hours away). Not to mention all the hassle of getting my parents settled in my place (we don't have the best relationship however they are my parents so I gotta make room for them). Anyway, they really seem to want to come. How can I convince them that it's not worth it to come?

 

[crunchyhamster]

dude, you're gonna feel like a loser if your family isn't at the white coat ceremony. family is what the white coat ceremony is for. it's a really nice ceremony and you should feel honored that your family values your accomplishment of getting into med school highly enough that they want to see this.

geeze.

 

[UCLAstudent]

Most of my classmates had their parents attend the white coat ceremony. I agree with the above poster --- the ceremony is more for family than anything. I think that you should let your parents come.

 

[RxnMan]

dude, you're gonna feel like a loser if your family isn't at the white coat ceremony. family is what the white coat ceremony is for. it's a really nice ceremony and you should feel honored that your family values your accomplishment of getting into med school highly enough that they want to see this.

geeze.

Excellent post.

OP, 'driving 4 hours?' Give me a break. My dad wanted to fly cross-country to see me. Unfortunately, my school doesn't allow parents to attend. Be happy that you have the opportunity to have your parents see you at an important point in your life.

 

[lobster M.D.]

yea, i wouldnt even be going except my parents and sis want to attend, this is for them, not for me

 

[top]

lol...my parents aren't coming, and i hope i don't feel like a loser. (the ceremony is closed, but the reception is open.)

my dad told me to take a picture and send it to them

 

[Hard24Get]

current med students: how many of your parents actually attended your white coat ceremony?

ours is held before classes even start! it seems kind of pointless to me, and I don't think it's necessary for my parents to drive all the way over (it's ~4 hours away). Not to mention all the hassle of getting my parents settled in my place (we don't have the best relationship however they are my parents so I gotta make room for them). Anyway, they really seem to want to come. How can I convince them that it's not worth it to come?

Yeah, sorry dude - it's totally worth it. Both of my parents flew across the country (though they were divorced) and videotaped it. They were probably happier than I was, grinning like idiots the whole time, and wouldn't have missed it for the world. Don't cheat your folks, they had to have played some role in getting you where you are today.

 

[BlazerMed]

Shoot, my wife's parents are even coming.

 

[R*ckstar]

My WHOLE family is coming. It is actually on my sister's birthday, and it is the day before she flies back to school in Hawaii (we are from New Jersey). I think my family is making a bigger deal about the white coat ceremony than her birthday. So I guess this is a pretty big deal

 

[andiluvsk]

I can't believe a school wouldn't allow parents to come...that's nuts...mine flew across the country, and they said the event was one of their proudest moments as parents. Dont cheat your folks....let 'em come.

 

[RxnMan]

I can't believe a school wouldn't allow parents to come...that's nuts...mine flew across the country, and they said the event was one of their proudest moments as parents. Dont cheat your folks....let 'em come.

I'm told the auditorium it's held in is 'too small' for parents to attend. And the great wide world is just outside...I just hope graduation is held somewhere else.

 

[angietron3000]

jeez. i practically begged my parents, sister, boyfriend, everyone under the sun to come to my white coat ceremony but i guess it's not gonna happen. oh well, hopefully i'm not the only loner there!!

 

[Chinorean]

current med students: how many of your parents actually attended your white coat ceremony?

ours is held before classes even start! it seems kind of pointless to me, and I don't think it's necessary for my parents to drive all the way over (it's ~4 hours away). Not to mention all the hassle of getting my parents settled in my place (we don't have the best relationship however they are my parents so I gotta make room for them). Anyway, they really seem to want to come. How can I convince them that it's not worth it to come?

It's a hassle to get them settled at your place? I'm sure it was a hassle for them to take care of you and change all those poopy diapers. Not to mention the usual sacrifices.

Anyways, if they don't come you probably won't have anyone to talk to. Everyone else is going to be with their family taking pictures. Or families will talk with other families. It's like being the lone single in a sea of couples.

 

[hanjoko]

Everyone else is going to be with their family taking pictures. Or families will talk with other families. It's like being the lone single in a sea of couples.

That's what I am afraid my parents are not coming since they are not in the US so we will see what happens...hopefully someone will just be like me so that at least I won't be the only one...

 

[Psycho Doctor]

I agree with what almost everyone else said. It's for your parents and family; it's an opportunity for them to see your school and feel proud of your accomplishments and really appreciate what all your schooling amounted to. My parents, brother and gf flew to mine and nothing would have stopped them from attending; it meant the world to them. Don't deprive them of this opportunity. Maybe it will make your relationship stronger...and maybe it's time to mend that relationship?

 

[browniegirl86]

Only my mom can make it . . . my dad has a crappy work situation in Wisconsin and it was all he could do to come home and see me off before I move without getting fired. My sister will be in school already so I doubt she will be able to come to California from Texas.

I'm sad that the rest of my family can't come, although I think they're still trying to figure out a way. So yeah, if your family is coming, you should be glad.

 

[anon-y-mouse]

current med students: how many of your parents actually attended your white coat ceremony?

ours is held before classes even start! it seems kind of pointless to me, and I don't think it's necessary for my parents to drive all the way over (it's ~4 hours away). Not to mention all the hassle of getting my parents settled in my place (we don't have the best relationship however they are my parents so I gotta make room for them). Anyway, they really seem to want to come. How can I convince them that it's not worth it to come?

I think it's sort of pointless too, it doesn't hold a whole lot of meaning for me (as say, graduation from med school might), but that moment is basically deisgned FOR your parents. notice the extraordinary desire they showed... seeming to "really want to come"? My mother, the most practical of people who usually eschews sentimental things, even wanted to come... don't deprive your parents of this opportunity they've been waiting 18-22 years for!

Book a hotel for them. They're probably going to be glad you put them up in a hotel rather than on your couch or extra futon. Orbitz.com or priceline.com (my savior for med school interviews!!) should get you something pretty cheap. You can afford $50-100 I assume? Book it and tell them afterwards. With priceline, you can bid for a luxury hotel for half price and usually get it... that'll make their stay more pleasant. Make dinner reservations as well if you want. Be the good son/daughter and let them enjoy that moment!

 

[NonTradMed]

Wild horses couldn't drag my parents from my white coat ceremony. It's a great photo op, and a nice way to start off a new class and meet your future classmates. Definitely get your parents here, you'll only have one chance at it, don't make your parents regret not coming to such a happy event b/c of minor inconvienences.

 

[medicomel]

i'll be a loner too, regarding the parents. i'll be bringing my SO, though, the one who was there for me during the application process, the traveling, the whining, worrying, and waiting around, and the ecstatic joy of knowing that whereever i end up i'll be a doctor.

i'm happy for those of you who have parents who are truly supportive, but don't forget that some of us have parents who only want to participate in the neatly packaged celebration, and kindly opt out of the messy journey

somebody show me some love and post a violin...

 

[beponychick]

Yup, im going all out on this. my SO, parents, sister, and even one of my high school teachers who has become a mentor to me throughout my pre-med years.

 

[sentrosi]

dude, you're gonna feel like a loser if your family isn't at the white coat ceremony. family is what the white coat ceremony is for. it's a really nice ceremony and you should feel honored that your family values your accomplishment of getting into med school highly enough that they want to see this.

geeze.

Well, that's going to suck for me. My family would have to fly cross country to attend and they just did that for my graduation from undergrad like 2 months ago.

 

[peppy]

Yeah, I agree with those saying to let your parents come to the ceremony. It may not mean much to you, but it probably means a lot to them.

My school held the white coat ceremony AFTER we had finished Gross Anatomy, so it did feel like we were celebrating an accomplishment...but, then again, just the act of getting accepted to med school IS an accomplishment, so I still think it's an occasion worth celebrating even if you do the ceremony before classes.

I don't like ceremonial stuff so getting "coated" didn't really mean that much to me, but I know my mother was very proud and happy to see that moment after all the struggles it had taken for her to raise me to this point.

 

[Law2Doc]

current med students: how many of your parents actually attended your white coat ceremony?

ours is held before classes even start! it seems kind of pointless to me, and I don't think it's necessary for my parents to drive all the way over (it's ~4 hours away). Not to mention all the hassle of getting my parents settled in my place (we don't have the best relationship however they are my parents so I gotta make room for them). Anyway, they really seem to want to come. How can I convince them that it's not worth it to come?

Agree with the others. The whole point of the ceremony is for the parents/families.

 

[beefballs]

I wasn't planning on my wife or mother attending and mentioned it in passing, they were genuinely pissed at me for not letting them know sooner, I don't care but I guess it means something to them, so what the hell if they can make it have 'em come

 

[BlazerMed]

I wasn't planning on my wife or mother attending and mentioned it in passing, they were genuinely pissed at me for not letting them know sooner, I don't care but I guess it means something to them, so what the hell if they can make it have 'em come

My parents brought it up to me. They have a neighbor whose got 1 kid done with medical school and another in the midst of it, so as soon as I was accepted, it was like a giant game of 20 questions.

 

[Callogician]

For me, all organized celebrations are trite and gushy. I went to the white coat ceremony alone, and I almost burst out laughing at the teary-eyed parents. I never tell my parents about these things. That way, they can't feel guilty and ask to come. I'll just call my parents someday and be like, "Hey, I got my MD. By the way, I'm married too."

 

[oompa loompa]

ok, I get it! parents should come. I know I sound ungrateful when I say I don't want them to come, but I'm still really surprised they want to. We've had so many arguments over the school I ended up picking, I figured they'd want nothing to do with thisc school. I agree that white coat ceremonies are meant for families more than the actual incoming MS-1s, so it seems silly if my parents don't come.

And anon-y-mouse, I'd love to book a hotel for my parents, but knowing them and their extreme frugality, they'd be pissed. They are pretty insistent on staying with me wherever I am...that's what I meant by "hassle." Even in undergrad, they always stayed in my tiny dorm whenever they visited.

 

[SanDiegoSOD]

And anon-y-mouse, I'd love to book a hotel for my parents, but knowing them and their extreme frugality, they'd be pissed. They are pretty insistent on staying with me wherever I am...that's what I meant by "hassle." Even in undergrad, they always stayed in my tiny dorm whenever they visited.

Wow... that's pretty horrible.

 

[cbgray]

I don't know - I think I'm more excited about it than my dad is, but then again he isn't really too excited that I'm going to medical school in the first place...

Is my school the only one who has their ceremony at the end of October or are there others who will get late-coated?

 

[ahumdinger]

I don't know - I think I'm more excited about it than my dad is, but then again he isn't really too excited that I'm going to medical school in the first place...

Is my school the only one who has their ceremony at the end of October or are there others who will get late-coated?

I think I win for getting late-coated. We get our white coat ceremony after 2nd year, to mark the transition into our clinical years. Before 1st year, we get a stethescope or something.

 

[Bubchik]

I don't know - I think I'm more excited about it than my dad is, but then again he isn't really too excited that I'm going to medical school in the first place...

Is my school the only one who has their ceremony at the end of October or are there others who will get late-coated?

We had ours at the end of May!!!!! Actually May 30th, right after Memorial Day weekend. We were not happy at first, feeling that we are the last people getting our coats. But on the other hand it was very nice to finish the year with this ceremony, it felt very special because we already knew each other well, made bunch of friends and had nice dinner after with all the pictures taken (but we actually knew who was in the picture), plus all the faculty showed up. So we could mingle and take pix with favorite professors, etc. Some of my classmates performed, and there was a slide show summarizing the year with OUR pictures from orientation through the last BDay we have celebrated together (plus all the fun of Anatomy, First Year Show, sleeping in lectures).
Most of the people had somebody present, like family, SO, friends. Plus it was along weekend so people did not have as much trouble with work schedule.
Everybody invited their mentors, preceptors, people that they wanted to share this special moment with! We had around 700 people present (thank god for a large auditorium, that including 120 of us plus faculty).

 

[flipanova7]

I think I win for getting late-coated. We get our white coat ceremony after 2nd year, to mark the transition into our clinical years. Before 1st year, we get a stethescope or something.

We have an oath signing ceremony before instruction begins and get "late-coated" at the end of the M2 year as well.

http://www.hsc.wvu.edu/som/alumni/traubert.asp

 

[Bubchik]

We have an oath signing ceremony before instruction begins and get "late-coated" at the end of the M2 year as well.

http://www.hsc.wvu.edu/som/alumni/traubert.asp

Wow, so we are not the last ones after all.

 

[Perrin]

Only students were invited to our white coat ceremony. It was exciting putting on our coats for the first time, but the ceremony then proceeded towards boredom. There were a lot of "speeches" and congratulations that dragged on forever. The food was really good though. The fun didn't start until a bunch of us met up at a local bar and drank the night away.

 

[scneuro]

I'm told the auditorium it's held in is 'too small' for parents to attend. And the great wide world is just outside...I just hope graduation is held somewhere else.

No worries about graduation RxnMan, it's held at SPAC in the amphitheather. It's a gorgeous setting!

 

[78222]

I could care less about this silly ceremony. If my parents happen to be in town, then they can come. If not... then too bad.

 

[anon-y-mouse]

I never tell my parents about these things. That way, they can't feel guilty and ask to come.

Why would they feel guilty -- your parents have no genuine interest in these sorts of things? I know you proclaimed your disdain for the trite and gushy (I share it too), but why would your *parents* feel guilty?

 

[angietron3000]

Why would they feel guilty -- your parents have no genuine interest in these sorts of things? I know you proclaimed your disdain for the trite and gushy (I share it too), but why would your *parents* feel guilty?

Mine don't! I feel like I was raised by robots!

 

[LucidSplash]

Ours will be in November sometime. I believe there is actually an additional ceremony between 2nd and 3rd year to mark the moving on to clinical years, but its not a white coat ceremony.

Not everyone is close to their parents, and not everyone's parents sweat and sacrificed to send them to school, etc. My Mom couldn't help pay for school and actually threatened not to "let" me go to college because of a disagreement we had in July before by freshman year (I was still 17 when I matriculated so she felt letting me go to college before I was 18 was a privilege she could revoke) and my Dad flat out refused to help pay for school even though he's more than financially secure enough. I'm not sure if my parents will come in November. My Dad is all proud that I got into med school, but considering that he's been telling me for 3 years that I wouldn't get in, I'm not that impressed by his support now, and he usually doesn't show for events like that because they aren't important to him. My Mom is pretty far away too (just like my Dad but in a different direction) and I probably won't tell her because she can't afford to come and I don't want her to ask me to loan her the money and have her say nasty things when I tell her I can't afford it. My in-laws probably will drive in for it though, because they're really into that kind of stuff, so it'll be nice to have them there.

So I'd like to give my support to those that don't have great relationships with their parents. I envy those of you that do and I'm glad you do. But for some of us, choosing to avoid difficult situations with parents at this point is a measure of freedom we've earned and is actually better for our personal well-being. Not every case is so dramatic, but its better to realize that no one can really understand another person's family dynamic.

 

[LaDoctorFutura]

my parents, sister, boyfriend, both grandmothers, aunt, and uncle are coming. possibly more if my parents go blabbing some more.

let them have your/their moment in time.

 

[CCLCMer]

ok, I get it! parents should come. I know I sound ungrateful when I say I don't want them to come, but I'm still really surprised they want to. We've had so many arguments over the school I ended up picking, I figured they'd want nothing to do with thisc school. I agree that white coat ceremonies are meant for families more than the actual incoming MS-1s, so it seems silly if my parents don't come.

And anon-y-mouse, I'd love to book a hotel for my parents, but knowing them and their extreme frugality, they'd be pissed. They are pretty insistent on staying with me wherever I am...that's what I meant by "hassle." Even in undergrad, they always stayed in my tiny dorm whenever they visited.

We just had our White Coat Ceremony for Case/CCLCM a couple of weeks ago. (I think we're probably one of the earliest--I had my CCLCM white coat on July 10 right before starting M1!), and oompa loompa, you should definitely let your parents come. Nearly everyone has their parents there, and many people have their entire families, spouses, in-laws, grandparents, siblings, kids, etc. Yes, it is stressful having your parents stay with you for a couple of days. But in the long run, it will be better to have them there to share this special day with you than it will be to still be regretting having told them not to come twenty years from now. It's only for one weekend, and then they will drive home again. I survived my White Coat Ceremony more or less with my sanity intact, and you will, too.

-CCLCMer

 

[RaaMD]

def. bring the parents.

 

[Messerschmitts]

Hell yeah my parents are flying all the way out there for me! They're so proud of me, and I want to enjoy some gloating.

 

[78222]

By the way, do I have to attend this thing?

 

[8744]

...We have an oath signing ceremony before instruction begins...

That's just creepy.

 

[Callogician]

Why would they feel guilty -- your parents have no genuine interest in these sorts of things? I know you proclaimed your disdain for the trite and gushy (I share it too), but why would your *parents* feel guilty?

My parents would have genuine interest if I wanted them to come.

 

[gdbaby]

I'm 34 years old and my mom is coming.

 

[OSUdoc08]

current med students: how many of your parents actually attended your white coat ceremony?

ours is held before classes even start! it seems kind of pointless to me, and I don't think it's necessary for my parents to drive all the way over (it's ~4 hours away). Not to mention all the hassle of getting my parents settled in my place (we don't have the best relationship however they are my parents so I gotta make room for them). Anyway, they really seem to want to come. How can I convince them that it's not worth it to come?

Thats the purpose of it. My parents were thrilled to come.

If you hate your parents, don't invite them & seek counseling.

 

[lilnoelle]

I wish my parents were coming. I told my Mom about a month ago, she misunderstood what day I said and thought she had something important planned for that day. So I invited my husband's parents instead. They've already taken off work for it... then I find out Mom is free the day of the ceremony, busy the day after! Anyway, I'm a little disapointed, but didn't feel I could uninvite my husband's family (I'm limited to three guests).
Oh well, they'll come to my graduation.

 

[strawberryfield]

I really wanted my parents to come to mine also, but they are not able to take off work and make it, I hope I won't be the only one there w/o family attending