Parents House vs. Apartment

[SoSimplyKari]

I'm feeling kind of stuck and am hoping to get some other feedback on my current housing situation.

Right now I'm living with a roommate about 10 minutes from my school. It's a great setup and I love the house, but my roommate is the home owner and is having 2 other girls move in to lower the rent - sounds great, right? Well, no. This new arrangement means the other 2 girls and I will now be sharing one small bathroom, and that is not going to work for me, so I will be moving out in May.

Should I go ahead and move into an apartment on my own and pay double the rent I currently am or should I move back to my parent's house (about 30 minutes from my school in good traffic and weather)? And if I did go with the apartment, should I move in with my boyfriend?

My parents would love to have me home and it would save so much money, but I really cannot study there and do enjoy living on my own.

I'm feeling very stuck - if money were not an option, I know exactly what I would do, but the cost of school alone is killing me - I don't know that the extra rent cost is worth it.

I'd love to hear everyone's opinions and ideas.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[Chrissisissi]

Move into a cheaply priced single without your boyfriend that will be close to your school. Moving in with a boyfriend can be very stressful and I think you should avoid this while necessary in med school. But that's just me.

 

[yugo2113]

.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

Find a new roommate - this would meet your needs of (1) keeping your independence from your parents, (2) keeping your rent down

 

[SoSimplyKari]

As easy as finding a new roommate would be, I don't think I am the "roommate type". Unless it is my boyfriend I'm not considering any other roommates. It would be a great idea, but I just can't do it - I like to clean in my own way and have things in their correct places and am really struggling with maintaining my relationship with my boyfriend and not being able to have him come and go as we please.

 

[boogaloo]

I would suggest being closer to the school or hospital.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

As easy as finding a new roommate would be, I don't think I am the "roommate type". Unless it is my boyfriend I'm not considering any other roommates. It would be a great idea, but I just can't do it - I like to clean in my own way and have things in their correct places and am really struggling with maintaining my relationship with my boyfriend and not being able to have him come and go as we please.

Well based on what you are telling us, there doesn't seem to be a "perfect" solution, so you are going to have to compromise.

Either:
-Move out on your own and find a way to make it work financially (either by compromising on the size and location of your place, or by increasing your burden of debt)
-Move in with your parents and compromise your studying efficiency and independence
-Move in with your boyfriend and deal with the challenges that come with cohabitating in a relationship

 

[J ROD]

I moved in with my GF and regret it. Things get real then. Little things.....become big things etc. Unless they are medical themselves they will not understand the pressure you are under. I lived at home to save money before this and it was better for me to be home than deal with this drama. Now, I am trying to get out.

My best advice is to find a place by yourself so you can do what the hell you want when you need to do what you have to do. We have to study, work crazy schedules so it is best if you can fully control your environment. Try and find a reasonable, priced place and save some $ there and then gas, etc. What is a little more debt if it helps you get to the end. We all will make enough to pay the loans off unless you buy stupid expensive things when you get out. If you have some sense and live more reasonable no problem.

 

[Cmaster]

I'm feeling kind of stuck and am hoping to get some other feedback on my current housing situation.

Right now I'm living with a roommate about 10 minutes from my school. It's a great setup and I love the house, but my roommate is the home owner and is having 2 other girls move in to lower the rent - sounds great, right? Well, no. This new arrangement means the other 2 girls and I will now be sharing one small bathroom, and that is not going to work for me, so I will be moving out in May.

Should I go ahead and move into an apartment on my own and pay double the rent I currently am or should I move back to my parent's house (about 30 minutes from my school in good traffic and weather)? And if I did go with the apartment, should I move in with my boyfriend?

My parents would love to have me home and it would save so much money, but I really cannot study there and do enjoy living on my own.

I'm feeling very stuck - if money were not an option, I know exactly what I would do, but the cost of school alone is killing me - I don't know that the extra rent cost is worth it.

I'd love to hear everyone's opinions and ideas.

Find another roommate. Send a message to the newly accepted students at your school and room with one of them

 

[Snoopy2006]

"And if I did go with the apartment, should I move in with my boyfriend? "

I laughed, but then realized that wasn't a joke.

To get this straight ... you're asking random faceless people on the interwebz (who have absolutely no idea who you are as a person, what your likes/dislikes are, who your boyfriend is, how close the two of you are, the nature of your relationship) advice on whether or not to move in with your boyfriend? How can anyone who doesn't know you (or your boyfriend) possibly answer this?

Rent may be a bitch but you'll be deep in loans anyway by the time you graduate. In the long run, only you know how much of a difference that extra $25000 (or whatever it is where you live) will make in your happiness and ability to repay your loans.

 

[evilbooyaa]

I think if you have to ask whether you should live with your boyfriend on an anonymous internet forum, you shouldn't do it.

If finding new roommates isn't for you, then just get a place by yourself. Depending on the locale, it may not be a complete doubling of rent. I skimp on a lot of things, but a place to live that lets me not have to deal with the pressures of my parents or other students is pretty important to me at this stage in my life.

 

[dap]

As easy as finding a new roommate would be, I don't think I am the "roommate type". Unless it is my boyfriend I'm not considering any other roommates. It would be a great idea, but I just can't do it - I like to clean in my own way and have things in their correct places and am really struggling with maintaining my relationship with my boyfriend and not being able to have him come and go as we please.

As a married man, I strongly advise you not to move in with your boyfriend while already under the pressure of medical school. "Your own way" of cleaning is going to be different from your boyfriend's. Your idea of what constitutes clean vs. dirty and how long something can go between cleanings is going to be different from your boyfriend's. And "things' correct places" are most definitely going to be different for your boyfriend.

 

[Mad Jack]

Most relationships that are between non-medical students and med students end before school is over. Moving in would be a big risk, but so would dying alone, so I'm leaving this one up to you OP.

 

[thefritz]

I moved in with my GF and regret it.

Moving in with my gf was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made in my life. If you are with someone long enough, eventually it will become financially "convenient" for you to live together. Unless you are ready to get married, DON'T DO THIS. Spend the extra money and live apart. People who move in together either go one of two ways (1) they get married (2) have a total near life/career ending end of relationship meltdown disaster because it was strung out far far too long. Moving in together all but precludes the chance of ever having a normal, mutual, end of relationship breakup.

Edit: let me reiterate in no uncertain terms. Living alone in the nastiest cheapest most dangerous neighborhood 20 miles away from school would be far better than living with your boyfriend in a brand new house right next to medical school.

 

[Kahreek]

wish my parents were 30 minutes away

 

[J ROD]

As a married man, I strongly advise you not to move in with your boyfriend while already under the pressure of medical school. "Your own way" of cleaning is going to be different from your boyfriend's. Your idea of what constitutes clean vs. dirty and how long something can go between cleanings is going to be different from your boyfriend's. And "things' correct places" are most definitely going to be different for your boyfriend.

I swear I never thought that would be the major points of argue but it is along with our dogs. We each have one and argue over how to do things with them. I never realized how messy she is and how clean I am. It really is the small things.

 

[SoSimplyKari]

I should probably make clear that my boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and have purchased the engagement ring - just waiting for him to propose in his way when he's ready. Not just a "been together a few months" type relationship. He's well aware of my OCD and I've trained him on how to clean lol

 

[J ROD]

Yeah, we all think we know before we get into it. Go ahead......give it a try....just don't come back and whine about it. You have been warned.

Just remember.......one day you gonna wake up and ask, what are you still doing here....don't you have to go home.....wait. He is home. Oh ****!!

 

[Kale01]

Coming from someone who currently works to pay the bills (unlike most of the posters in this thread who are probably still students living off what seems to be "free money" aka loans), I'd say live with your parents for free and learn to study there, or study at a library while living at home. One day, you'll be grateful for the money you can save (including interest).

 

[Chrissisissi]

Wait until the ring is on your finger woman! And Kale I'm pretty sure most med students understand the amount of debt we are in thank you very much. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to do well and sometimes that means spending money on a quiet low stress environment.

 

[HLxDrummer]

Ya.. how much will rent add up to? Seems like a lot but in the big scheme of things it isn't bad.

 

[GangaMaster]

What the hell do you mean you guys purchased the engagement ring and are waiting for him to propose in his way? What world is this?

 

[SoSimplyKari]

What the hell do you mean you guys purchased the engagement ring and are waiting for him to propose in his way? What world is this?

We decided that since you will be wearing the ring every day, you should enjoy what you are wearing. So, we picked it out together (modern, I know). We're also open about our finances, so he let me know that he purchased it so it wouldn't create any awkward tensions should the topic of income or savings come up. Will he still surprise me with a proposal? Of course. Will it still be special? Yes.

It's called being honest with each other and working together towards a common goal. Hate as you will, but it was the right decision for us.

 

[evilbooyaa]

What the hell do you mean you guys purchased the engagement ring and are waiting for him to propose in his way? What world is this?

I've heard of couples doing this in the past 1-3 years. In my n=2 experience it's been one Indian couple and one Chinese couple (the situation is that they have met each other's parents, all parents are happy and pretty much start planning the wedding prior to an official engagement). This isn't to say that other races couldn't do it, but it's not unheard of.

 

[SouthernSurgeon]

I've heard of couples doing this in the past 1-3 years. In my n=2 experience it's been one Indian couple and one Chinese couple (the situation is that they have met each other's parents, all parents are happy and pretty much start planning the wedding prior to an official engagement). This isn't to say that other races couldn't do it, but it's not unheard of.

Eh i know several girls who have been involved in the picking of the ring well in advance of getting engaged. They are all white and high-maintenance, if we're throwing stereotypes out there...

 

[evilbooyaa]

Eh i know several girls who have been involved in the picking of the ring well in advance of getting engaged. They are all white and high-maintenance, if we're throwing stereotypes out there...

Understandable. If you have a girl who is going to be annoyed at the engagement ring you buy by yourself, then just take her with you (if you want to still marry her in the first place).

One of the couples was a special situation b/c one of the girl's relatives was a jeweller and thus could get the groom-to-be a really good deal.