Parents keep telling me I will never become a doctor! What should I do?

[durfen]

I believe this is probably because of their arranged marriage.

Every kind of marriage has problems man, heh.

It saddens me that parents can lose confidence in their kids...aren't they supposed to believe that they're the best in the world and should only have the best? Your parents seem the realistic type, just that they're basing their realism on bad information. So give them good information. Give them stats, and they'll agree with you. Tell them you have a plan and this is it. Talk to your premed advisor and draw one up, bring your parents to talk to the advisor if you like.

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[Raihan Mirza]

Dude you will fail in life if you let a person stick a finger at you and say that you are no good. There are many people in the world who struggled 100 times worse than you. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Now he is one of the greatest basketball players of all times. Chris Gardner from "The Pursuit of Happyness" was abandoned by his own father and left to the vicious rage of a mean-spirited and abusive father. Gardner faced circumstances that left him and his toddler son homeless living in the streets. Now Gardner is a successful broker and founder of Gardner Rich & Company, a multimillion-dollar brokerage firm. Never let someone tell you that you can't do something. Your actions and only your actions will determine your outcome. If you have a dream, you gotta protect it and not let anyone stand in the way of achieving that dream.

 

[momtwo]

I ask my brothers, sisters, colleagues and friends for life here at Student Doctor Network, will you help me achieve these dreams to whatever way you can? Can you please give me some advice. I have confidence I can achieve my dreams but I will need you guidance. I thank you for your time.

It is a real shame your parents can't offer you encouragement. Your parents are not doing their job. You have no time to worry about that - you just need to do as the other posters have told you - respect your parents but do not let them hold you back from your dreams. Find your encouragement from within yourself and find good support networks in friends and maybe other relatives (and of course here on SDN). I can understand the whole thing about wanting to prove your parents wrong - and you will prove them wrong no matter what career goal you attain b/c (unless it's a pharmacist) it will never be what THEY wanted for you. Please don't set your sights ONLY on MD so early though- - let that unfold as you grow - - and if that is what you choose to do - - you'll do it!

 

[ntsystematic]

Never give up your dreams and never let anyone tell you you can't be everything you always wanted to be.

 

[?DreamsRMadeOf]

These books may be of interest to you.

http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents...5724020?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1178330020&sr=8-1

http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Bla...8734267-5724020?ie=UTF8&qid=1178330020&sr=8-1

GL

 

[lunaire]

I am currently a High School Senior. I ended up making some mistakes in high school and now I am ending up going to a regular city college, not a community college. This got my parents really pissed because they had originally planned on me applying to a pharmacy school. They told me a few months before my college admission process to apply to Pharmacy schools. I never wanted to be a pharmacist because I feel I am capable of doing much better and can apply myself and get through medical school to become a doctor. (Not to say that being a pharmacist is a bad career, because I believe it is one of the top careers in the science field.) Besides trying to force me into a career that I never chose to pursue, my parents always argues with each other everyday. I believe this is probably because of their arranged marriage. They argued even more whenever I had huge standardized exams to study for such as the SATs. I remember every single night during the period while I was studying for the SATs, I would cry myself to sleep. After getting low scores on my SATs my mother has always acted like a b!tch, treating me like crap calling me a midget and a bastard. My father is just as worse calling me a son of a b!tch. They also had done this before but now they do it more often, like every single day. I am a good student. In my high school I am ranked 14 in a class of 500 students. I have a 3.92 cumulative GPA and am hard working. But I have met my demise after my parents started arguing. With low SAT scores but a high GPA I ended up getting accepted to Binghamton University, Stony Brook Waitlisted, CUNY Hunter and CUNY City College. I really wanted to go to Binghamton, but parents won’t let me go cause of its tuition of about $14,000 and they don’t want me dorming. They said they want me to go to Stony by taking the Railroad every morning and commuting if I get accepted. So far I am probably going to go to CUNY Hunter and do pre-med. But every single day, my both my parents b!tch at me saying that I can never be a doctor after what happened on my SATs. They say I am going to **** up on the MCATs like the SATs. I feel like cursing my parents out and telling them that the reason why I got such low scores was because of their arguing while I tried to study. They would literally stand right next to me and start arguing as if I wasn’t next to them. I feel like telling them how I feel, but I know that they will start b!tching at me even more. I dream about studying really hard in whatever college I get into and get an above average score on my MCATs and try extremely hard to maintain a 4.0 GPA and commit myself to unique EC that will get me into medical school. I dream about applying and then one day getting accepted to medical schools such as John Hopkins or Harvard and proving my parents wrong. I dream one day I will write a book describing my struggle. I know I can achieve these dream if I work hard enough. I will never give up. When my body says stop my spirit will always say “NEVER!” For this reason I ask my brothers, sisters, colleagues and friends for life here at Student Doctor Network, will you help me achieve these dreams to whatever way you can? Can you please give me some advice. I have confidence I can achieve my dreams but I will need you guidance. I thank you for your time.

So why exactly are you choosing an MD over a Pharm D? Do you even know the medical field well enough to know you want to do this for sure (have you shadow a physician, do extensive clinical volunteering, etc)?

While you shouldn't let your parents run your life for you, you should also be sure that YOU are steering yourself in the right direction.

 

[GoGoPandaBot]

finding the receipt...

 

[Dr Who]

The best revenge is to ace the MCATs and get accepted into med school.

When you graduate send them an autographed picture of yourself after graduation holding up the diploma that reads (your name here) M.D.

 

[dutchman]

If your parents are calling you names, move out of the house as soon as you can. Not acceptable IMO.

 

[crx7]

How low of an SAT is it? Did you take it more than once. I took the PSAT and then the SAT twice and was happy with my second score. Here in college I just took the MCAT, I don't think I did that well, test day jitters and the like though I was scoring high on practice MCATs. If I don't get the grade I want I will study this summer and take it again. If at first you don't succeed try again. Parents and the majority of your friends will not get on board until you've show you can do well consistently. There were only two people who thought I could succeed coming back to school as a non-traditional student and neither of my parents are included in that number. Keep trying and prove yourself to them.

 

[Wanna_B_Scutty]

If your parents are calling you names, move out of the house as soon as you can. Not accepyable IMO.

Agree with this. No one likes debt, but tis better to owe wads of cash freely than to suffer from a toxic family life. Your parents' issues are clealy harming you OP, and it would be good for you to remove yourself from their toxicity.

 

[Cirrus83]

Dude, don't let your parents decide where you go to school...if they don't wanna pay, stop being a wuss and go get some serious loans, they're out there if you're willing to pay, and it's not like stony brook or binghamton are super expensive, they're friggin' sunys.

Hell I still owe like 23K from college, but I know my ex-roommie never had any help from his parents and he still went to a private university that cost almost 40K a year our senior year. He of course ended up owing about 80K, but he's doing just fine now (makes 70K+ a year as a programmer). Sure his loan payments suck, but even with them he has plenty of cash leftover.

 

[jojocola]

the greatest revenge is success

 

[badasshairday]

the greatest revenge is success

True dat true dat.

 

[Andrewosu]

Dude, just whoop ass. Stop acting like a fanny pack.

 

[musiclink213]

I really wonder at what age do people grow up and start taking responsibility for their own actions. So your parents were fighting when you took your SATs. My mom was basically dying when I took mine, the doctors told her to get her finances and all that stuff in order because they had run out of options. Thankfully, I believe it was some miracle, but she's more or less doing pretty well now.

Anyway, why blame your parents for a low SAT score? It's not like they chained you to the house while you studied, you could have very easily gone down to the library to study. I didn't study for my SAT or my classes at home, I couldn't handle it, so I went to the library or Starbucks everyday. Listen, if you want to go to Bing, go to Binghamton. Otherwise, if something goes wrong at Hunter, you'll be blaming your parents that they made you go to Hunter and because of that, you didn't get the same opportunuties or whatever. BTW, it's not true, Hunter is a fine school, and people get into med school;s from there, but it would be very easy to blame your parents for not getting in.

First year I applied to med school, I didn't get in. I got mad, told my parents the reason I didn't get in was because I went to the school they wanted me to go to. Then I realized they didn't force me to go there,they couldn't have. They made a suggestion adn I took it. And I went to a good school, i just didn't have the luck. So you really need to start taking responsibilities for your own actions, they can't force you to go to Hunter or Stonybrook, they can strongly suggest it, but they can't force you.

 

[Ms MD]

OMG ... don't give up!!!! How you did in high school DOES NOT matter whatsoever in Medical School admissions. If you study real hard during undergrad, and are really committed, you can prolly go to med school. Work on grades, MCATS, and some nice extracurriculars - hospital volunteering and research. I'm sorry that your parents are discouraging you. That makes me sad. But when I was in HS ... I actually had a professor tell me, half-jokngly - don't ever pursue a career in science - since I had some trouble with Gen Chem. And look at me now .... I'm going to be a doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd hope that any negative comments you get make you work harder to get where you really want to be. I wish you the best of luck, and message me anytime! You can definitely do it!!
Hard work can get you where you want to go!!! Like they say: Reach for the moon, if you miss, you'll land among the stars. As long as you work hard, there will be great opportunities there for you.

 

[NervousNed]

I really wonder at what age do people grow up and start taking responsibility for their own actions. So your parents were fighting when you took your SATs. My mom was basically dying when I took mine, the doctors told her to get her finances and all that stuff in order because they had run out of options. Thankfully, I believe it was some miracle, but she's more or less doing pretty well now.

Anyway, why blame your parents for a low SAT score? It's not like they chained you to the house while you studied, you could have very easily gone down to the library to study. I didn't study for my SAT or my classes at home, I couldn't handle it, so I went to the library or Starbucks everyday. Listen, if you want to go to Bing, go to Binghamton. Otherwise, if something goes wrong at Hunter, you'll be blaming your parents that they made you go to Hunter and because of that, you didn't get the same opportunuties or whatever. BTW, it's not true, Hunter is a fine school, and people get into med school;s from there, but it would be very easy to blame your parents for not getting in.

First year I applied to med school, I didn't get in. I got mad, told my parents the reason I didn't get in was because I went to the school they wanted me to go to. Then I realized they didn't force me to go there,they couldn't have. They made a suggestion adn I took it. And I went to a good school, i just didn't have the luck. So you really need to start taking responsibilities for your own actions, they can't force you to go to Hunter or Stonybrook, they can strongly suggest it, but they can't force you.

congradulations want a cookie? just because you made it through your ordeal, doesn't mean the task is simple for him to overcome , clearly he has abusive parents, hes just coming out of highschool, he's being called names like midget, bastard...having abusive parents like that can have a very negative effect on a persons life...i really don't think comments like 'quit being a baby' or 'grow up' are all that constructive...but hey, thats what it takes to be a doctor right? being totally apathetic towards a persons situation, pushing them down further when they are already down right?

 

[Institute]

I am currently a High School Senior. I ended up making some mistakes in high school and now I am ending up going to a regular city college, not a community college. This got my parents really pissed because they had originally planned on me applying to a pharmacy school. They told me a few months before my college admission process to apply to Pharmacy schools. I never wanted to be a pharmacist because I feel I am capable of doing much better and can apply myself and get through medical school to become a doctor. (Not to say that being a pharmacist is a bad career, because I believe it is one of the top careers in the science field.) Besides trying to force me into a career that I never chose to pursue, my parents always argues with each other everyday. I believe this is probably because of their arranged marriage. They argued even more whenever I had huge standardized exams to study for such as the SATs. I remember every single night during the period while I was studying for the SATs, I would cry myself to sleep. After getting low scores on my SATs my mother has always acted like a b!tch, treating me like crap calling me a midget and a bastard. My father is just as worse calling me a son of a b!tch. They also had done this before but now they do it more often, like every single day. I am a good student. In my high school I am ranked 14 in a class of 500 students. I have a 3.92 cumulative GPA and am hard working. But I have met my demise after my parents started arguing. With low SAT scores but a high GPA I ended up getting accepted to Binghamton University, Stony Brook Waitlisted, CUNY Hunter and CUNY City College. I really wanted to go to Binghamton, but parents won’t let me go cause of its tuition of about $14,000 and they don’t want me dorming. They said they want me to go to Stony by taking the Railroad every morning and commuting if I get accepted. So far I am probably going to go to CUNY Hunter and do pre-med. But every single day, my both my parents b!tch at me saying that I can never be a doctor after what happened on my SATs. They say I am going to **** up on the MCATs like the SATs. I feel like cursing my parents out and telling them that the reason why I got such low scores was because of their arguing while I tried to study. They would literally stand right next to me and start arguing as if I wasn’t next to them. I feel like telling them how I feel, but I know that they will start b!tching at me even more. I dream about studying really hard in whatever college I get into and get an above average score on my MCATs and try extremely hard to maintain a 4.0 GPA and commit myself to unique EC that will get me into medical school. I dream about applying and then one day getting accepted to medical schools such as John Hopkins or Harvard and proving my parents wrong. I dream one day I will write a book describing my struggle. I know I can achieve these dream if I work hard enough. I will never give up. When my body says stop my spirit will always say “NEVER!” For this reason I ask my brothers, sisters, colleagues and friends for life here at Student Doctor Network, will you help me achieve these dreams to whatever way you can? Can you please give me some advice. I have confidence I can achieve my dreams but I will need you guidance. I thank you for your time.

Oh mannnn, do I know where you're coming from. I can also tell you're probably asian (probably south asian like myself). At what point in time are you just gonna man up and ignore what they say about you becoming a doctor? You know exactly what you need to get done and the burden of proof is on you to prove them wrong. At this point in time, the chatter that comes from your parents should be nothing more than background noise while you're getting work done. The key is to just study hard and focus. If you let extraneous stuff get you down, you'll forever worry and it will take it's toll on your grades. Your mentality should be one where nothing is impossible and everything is possible. Doubting yourself will kill you. Your mindset should constantly be on attack mode when focusing on school. KILL KILL KILL, ANNIHILATE ANNIHILATE ANNIHILATE. When you walk, your head should be up high, not looking down at the ground. When you walk into a classroom, walk with your chest out, proclaiming 'this is my jungle'. If you get confused, relax, take a brief walk and come back for another dogfight with your material. When your parents put you down, block it out and just let your concious smile because you know who you are and you know the capability of what you can do. The world is your oyster, go and get it.

 

[Institute]

I really wonder at what age do people grow up and start taking responsibility for their own actions. So your parents were fighting when you took your SATs. My mom was basically dying when I took mine, the doctors told her to get her finances and all that stuff in order because they had run out of options. Thankfully, I believe it was some miracle, but she's more or less doing pretty well now.

Anyway, why blame your parents for a low SAT score? It's not like they chained you to the house while you studied, you could have very easily gone down to the library to study. I didn't study for my SAT or my classes at home, I couldn't handle it, so I went to the library or Starbucks everyday. Listen, if you want to go to Bing, go to Binghamton. Otherwise, if something goes wrong at Hunter, you'll be blaming your parents that they made you go to Hunter and because of that, you didn't get the same opportunuties or whatever. BTW, it's not true, Hunter is a fine school, and people get into med school;s from there, but it would be very easy to blame your parents for not getting in.

First year I applied to med school, I didn't get in. I got mad, told my parents the reason I didn't get in was because I went to the school they wanted me to go to. Then I realized they didn't force me to go there,they couldn't have. They made a suggestion adn I took it. And I went to a good school, i just didn't have the luck. So you really need to start taking responsibilities for your own actions, they can't force you to go to Hunter or Stonybrook, they can strongly suggest it, but they can't force you.

It's much easier said than done, and it varies from culture to culture. I'm sure you've had a rough road and I agree with you, he should take responsibility for his actions, but he has to first figure out who he is inside.