Parents speak with admissions

[docdaneeka123]

**EDIT** I think I've got a pretty clear consensus here. Thanks for your thoughts/opinions, carry on then.

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[milkphlegm]

I think it will hurt you more than help you if your parents spoke to the admissions office. You, not your parents, should be the one to making an appointment with the dean or sending a letter of interest stating your arguments.

 

[docdaneeka123]

I think it will hurt you more than help you if your parents spoke to the admissions office. You, not your parents, should be the one to making an appointment with the dean or sending a letter of interest stating your arguments.

I mostly agree with you. Though my parents have some weird way of influencing others that I think may in fact be jedi mind powers.

What about if we scheduled an appointment with admissions that involved my parents, admissions, and myself? I think that could be productive actually. Especially since my interactions with the adcom have been really positive.

 

[KnuxNole]

Hey all--

I'm on a somewhat favorable position on waitlist this cycle, and have another acceptance elsewhere. My parents have expressed a strong desire to go to the school in person and speak with admissions about my position. They are confident that they can influence my chances. This ended up happening during my undergrad, and was successful. But of course this is a different ball game. Mostly they want to express why I'd be more fit for this waitlist school than the other, and that it is a huge financial/familiar burden if I went elsewhere.

I'd appreciate constructive statements on this matter, rather than the whole 'cut the umbilical cord' sentiment.

Thanks all

I wouldn't have them do it. Are they connected with the school in any way? Having them talk to them will have 0 benefit to it.

 

[darkjedi]

if your parents actually went into the adcom to try and push your application, that seems like it would majorly hurt your case as it would look like you lack the maturity to deal with the admissions process yourself.

unless your parents are faculty members at the school, I feel like they would be laughed out

 

[Member 331305]

I mostly agree with you. Though my parents have some weird way of influencing others that I think may in fact be jedi mind powers.

What about if we scheduled an appointment with admissions that involved my parents, admissions, and myself? I think that could be productive actually. Especially since my interactions with the adcom have been really positive.

No no no no no. Things will not go well if you give the school even the remotest impression that you depend on mommy and daddy to fix your problems. You need to show the school that you are independent and able to fend for yourself like an adult.

 

[Pons Asinorum]

Please don't let your parents do this. It you come off that waitlist, it will be in spite of your parents attempts to make you appear as immature and coddled as humanly possible.

 

[Ost3oclast]

Please don't let your parents do this. It you come off that waitlist, it will be in spite of your parents attempts to make you appear as immature and coddled as humanly possible.

Yep....

 

[IncognitoGuy]

In general, taking matters into your own hands like this is unlikely to work. What you'd project is that you or your parents think you know better than the adcom. The adcom - who has years and years of experience choosing from among a crowd the applicants they believe are a fit for the school. And imagine if somebody tried to snatch that away from you, if you were in their position.. how would you react? You and your parents barely know the first thing about what goes on behind closed doors regarding adcom meetings and it would be presumptuous to force the issue in this way. I realize my description is a bit dramatic, but the spirit is there: neither you nor your parents are qualified to do this (unless there's something you haven't mentioned). And what kind of image would you portray if you went to your parents first, before even trying this on your own?

Every school has a different mission, vision, fit and so forth. You can send update letters/love letters 'till you're blue in the face but ultimately, it's the school who has final say and let's face it - you don't know what they really want.

 

[docdaneeka123]

In general, taking matters into your own hands like this is unlikely to work. What you'd project is that you or your parents think you know better than the adcom. The adcom - who has years and years of experience choosing from among a crowd the applicants they believe are a fit for the school. And imagine if somebody tried to snatch that away from you, if you were in their position.. how would you react? You and your parents barely know the first thing about what goes on behind closed doors regarding adcom meetings and it would be presumptuous to force the issue in this way. I realize my description is a bit dramatic, but the spirit is there: neither you nor your parents are qualified to do this (unless there's something you haven't mentioned). And what kind of image would you portray if you went to your parents first, before even trying this on your own?

Every school has a different mission, vision, fit and so forth. You can send update letters/love letters 'till you're blue in the face but ultimately, it's the school who has final say and let's face it - you don't know what they really want.

This is true, though the same logic can be applied to job hunting. Wouldn't you do everything in your grasp to get that job? I realize that the adcom has their own agenda, but it can be influenced by my willingness to go there, my intent, and my own intentions.

Plus, it's a bit complicated by the fact that this is a waitlist spot. So, it's mostly a matter of getting an earlier offer than later if possible. This is something that they are capable of doing if they have reason to.

 

[Ost3oclast]

but it can be influenced by my willingness to go there, my intent, and my own intentions.

Your willingness, intent and intentions are going to be no different than any other applicant in your position......

 

[KnuxNole]

This is true, though the same logic can be applied to job hunting. Wouldn't you do everything in your grasp to get that job? I realize that the adcom has their own agenda, but it can be influenced by my willingness to go there, my intent, and my own intentions.

Plus, it's a bit complicated by the fact that this is a waitlist spot. So, it's mostly a matter of getting an earlier offer than later if possible. This is something that they are capable of doing if they have reason to.

You seriously think having parents vouch for someone at a job interview is socially acceptable? That isn't true(unless the parents have DIRECT connections). Sorry, but having your parents vouch for an adult is not mature looking at all. I don't care how "convincing" they are...they will get laughed at, you will get called out, it won't be a pretty sight.

A better question is: "How are they capable of doing so?". What can they do that doesn't ever show that this applicant, who is a mature adult, has to bring mom+dad into the picture.

 

[sinombre]

You seriously think having parents vouch for someone at a job interview is socially acceptable? That isn't true(unless the parents have DIRECT connections). Sorry, but having your parents vouch for an adult is not mature looking at all. I don't care how "convincing" they are...they will get laughed at, you will get called out, it won't be a pretty sight.

 

[IncognitoGuy]

This is true, though the same logic can be applied to job hunting. Wouldn't you do everything in your grasp to get that job? I realize that the adcom has their own agenda, but it can be influenced by my willingness to go there, my intent, and my own intentions.

Plus, it's a bit complicated by the fact that this is a waitlist spot. So, it's mostly a matter of getting an earlier offer than later if possible. This is something that they are capable of doing if they have reason to.

Agreed. But again, there is a system for this - update letters and so forth (unless the school doesn't do this, in which case ). I can understand really wanting to go to a school, but like Ost3oclast said, how is this any different than the other sea of people on the waitlist?

The problem with involving your parents is that they are just that - your parents. There is no way they will ever give an impartial assessment of you, or be believed that they are. You're their child and presumably they want you to succeed, so their credibility is out the window from the get-go.

You seriously think having parents vouch for someone at a job interview is socially acceptable? That isn't true(unless the parents have DIRECT connections). Sorry, but having your parents vouch for an adult is not mature looking at all. I don't care how "convincing" they are...they will get laughed at, you will get called out, it won't be a pretty sight.

I'm pretty sure he's referring more to the no-holds-barred approach to making yourself stand out. Involving his parents is just one possibility.

 

[docdaneeka123]

You seriously think having parents vouch for someone at a job interview is socially acceptable? That isn't true(unless the parents have DIRECT connections). Sorry, but having your parents vouch for an adult is not mature looking at all. I don't care how "convincing" they are...they will get laughed at, you will get called out, it won't be a pretty sight.

A better question is: "How are they capable of doing so?". What can they do that doesn't ever show that this applicant, who is a mature adult, has to bring mom+dad into the picture.

Parents aside, I meant in general. But yea, you're completely right. And the question is a good one, I'll have to think on it.

 

[wholeheartedly]

If that's your only chance at getting into medical school, them showing up to try to convince the adcom will pretty much blow it for you. This is never looked on favorably.

 

[jayoh]

I would be pissed if my parents wanted to talk to the adcoms for me.

 

[armybound]

do it. have your mom bring a GoPro so we can watch it, too.

 

[circulus vitios]

I think it sounds like a good idea.

 

[Mt Kilimanjaro]

Hey all--

I'm on a somewhat favorable position on waitlist this cycle. My parents have expressed a strong desire to go to the school in person and speak with admissions about my position. They are confident that they can influence my chances. This ended up happening during my undergrad, and was successful. But of course this is a different ball game. Mostly they want to express why I'd be more fit for this waitlist school than the other, and that it is a huge financial/familiar burden if I went elsewhere.

I'd appreciate constructive statements on this matter, rather than the whole 'cut the umbilical cord' sentiment.

Thanks all

Haha, wow. Is it hard to hear with that helicopter circling so close overhead?

 

[spleencakes]

I would be pissed if my parents wanted to talk to the adcoms for me.

+1. My mom actually called a school once without my knowledge. I found out about it the next day. I was so embarrassed. She was also offended and completely enraged when she found out that I planned on going to my first interview without her. idk if it's a cultural thing, but although I've gotten her to lay off a little, I found out last month that she had been in contact with students from one of the schools even though I had hidden my school materials. (Yes, I moved back into my parents' place after college. ) Reasoning didn't really help. Helicopter parents ftl


Back to the point, having your parents vouch for you will probably make you look like you're not mature or independent. On top of that, there's also a reason schools don't want letters from relatives or people close to you. At one of the places I worked at, a candidate's parents called the office with questions and the candidate was basically laughed at for the next hour. He was in and out of the building in a heartbeat on interview day. The job had less requirements than a grocery store bagger job, and they still cared whether or not an adult's parents had to call in.

If the school accepts them, just send in LOIs and updates.

 

[mystifire]

This is an unprofessional, ridiculous and all around terrible idea/plan that will make you look at best immature and at worst foolish. I would immediately tell my parents to stay out of my application cycle and go about getting off this waitlist by my own efforts.

Perhaps you should suit up and schedule and appointment with the dean of admissions in order to argue your case. Send letters of interest and update. Perhaps an additional letter of recommendation from a professional reference (your parents are not professional references). Under no circumstances should you send money or gifts to the admissions office.

Hey all--

I'm on a somewhat favorable position on waitlist this cycle. My parents have expressed a strong desire to go to the school in person and speak with admissions about my position. They are confident that they can influence my chances. This ended up happening during my undergrad, and was successful. But of course this is a different ball game. Mostly they want to express why I'd be more fit for this waitlist school than the other, and that it is a huge financial/familiar burden if I went elsewhere.

I'd appreciate constructive statements on this matter, rather than the whole 'cut the umbilical cord' sentiment.

Thanks all

 

[docdaneeka123]

+1. My mom actually called a school once without my knowledge. I found out about it the next day. I was so embarrassed. She was also offended and completely enraged when she found out that I planned on going to my first interview without her. idk if it's a cultural thing, but although I've gotten her to lay off a little, I found out last month that she had been in contact with students from one of the schools even though I had hidden my school materials. (Yes, I moved back into my parents' place after college. ) Helicopter parents ftl


Back to the point, having your parents vouch for you will probably make you look like you're not mature or independent. On top of that, there's also a reason schools don't want letters from relatives or people close to you. At one of the places I worked at, a candidate's parents called the office with questions and the candidate was basically laughed at for the next hour. He was in and out of the building in a heartbeat on interview day. The job had less requirements than a grocery store bagger job, and they still cared whether or not an adult's parents had to call in.

If the school accepts them, just send in LOIs and updates.

I agree with you. I'll have to make sure my parents understand where I stand, and avoid having them jeopardize my chances.

 

[docdaneeka123]

This is an unprofessional, ridiculous and all around terrible idea/plan that will make you look at best immature and at worst foolish. I would immediately tell my parents to stay out of my application cycle and go about getting off this waitlist by my own efforts.

Perhaps you should suit up and schedule and appointment with the dean of admissions in order to argue your case. Send letters of interest and update. Perhaps an additional letter of recommendation from a professional reference (your parents are not professional references). Under no circumstances should you send money or gifts to the admissions office.

Ah sh**, I already sent them a benz

I like your idea by the way. Mind elaborating a bit?

 

[mystifire]

Ah sh**, I already sent them a benz

I like your idea by the way. Mind elaborating a bit?

Yeah, here's some elaboration:

Grow the **** up

 

[Doctor Strange]

Let's be real here.

You are an adult now. You and your parents have a loving relationship. That's great, but there are very few cases in which your parents getting involved in your professional life is appropriate. This is not one of them. It is 100% going to backfire on you if you let your parents speak to admissions. Mommy and daddy should not be going into admissions to tell them about their little special butterfly. You're going to be seen as extremely naive and juvenile and will be laughed at behind closed doors.

Not only that, but, man, it's about time you grow the hell up. Your parents offering to meet with admissions should, at this point in your life, be something that is out of the question. This is your career, not theirs. It doesn't matter how much they want this for you; the fact of the matter is that this is an adult problem that you have to solve on your own.

tl;dr: If you let your parents talk to admissions, you're gonna have a bad time.

 

[group_theory]

An even better idea is to bring your parents with you to residency interviews. Maybe even have them join you in the pre-interview dinner. Gotta make sure the residents and faculty are nice. Maybe afterwards, have them call the program director to advocate on your behalf since they are so convincing.

Does the above seem silly? It is just as silly to have your parents call and talk to the admission committee.


(Talk to some people in Human Resources and they will have stories of applicants parents calling. They will also say it is the quickest way to get rejected.)

 

[911 Turbo]

LOL


Adcoms will think you are omega, don't do it!