I am about to enter into my pgy2 year of pm&r
I also have what movement disorder neurologists are describing as "idiopathic cervical dystonia" (i can get into the specifics of positioning, but it doesn't matter). I was diagnosed (self diagnosis, actually) during the morning of my first interview for rehab. I still went to the interview, etc. and I am not sure how weir I looked to the staff there or w/e. and how it affected their perception of me during the interview.
When I got back home I found my current neurologist and started treatment as well as continued on my interview trail so to speak. Of course my regimen wasn't optimized, etc. and I must have been "not myself" during the interviews.
I was concerned about revealing my new diagnosis to the programs and was advised to try it out on one to see what would happen.
What happened is that my file was closed in front of me, and the residency director or dept chair ( i dont know which one he was) told me he would not take me because I am a liability. This is verbatim.
I did not match initially, which could have been due to several reasons, many of them having to do with my disease.
It could have been that I did not go on as many interviews as I could and that I didnt really have "safety" choices on my rank list.
I still did A LOT of interviewing.
Since I had my official diagnosis and treatment rather close to my step 2 date , i was really unable to sit down and study well for the test for several reasons I think you all can imagine.
result, i failed step 2.
I dont know if programs knew this, and I only told one PD about it (she asked - I answered.) so anyway I did not match and wound up going to a program I had not considered. Looking back I think the program will be VERY good for me. On the note that I would be a liability, let me just say this : I'm waiting for my NY license to come in the mail. (translation for those that need it = passed step 2, passed step 3 on first attempt, finished internship, etc)
I know my writing here sounds (and is) bitter, but considering everything, I do believe that I have at least some right to it, especially in light of my interview experience. Liability???? heh Im pretty sure if that was a problem, than the spinal taps, etc etc (flouro guided as well as "blind" facet, z joint etc )that I got to do during internship would have been a problem and I may have not graduated internship.
What strikes me the most is that the person who told me I am a liability was a physiatrist.
I suppose he forgot who Dr Strax is. Maybe someone should have reminded him.
but anyway, my point isn't that the programs weren't understanding, or that they didn't have a valid reason to not rank me highly, or that for all that I know my situation was one of those statistical flukes, but that as a field, I think we need to recognize that doctors get sick, become impaired, but do find a way to become practicing physicians.
How do we , and I address this to my colleagues in PM&R ,at every level in their career, justify stating that our "job" is to improve peoples lives and help them overcome impairment and disability when we arent willing to do so for each other.
Disclaimer : yes a lot of this is based on one experience, but hell, it hurt, and it taught me some valuable lessons. I am not "attacking" any one person or our profession. I understand how and why the particular interviewer thought what he thought (note I did not say "said what he said"). However, I do think that we as a group need to do more to put our money where our mouths tend to be.
Respectfully
Brooklyn