Please help me, Failed a course twice...

[just_another_student]

---

Members don't see this ad.

Hi everyone, long time lurker in this website but I now have the courage to post.

As the title says, I failed my course twice now and I plan to take it for the third time.
More specifically, I failed General Chemistry 2... I'm so ashamed of myself for failing it the second time and even the first time. I tried reflecting why I failed and when I thought that I knew why, it turns out that I didn't which lead to my demise. I tried changing my study style and I did so much practice that I'm pretty sure that I burned out at the end since I didn't get any sleep at all the night before my exams and stress took over...
In addition, I simply couldn't wrap my head around the concepts of gen. chem 2 which doesn't make any sense since it's fairly similar to high school material I learned in class, the only difference with high school material is that its not too in-depth.

I'm just so depress/sad/embarrassed/upset and nervous right now and to top it all off, I have absolutely NO IDEA how to tell my parents about this situation. I was very honest the first time around and told them that I failed gen. chem 2 and they were very disappointed but they let me try again. But this second failure might just wreck me. I'm afraid that they might disown me as their son which sounds rough and overdramatic but if you've been living under a traditional strict asian household (where education is at all time high), then you would understand. I have no idea how to break the news to them... I just feel like crawling under a rock and a complete waste of space at the same time...

One thing that I would like to clarify is that my parents are NOT forcing me to pursue medicine, in fact, they are against me pursuing medicine since they want me to do business but I have absolutely no interest in business... It might sound selfish but I'm pursuing medicine for myself and because I want to prove to myself that I can do it...
But I'm not sure if I can still do it...

Last thing I should mention is that I'm going into my third year this year so even if I retake my Chemistry class, I'm already waaay behind from my same age classmates. I started late in my science degree since I was doing business before I decided to switch major. Since I'm late I'll end up finishing my degree a few year behind (maybe 5-6 years instead of the traditional 4 years).

PLEASE! Any help would be appreciated and Thank you for taking your time to read this post.

 

[Lannister]

1. Calm down. I know this sucks and you probably feel awful right now, but this is not the end of the world. This probably won't even matter a few years from now.
2. You're an adult. Your parents don't have to "let you" do anything, you make your own choices. How much do you depend on them financially? Will they take away financial support when they find out? If not, forget about your parents, if they're good parents then they'll get over it eventually. Failing a class does not make you a bad child or person.
3. Tell us about your study methods, can't give you advice if we don't know what went wrong.

 

[Goro]

One thing that I would like to clarify is that my parents are NOT forcing me to pursue medicine, in fact, they are against me pursuing medicine since they want me to do business but I have absolutely no interest in business... It might sound selfish but I'm pursuing medicine for myself and because I want to prove to myself that I can do it...
But I'm not sure if I can still do it...
.

I see your problem right there. The bolded is a TERRIBLE reason to pursue a career in Medicine.

A career in Medicine is a calling, not something to boost your self-esteem, or to prove something to your parents.

I suggest a visit to your school's learning or education center, and also your counseling center as well.

 

[Blanky]

If you already have the power points and have taken the tests why not learn the material/YouTube before reentering... did you take Ws or Fs?

 

[AttemptingScholar]

I'm also worried about your reasons. Have you shadowed/volunteered, especially in primary care areas? This idea that you can't pass an intro class on the second try but somehow you'll become a doctor and that'll make you proud of yourself and prove your parents wrong hints to a very idealized view of medicine. Do you actually know what you're going into?

You have two options at this point
1. Continue on this path. You had better know what you did wrong, your third try shouldn't yield anything less than an A. Caring a lot isn't the same thing as working hard.
2. Switch to an easy major, graduate with as high a GPA as you can, rack up as much volunteering/clinical as you can, go for a postbacc/SMP. A good performance in post-UG studies is more likely to make up for a poor performance now.

And learn when to give up. I feel like you could've taken a W and thought the power of hope would save you.

 

[just_another_student]

1. Calm down. I know this sucks and you probably feel awful right now, but this is not the end of the world. This probably won't even matter a few years from now.
2. You're an adult. Your parents don't have to "let you" do anything, you make your own choices. How much do you depend on them financially? Will they take away financial support when they find out? If not, forget about your parents, if they're good parents then they'll get over it eventually. Failing a class does not make you a bad child or person.
3. Tell us about your study methods, can't give you advice if we don't know what went wrong.

Sorry for the late reply, I needed a break from everything. But, Thank you for taking your time to reply.
To address some of your questions, my parents help me pay for my rent sometimes. Sometimes I'm the one who helps them financially, I don't want to sound like I'm rubbing it in but its the truth. We try to keep it balance I guess.
As for my study methods, I do practice problems but I when I get stuck in something, I kinda just quit and become demotivated that I don't know how to solve a problem. I'm also afraid to ask for help from my professor because I feel like they'll judge me for not knowing how to solve certain problems and they may even think that I'm not paying close attention to their lectures...

 

[just_another_student]

I see your problem right there. The bolded is a TERRIBLE reason to pursue a career in Medicine.

A career in Medicine is a calling, not something to boost your self-esteem, or to prove something to your parents.

I suggest a visit to your school's learning or education center, and also your counseling center as well.

I think I may have miscommunicated my reasoning for pursuing medicine and your right, the reason I gave was terrible and I apologize.
The thing is, I was clouded with so many emotions when I wrote that post and now that I took a break, I can finally see clearly again.
I really do enjoy helping people out and making a difference in their lives and when I try to look for other jobs out there, I'm always drawn back into medicine.

 

[just_another_student]

If you already have the power points and have taken the tests why not learn the material/YouTube before reentering... did you take Ws or Fs?

I took the Fs... It was a dumb idea to continue but I'm being as honest as I could get. 🙁

 

[AttemptingScholar]

Sorry for the late reply, I needed a break from everything. But, Thank you for taking your time to reply.
To address some of your questions, my parents help me pay for my rent sometimes. Sometimes I'm the one who helps them financially, I don't want to sound like I'm rubbing it in but its the truth. We try to keep it balance I guess.
As for my study methods, I do practice problems but I when I get stuck in something, I kinda just quit and become demotivated that I don't know how to solve a problem. I'm also afraid to ask for help from my professor because I feel like they'll judge me for not knowing how to solve certain problems and they may even think that I'm not paying close attention to their lectures...

Setting aside the problem of your motivations for now, I know talking to professors is difficult but you have to do it. It's their job. Trust me, they're judging you more for failing without asking for help than for asking for help on simple concepts. I once had to tell a teacher "I know we had an entire unit on this a month and a half ago, but I just can't do it" and she went on like a five minute rant about students and the problem and really made me regret asking, until she ended with "...I know, because I have the same problem with this convention as you!" Make it a habit--go to at least one professor once a week, and introduce yourself/ask extension questions/make connections between classes on the times you don't have questions about the material, and ask about the material when you do.

You will not be successful unless you ask your professors.

I'm not gonna give you advice for "I get demotivated and give up." I feel like you know what to do to fix that.

 

[just_another_student]

I'm also worried about your reasons. Have you shadowed/volunteered, especially in primary care areas? This idea that you can't pass an intro class on the second try but somehow you'll become a doctor and that'll make you proud of yourself and prove your parents wrong hints to a very idealized view of medicine. Do you actually know what you're going into?

You have two options at this point
1. Continue on this path. You had better know what you did wrong, your third try shouldn't yield anything less than an A. Caring a lot isn't the same thing as working hard.
2. Switch to an easy major, graduate with as high a GPA as you can, rack up as much volunteering/clinical as you can, go for a postbacc/SMP. A good performance in post-UG studies is more likely to make up for a poor performance now.

And learn when to give up. I feel like you could've taken a W and thought the power of hope would save you.

Thank you for your reply and I'm sorry for the late reply, I had to take a break.
I understand that my reasoning was terrible when I posted my message and I'm sorry about that. Ans Yes, I've volunteered in a rural communities in the primary care areas since I was in grade 10 and I've shadowed one doctor so far so I've seen the struggles of people who lives in the rural communities and how vital primary care physicians are.

Thank you for your options, I'll consider both options sincerely and I'll keep in mind when its time to give up.

 

[nightrider]

Sorry for the late reply, I needed a break from everything. But, Thank you for taking your time to reply.
To address some of your questions, my parents help me pay for my rent sometimes. Sometimes I'm the one who helps them financially, I don't want to sound like I'm rubbing it in but its the truth. We try to keep it balance I guess.
As for my study methods, I do practice problems but I when I get stuck in something, I kinda just quit and become demotivated that I don't know how to solve a problem. I'm also afraid to ask for help from my professor because I feel like they'll judge me for not knowing how to solve certain problems and they may even think that I'm not paying close attention to their lectures...

I can't help but agree with previous posts; you really do need to gain more perspective about what being a physician entails. However, if you are determined...it sounds like you are not appropriately analyzing what it is you need to know, and specifically, how to strategically prepare for exams. The chem 2 I took was predominantly centered around quantitative analysis, and I suspect that is equally true for you.Here's what you might consider: First, become familiar with the different types of problems you will encounter; make sure you can clearly understand what it is you are being asked to solve. Second: Reverse engineer the process; using the answer as a starting point, figure out mathematically how that answer was derived. Taking a systematic approach will likely clarify your thinking and reduce your anxiety. Good luck.

 

[863168]

I can't help but agree with previous posts; you really do need to gain more perspective about what being a physician entails.

I like your post, but I think to presume this is egregious. Don't make exaggerated speculations. They failed GChem:102, they didn't fail at WHATITMEANSTOBEAPHYS:102. To presume someone doesn't have an adequate perspective of what being a physician entails presumes that you have an adequate perspective of the entire training process from premedical to medical to residency to attending. Pondering what it means to be a physician should be treated like an esoteric question, not a speculation that comes up after someone fails a prerequisite class.