Poll: Do you plan on starting a family (kids AND significant other)

[QueenOfJunkertown5]

Surprisingly, I find strong conservative values in medicine and those seeking a career in medicine (as opposed to like engineering for example).

Let me be the first to vote. I'm Female, and completely against having a family in the future, so I voted no.

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[tibwolf]

What about those of us with (full) families already?

This seems like a topic that's fun to guess on, but as far as I've seen, people never really know what they want 5 years down the line. Life tends to happen.

 

[OrthoTraumaMD]

The term “conservative values” means different things to different people.


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[The Knife & Gun Club]

What do you mean by conservative values?

My SO and I are certainly not “conservative” but we sure as hell plan on having a family. I wouldn’t call that conservative values as much as a personal choice.

Also it’s always been my dream to own a ride-on lawn mower, and I feel like having a family is sort of a pre-requisite for that.

 

[deleted944111]

I'm female and I have started a family. As with all things, there were both biological and social factors that allow this to be a thing that makes me happy, but I wouldn't call them conservative values.

 

[NicMouse64]

In my own personal opinion if you decide to forego kids BECAUSE of medicine you are going to end up hating medicine. I was told before medicine to not give up who I am before medical school because of medical school. I plan on having kids because I'm a nihlist and see no other reason to live besides for the next generation. Basically have kids if you want to and you'll figure out how to make it work. If you don't want them then don't. /end rant

 

[NicMouse64]

Just for comparison. First picture is from entering MS1 students. The second is from graduating MS4 seniors

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Hahahahaha. 74% never married and only 8% have kids by end of medical school. Seems about right based off how my classmates are

 

[Wahed]

Building a nuclear family might be a somewhat traditional lifestyle, but in no way is it conservative.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I'm married and have two kids. So...yes?

 

[676188]

I'm married and have two kids. So...yes?

Makes you want a 'that ship has sailed' option on the poll, doesn't it?

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Makes you want a 'that ship has sailed' option on the poll, doesn't it?

Something tells me this poll is an attempt to open up an opportunity to criticize “conservative values” and the traditional idea of an American family.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Actually I was under the impression conservative in this OPs case was meaning "traditional" as in married with two kids so family centered life as opposed to political. To me this would mean, I want to be able to settle down, house, stay stable so kids have friends, get involved in schools, religious community, etc.

So perhaps "traditional" is a better term here. I think the culture of medicine is "conservative" in terms of slow to change, follow protocol, always professional etc. The values of the providers run the gamut from right to left.

That’s what I meant too. That’s as why I put it in quotes, because it’s not really political.

 

[ExcitatorySynapse]

Actually I was under the impression conservative in this OPs case was meaning "traditional" as in married with two kids so family centered life as opposed to political. To me this would mean, I want to be able to settle down, house, stay stable so kids have friends, get involved in schools, religious community, etc.

If this is the definition, then I would consider myself traditionally minded despite not being able to have a ‘traditional’ marriage. Still, I don’t know what OP means about engineers not having such values. Pretty much every engineer I know, and I went to a very liberal school, also wants a monogamous relationship, children, though I’d say most of the women seem to be much more vague about having children than the men, probably since they will be doing most of the work!
I know some people who got married in medical/grad school but they were with their partners before starting medical school. I think it will be hard but ideally I would like to at least get married within the next 12 years of training. It’ll at least be easier to meet people under the academic umbrella.

 

[QueenOfJunkertown5]

The term “conservative values” means different things to different people.


Sent from my iPhone using SDN mobile

What do you mean by conservative values?

My SO and I are certainly not “conservative” but we sure as hell plan on having a family. I wouldn’t call that conservative values as much as a personal choice.

Also it’s always been my dream to own a ride-on lawn mower, and I feel like having a family is sort of a pre-requisite for that.

I'm female and I have started a family. As with all things, there were both biological and social factors that allow this to be a thing that makes me happy, but I wouldn't call them conservative values.

Building a nuclear family might be a somewhat traditional lifestyle, but in no way is it conservative.

The definition of conservative (you can find this by typing "conservative" on google) is holding to traditional attitudes and values and cautious about change or innovation, typically in relation to politics or religion.

You don't need to be conservative on everything. This is a problem with modern politics, where you have to pick a side (left vs. right) and define yourself in those boxes and be biased towards the beliefs of your political box. But a free thinker shouldn't be limited to box placements.

Those who want children and a nuclear family, go to baseball/soccer games, mow the lawn, modest house with white picket fence etc. are conservative with respect to family values. You hold to traditional (a.k.a conservative) values on family.

That doesn't mean you have to be conservative with respect to everything else...

 

[The Knife & Gun Club]

The definition of conservative (you can find this by typing "conservative" on google) is holding to traditional attitudes and values and cautious about change or innovation, typically in relation to politics or religion.

You don't need to be conservative on everything. This is a problem with modern politics, where you have to pick a side (left vs. right) and define yourself in those boxes and be biased towards the beliefs of your political box. But a free thinker shouldn't be limited to box placements.

Those who want children and a nuclear family, go to baseball/soccer games, mow the lawn, modest house with white picket fence etc. are conservative with respect to family values. You hold to traditional (a.k.a conservative) values on family.

That doesn't mean you have to be conservative with respect to everything else...

Sooooooo.....?

 

[puahate]

No. I am a strong antinatalist

 

[militaryPHYS]

I grew up in a "traditional" household and always thought I'd devote my life to medicine and marry someone who would be an amazing stay at home mom.

Instead I met the love of my life in medical school, which happened to be the military's medical school (USUHS). We got married before internship started and had our first kiddo during our third years of residency and then our second this past year while living and serving overseas.

You can plan all you want and hold whatever values are important to you, but at the end of the day you never know where life will take you.

I would offer up that you should never assume you will follow "x" path during medical school. Keep your options open. Most people change their mind about specialty and you never know who you are going to meet or where life will take you.

Meeting someone, being a dual military and dual working couple really made me re-evaluate how I prioritize things in life. We have such a better understanding of work-life balance and I think it has contributed to our overall level happiness. Work isn't as important as it used to be and family, responsibilities at home, vacation, etc. all keep me grounded and focused on the bigger picture.

If you put your life on hold because of medicine you will have nothing else to fall back on when medicine beats you down...because that will happen.

 

[sunshinefl]

Surprisingly, I find strong conservative values in medicine and those seeking a career in medicine (as opposed to like engineering for example).

Let me be the first to vote. I'm Female, and completely against having a family in the future, so I voted no.

Why is this surprising?

 

[drbatsandwich]

Should be a "been there, done that" option

 

[PeleHonuaMea]

Oh I remember such a time when I was so certain that I would never ever get married and absolutely abhorred the idea of having kids.
Then life happened and now I'm married with too many kids.

Dont write it off just yet... nothing is final in your life until you're dead.

 

[Pagan FutureDoc]

I got married while I was a premed...My son was born before I went back to school

 

[drbatsandwich]

Oh I remember such a time when I was so certain that I would never ever get married and absolutely abhorred the idea of having kids.
Then life happened and now I'm married with too many kids.

Dont write it off just yet... nothing is final in your life until you're dead.

This... in my early 20s, I was POSITIVE I never wanted to have kids. Hated them. Then I hit 30 and every fiber of my being MUST HAVE CHILDREN NOW!!!

 

[puahate]

This... in my early 20s, I was POSITIVE I never wanted to have kids. Hated them. Then I hit 30 and every fiber of my being MUST HAVE CHILDREN NOW!!!

Eh doubt it. I think if you are a guy it's easy to not have a kid throughout life.

 

[drbatsandwich]

Eh doubt it. I think if you are a guy it's easy to not have a kid throughout life.

Unless you're celibate, it ain't a sure thing

 

[smq123]

Surprisingly, I find strong conservative values in medicine and those seeking a career in medicine (as opposed to like engineering for example).

Let me be the first to vote. I'm Female, and completely against having a family in the future, so I voted no.

I don't think that wanting a family/children has anything to do with conservative values.

My partner and I are extremely liberal, politically. But both he and I would like a family. I think that once you've taken care of your share of lonely people who have no family/friends, you start to think about children/families in a different way. Plus, medicine is stressful. It's nice to have a haven away from all that, and that usually involves having a spouse/children.

 

[676188]

I
If you put your life on hold because of medicine you will have nothing else to fall back on when medicine beats you down...because that will happen.

This...my husband has often said that when he was in a very difficult program, just knowing he had a family to come home to for support and distraction made all the difference. I hope its that way for me as well.

Oh I remember such a time when I was so certain that I would never ever get married and absolutely abhorred the idea of having kids.
Then life happened and now I'm married with too many kids.

Dont write it off just yet... nothing is final in your life until you're dead.

I was this way in high school...never babysat, never wanted kids, never liked kids. Got married and many years later, we have a bunch of kids and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[NicMouse64]

Oh I remember such a time when I was so certain that I would never ever get married and absolutely abhorred the idea of having kids.
Then life happened and now I'm married with too many kids.

Dont write it off just yet... nothing is final in your life until you're dead.

Too many kids? Is there even any such thing? lol

 

[Hass_Love_Fitness]

Too many kids? Is there even any such thing? lol

I have 2 kids and they feel like too many, but for some reason I find myself wanting a third.

 

[PeleHonuaMea]

Too many kids? Is there even any such thing? lol

Most definitely ...Too many for me, not enough for my husband .

 

[sunshinefl]

Most definitely ...Too many for me, not enough for my husband .

Haha I’m at 0. I want 1-2 and my husband wants 3-5.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Oh I remember such a time when I was so certain that I would never ever get married and absolutely abhorred the idea of having kids.
Then life happened and now I'm married with too many kids.

Dont write it off just yet... nothing is final in your life until you're dead.

Agreed. For years I swore I would never have kids because they're so annoying and disgusting. Now I have 2 whom I absolutely love.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

Too many kids? Is there even any such thing? lol

Do you have any?

 

[getdown]

Unless you're celibate, it ain't a sure thing

That's why "snip snip" is an option. Can still have fun with very low chance of getting kids.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

That's why "snip snip" is an option. Can still have fun with very low chance of getting kids.

Which is why I did the snippy snippy. Course I already have 2 kiddos, but that is plenty for me. I don't want to be outnumbered.

 

[AnatomyGrey12]

Eh doubt it. I think if you are a guy it's easy to not have a kid throughout life.

97% bro, 97%. Sooner or later just about everyone sneaks one past the goalie. Unless you want to modify the plumbing of course. It's the only way to be sure.

Which is why I did the snippy snippy. Course I already have 2 kiddos, but that is plenty for me. I don't want to be outnumbered.

I told my wife if we have another set of multiples that the moment she is stitched up post-partum I'm going down to the clinic. We want 3 though, gotta have someone for the girls to terrorize lol

 

[getdown]

I have 2 kids and they feel like too many, but for some reason I find myself wanting a third.

Don't do it. 1 is ok, 2 is tough but 3? Oh my god

Haha I’m at 0. I want 1-2 and my husband wants 3-5.

Lol he's crazy.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

97% bro, 97%. Sooner or later just about everyone sneaks one past the goalie. Unless you want to modify the plumbing of course. It's the only way to be sure.



I told my wife if we have another set of multiples that the moment she is stitched up post-partum I'm going down to the clinic. We want 3 though, gotta have someone for the girls to terrorize lol

Haha. A lot of people have trouble believing that I don't want a boy. I was okay having a boy, but we have two girls. I wanted two kids. No more. Two is more than enough work.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

I have 2 kids and they feel like too many, but for some reason I find myself wanting a third.

Good God, don't. Keep what little sanity you have left. I have two as well. I see people with three and just pity them so much lol.

 

[Osminog]

People pursuing careers in high-IQ professions should have more children in order to try to reverse dysgenics. We're all expected to pitch in when it comes to reducing anthropogenic climate change by recycling and reducing our reliance on nonrenewable resources, so why shouldn't we be expected to pitch in when it comes to slowing our society's intellectual decline?

 

[getdown]

People pursuing careers in high-IQ professions should have more children in order to try to reverse dysgenics. We're all expected to pitch in when it comes to reducing anthropogenic climate change by recycling and reducing our reliance on nonrenewable resources, so why shouldn't we be expected to pitch in when it comes to slowing our society's intellectual decline?

ban condoms !!

 

[NicMouse64]

Do you have any?

It was a joke, as I indeed do not have any kids. I am the "husband" in the other quoted situation where I want quite a few kids, but my LTR isn't in medicine and knows that I will be working a lot....Anyways I know things change but the current plan is like 4.

Haha I’m at 0. I want 1-2 and my husband wants 3-5.

Most definitely ...Too many for me, not enough for my husband .

I relate to this on a spiritual level.

People pursuing careers in high-IQ professions should have more children in order to try to reverse dysgenics. We're all expected to pitch in when it comes to reducing anthropogenic climate change by recycling and reducing our reliance on nonrenewable resources, so why shouldn't we be expected to pitch in when it comes to slowing our society's intellectual decline?

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

It was a joke, as I indeed do not have any kids. I am the "husband" in the other quoted situation where I want quite a few kids, but my LTR isn't in medicine and knows that I will be working a lot....Anyways I know things change but the current plan is like 4.

lol yeah. Wait until you have one or two. A lot of people think they want a lot of kids until they have a couple.

 

[Sagebrush]

This thread is making me so happy I got that little reproduction problem all taken care of!

Credit to all of you making it work with kids, I have no idea how you do it!

 

[dr_kateb]

Lol this thread is off the great start already

 

[dr_kateb]

You don't need to be conservative on everything. This is a problem with modern politics, where you have to pick a side (left vs. right) and define yourself in those boxes and be biased towards the beliefs of your political box. But a free thinker shouldn't be limited to box placements.

No you don't. There are plenty of people that don't simply pick a side and agree with everything a party or group has to say. I'm not really sure how this pertains to starting a family or are you just trying to stir up the volatile pre-allo forum?

Those who want children and a nuclear family, go to baseball/soccer games, mow the lawn, modest house with white picket fence etc. are conservative with respect to family values. You hold to traditional (a.k.a conservative) values on family.

Just because something is traditional doesn't mean it's conservative. Liberal and traditional aren't mutually exclusive.

 

[TheRealCookieMonster]

Just because something is traditional doesn't mean it's conservative. Liberal and traditional aren't mutually exclusive.

Not sure where you're getting this? Care to clarify?

 

[676188]

Good God, don't. Keep what little sanity you have left. I have two as well. I see people with three and just pity them so much lol.

Once you get past three and move to zone coverage instead of man-to-man, four or even five doesn't seem like a lot. That two to three transition is tough though.

 

[dr_kateb]

Not sure where you're getting this? Care to clarify?

Traditionally American values =/= conservative values.

 

[TheRealCookieMonster]

Traditionally American values =/= conservative values.

I guess if you live in China... but around these parts they kinda do equal. Even across cultures traditional is mostly conservative and vis versa.

 

[dr_kateb]

I guess if you live in China... but around these parts they kinda do equal. Even across cultures traditional is mostly conservative and vis versa.

Pretty big oversimplification. If that was the case then no liberals would be getting married. No liberals would want to get a job and earn a living. etc.