POLL: Is this appropriate?

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

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Gave professor an LOR request packet in person 4 weeks ago. She hasn’t gotten back to me yet regarding whether or not she will write it. Would it be appropriate to show up to her lecture tomorrow 15 minutes before class and the minute she comes in and settles down I can approach her and politely ask if she has made a decision? I'm not a student in her class.

 

[BuckStrickland]

Gave professor an LOR request packet in person 4 weeks ago. She hasn’t gotten back to me yet regarding whether or not she will write it. Would it be appropriate to show up to her lecture tomorrow 15 minutes before class and the minute she comes in and settles down I can approach her and politely ask if she has made a decision?

You havent talked to her in 4 weeks? She probably forgot, professors are usually very busy and table this kind of stuff unless you mention it (kind of) frequently

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

You havent talked to her in 4 weeks? She probably forgot, professors are usually very busy and table this kind of stuff unless you mention it (kind of) frequently

Just an email 2 weeks ago. No response.

 

[Lucca]

1. Have a backup plan and ask someone else on your list for an LOR. This doesn’t sound like it’ll be the most enthusiastic letter even if she writes it.

2. Don’t show up to her class to talk about it. Show up to her office hours and ask.

 

[deleted480308]

How did you not know if she would write when you left the packet?

“Will you write me a letter?” Is the first part of that conversation

 

[Welshman]

I’d do it after class or showing up to office hours is better

 

[doc05]

Office hours. Do not show up to lecture.

 

[gonnif]

I hate to say this, applicants need to give their LOR writers up to 3 months to write a letter

 

[CCresearcher]

I agree with everyone here that you should NOT show up before class to ask, but I’m going to go against the grain and recommend against asking during office hours as well. I don’t think you should ask in person at all.

The thing about asking people for favors in person is that most people have a much harder time saying no to an actual person standing in front of them. In most situations, that’s to your advantage, because you can get people to agree to do things for you! But for an LOR, it’s not good. You don’t want someone to reluctantly agree to write you one, and have a meh LOR in your packet. Most recommendations are somewhere in between glowing and effusive, and if yours isn’t it’ll stick out in a really bad way. Subpar LORs are one of the few things that can completely sink and otherwise strong app.

Instead, send the prof another nudging email. Give her a week to reply, and if she doesn’t treat it as a no and find someone else. I also always gave my potential LOR writers an easy “out” by saying something like, “I understand if you’re too busy.” That way, if they can’t write you a strong letter, they can say no easily without having to tell you they don’t know you well enough/don’t think you’d be a good doc.

 

[Matthew9Thirtyfive]

What’s the issue with talking to the prof after lecture? I wouldn’t ask before, but unless the prof has to run off right after lecture, usually they stick around for a few minutes. Definitely more convenient for everyone to just go to office hours.

You should have asked definitively when you gave them the packet and then not waited four weeks, but it is what it is. Ask them if they will write you a good letter, but give them an out by saying you understand if they’re too busy. That will mitigate them agreeing because they feel bad, which you don’t want.

 

[LizzyM]

I hate to say this, applicants need to give their LOR writers up to 3 months to write a letter

But this professor is not yet a "LOR writer". She's been asked but hasn't said yes yet.

@LoveBeingHuman:) Ask again in person (so she can put name to face) and mention that she has until late June to submit the letter but if she knows now that she isn't able to do it, you'd like to ask someone else. Give her an out so she can bow out gracefully claiming not to have the time (that can be a cover for not feeling she can give you a strong recommendation).

 

[gonnif]

But this professor is not yet a "LOR writer". She's been asked but hasn't said yes yet.

Sorry, I didn't get clear consent. Seems to a rash in society of that lately

 

[3toedsloth]

You want to show up before she teaches one of her last classes and prevent her from setting up and getting ready...

... and you want her to write you a favorable letter?

LOL

You'll get exactly the letter you deserve.

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

You want to show up before she teaches one of her last classes and prevent her from setting up and getting ready...

... and you want her to write you a favorable letter?

LOL

You'll get exactly the letter you deserve.

Realistically it will be a 30 second conversation and all she really has to do to set up is put her bags down and pull up her PowerPoint, which doesn’t need 10 minutes. Usually there’s a line of students before class waiting to ask her questions and she happily answers all of them.

So chill.

I can’t show up after class because I have my own class at that time. Same for office hours.

 

[deleted480308]

Realistically it will be a 30 second conversation and all she really has to do to set up is put her bags down and pull up her PowerPoint, which doesn’t need 10 minutes. Usually there’s a line of students before class waiting to ask her questions and she happily answers all of them.

So chill.

I can’t show up after class because I have my own class at that time. Same for office hours.

Sooooooo, you find it unacceptable to have this conversation interfere with your main priority/job of the day?

Your professor may share those feelings

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

Sooooooo, you find it unacceptable to have this conversation interfere with your main priority/job of the day?

Your professor may share those feelings

As I’ve said before, the professor is open to students before lecture.

And second of all, I would have to miss class completely to attend her OH or go after class. All I’m asking for is 30 seconds of her time before lecture that she gives students anyways.

 

[Orthopedics101]

As I’ve said before, the professor is open to students before lecture.

And second of all, I would have to miss class completely to attend her OH or go after class. All I’m asking for is 30 seconds of her time before lecture that she gives students anyways.

Idk. Just feels weird to go out of your way to confront her in a class that you aren't even a part of, especially when the people who do approach her before the class could have more pressing and relevant questions to the lecture. I would either go to her office hours or email her asking for a 1 on 1 meeting.

 

[altblue]

What’s the issue with talking to the prof after lecture? I wouldn’t ask before, but unless the prof has to run off right after lecture, usually they stick around for a few minutes. Definitely more convenient for everyone to just go to office hours.

You should have asked definitively when you gave them the packet and then not waited four weeks, but it is what it is. Ask them if they will write you a good letter, but give them an out by saying you understand if they’re too busy. That will mitigate them agreeing because they feel bad, which you don’t want.

It's usually better to let students ask questions related to the class afterward... it's more professional

 

[3toedsloth]

Realistically it will be a 30 second conversation and all she really has to do to set up is put her bags down and pull up her PowerPoint, which doesn’t need 10 minutes. Usually there’s a line of students before class waiting to ask her questions and she happily answers all of them.

So chill.

I can’t show up after class because I have my own class at that time. Same for office hours.

Have you ever taught? That little bit of prep time is precious.

You think it's not important and she'll have nothing better to do than talk to the person she's been avoiding.

Like I said before, you'll get the letter you deserve. It won't necessarily be bad. But if it's not, she'll damn you with the faintest praise.

 

[doc05]

As I’ve said before, the professor is open to students before lecture.

And second of all, I would have to miss class completely to attend her OH or go after class. All I’m asking for is 30 seconds of her time before lecture that she gives students anyways.

Approaching her right before lecture is completely unprofessional and inconsiderate. Don't do it.

 

[deleted480308]

As I’ve said before, the professor is open to students before lecture.

And second of all, I would have to miss class completely to attend her OH or go after class. All I’m asking for is 30 seconds of her time before lecture that she gives students anyways.

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

All right ya'll here's what happened:

I decided to go ahead and just go before lecture. I stood off to the side until she set everything up and afterwards, I politely rushed up to her. As soon as she saw me she said she was happy to see me and that "it's been awhile". I told her that I gave her an LOR packet one month ago and she said "Oh I didn't realize that was you without your glasses".

I've lost 30 pounds since being in her class and I wore glasses in lecture all the time. So now that I'm thinner and went to her OH last month without glasses in order to look more professional, she wasn't able to completely recognize me, especially since it's been 2 years since I was in her class. But when I went to her lecture today with my glasses on she recognized me instantly. Guess I'm just one of those people who look very different with and without my glasses

I really wish that people here didn't judge and hate on other members so much.

Spread love. Not hate.

 

[deleted480308]

All right ya'll here's what happened:

I decided to go ahead and just go before lecture. I stood off to the side until she set everything up and afterwards, I politely rushed up to her. As soon as she saw me she said she was happy to see me and that "it's been awhile". I told her that I gave her an LOR packet one month ago and she said "Oh I didn't realize that was you without your glasses".

I've lost 30 pounds since being in her class and I wore glasses in lecture all the time. So now that I'm thinner and went to her OH last month without glasses in order to look more professional, she wasn't able to completely recognize me, especially since it's been 2 years since I was in her class. But when I went to her lecture today with my glasses on she recognized me instantly. Guess I'm just one of those people who look very different with and without my glasses

I really wish that people here didn't judge and hate on other members so much.

Spread love. Not hate.

It was still the wrong way to handle it.....but nonetheless, did she agree to the letter?

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

It was still the wrong way to handle it.....but nonetheless, did she agree to the letter?

I would like to repeat again that this professor is open and willing to interact with students before lecture. In fact, she comes in extra early to interact with students sometimes.

And yes, she agreed and even added that I was one of her most memorable students.

 

[deleted480308]

I would like to repeat again that this professor is open and willing to interact with students before lecture. In fact, she comes in extra early to interact with students sometimes.

And yes, she agreed and even added that I was one of her most memorable students.

I’m going to repeat for those reading in the future that this is not at all the normal way to handle asking for a LOR

Glad it worked out for you

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

I’m going to repeat for those reading in the future that this is not at all the normal way to handle asking for a LOR

Glad it worked out for you

At the point of me writing this comment, 27/53 people responding on the thread poll said it was appropriate. Maybe the professors at your university take forever to set up before lecture, but I know how this particular professor runs her class. In fact, she appreciated me for coming in to give her an in-person reminder.

So no, your own personal opinions don't necessarily align with every situation and circumstance. You do you. But don't think that your values or opinions apply to all situations of a certain topic.

 

[freedoctor17]

Just here to add that many of my professors also usually totally open to people coming up before class. There's also many who aren't as open to it.

Whether it's "appropriate" really depends on the processor and you probably know your professor better than anyone online...

 

[drgweeds]

Lol when reading this thread. Student posts poll asking for opinions on his/her specific situation. When people respond with their own opinions, doesn't agree and goes off to do what he/she was going to do anyways. Then lectures SDN on how their opinions don't always align with every situation. Like, am I in the Twilight Zone?

 

[Rooster Booster]

I hate to say this, applicants need to give their LOR writers up to 3 months to write a letter

Well said. Need to give them enough run up time so you don't find yourself in this kind of position.

 

[LizzyM]

I guess this makes an argument for including a headshot with your packet requesting a LOR.

 

[Disciple of Sattar]

How are people "spreading hate" by saying it would be a safer bet to go to office hours? When you ask for advice, it's not rude for people to give opinions that conflict with what you were already going to do anyways.

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

How are people "spreading hate" by saying it would be a safer bet to go to office hours? When you ask for advice, it's not rude for people to give opinions that conflict with what you were already going to do anyways.

That's not what I was referring to. I was referring to people who either said or implied that I "deserve" a bad latter.

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

Lol when reading this thread. Student posts poll asking for opinions on his/her specific situation. When people respond with their own opinions, doesn't agree and goes off to do what he/she was going to do anyways. Then lectures SDN on how their opinions don't always align with every situation. Like, am I in the Twilight Zone?

Well yeah, because no one gave a valid reason for not doing it.

And in your timeline of events you forgot to mention that what I did worked out for me.

 

[drgweeds]

Well yeah, because no one gave a valid reason for not doing it.

And in your timeline of events you forgot to mention that what I did worked out for me.

Lol when reading this thread. Student posts poll asking for opinions on his/her specific situation. When people respond with their own opinions, doesn't agree and goes off to do what he/she was going to do anyways. Then lectures SDN on how their opinions don't always align with every situation after what he/she did ended up working out. Like, am I in the Twilight Zone?

Yeah, still makes me laugh. Doesn't matter if it ended up working out or not, just doesn't make sense to solicit general advise for a situation you already know the solution for.

Lol

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

Lol when reading this thread. Student posts poll asking for opinions on his/her specific situation. When people respond with their own opinions, doesn't agree and goes off to do what he/she was going to do anyways. Then lectures SDN on how their opinions don't always align with every situation after what he/she did ended up working out. Like, am I in the Twilight Zone?

Yeah, still makes me laugh. Doesn't matter if it ended up working out or not, just doesn't make sense to solicit general advise for a situation you already know the solution for.

Lol

You never know, maybe someone could have come up with a good reason to not show up before lecture. But no one did. Not my fault.

 

[drgweeds]

You never know, maybe someone could have come up with a good reason to not show up before lecture. But no one did. Not my fault.

Lol student now appears to be defining what is good and not. Also introducing idea of "fault"... Interesting.

Thanks for the fun thread

 

[LoveBeingHuman:)]

Lol student now appears to be defining what is good and not. Also introducing idea of "fault"... Interesting.

Thanks for the fun thread

Of course. Whatever gives you validation, since that’s obviously what you are looking for by making snarky comments behind a screen 🙂

 

[Goro]

Lol when reading this thread. Student posts poll asking for opinions on his/her specific situation. When people respond with their own opinions, doesn't agree and goes off to do what he/she was going to do anyways. Then lectures SDN on how their opinions don't always align with every situation. Like, am I in the Twilight Zone?

No, that's just the OP. Which is why I have him on Ignore.

 

[TelemarketingEnigma]

As soon as she saw me she said she was happy to see me and that "it's been awhile". I told her that I gave her an LOR packet one month ago and she said "Oh I didn't realize that was you without your glasses".

I am glad it worked out for you and I hope you get a great letter. But am I reading this correctly in that when you met in person to ask for the letter, she didn't realize who you were? I hope I'm reading this incorrectly, because as it's written thats... not a good sign. Glasses or no glasses, agreeing to write a letter for someone when you can't connect their face to your class is not great.

 

[gyngyn]

It appears this thread has run its course.