"Power couple" applying to med school now: how can we do this?!?

[dasacohen]

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Hey guys--

So I feel that I have a unique situation (no, please I swear read on at this point 🙂) My girlfriend and I have been going out for a little over four years. While we're not in any haste to make it official, we plan on staying together for the long run. Here's the catch, we're both applying to medical school this cycle, and consequently that adds a lot of pressure on the process as a whole. Here's the scoop.

I was accepted to Miami (10/18) and U Southern Cal (early January) early in the cycle. She was accepted to Jefferson early (10/16). After we were accepted at our schools, we both wrote emails/contacted deans about our significant other situation (how we were both applying, would like to go to the same school but not the ONLY decision factor, etc...) Schools responded amazingly. Miami un-rejected her pre-secondary and gave her a secondary within days of my notification. She had an interview at miami in late Feb. USC within a week granted her an interview which she will have in the first week in April. Jefferson granted me an interview in January within weeks after her request for me.

HERE's the problem. We keep getting on our partner's school's waitlists. Though we both felt that we did well at our interviews, because we did not initially meet the schools "requirements" and were granted interviews under the given circumstance, we've been waitlisted. I've been "High Priority" waitlisted at Jefferson, She's been waitlisted at Miami as of today.

To make matters worse, I just interviewed at UCLA (invited 1/12 but couldn't interview until 3/9). It is probably my number one choice but I have this suspicion that I will be placed on the waitlist (since my GPA and MCAT are not incredible, (33 and 3.65)). We both generally interview really well, so I doubt that the interview is the actual reason that we are not getting in...

Ideally I'd like to stay in the LA area, but we're comtemplating going to other schools to be able to be near each other (there are other factors which went into THAT decision but they're a bit more personal and I'd be glad to talk about it if you'd like to know). We've decided that for Miami/Jefferson the two are interchangable. Miami is a better setting for us californians, but Jefferson has some good opportunities and teaching too. We're focused on being clinicians above anything else, but we're both from the LA area and we'd like to go back to LA and learn medicine in the environment we'd like to be in the future.

Do you think she'll be waitlisted at USC? How should we "bargain" with Adcoms? Is it appropriate to talk to schools now in the cycle? should we wait till may? I'm so confused...help me!!!

 

[freetheyaz]

Dump her and go where you want to go. Is someone really worth changing your entire life plan around? Makes the whole situation much easier.

 

[sirus_virus]

No, dump medicine and follow her.

 

[dasacohen]

thanks...not

Dumping her and dumping medicine are both completely out of the question. This is not a play relationship, and medicine is both our passion, and we'd love to realize that in a similar setting.

Aside from dumping her, or dumping medicine, what should i do? Are there any people who have been in this situation/are a little more mature and can acually SEE the situation?

 

[TSK]

I think it's ridiculous that med schools take long-term relationships into consideration. Boyfriend/girlfriend DOES NOT equal marriage. Maybe if we all told the schools to which we were applying that we had been banging some guy/girl for several years, they'd take that into consideration in our apps...👎

 

[Towelie]

Here's what I would do.

Pick a school, Jefferson or Miami, that you would rather go to. Then, have the one of you that got in email the Dean and say "I will go to your school if you let my significant other in off of the waitlist" (not so bluntly). If that works, good. If not, try the other school and do the same thing.

If all of that fails, keep your #1 acceptances and hold on to all waitlists, and hope.

Good luck! That is a really tough situation.

EDIT: While I am not in your situation, I am married and am resigned to go to medical school pretty much wherever my spouse wants to go. If you make the sacrifice, I doubt you will regret it.

 

[gujuDoc]

You two are mean. As per serious advice, i'd venture that writing LOIs would be a good way to help your situation. i'd also see if you could do anything further to enhance your profiles i.e. some more volunteering, etc. and update them with anything new you've done. Maybe that will further show your interest in the respective schools. I'd also keep in touch with whoever is in charge with admissions at those schools.

 

[dasacohen]

I think it's ridiculous that med schools take long-term relationships into consideration. Boyfriend/girlfriend DOES NOT equal marriage. Maybe if we all told the schools to which we were applying that we had been banging some guy/girl for several years, they'd take that into consideration in our apps...👎

We're going to get married in all likelihood. I'm not just "banging" some girl. I don't think it's so wrong for committee's to consider relatinoships that are serious, since they do consider engagements and marriage. We just think its a BAD idea to get married now, or anytime soon, with stresses of medschool (not to mention money) and what not. But it's in the plan

 

[gujuDoc]

I think it's ridiculous that med schools take long-term relationships into consideration. Boyfriend/girlfriend DOES NOT equal marriage. Maybe if we all told the schools to which we were applying that we had been banging some guy/girl for several years, they'd take that into consideration in our apps...👎

Oh my god. Get a grip. If hey had great stats and ECs then I don't care if they were givn special consideration. Now if they were given special consideration and not competitive at those schools it would be another matter altogether.

 

[Bubblehead-to-MD]

Here's what I would do.

Pick a school, Jefferson or Miami, that you would rather go to. Then, have the one of you that got in email the Dean and say "I will go to your school if you let my significant other in off of the waitlist" (not so bluntly). If that works, good. If not, try the other school and do the same thing.

If all of that fails, keep your #1 acceptances and hold on to all waitlists, and hope.

Good luck! That is a really tough situation.

EDIT: While I am not in your situation, I am married and am resigned to go to medical school pretty much wherever my spouse wants to go. If you make the sacrifice, I doubt you will regret it.

I'm in the same situation Towelie - except it has more to do with where the Navy is sending my wife, rather than where she wants to go!

 

[sirus_virus]

We're going to get married in all likelihood. I'm not just "banging" some girl. I don't think it's so wrong for committee's to consider relatinoships that are serious, since they do consider engagements and marriage. We just think its a BAD idea to get married now, or anytime soon, with stresses of medschool (not to mention money) and what not. But it's in the plan

Really? So how can you prove to the school that you guys are committed?

 

[Towelie]

I'm in the same situation Towelie - except it has more to do with where the Navy is sending my wife, rather than where she wants to go!

That sucks. Where is the Navy sending her?

 

[PepperMD]

I'd have to say that it's pretty much MIRACULOUS that they've given you the sort of consideration they have thus far. To ask for anything more is absurd. At this point you need to wait it out and hope for the best.

 

[dasacohen]

virus--

honesty wins in the "game" of applications. Be honest with your deans and interviewers and they will respect the situation.

 

[Soggun]

Ok, first off you really don't have to be worrying about this yet. Your interviews at the places where the other person was accepted were later and thus much more likely to result in a waitlist. Just because you were waitlisted where she was accepted and vice versa doesn't mean that you won't be accepted off that waitlist sometime in the next few months. Until you get past May, I would hold out hope that one of those waitlists pans out.

With respect to UCLA, I think that if you are really committed to your gf, you have two options. First, to pick the school you want to go to and make it work long distance (assuming you get in somewhere you want and she doesn't). Second, to pick the school where you both get accepted (off the waitlist), because this is definately a possibility at this stage the cycle.

If I were you, I'd choose the later. The education you'll recieve at any one school vs. any other school wouldn't be significant enough to me to offset not being with someone I'm serious about.

In any case, just be glad that you still have the potential to be together. My gf (of 3 years) is not going down the medical track and is going to be taking a job nowhere near any school that I might be accepted to... And we're still hoping to make it work.

 

[dasacohen]

I'd have to say that it's pretty much MIRACULOUS that they've given you the sort of consideration they have thus far. To ask for anything more is absurd. At this point you need to wait it out and hope for the best.

agreed I figured that waiting till May is the best process, but is it ok to contact USC and be like, is she interviewing for a waitlist spot?

 

[Critical Mass]

Trying to leverage your significant other (wife, gf, partner, whatever) into a particular med school is probably not going to work, nor do I think it should.

If you value your relationship over your medical career, decide which school you both want to go to and move there as a unit. It looks like one of your priorities is going to have to win out over the other unless things change after May 15.

Keep in mind that transferring is for nearly all intents and purposes impossible.

agreed I figured that waiting till May is the best process, but is it ok to contact USC and be like, is she interviewing for a waitlist spot?

At many schools, the waitlist is the only thing left at this stage in the game. Either way, I'd expect a highly politically correct answer that has little to no validity if you contact them.

 

[dasacohen]

Trying to leverage your significant other (wife, gf, partner, whatever) into a particular med school is probably not going to work, nor do I think it should.

I think that if I viewed it as "leverage" it cetainly would eb a problem. But the reason they have been so accomodating so far is I think because I've been honest. I realize that we will have to make a decision in terms of where we'd both like to go, and probably just gun it out for that school, but I think that letting schools know the "whole" situation can never hurt: It did get us three interviews after all. There is nothing wrong with letting school's know your intentions: in fact it seems as if they understand for the most part.

I appreciate all of your comments, well at least the ones that are specific to my situation, and Towlie, Soggon, you are legit.

 

[Tired Pigeon]

Although you're not yet ready to get married, consider getting engaged. If you eventually see yourselves together, there's nothing wrong with a really long engagement, and the schools will take you more seriously.

 

[dasacohen]

Although you're not yet ready to get married, consider getting engaged. If you eventually see yourselves together, there's nothing wrong with a really long engagement, and the schools will take you more seriously.

trust me, I've thought about it...however we've had no problem with schools thinking we weren't "serious". All the schools we've contacted were very understanding so while it's an idea, do you think that it'd increase the likelihood of us being accepted in the nearer future (ie before may 15th)

I'm sure you all can see the problem if none of this happens until post may 15th...we'd have to withdraw from all but one school which would limit the possibilities...

 

[honker]

This is a tough situation. My wife and I went through the med school application process together while we were engaged. ( We got married after our graduation from college.) We went through various scenarios of what to do if we were unable to get accepted together. She was the stronger applicant and got ten acceptances. I got only two, but she got into both places I was accepted, so it worked out for us. However, you two need to continue to work at getting an acceptance to the same school. It is still early, so I think it is likely that something good will happen for you both. Chances are good that one of you will get off the waitlist, because being a package deal gives you an advantage since one of you already has an acceptance. If the worst happens and you are unable to get into school together, then you need a contingency plan if you plan on staying together. Good luck.

 

[dasacohen]

thanks honker, I really appreciate the good wishes...

and good luck to you in everything

 

[sirus_virus]

If you guys got into different medschools, what will you do? what I am asking is: if it came down to choosing between staying with this person or a medschool acceptance, which will you choose?

 

[dasacohen]

if we got into separate schools and nothing matched up we'd stay together long distance. We've been together long distance for a little while now, so that'd be nothing new....which is why we want to go the the same school so badly.

So in short, we'd go to medical school and stay together...just not being in the same place. But that is one of the last things I'd want to do.

 

[MeMoMa]

Does anyone else see the issue of fairness to potential applicants that may have gotten shafted b/c their "significant other" was not accepted already.


note - I think its a different story if you kids were married.

 

[sirus_virus]

if we got into separate schools and nothing matched up we'd stay together long distance. We've been together long distance for a little while now, so that'd be nothing new....which is why we want to go the the same school so badly.

So in short, we'd go to medical school and stay together...just not being in the same place. But that is one of the last things I'd want to do.

Sounds good. BTW, I dont think you guys should get married right now for the same reasons. It is one thing to have a long distance girlfriend, but a long distance wife? Not good.

Good luck.

 

[KeepSmiling8]

Hi,
I'm in a very similar situation with my boyfriend. In the end what is going to make you the happiest and be most important in your life is not what the rating was of the medical school that you went to. In general I'm pretty sure that a lot of accepted people withdraw from USC, because ppl who get in there get in a lot of places. Also, they only interview about 500 for a class of 180ish, so odds are in your favor. Even if you have to play the waiting game for a while and she still doesn't get in to SC, your worst case scenario would be a very happy life learning the art of medicine together at Jefferson. Best of luck!!

 

[Critical Mass]

Does anyone else see the issue of fairness to potential applicants that may have gotten shafted b/c their "significant other" was not accepted already.

note - I think its a different story if you kids were married.

See this is where I differ. Marriage is a lifestyle choice that not everyone chooses, and many people believe that there is value in remaining single during med school. And while estrangement from a spouse is a stronger reason for a transfer to be accepted than that of a bf/gf, I fail to see why a school should weigh the application of a person married to an acceptee over someone who isn't for that reason alone. I also don't think that married people should get a tax break or penalty, but that's a different story altogether.

 

[1Path]

Dumping her and dumping medicine are both completely out of the question. This is not a play relationship, and medicine is both our passion, and we'd love to realize that in a similar setting.

Simple solution.....get married THEN send an LOI. I'm guessing you'd be in MUCH better shape to get what is essentially a "couples admit".

Personally, I'd make UMiami "our" first choice. If she doesn't get in off the waitlist, it should be MUCH easier for her to apply/get admitted next year as a Fla resident.

 

[RAD11]

See this is where I differ. Marriage is a lifestyle choice that not everyone chooses.

I completely agree with this. Just because you are not married does not mean that you are not in a committed relationship. You can be married and not necessarily be commited to your spouse.

 

[MChitty]

Does anyone else see the issue of fairness to potential applicants that may have gotten shafted b/c their "significant other" was not accepted already.


note - I think its a different story if you kids were married.

I feel like this would be applicable if the OP lied about being married to his gf which resulted in the interviews. From his posts it seems like he explained the situation honestly, as did she, and the schools were accommodating.

And it's been said before--who said this process is fair?

 

[Tired Pigeon]

trust me, I've thought about it...however we've had no problem with schools thinking we weren't "serious". All the schools we've contacted were very understanding so while it's an idea, do you think that it'd increase the likelihood of us being accepted in the nearer future (ie before may 15th)

I'm sure you all can see the problem if none of this happens until post may 15th...we'd have to withdraw from all but one school which would limit the possibilities...

Not saying the schools doubt your "seriousness", but going the extra mile (i.e., getting engaged) sends the message that you two going separate ways is ABSOLUTELY NOT an option. Bottom line it definitely won't hurt your chances and will very possibly help you. It sounds like you guys might be this close to getting the situation you want, and something like this might tip the scales just enough to get you where you need to be. If either of your were a really uncompetitive candidate, obviously this wouldn't matter, but it doesn't sound like that's the case at all.

Keep in mind you can get engaged, and let school know about it, without all the usual hoopla (big diamond ring, engagement parties, registering for china patterns, setting a date). You can always save all that stuff for later (it's mostly for your mothers & other female relatives anyway😉 ).

 

[sirus_virus]

I completely agree with this. Just because you are not married does not mean that you are not in a committed relationship. You can be married and not necessarily be commited to your spouse.

That is what I tried to explain to my ex-wife before she dragged me to the alter.

 

[RAD11]

That is what I tried to explain to my ex-wife before she dragged me to the alter.

and look what happened 😳

 

[MChitty]

That is what I tried to explain to my ex-wife before she dragged me to the alter.

Maybe she wanted the party?

 

[Bubblehead-to-MD]

That sucks. Where is the Navy sending her?

Bethesda, MD - Which limits my choices to USUHS, Georgetown, and (if accepted - fingers crossed) Hopkins.

 

[NovemberWhiskey]

This wins the award for the lamest thread of today year for a couple of reasons:

1.) At the time of posting, the OP had a picture of HIMSELF as his avatar. Not a picture of him doing something funny, or in a goofy pose, but a portrait.

2.) WTF is a "power couple"? Is it some conceited term to describe your "success" in the application process, or what?

 

[PepperMD]

if we got into separate schools and nothing matched up we'd stay together long distance. We've been together long distance for a little while now, so that'd be nothing new....which is why we want to go the the same school so badly.

So in short, we'd go to medical school and stay together...just not being in the same place. But that is one of the last things I'd want to do.

I think keeping it long distance would be one of the best things you could do in terms of maintaining focus on the demands of med school. Here's how I envision your future if you go to med school together:

dasacohen: Hey smoochy-woochy, wanna study for our Pathology exam?
gf: Okay cuddlebear, but how about you give me some of those kisses first?
dasacohen: Okay poodle-kins, I'll give you some kissy-wissies on your facey-wacey.
gf: Oh, sugar-lumpkins, I'm so glad we're together for med school!

Fast-forward 2 years and she's already popped out a litter and you've both failed Step 1. BEWARE!

 

[MeMoMa]

i meant it would be different writing to admissions committees if you were married ( as sort of application leverage ) - i still dont think the concept is cool, but if i was on committee and received a "what about my gf/bf/whatever" letter i would just laugh.

 

[sotired]

This wins the award for the lamest thread of today year for a couple of reasons:

1.) At the time of posting, the OP had a picture of HIMSELF as his avatar. Not a picture of him doing something funny, or in a goofy pose, but a portrait.

2.) WTF is a "power couple"? Is it some conceited term to describe your "success" in the application process, or what?

i agree with the "power couple" mention in the title of the thread...what hell is that about

 

[dasacohen]

thanks wiskey...you made me feel wonderful today

 

[1Path]

Bethesda, MD - Which limits my choices to USUHS, Georgetown, and (if accepted - fingers crossed) Hopkins.

I live in the Bethesda area, but somehow I have 2 more "choices" than you and include Howard and GW.😕

 

[1Path]

This wins the award for the lamest thread of today year for a couple of reasons:

1.) At the time of posting, the OP had a picture of HIMSELF as his avatar. Not a picture of him doing something funny, or in a goofy pose, but a portrait.

WHY, WHY, WHY do unattractive people have to pour on the hate?

 

[dasacohen]

how do you change the title in the thread? I don't really like the implications either...and i apologize

 

[Daydreamer2008]

I think keeping it long distance would be one of the best things you could do in terms of maintaining focus on the demands of med school. Here's how I envision your future if you go to med school together:

dasacohen: Hey smoochy-woochy, wanna study for our Pathology exam?
gf: Okay cuddlebear, but how about you give me some of those kisses first?
dasacohen: Okay poodle-kins, I'll give you some kissy-wissies on your facey-wacey.
gf: Oh, sugar-lumpkins, I'm so glad we're together for med school!

Fast-forward 2 years and she's already popped out a litter and you've both failed Step 1. BEWARE!

 

[gujuDoc]

I think keeping it long distance would be one of the best things you could do in terms of maintaining focus on the demands of med school. Here's how I envision your future if you go to med school together:

dasacohen: Hey smoochy-woochy, wanna study for our Pathology exam?
gf: Okay cuddlebear, but how about you give me some of those kisses first?
dasacohen: Okay poodle-kins, I'll give you some kissy-wissies on your facey-wacey.
gf: Oh, sugar-lumpkins, I'm so glad we're together for med school!

Fast-forward 2 years and she's already popped out a litter and you've both failed Step 1. BEWARE!

I highly doubt that considering the number of med students that date people in their class and what he's suggesting has been done before. i have quite a few former classmates who went into med school as a couple.

 

[Max8]

By the strength of your powers combined......
But you forgot Heart and Wind.

 

[Haemulon]

I see no difference in your "stress" in medical school between being together as a bf/gf and being together as an engaged couple. Clearly, you are not but so serious if you are not ready to take the next step. This is not a bad thing. I think it is important to avoid rushing into something like that. But you can't equate your "seriousness" as a couple with marraige. I mean really, I dated one girl for like 5 years, that was pretty serious. But then I dumped her, graduated, and got married to someone else a few years later. Now that I am married and have 3 kids, I'm starting to think this time it really is serious! 😱

 

[NovemberWhiskey]

WHY, WHY, WHY do unattractive people have to pour on the hate?

Cause we don't post pictures of ourselves as our avatars on a pre-med forum.

Here's a pic of me and my GF:

Happy now?

 

[PepperMD]

I highly doubt that considering the number of med students that date people in their class and what he's suggesting has been done before. i have quite a few former classmates who went into med school as a couple.

It's called a joke. Here's a link: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/joke