Pre-med females out there

[jillzhou]

Are any other female pre-meds in a relationship at the moment? i am in one, but as a pre-med student, I can't seem to committ time to him, nor does he seem to understand since he's not pre-med I thought college guys were mature, but I'm dumbfounded haha Are med school guys any better lol?

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[Kaustikos]

How you doin?

 

[RogueUnicorn]

Are any other female pre-meds in a relationship at the moment? i am in one, but as a pre-med student, I can't seem to committ time to him, nor does he seem to understand since he's not pre-med I thought college guys were mature, but I'm dumbfounded haha Are med school guys any better lol?

lolwut

 

[desi0chick]

LOL. Wait when the right time comes, you'll fiind Mr.Perfect one day

 

[ddalgi]

Are any other female pre-meds in a relationship at the moment? i am in one, but as a pre-med student, I can't seem to committ time to him, nor does he seem to understand since he's not pre-med I thought college guys were mature, but I'm dumbfounded haha Are med school guys any better lol?

I haven't been in your situation but I had a non-premed female friend who always got angry at me when I couldn't spend time with her. We had a falling out because she just couldn't understand why I had to study during the weekends.

 

[NickNaylor]

sup shawties

 

[LoveTheRunner]

who needs the opposite sex anyways. in vitro fertilization and surrogates ftw!

 

[TropicalKitty]

Sorry, OP, but I gotta giggle at this. The age old question "why doesn't he get me?" Not to mention, what does maturity have to do with someone wanting to spend time with their SO?

Ahhh, the things you learn as you get older.

I think the better point in this thread...

Cole, you creepin now? hehe

 

[BWSTW]

Are any other female pre-meds in a relationship at the moment? i am in one, but as a pre-med student, I can't seem to committ time to him, nor does he seem to understand since he's not pre-med I thought college guys were mature, but I'm dumbfounded haha Are med school guys any better lol?

I'm sure it just depends on the guy. They will certainly understand your time constraints, and will probably appreciate the, um, "alone" time more.

 

[cherrycola]

-

 

[tabascosauce]

what you need is a older european man

 

[CrystalProphecy]

lol let's see...

female? check.
premed? check.
has boyfriend? check.

And I know every one-sided/double-sided premed couple has this problem, but fortunately my boyfriend and I got over it after I told him I honestly had no time for some things. It took a few times/talks to get this to him, but he eventually accepted the fact I was so busy. I think also what helped was that later in the semester he was just as busy at times, so we kept ourselves preoccupied doing our work while hanging out while we could. I also dropped an EC mid-semester too.

Don't worry, guys are (almost) always needy for your time. As I said in another thread, sometimes relationships need to be put second during midterm/finals/busy weeks when they need to be. If your boyfriend doesn't understand that, then you might need to sit with him and just talk it out. That's what I did.

Good luck!

 

[runrunrudolph1]

My boyfriend and I broke up because of the time issue and the fact that he could not understand my need to study instead of hang out all the time. There are plenty of fish in the sea girls, esp. if your bf cannot understand your dream and the demand of your future... but one thing I learned was that you should't give up your dream for anyone.

my two cents

 

[4ksibe]

sup shawties

Lol I thought you were taken....

Exactly how busy are premeds????? cuz I was bored at times having nothing to do and no BF to keep me busy... maybe i was not studying as much as i should or as others but i think premed exaggerate....
I would be more woried about having time in med school

 

[NickNaylor]

Sorry, OP, but I gotta giggle at this. The age old question "why doesn't he get me?" Not to mention, what does maturity have to do with someone wanting to spend time with their SO?

Ahhh, the things you learn as you get older.

I think the better point in this thread...

Cole, you creepin now? hehe

I'm always creepin sista.

 

[fizzgig]

what you need is a older european man

lol. vacation to greek islands, coming right up...

 

[eablackwell]

I understand that this is a complex situation a lot of people deal with, but I often have to wonder about time management issues in relationships that aren't long distance. I also wonder about the amount of time these significant others need... I mean, sheesh.

I went through pre-med while working ft, granted I'm married and we do live together, but I only saw my husband once or twice a week for almost 2 years (I don't count the time that 1 or both of us happened to be sleeping), and I was usually not in that great of a mood when we were awake at the same time.

I think people in this type of situation need to:

1) Reevaluate the amount of time they need to study... If it's eating you up this much in ug, unless your major is engineering with a side of quantum physics med school is going to be a nightmare of epic proportions.

2) Reevaluate the amount of time your SO wants to spend with you. Are they clingy? Must they see you every day for X amount of hours or else they will call you 50xs a day just to make sure you didn't forget their name and favorite toothpaste flavor?

3) If 1 & 2 don't help, decide what is more important, school or that person.

Good luck

 

[tabascosauce]

lol. vacation to greek islands, coming right up...

NO

they have to be sophisticated european men

go to france or italy

 

[juliedi]

I understand that this is a complex situation a lot of people deal with, but I often have to wonder about time management issues in relationships that aren't long distance. I also wonder about the amount of time these significant others need... I mean, sheesh.

I went through pre-med while working ft, granted I'm married and we do live together, but I only saw my husband once or twice a week for almost 2 years (I don't count the time that 1 or both of us happened to be sleeping), and I was usually not in that great of a mood when we were awake at the same time.

I think people in this type of situation need to:

1) Reevaluate the amount of time they need to study... If it's eating you up this much in ug, unless your major is engineering with a side of quantum physics med school is going to be a nightmare of epic proportions.

2) Reevaluate the amount of time your SO wants to spend with you. Are they clingy? Must they see you every day for X amount of hours or else they will call you 50xs a day just to make sure you didn't forget their name and favorite toothpaste flavor?

3) If 1 & 2 don't help, decide what is more important, school or that person.

Good luck

This is a great post. Pretty much the advice I was going to give, but worded much more clearly

There are two ends of the spectrum: spending too much time studying, and spending too much time (or needing to spend too much time) with your SO. You should try and find the balance that works for you somewhere in the middle.

 

[putyou2sleep]

Time for the insensitive jackass comment.

How is "pre-med" (which doesn't really exist by the way) preventing you from spending time with someone you care about?

If you care you'll make time, and if you are not making time then you probably don't care to. Simple enough.

Pre-med is a silly way of saying that you have to take a few science courses, and plan to apply to medical school. It is generally easier than most majors, and time is available when you make it. So search for a different root to your dilemma, as I think it's unlikely the constraints of your studies causing your relationship struggles.

 

[jvesco22]

OP, I got the perfect guy for you and he is oh so 'hansome'

 

[FloridaMedicine]

Sorry, OP, but I gotta giggle at this. The age old question "why doesn't he get me?" Not to mention, what does maturity have to do with someone wanting to spend time with their SO?

Ahhh, the things you learn as you get older.

I think the better point in this thread...

Cole, you creepin now? hehe

oh sukkie sukkie now!!!

 

[FloridaMedicine]

I'm always creepin sista.

girl you better handle your bizzness

 

[Geekchick921]

I understand that this is a complex situation a lot of people deal with, but I often have to wonder about time management issues in relationships that aren't long distance. I also wonder about the amount of time these significant others need... I mean, sheesh.

I went through pre-med while working ft, granted I'm married and we do live together, but I only saw my husband once or twice a week for almost 2 years (I don't count the time that 1 or both of us happened to be sleeping), and I was usually not in that great of a mood when we were awake at the same time.

I think people in this type of situation need to:

1) Reevaluate the amount of time they need to study... If it's eating you up this much in ug, unless your major is engineering with a side of quantum physics med school is going to be a nightmare of epic proportions.

2) Reevaluate the amount of time your SO wants to spend with you. Are they clingy? Must they see you every day for X amount of hours or else they will call you 50xs a day just to make sure you didn't forget their name and favorite toothpaste flavor?

3) If 1 & 2 don't help, decide what is more important, school or that person.

Good luck

This. Great post, EA. I really am mystified by the bolded.

 

[jillzhou]

for the clarification, we're in a long distance relationship.

 

[n3xa]

Are any other female pre-meds in a relationship at the moment? i am in one, but as a pre-med student, I can't seem to committ time to him, nor does he seem to understand since he's not pre-med I thought college guys were mature, but I'm dumbfounded haha Are med school guys any better lol?

Oh sweetie I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but some of them are still pretty immature even after they hit 30.

I was in a relationship during my undergrad days and we argued constantly about my study habits. He also thought I was having an affair at school because one of my classmates was doing just that. I couldn't handle having a blowout argument after every exam anymore.

If you know that you need space and he doesn't seem to *get* that, you need to figure out if the relationship is worth the effort.

 

[panasonic52]

for the clarification, we're in a long distance relationship.

I live about 3 hours from my bf and I'm doing my SMP. If he can't understand what you need to get done to succeed later on, then I'm sorry but it's time to move on! It took a month or so to get used to being long-distance, but you need to find a way to balance. Pre-med isn't hard. If he's important enough, you'll find a way to give him enough attention to where he doesn't feel forgotten. If you're important enough, he'll learn to cope with the situation.

edit: forgot to give ideas - I sometimes webcam with him while I'm doing chores around the apt; I visit once a month (I'm like his monthly cycle lol), and when I visit, I devote the whole day/weekend to hanging out with him. No school work.

 

[eablackwell]

for the clarification, we're in a long distance relationship.

That does complicate things. There are a lot of variables there, actual distance, again, clinginess factor, etc. Many problems with long distance relationships tend to arise whether the people are busy or not. My husband and I currently live in separate cities...yes, I FINALLY finish premed work, have a gap year, and he gets offered a transfer/raise that I can't allow him to turn down...figures.

Anyway, we have video phones and chat daily for about 30-45 minutes. It's important to be flexible. My husband forwards his schedule to me monthly so I have an idea around what time he'll be calling each day. Luckily, neither of us is very clingy, so the surprise "I miss you and love you texts" interspersed between calls get us through.

There are a few things that are important w/ long distance:

1) You must trust each other 100%, not 98% or 99.5%, any amount of mistrust will cause a chasm between you and likely end up in fights. If one or the other of you was not originally unfaithful, that person will likely get so sick of being accused of it they will eventually decide they should be reaping the benefits of the deed.

2) You and your SO simply can't be attention hogs. If one or the other is needy, it will likely not work. This often comes as a side-effect of an issue with #1. I have a friend that calls her boyfriend no less than 15 times a day. She has self-esteem problems and believes that the more she calls him the more he will think about her instead of other girls. Plus she can keep track of his whereabouts. This is a big No-No. It is not healthy to have such a relationship.

3) Be honest. There is not time to dance around the truth in a long distance relationship. Tell it like it is. Avoid ultimatums, but make sure he/she knows how you feel and what you're willing to give to the relationship.

That's all I've got. My math team is almost done with their problem set. I have to go repair their shattered spirits with humor.

 

[kexy]

buy him an xbox.

 

[ILikeDrugs]

College guys mature? Are you a freshman straight outta high school?

 

[TriagePreMed]

Are any other female pre-meds in a relationship at the moment? i am in one, but as a pre-med student, I can't seem to committ time to him, nor does he seem to understand since he's not pre-med I thought college guys were mature, but I'm dumbfounded haha Are med school guys any better lol?

Keep him "satisfied." It shouldn't take more than 20 mins a day. You won't have any more problems.

 

[VikingLegacy]

.

 

[armybound]

This thread confuses me.

How much time DOES he need? How far away is he? What's so difficult about keeping him happy?

But most importantly, how busy are you that you can't spare a couple of hours a day for a relationship?

Get a webcam, show him your boobs, and he'll be happy for a while.

 

[RadioCure]

Oh sweetie I don't mean to be the bearer of bad news, but some of them are still pretty immature even after they hit 30.

I was in a relationship during my undergrad days and we argued constantly about my study habits. He also thought I was having an affair at school because one of my classmates was doing just that. I couldn't handle having a blowout argument after every exam anymore.

If you know that you need space and he doesn't seem to *get* that, you need to figure out if the relationship is worth the effort.

"Oh sweetie" makes me cringe every time.

 

[NickNaylor]

This thread confuses me.

How much time DOES he need? How far away is he? What's so difficult about keeping him happy?

But most importantly, how busy are you that you can't spare a couple of hours a day for a relationship?

Get a webcam, show him your boobs, and he'll be happy for a while.

This is absolutely critical to any long-distance relationship.

 

[FloridaMedicine]

Geez lady, might as well ask for the typical "foot long penis made out of chocolate that ejaculates money."

...And people wonder why I've been intentionally single for over a year.

LMAO... SORRY I TRIED NOT LAUGH BUT I COULDN'T HELP IT...

Okay, you are in a long distance relationship. The fact that he misses you and wants to spend time with you is normal and thats a good thing. Now if you weren't hearing from him and he wasn't making much effort to spend time with you that would be a bad thing. You don't know what you have til its gone and most college men aren't like this. Theres nothing wrong with a man wanting to spend a little time with you. With that said, he should support you and everything thats important to you like your studies. But seriously, it's undergrad unless you are taking 24 credits, doing research, volunteering, working full-time, studying for the mcat all by day and you are a superhero by night, I don't understand why you can't make some time. I feel like you are keeping yourself from him

 

[VikingLegacy]

.

 

[armybound]

This is absolutely critical to any long-distance relationship.

I know, I did long distance with my wife for 1.5 years... twice

 

[Ignatius M.D.]

This is absolutely critical to any long-distance relationship.

You are a wise man.

Long distance will be difficult no matter what because it is easy to let that physical distance become distance in the relationship. I lasted almost two years, but when you're working so much it is difficult to maintain that closeness when you are so far away.

Sorry ladies, but while you may be mature and ambitious, 90% of women in college are just as immature as those guys. Prime example: annoying woo-girls.

Oh I almost forgot...what's up ladies? (I know I'm late in on the creepin)

 

[unhappytnt]

This thread confuses me.

How much time DOES he need? How far away is he? What's so difficult about keeping him happy?

But most importantly, how busy are you that you can't spare a couple of hours a day for a relationship?

Get a webcam, show him your boobs, and he'll be happy for a while.

I'd advise against that. CTRL + PRNT SCRN and the next thing you know you are featured on that naughty ex-girlfriends site.

 

[armybound]

I'd advise against that. CTRL + PRNT SCRN and the next thing you know you are featured on that naughty ex-girlfriends site.

well, yeah, that's what gives us guys the upper hand so we know you won't run off and cheat on us or anything

 

[Kaustikos]

I'd advise against that. CTRL + PRNT SCRN and the next thing you know you are featured on that naughty ex-girlfriends site.

Buzzkill

 

[SG3]

You know it's funny bc most the younger female doctors at the hospital I work at are single and always like hint at that they need a guy.. Pre-med def takes lot of time away from ones life

 

[armybound]

You know it's funny bc most the younger female doctors at the hospital I work at are single and always like hint at that they need a guy.. Pre-med def takes lot of time away from ones life

Med school does. Pre-med doesn't.

And yet even my classmates find time to date.

 

[Barcu]

You know it's funny bc most the younger female doctors at the hospital I work at are single and always like hint at that they need a guy.. Pre-med def takes lot of time away from ones life

No it doesn't. You can balance premed work/life.

Time for some self-assessement.

And yes, I am crossing different threads and writing similar things. I'm tired of these.

 

[WiseGuy1]

I don't want to sound like an *****, but being pre-med has nothing to do with your relationship problems. The long distance thing (depending on how long distance) is a much bigger issue. There's absolutely no reason you cannot be "pre-med" or hell even a first or second year medical student and still be able to devote time to a significant other. It comes down to you having poor time management skills or the SO being too clingy.

 

[Narmerguy]

"Oh sweetie" makes me cringe every time.

Me too!!!

Also, some people feel more overwhelmed by being premed than others. I think if you feel that absorbed by your school work that you don't have time for him that you should reconsider whether you can be with him because time only shrinks as you enter med school and then residency.

Side note: I find it amusing that SDN always goes through cycles where the topics become heavily centered around dating, lacking confidence, long distance, etc. Year after year it never fails.

 

[Neuralbunny]

I think it's the long-distance that's the trouble for you, not pre-med or the SO. Making time for each other when you're in a long-distance relationship is harder no matter what you're doing, just because schedules are different and it's easy to get wrapped up in what you're doing. I did a lot in college and so did my BF, and we still spent tons of time together. Now we're long-distance, and even though I'm not too busy right now, we still talk so much less than we did.

 

[n3xa]

"Oh sweetie" makes me cringe every time.

I'm sure it does. It made me cringe awhile back too.

Now I'm cranky, old, and really don't care.


And if you're going to show your boobs, at least be smarter about it and not include your face.

 

[56835]

I'd say you should talk to him and explain to him that you are trying the best you can............also, tell him about your schedule.....n' make sure to include him in ure schedule !!

btw, you CAN make time for him..........just be more diligent and faster when working (even if it means sleeping less)...........set some time apart for him on a day to day or weekly basis (such as Saturday evenings)!!

Stay proactive !!.........Anythin's possible!!