The problem with a prenup is that life changes. So the only way I would ever agree to one is if it was re-evaluated every year, and that might make it less enforcable. My husand and I do not have a pre-nup, he earns a reasonable 6 figure salary, I'm a student.
For example, my husband came into our marriage with a rental home (I had recently sold my home for relocation before we started dating.) When we wanted to sell that home so he could contribute to a new home (I also contributed) it took 19 months to evict the tenants, who did a massive amount of damage.
Now, if we were in a pre-nup, how would we have handled that? sold it at a loss (his loss?) sold it at a loss and shared the loss? (his bad choice in renters) did the repairs (if we paid someone else it would have still been a loss and if he did the repairs which took 3 months of 60-80 hour weeks, it would have been a huge financial loss) and sold?
What did we end up doing? I moved to the house and did all the repairs and clean up. We sold the house for a $380,000 profit (it was in danger of being condemned.) how is that money determined? who broght that money in? His investment was important, but it would have had 0 return (and a cost) if I hadn't taken the time to do the work. If we had a pre-nup that defined what each of us walked away with, I'd want that time compensated for. We don't, so we both do what is best for us in the long run.
Now, if our personalities were different, that might not have worked. My husband is a reasonable spender, and I'm a tight wad. He gets to shower me with gifts and trips and such that I would never spend money on (but do enjoy), and he gets to buy the stuff he wants, because he brings in a substantial income and and doens't go beyond our agreed budget. Mean while, I contribute by keeping costs down by cooking nearly all our meals (otherwise he would eat out every single meal), handling home repairs, etc. He'll tell you that we have more funds now than he ever would have had single, even as we pay for a second home (for school), tuition, and loss of my income, because I am such a saver (and we don't fight because he respects the limits we agreed to financially, which we have had to reevaluate when he was laid off, when I moved to school, when he got the new job, etc.)
I just don't think a pre-nup respects the synergy of what we develop together in terms of money and property. We make far more together than we did apart, and our total costs are less.
My husband does insist I keep $10k in an account of my own. He calls it escape money, in case I ever felt like I had to leave for any reason, I'd at least have the means to leave and get a lawyer.
