proof read a paragraph for me?? any takers?

[whateva07]

So theres this paragraph I wrote for a secondary and it doesnt sound right. Even thought its only a paragraph of 4 or sentences, I need some help.

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[Bacchus]

You can PM me it and I'll take a look. Proofread for grammar/structure?

 

[TheRealMD]

PM me. Do you want me to look at ideas or grammar? Also, please include the prompt.

 

[nabs86]

PM me. I'll look at it tonight.