It's not a naive question at all - it's actually very important. Many local as well as long distance relationships are strained by one partner or the other entering medical school. Divorces, break-ups, and affairs are an all-too-common occurence as a result of this. There are many factors involved, but perhaps the three most important are:
1) Your dedication to each other. You may decide to get married during medical school as a way to strengthen your bond, or you may wait until you graduate, but either way, if your relationship endures through medical school and your intern year, you've got a keeper.
2) How bright are you? There are those individuals who can grasp a concept on first introduction, those who need to reinforce it multiple times, and those who can get by with practice questions without really understanding the underlying principles. If you're in the first category, medical school will be a breeze and provide you lots of free time in your first two years. What you do with that free time is up to you. You can use it and become a gunner, setting yourself up as a competitive candidate for highly-desirable residencies, or you can use it to chill, still make good grades, spend time with your significant other, and still be in contention for decent residencies. If you're in the second category, you will still have a life, but it will put a strain on your relationship because you will be using most of your free time to study. If you're in the latter category, you will have quite a bit of free time, but you will underperform in your courses and examinations, limiting how good of a residency you will eventually get. Of course, if this is of no concern to you (i.e. you plan to enter small, community programs in family practice, internal medicine, psychiatry, pediatrics, or pathology), then your only fear will be receiving a failing grade. The last two years of medical school are like a full-time job, in that you have little control of how much time you spend in the hospital. However, depending on which rotation you're on (surgery=long hours; psychiatry=office hours), you should have time to spend with your S.O. You will, however, be tired during your off-time.
3) How competitive is your medical school? If you go to a lesser known, primary care-focused school, you will have more time, as you won't be treading water to stay afloat with the big dogs. If you go to a very academic medical school (i.e. the professors lecture to you on their soon to be published molecular biology research), your time will evaporate.
In summary, discuss all of these issues with your S.O., but understand that until you live through them, all the talk in the world won't matter. Just hope for the best, and life will play itself out. Good luck.
AV
