question to married dental students

[ohioboy]

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hey, i am currently applying to dental school and my wife is really concerned. she has mentioned that she would like to have kids in the next couple years and i am wondering what the stress is like trying to do well in your classes while at the same time trying to find time for your family. is it impossible to be a good husband, while at the same time being a good dental student? She will probably be working full time...and worried that we'll have to use day care and all that just to be able to survive! can anyone advise me on how you survive? thank you very much!

 

[Tooth]

hey, i am currently applying to dental school and my wife is really concerned. she has mentioned that she would like to have kids in the next couple years and i am wondering what the stress is like trying to do well in your classes while at the same time trying to find time for your family. is it impossible to be a good husband, while at the same time being a good dental student? She will probably be working full time...and worried that we'll have to use day care and all that just to be able to survive! can anyone advise me on how you survive? thank you very much!

I don't have kids but I am married and have plenty of married friends with children at dental school. Everyone in your situation opts for student loans or military pluas loans. The wife stays home with the children while your at school. Most guys typically stay at school and finish up as much homework/studying as they can before going home because, from what I hear, it's impossible to study at home with kids. You really don't want your wife to work because the more she earns the less loans you qualify for. Plus, she'll be able to enjoy more time with her kids. I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure most of them take out about 30K to live on each year above and beyond the cost of tuition. They seem to be doing just fine on it. The military offers a stipend currently about $1300/mo and pays for all your tuition. You still qualify for subsidized loans even with that military pay so you can get more if you want. I suggest military all the way.

 

[ohioboy]

thank you for your response. do you know what the requirements are for allowing the military to pay for your schooling? thanks for your help! this will help put my wife's mind at ease

 

[DAS]

I would go with trying to persuade her to hold off having a baby until you are senior. At least, if she is pregnant when you are a senior, you will have baby when you graduate. That is my plan, seriously. If this doesn't work, then either take more loans or go for the military scholarship.

 

[Dr.Pain]

I'm married and my wife and I aren't planning on having kids until I'm done. If you have any hope of doing well, DON'T do it until you've taken part I. If you just want to pass, then you could swing it.
The military is not as good an option as they make it sound. I've got a buddy doing a Naval GPR right now and he's regretting it. Loves the training, but hates the fact that he's getting deployed with the Marines (probably in Iraq) and hates that most of his classmates are actually working and making 150+ right out of school.
My advice is to make sure you know everything about the military option. A couple guys in my class signed up for the Navy and have no idea about their commitments. Dude, 30 grand a year while you're in school is not a lot. Is that worth getting severely underpaid (like 80 grand/yr) for at least 3 years after school, not to mention the high probability of being put into some nasty places overseas? You won't even get to see your wife and possible kid very much during your GPR, not to mention at all during your deployment. You'd be losing way too much money and risk getting sent into a Civil War just so you and your wife can have a kid now instead of holding off a couple years. Just my opinion and the opinion (a degree removed) from someone actually doing a military GPR.

 

[Dr.Pain]

They don't pay for school. They give you money (about 30 grand a year). If you choose to pay for school with that, you can. Your wife would have to work, unless you don't mind the debt.

 

[ohioboy]

great...now I am just depressed...I know dental school is tough but is it impossible to have a family life? i am also wondering if you take 30k/year...how long does that typically take to pay off? i want to be a dentist more than anything...but i don't want to drag my wife through hell!!

 

[Dr.Pain]

Dude, you're going to be fine. My wife and I want kids...eventually, but we think that it's not a good time. I know it's never really a good time, but we want financial security at least. Dental school is tough, and having a kid is tougher.
You need to understand that you're not going to have a problem paying back your debt. I know the numbers seem big, but you'll be making bigger numbers eventually. Plus, you'd be keeping your debt lower by waiting and having the wife work. That 30,000 isn't free money. They own your ass for a few years and pay you half of what you'd be making elsewhere. Not a good deal.
I hope I'm not being too personal, but you'd be doing yourself (and your wife) a huge favor by waiting. Do well in school, see what happens, enjoy your wife with the little free time you have, and don't make things any more difficult than they need to be while you guys build for your future. You've set yourself up for a tremendous future and now you just need to do the necessary work to get out and get on with your life.

 

[Dr.Pain]

I made a mistake on the officer pay you'd be making. It's around 50 grand a year salary, tax free.

 

[K2 Dental]

Uh, you can go to dental school and have kids. My wife and I dont have kids but most of my friends in dental school have at least 1 kid and one of my good friends has 6. It is possible. I don't agree with the statement to not have your wife work beacause you won't qualify for as many loans. This in not true at all. My wife makes good money and I qualify for any loan that I want. I am in my senior year and my words of wisdom to you would be to help your wife see the goal in the distance now. I continually have to remind my wife that what we are doing will be worth it. I think she is finally seeing the big picture now that I am near the finish line. Good Luck.

 

[kenniemd]

hey, i am currently applying to dental school and my wife is really concerned. she has mentioned that she would like to have kids in the next couple years and i am wondering what the stress is like trying to do well in your classes while at the same time trying to find time for your family. is it impossible to be a good husband, while at the same time being a good dental student? She will probably be working full time...and worried that we'll have to use day care and all that just to be able to survive! can anyone advise me on how you survive? thank you very much!

I don't know what your exact situation is but remember that you have some married and single women(e.g me) with kids in dental school. I believe that whatever happens, you will get through dental school just fine. You might not live like royalty but at least your basic needs will be covered.

 

[johntara04]

You can have a wife and kids in dental school. I am currently married and I have time to spend with my wife everyday. It all comes down to priorities and time management. I study on the train instead of reading the paper, at lunch time, instead of screwing around with my friends I study and then again on the way home. I then study for a couple of hours when I get home. Come 8 p.m., it is nothing but "me and the wife time." All of my friends are married as well and they all have kids. They study at the library or at school before they head home, because they say it is too hectic to study at home with children. I would suggest that if you have kids, and don't want to use daycare, then have your wife stay home and live off of loans. You can get enough money to stay alive with loans. You won't be rich, but you are still a student as well. You do need to remember that you will be in dental school, and you will be studying to be a doctor. Wife, or no wife, children or no children it will not be simply easy. You will have to work and your wife and you will have to make sacrifices with or without children.

 

[Dr.Pain]

Your wife should have more input than you in this decision. If she's not happy you sure as hell won't be happy! Do you really think a young woman would be happy or satisfied with her life sitting at home all day with a baby and no money? Maybe it's just my wife, but that would last about two weeks (not so much the money thing, but because she'd be miserably bored). You've got plenty of years ahead of you to play house.
It's kind of sad reading some of this. Seems like we just assume that we can tell our women what is best for them. Just because we're busy doesn't give us the right to place our career above our spouse's, regardless of what they do for a living.

 

[johntara04]

It's kind of sad reading some of this. Seems like we just assume that we can tell our women what is best for them. Just because we're busy doesn't give us the right to place our career above our spouse's, regardless of what they do for a living.

Could you please post a quote from this thread that says that we can tell our women what is best for them? Also, could you please post a quote that implies that somebody is putting their career above their spouse's?

Back to the OP. You need to discover what will be best for you, your wife and your future baby. For my wife and I, we are waiting to have a child because we are not ready to take on the responsibilities of being parents right now and because my wife loves her job as a hygienist and does not want to give that up right now. I have a friend who is in school with me and they have three children. They love it and would not give up any one of their children for all the money in the world. So, it all depends on what you and your wife want and what you two are willing to work for.

 

[Tarheel]

Your wife should have more input than you in this decision. If she's not happy you sure as hell won't be happy! Do you really think a young woman would be happy or satisfied with her life sitting at home all day with a baby and no money? Maybe it's just my wife, but that would last about two weeks (not so much the money thing, but because she'd be miserably bored). You've got plenty of years ahead of you to play house.
It's kind of sad reading some of this. Seems like we just assume that we can tell our women what is best for them. Just because we're busy doesn't give us the right to place our career above our spouse's, regardless of what they do for a living.

Your post is extremely offensive to marriage and motherhood in particular. It is not playing house. It is not demeaning. It is something that many women choose to do. It is not boring. It is actually hard work and can be very fulfilling. It is a wonderful thing and worthy of respect and praise.

 

[Tarheel]

My wife and I had our first child after the end of our first year. (One year before NBDE I.) Our second child was born at the beginning of fourth year. ( A couple of months before NBDE II) I made family a priority and was still able to do well on the boards and in school. I have many friends and classmates who are in similar situations. I am graduated and in residency now, but I continue to see some of the top students in other Dental classes at the playground with their spouse and children everyday. It is hard work and takes organization, but it is very doable.

 

[Tooth]

thank you for your response. do you know what the requirements are for allowing the military to pay for your schooling? thanks for your help! this will help put my wife's mind at ease

Well, you've gotten a lot of good advice so far. Really it is up to you and your wife and there are more factors to consider. One of the reasons I chose the military was because I was applying to really expensive schools. It actually helped me get into dental school because the more expensive the dental school the less competitive it is to get in. If you can get into a cheap dental school, it's probably not worth it monetarily. As for the requirements, it's year for year. And they DO pay for school. I don't know who said they didn't but they're ignorant. They pay for your tuition, fees, books, and equiptment. And we don't get a $30k stipend per year, it's more like $15k, but it's going up to $30k soon (hopefully very soon, stay posted). You serve a year as a DENTIST not a soldier for every year they pay for your school. That's the jist of it, there's more but if I said more I'd feel like I was hijacking the thread. The majority of dental students take out loans instead of military so that speaks for itself, but don't let someone scare you out of the military. If you join the chair force, I mean air force, you'll be sittin pretty for your four years of dental school and four years after that and be debt free. $50k tax free/year is probably a little low more like $60k. $150k/year starting civilian, I'm skeptical. I think it's more like $90K.

 

[Tooth]

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[Tooth]

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[beannaithe]

You can do it. You just need to work out your priorities and explain to your wife that you'll be spending long hours at the library and that she'll need to be understanding.

All of the married guys in our class usually spend like 2-4 hours at the library and most weekends.

Though if you are planning on having a baby in d-school. I'd recommend trying to make sure you shoot for summer break of 1st year or definately during 3rd year....a guy in my class had a baby during midterm week and he didn't sleep for like 3 days and had to take 2 exams. There's also a couple of babies due during finals week...I pity those guys.

Just amke sure you include your wife's opinion on what you do.

Don't get discouraged or let this dissuade you from your dream. You make your family a priority, you make your dream a priority and you work like crazy to make it work. Strangely enough, it usually seems to.

 

[ohioboy]

hey thank you all for your posts. My wife and I have talked about it and we are both at the age where we would like to have children before we get too old. I am a little older than the average applicant, and I am definitely not making my wife work; we have both talked through it and it was our decision. If she wanted to work on her career then that would be totally fine with me. Anyways, we are just wondering if we have a kid prob in our second year and she did want to stay home with our kid...what are the options and would we have the availability to get loans. Are they (loans) hard to come by or do they give them out like candy? From all the posts I have gathered that there would be two options...loans or military. I guess what I am most concerned with is having a huge amount of loans after school. My wife and I have never been in debt and it just bothers us to go into that much debt. If anyone on here has a kid and is in dental school...I would really appreciate explaining how you do it. And thank you to everyone else who tells how their friends are doing surviving...that helps to!

 

[Tooth]

I'm pretty sure they give loans out like candy to dental students. Talk to the financial aid counselor at the dental school you want to enter. They're good.

 

[johntara04]

hey thank you all for your posts. My wife and I have talked about it and we are both at the age where we would like to have children before we get too old. I am a little older than the average applicant, and I am definitely not making my wife work; we have both talked through it and it was our decision. If she wanted to work on her career then that would be totally fine with me. Anyways, we are just wondering if we have a kid prob in our second year and she did want to stay home with our kid...what are the options and would we have the availability to get loans. Are they (loans) hard to come by or do they give them out like candy? From all the posts I have gathered that there would be two options...loans or military. I guess what I am most concerned with is having a huge amount of loans after school. My wife and I have never been in debt and it just bothers us to go into that much debt. If anyone on here has a kid and is in dental school...I would really appreciate explaining how you do it. And thank you to everyone else who tells how their friends are doing surviving...that helps to!

They pretty much give out loans like candy. Personally, I would stay away from the army. You do get your loans paid off, and they do pay you reasonably well, but they own you. You will most likely just do dental work during your time with the military, but if something crazy went down with North Korea or Iran, they then could send you to the front lines if they wanted too. I personally want control over my life even if that means having a little less money at first. That being said, I admire, respect and owe everything I have to those who choose to sacrifice their lives and protect our country.

Back to the loans. They are huge loans with little risk. Most dental students graduate and most make well over $100,000 a year (maybe not at first, but eventually) so they can pay them back. You can only worry about the huge amount of debt to a certain extent. No matter how frugal you are you will have huge debt when you graduate. The good news is that you will be able to pay them off after you graduate. Dental school is definetly a sacrifice for everyone in your family, but it will definetly pay off for you and your family. 10 years from now when you are living in your nice house and only working 184 days a year, both you and your wife will be glad you put up with 4 crappy years.

 

[BuckeyeDent]

HPSP military scholarships pay full tuition, books and equipment, and $30K stipend. So while your buddies from school are making $100K per year, they are also paying back $150K in school loans. Also, the military allows you to practice and gain skills without worrying about peripheral office responsiblities.

"But I may have to be deployed!" 😱

I'm glad our grandparents didn't have your attitude in 1941. The Nazis would be in power and the Japanese Empire would control the pacific.

Deployment is an honor, not a punishment.

 

[DIRTIE]

HPSP military scholarships pay full tuition, books and equipment, and $30K stipend. So while your buddies from school are making $100K per year, they are also paying back $150K in school loans. Also, the military allows you to practice and gain skills without worrying about peripheral office responsiblities.

"But I may have to be deployed!" 😱

I'm glad our grandparents didn't have your attitude in 1941. The Nazis would be in power and the Japanese Empire would control the pacific.

Deployment is an honor, not a punishment.

Don't act like you joined the military for any other reason but money. What a hero you are!
30 K stipend I think not, its 1200/month, that doesn't equal 30 to me.
The military is a good deal if you don't mind selling you soul for 4 years, you will get it back, and it might even be in better condition then when you sold it. At least your loans will be minimal.



I have two children and I am in my 2nd year. I think that having children makes it harder and more complicated. You still have time for your family though. No question that if you want to be in the top of your class and score really high on the boards it is going to take more time and dedication. That of course means getting up earlier and staying a little longer, being away from family and other activities that you want to do more, but it doesn't mean that you sacrifice everything, just more if you want to go on and specialize in something.

 

[johntara04]

I'm glad our grandparents didn't have your attitude in 1941. The Nazis would be in power and the Japanese Empire would control the pacific.

Deployment is an honor, not a punishment.

You don't know me or my attitude. You know nothing about me. I am ready and willing to serve if my country needs me. Right now, my country does not need me. So at this point in my life, I don't feel that joining the Army/Air Force/Navy to get my school paid for is worth it. To me, spending four years in the Army/Navy/Air Force etc, is not worth the monetary compensation that they give (which is what they are pushing. If they were pushing American pride then they would not come with food telling everyone how they will pay you and/or pay your loans). If there is a time when my country needs me I will be first in line to defend my family and country. Until then, I can do more for my country here in the U.S. by paying taxes and helping to create better neighborhoods, than pulling teeth and dodging bullets in Iraq.

 

[Tooth]

You don't know me or my attitude. You know nothing about me. I am ready and willing to serve if my country needs me. Right now, my country does not need me. So at this point in my life, I don't feel that joining the Army/Air Force/Navy to get my school paid for is worth it. To me, spending four years in the Army/Navy/Air Force etc, is not worth the monetary compensation that they give (which is what they are pushing. If they were pushing American pride then they would not come with food telling everyone how they will pay you and/or pay your loans). If there is a time when my country needs me I will be first in line to defend my family and country. Until then, I can do more for my country here in the U.S. by paying taxes and helping to create better neighborhoods, than pulling teeth and dodging bullets in Iraq.

In case you didn't realize it, we're at war. It's called the War on Terrorism. If there's any time your country needs you, it's now. So, "If there is a time when my country needs me I will be first in line to defend my family and country," it's time. Just realize you'll be serving as a DENTIST not a soldier, you're too valuble to get shot at.

 

[johntara04]

If there's any time your country needs you, it's now.

Again, read my post. As a dentist, are you more valuable funding the war or pulling teeth and dodging bullets in Iraq? I can do more for my country (like I just posted) by paying ridiculous amounts of money in taxes than I can do running around Iraq/N. Korea/Iran. The army needs people that are assets. As a dentist, I am more of an asset making 200,000+ a year, and paying 40-50% in taxes than I am living off the government paying no taxes.

Also, let's see if we can stay on topic with this thread.

 

[jpollei]

hey, i am currently applying to dental school and my wife is really concerned. she has mentioned that she would like to have kids in the next couple years and i am wondering what the stress is like trying to do well in your classes while at the same time trying to find time for your family. is it impossible to be a good husband, while at the same time being a good dental student? She will probably be working full time...and worried that we'll have to use day care and all that just to be able to survive! can anyone advise me on how you survive? thank you very much!

Back to the OP: there are multiple threads on this topic in the predent forum. Might be more helpful than some of the tangential banter on here. 🙂

 

[mokie]

I haven't seen any input from female dental students with children, so I'll throw in my two sense. I am a second year dental student and I have a 5 year old and a three month old- my son was born during the summer break of school this year. So far, we have managed just fine. My husband works full time, so money is not a huge concern. I do still take out loans though. You most defintely can manage dental school with children. I do most of my studying after the kids are in bed (we have an early 8:00 bed time around here) and on the weekends if necessary. Second year has been a little tougher because of all the lab work, but I try to go in early on days we don't have class till later in the morning to minimize the time outside of the 8-5 school hours I have to be at school. I don't have tons of free time, but I manage to get through school just fine and still have time for my family. Now, I dont make perfect grades by any means, but I haven't had any trouble passing all my classes- and let's be honest here, unless you want to specialize, that's all that matters.
Bottom line- you CAN get through dental school with a family if you are willing to make some sacrifices and if you learn to manage your time well. There are times when it is very stressful, but for the most part it is not too bad.

 

[USUaggie]

Wow, what a thread. Here's my take: Each family is different and just because I've found a formula that works for me doesn't necessarily mean it will work for you. If your family is your priority then it will absolutely work, because you will find enough time and effort to put into it to make it work. I recently found out I'll be expecting my first child a couple months before boards part I, so my plan is to start studying early so that I can have time for some major distractions before the test. My wife's greatest ambition is to be a mom so I'm not worried about whether the kid will get enough attention or not.

I would like to join the Air Force for the experience and the opportunities (it doesn't seem like joinging for the "money" is worth it) but I am having a really tough time getting in because a long history with knee problems.

Like I said, what works for me may not work for you. This is something you and your spouse will have to work out and make sure you're on the same page. Good Luck.

 

[ex-mechanic]

I'm married with 3 children and a senior in dental school. I also am older than most of my class. When we were facing this concern of time with family during school, I found it helpful to see what the schedule might be like. My schedule during the first 2 years was this:

Sunday: no studying; all family/church stuff
Mon- Friday: school from 8AM - 5PM (study between classes and over lunch)
5-5:30PM - 7-7:30 PM Family dinner and family time
7:30 to 10 or 11PM (study) except Friday
kids usually in bed by 7:30PM; sometimes back to library or school for studying; sometimes at home.
Friday night is date night with my wife
Monday night family time is sometimes extended
Occasionally on a finals week, I would get up really early (3:30-4AM), go to the library and hit the notes hard 🙂sleep: ) for 4 hours straight before a final to supplement the other studying.

Saturday: 8-5PM (study, lab-work, practice preps, etc.)

During my 3rd year, studying went down and lab work for patients took some of that place. I also got a job working Wednesday evenings and Saturday mornings at a dental office assisting.

Now I just lay around eating my kids Halloween candy worrying about how my interviews for OMFS are going to go. I got most of my graduation requirements done the junior year.

Finances: my wife raises our beautiful children (4 🙂 , 2.5 😛 , and 7 months ) in the home. I take out loans for school and make a little money on the side. I apply for scholarships and have received an Evalee Schwartz interest-free loan 2 years straight. If I were going into general dentistry, I would do public health in a high need area and make over 120K right out of school. No problem paying back the loans if it is a proper priority.

Bottom Line: If you are a procrastinator or will be--you won't do well in dental school. If you are gifted, as most dental students are, you will still pass. If your wife is "high maintenance" about needing a lot of time with you and doesn't really support you putting in the time you need to become a good doctor of dental surgery--I personally would explore other options. Dental school would be very frustrating under those conditions.

A dental admissions guy told my wife that if I went to his school, I would be at school from 8AM-5PM and 7PM - 11PM or midnight. I asked her if she could handle that schedule for 4 years before going ahead with it. Most of the time, the schedule isn't that bad, but if you follow that routine you are sure to do really well. 😉

With my schedule, I ranked #1 in my class (wasn't planning to specialize until this summer 😱), scored a 96 on Part I, and yes my wife still loves me and my kids know who I am. Good luck with your joint decision with your wife.

P.S. My wife read this before posting and added all the smileys

 

[fightingspirit]

I'm married with 3 children and a senior in dental school. I also am older than most of my class. When we were facing this concern of time with family during school, I found it helpful to see what the schedule might be like. My schedule during the first 2 years was this:

Sunday: no studying; all family/church stuff
Mon- Friday: school from 8AM - 5PM (study between classes and over lunch)
5-5:30PM - 7-7:30 PM Family dinner and family time
7:30 to 10 or 11PM (study) except Friday
kids usually in bed by 7:30PM; sometimes back to library or school for studying; sometimes at home.
Friday night is date night with my wife
Monday night family time is sometimes extended
Occasionally on a finals week, I would get up really early (3:30-4AM), go to the library and hit the notes hard 🙂sleep: ) for 4 hours straight before a final to supplement the other studying.

Saturday: 8-5PM (study, lab-work, practice preps, etc.)

During my 3rd year, studying went down and lab work for patients took some of that place. I also got a job working Wednesday evenings and Saturday mornings at a dental office assisting.

Now I just lay around eating my kids Halloween candy worrying about how my interviews for OMFS are going to go. I got most of my graduation requirements done the junior year.

Finances: my wife raises our beautiful children (4 🙂 , 2.5 😛 , and 7 months ) in the home. I take out loans for school and make a little money on the side. I apply for scholarships and have received an Evalee Schwartz interest-free loan 2 years straight. If I were going into general dentistry, I would do public health in a high need area and make over 120K right out of school. No problem paying back the loans if it is a proper priority.

Bottom Line: If you are a procrastinator or will be--you won't do well in dental school. If you are gifted, as most dental students are, you will still pass. If your wife is "high maintenance" about needing a lot of time with you and doesn't really support you putting in the time you need to become a good doctor of dental surgery--I personally would explore other options. Dental school would be very frustrating under those conditions.

A dental admissions guy told my wife that if I went to his school, I would be at school from 8AM-5PM and 7PM - 11PM or midnight. I asked her if she could handle that schedule for 4 years before going ahead with it. Most of the time, the schedule isn't that bad, but if you follow that routine you are sure to do really well. 😉

With my schedule, I ranked #1 in my class (wasn't planning to specialize until this summer 😱), scored a 96 on Part I, and yes my wife still loves me and my kids know who I am. Good luck with your joint decision with your wife.

P.S. My wife read this before posting and added all the smileys

the fact that you ranked number one in the class with all the familly commitments and made time to work on the side on top of that should be enough to get you into any OMFS program you want. you truly are unique in your time management skills and extreme discipline.

good luck....i have absolutly no doubt that you'll get into OMFS; esclavo looks for people like you....

 

[BuckeyeDent]

Dirtie,

"30 K stipend I think not, its 1200/month, that doesn't equal 30 to me."

Since you know more about it than I do, check out H.R. 5122 signed into law by President Bush on Oct. 10. Stipend increase to $30k. And if its such a bad financial deal, why did I only do it for the money?

loser.

 

[I'mFillingFine]

Does anyone else here have a problem with the "our women" and "the wife" talk?? I am NOT an angry feminist, but it seems that you've immediately placed your household into a posessorship instead of a partnership. I hope your spouses don't feel the same way....


Good luck to everyone seeking to balance it all...👍

 

[ohioboy]

thank you for all your replies. I am looking forward to dental school and i think my wife is too.... I think we are planning on trying to have a child in the summer after my second year. Hopefully by then my first boards section will be over and the academic load will ease up a little. And it sounds like the choice is between military and living on loans. i think military is out of the question, and so since we will only have two years left...i think we will probably go the loans route. thank you for all your encouragement about paying off the loans...hopefully I will be able to attend my in-state school so the loans won't be too insane! if there are any other fathers/mothers out there in dental school, i (my wife) would greatly appreciate hearing from you as to how you survive having a family life, as well as pay for everything. Thank you and good luck to you all!

 

[ohioboy]

well, if you would read the entire thread...I made clear that my wife and I are completely in agreement about this whole situation...and in fact...i started this thread with the concern of making sure her life is the best possible!

 

[I'mFillingFine]

well, if you would read the entire thread...I made clear that my wife and I are completely in agreement about this whole situation...and in fact...i started this thread with the concern of making sure her life is the best possible!

I'm sorry; I misspoke...I don't have a problem about the tone of the thread or your attitudes towards your spouses. My issue was mainly when Dr.Pain used the term "our women". It really rubbed me the wrong way....But I'll admit that is an entirely seperate debate and I will not hijack.


Also, from a woman's perspective, I don't see what's wrong about needing to have your wife work while you're in school. I can see being against having a nanny or daycare for the entire day, but if you don't have children or the wife is able to stay at home some and work some, why shouldn't she help contribute to the household? I think it's an excellent plan for one spouse to earn money while the other is in dental school, after which the situation either switches or they continue to have a dual income. If the tables were turned, I would definitely be working while my boyfriend was in school.

I suppose I'm asking if it's more of an honor concept of needing to support the family, or are these comments from people who have wives that truly don't want to work and they don't want to force them into it just for the money? (If the latter's the case, then I can see why you'd want to avoid it.)

 

[ohioboy]

I totally agree. My wife is obviously planning on working till we do decide to have a kid. She enjoys working and has always had good jobs. I really appreciate your feedback though. My both work very hard, but we also agree that our family will always come before anything...I know it will be hard though with studies. But from what I see, if you are organized and determined to make it work then you can make it work.