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- Apr 4, 2007
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I will address this later. Anyone else?
I feel like the administration at my institution is draconian. By now, at the halfway point, I have heard a lot of stories, some firsthand, of people getting into trouble for strange things that one wouldn't expect. Some people even vanish from the class or other classes. That's a big deal of course...totally changing people's careers like that.
I've gotten pretty ensnared with the higher ups myself. At this point I'm developing a learned helplessness toward running into trouble and am becoming disillusioned. I feel it's inevitable there will be a run in of some sort over the course of an entire second half of school that will cause problems for me again. I have never been a troublemaker in my past years so this is out of the ordinary.
I used to plan my career out several years into the future. Now I only think about the next several weeks and how to get by. It's pitiful. If any student is subjected to a tremendous amount of scrutiny, flaws and shortcomings will become apparent. Those who are already on the radar are the ones who have to bear the brunt of this phenomenon while the rest coast along doing whatever they want.
I'm just frustrated, as I'm well settled in where I am and have good friends but worry I'll encounter turmoil that will upset everything. I think that I do want to finish my MD whether that be here or elsewhere, perhaps even offshore if that becomes necessary. I've put too much into this course to leave empty handed.
I often wonder whether my institution is particularly draconian and I coincidentally/unfortunately happened to land here of all places. I feel trapped as transfer is not a common practice in medical schools and is usually done for spousal or family reasons. Basically I hate it here and it's causing me to hate medical school and become apathetic toward the career in general, whereas I know at one point I did have some zeal for it. Is there nothing that keeps draconian insitutions in check? What is the culture at other locations like?