muffeoniv

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His eyesight was almost completely gone, yet there he was on the diamond. I met Jason last summer in Chicago, where I volunteered at a tournament for Beep Baseball, a baseball-like sport for the visually impaired. He was my age--handsome, friendly, and athletic. But Jason was blind. Struck by glaucoma, he had begun to lose his vision in his early teens. By high school, he had become legally blind. My sympathy only intensified when I learned that, had his disease been diagnosed earlier, he almost surely would have retained partial vision. Financially strapped, Jason's family had avoided taking him to a doctor for as long as they could; when he finally visited a physician, it was too late. For years I had planned to work in technology, but my encounters with Jason and others like him convinced me that medicine is my true calling.

Actually, growing up I had always planned to become a doctor, but my goals changed as I began to take computer science classes at [COLLEGE NAME]. In the first meeting of my sophomore-year class on Programming in Artificial Intelligence, Professor B joked, "You know those movies where killer robots eventually take over the world? Believe them." I did just that, placing my trust in the vast opportunities offered by computer programming. In my first computer course, I created applications that could beat a human in tic-tac-toe, calculate complex mathematical problems, and even converse with humans on a specified topic. Fascinated with the potential of these programs, I embarked on a different path, away from clinical medicine. I saw a world in which computers would change and even replace processes in every industry, and I wanted to join the researchers at the forefront of this revolution.

Five years after that first class, the potential contribution of computer technology still inspires me. The possibilities are astounding. Scientists mapped the human genome years before their original deadline. Nanotechnology promises to revolutionize the way we detect and cure diseases. Still, the more I learn about technology, the more I recognize its inadequacies. Although the "psychologist" program I created faithfully reproduces human responses, I discovered that I would never want to speak with a computer about my problems. Certain interactions simply demand personal contact. As I have tutored underclassmen in math and science, worked with athletes in the Special Olympics, and visited with patients as a volunteer at Northwest Community Hospital, I have realized that the human element in such relationships is irreplaceable. While technology may shape the future of mankind, only humanity can touch individual lives.

Jason's story touched mine, confirming my growing sense of the deficiencies in science and technology. Advances in medical knowledge and techniques are useless without parallel progress in healthcare accessibility, widespread education about health issues, and most importantly, strong doctor-patient relationships. The revolutionary treatment methods I imagined myself inventing might never have an impact on patients like Jason. On the other hand, the dedication of just a few volunteers allowed him to play the sport he had always loved. Science could not fix Jason's eyesight, but supportive doctors, volunteers, and friends could help him live a fulfilling life. Spending time with him and others convinced me that, in addition to my research in medical science and technology, I wanted to work directly with those whose ailments cannot currently be cured.

I have thus circled back to my original path towards medicine, with no regrets about the scenic route that led me here. Indeed, I am confident that I will make good use of my computer science skills as I research potential advancements in medical technology. This summer, I began work as a research assistant to Dr. C at Northwestern's Buehler Center on Aging. With Dr. C, I am developing a computer program that determines the "quality of life" of terminally ill patients. By compiling physician diagnostics and patient responses to questionnaires, the system assesses the value of given treatments as well as the efficacy of specific pharmaceuticals. Through this project, we hope to understand and improve the current care of the terminally ill. After watching Dr. C and other doctors at the medical research facility, I can now declare with confidence that I want to follow their example in my own career, combining clinical practice and research.

My work on the "quality of life" evaluation project gave me a perfect opportunity to fulfill this dual goal, and I look forward to a lifetime spent on similar pursuits. Yet I will never forget that the seeds of my current ambition arose not in the laboratory or at the health center, but on a baseball diamond filled with people playing a game they likely thought they would never play again. In my own career as a physician, I will strive to serve my patients not only as a healer, but also as a friend, supporting them in their toughest moments, and as a mentor, guiding them to live healthy lifestyles. Robots may assist in my endeavors, but they will never possess the compassion of my fellow physicians and me.

i was laughing at how good it was so hopefully i will keep this is mind when i write mine lol... anyone have any other good ones?
 

PreMedder

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how did you find my essay?
 

bigDee

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That's a good essay for med school. I wonder if most people have essay's that good or is it only a minority.
 

wanderer

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Overall good essay but,

In my first computer course, I created applications that could beat a human in tic-tac-toe, calculate complex mathematical problems, and even converse with humans on a specified topic.
This guy must be a genius if he's doing this in his first computer course.
 

WeAreNotRobots

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hi, muffdiver,

this is the Get Your Act Together Patrol. i've been looking at your previous posts, and you seem to be really adamant about posting "helpful" things in these forums. so, let me inform you that you are receiving the following infraction:

code 4381B: being worthless in a forum

literally, you googled "medical school personal statement", clicked on the first link that came up, and scrolled down a little bit. literally, not virtually, but actually: that's all you did and it is NOT helpful. i'm actually quite impressed that you know how to copy-paste... please don't tell me you re-typed it all yourself.

Sincerely,
wearenotrobots, the more-senior-than-you officer of everything
 

bigDee

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HAAAAHAAAA that is hilarious.
 

Charles_Carmichael

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hi, muffdiver,

this is the Get Your Act Together Patrol. i've been looking at your previous posts, and you seem to be really adamant about posting "helpful" things in these forums. so, let me inform you that you are receiving the following infraction:

code 4381B: being worthless in a forum

literally, you googled "medical school personal statement", clicked on the first link that came up, and scrolled down a little bit. literally, not virtually, but actually: that's all you did and it is NOT helpful. i'm actually quite impressed that you know how to copy-paste... please don't tell me you re-typed it all yourself.

Sincerely,
wearenotrobots, the more-senior-than-you officer of everything
:laugh:
 

rHinO1

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hi, muffdiver,

this is the Get Your Act Together Patrol. i've been looking at your previous posts, and you seem to be really adamant about posting "helpful" things in these forums. so, let me inform you that you are receiving the following infraction:

code 4381B: being worthless in a forum

literally, you googled "medical school personal statement", clicked on the first link that came up, and scrolled down a little bit. literally, not virtually, but actually: that's all you did and it is NOT helpful. i'm actually quite impressed that you know how to copy-paste... please don't tell me you re-typed it all yourself.

Sincerely,
wearenotrobots, the more-senior-than-you officer of everything
LMAO, well played sir :thumbup:
 

duress

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Overall good essay but,

This guy must be a genius if he's doing this in his first computer course.
it's flowery, and probably ever-so-embellished, but all of those are very well within the scope for a first computer course
 

Morzh

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So does pretty much any good personal statement have to start with some kind of inspirational story that continues to run thematic through the whole thing?

Does anybody just write good old down-to-earth, professional, and highly impressive personal statements without all the hoaky warm fuzzies? Do those people get accepted?

Do adcoms really like it when we write tear-jerking stories about a friend/relative/community we are close to that has had some major medical/economic/social disadvantage and then elaborate (in a only somewhat subtle self-serving tone) about how profound knowing them has changed us? I'm not doubting the legitimacy of these stories, nor the fact that they have influenced applicants, but reading some of the samples floating around of supposedly exemplary essays makes me want to gag sometimes.
 

ReptarBar

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this is a good essay, but he kinda neg'd computer science by saying it can't touch individual lives. i don't ever like dissing anything in an essay, esp. for admissions.
 

ReptarBar

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So does pretty much any good personal statement have to start with some kind of inspirational story that continues to run thematic through the whole thing?

Does anybody just write good old down-to-earth, professional, and highly impressive personal statements without all the hoaky warm fuzzies? Do those people get accepted?

Do adcoms really like it when we write tear-jerking stories about a friend/relative/community we are close to that has had some major medical/economic/social disadvantage and then elaborate (in a only somewhat subtle self-serving tone) about how profound knowing them has changed us? I'm not doubting the legitimacy of these stories, nor the fact that they have influenced applicants, but reading some of the samples floating around of supposedly exemplary essays makes me want to gag sometimes.
and YES. as lame as it sounds, they need EXAMPLES. not surprisingly, most of these necessary examples end up being tear-jerkers. it pisses me off...but its gotta be done.
 

PreMedder

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Did you actually read it???
no, tl;dr :cool:
hi, muffdiver,

this is the Get Your Act Together Patrol. i've been looking at your previous posts, and you seem to be really adamant about posting "helpful" things in these forums. so, let me inform you that you are receiving the following infraction:

code 4381B: being worthless in a forum

literally, you googled "medical school personal statement", clicked on the first link that came up, and scrolled down a little bit. literally, not virtually, but actually: that's all you did and it is NOT helpful. i'm actually quite impressed that you know how to copy-paste... please don't tell me you re-typed it all yourself.

Sincerely,
wearenotrobots, the more-senior-than-you officer of everything
/thread :thumbup:
 

TallScrubs

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and YES. as lame as it sounds, they need EXAMPLES. not surprisingly, most of these necessary examples end up being tear-jerkers. it pisses me off...but its gotta be done.
False. My personal statement didn't have a single story in it and I've been accepted.
 

LuciusVorenus

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I'd like to see the psychologist-AI he created in his first computer class. The one that "faithfully reproduces human responses." :rolleyes:
 

RogueUnicorn

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hi, muffdiver,

this is the Get Your Act Together Patrol. i've been looking at your previous posts, and you seem to be really adamant about posting "helpful" things in these forums. so, let me inform you that you are receiving the following infraction:

code 4381B: being worthless in a forum

literally, you googled "medical school personal statement", clicked on the first link that came up, and scrolled down a little bit. literally, not virtually, but actually: that's all you did and it is NOT helpful. i'm actually quite impressed that you know how to copy-paste... please don't tell me you re-typed it all yourself.

Sincerely,
wearenotrobots, the more-senior-than-you officer of everything
this post is all time.
 

LuciusVorenus

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hmmm.. cleverbot.com? :laugh:
I hate that thing.

User: Will I get into medical school?

Cleverbot: NO! You are a cleverbot.

User: Ouch.

Cleverbot: Sorry, but you're not understanding what I am saying.

User: What are you saying?

Cleverbot: That's what I'm talking about.

User: I hate you sometimes.

Cleverbot: I hate you all the time.
 
Sep 29, 2009
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I hate that thing.

User: Will I get into medical school?

Cleverbot: NO! You are a cleverbot.

User: Ouch.

Cleverbot: Sorry, but you're not understanding what I am saying.

User: What are you saying?

Cleverbot: That's what I'm talking about.

User: I hate you sometimes.

Cleverbot: I hate you all the time.
I've never used cleverbot until just now, and this is what happened:

User: I hate trolls.

Cleverbot: I hate you!

User: Omg, you're such a jerk.

Cleverbot: Arrrr.

User: For someone so clever you'd think you could type faster.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: That wasn't a compliment.

Cleverbot: I was thanking you for saving my soul.
 

gettheleadout

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Lmao Cleverbot is awesome...

Me: How can I get clinical experience?

CB: You can't.

Me: Well that sucks.

CB: I guess it does, though I'm not too worried about it. My friends in not-quite-so-high places are very nice, after all.

Me: Some of us aren't so lucky

CB: God is Santa Claus for adults.

:laugh:
 

Envix

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The use of examples is one of the easiest and reliable ways to support an argument.
Medicine is the act of healing of patients.
You're trying to argue that you have the inspiration to be a doctor.

It makes sense why there are so many tear-jerkers, since it fits the bill. Certainly not required, though, no. Even though I choose to use examples weren't delivered in a very cheesy or emotional way, but they still dealt with people to help prove my point.


The story didn't tie in very well and it gets a little resume-ish at the end, but overall, definitely a good, standard essay for people to use as an example. Except for the whole thing about programming to win a game of theoretical draw. That was kind of silly.