- Joined
- Aug 28, 2017
- Messages
- 417
- Reaction score
- 469
Hi Friends,
I'm writing this because A) I finally just the last of my apps and B) I know there's gotta be someone who needs to hear it today.
I am not a genius. I skipped most of high-school because I was made fun of constantly. Which I didn't understand. I wasn't super-nerdy or super-anything really. I was just poor, and very quiet.
I dual-enrolled to finish high school. College was a much better fit, but I still had a lot of issues. I got kicked out of my home as a teen by my dear tosspot of a father, over something neither of us remember. I moved in with a stranger, then another stranger, then another. I worked 40+ hours a week. I partied a lot because I didn't know what else to do. The people around me, the ones who didn't bully me, partied a lot.
I have no idea what my high school GPA was. I showed up late to my SAT because the city bus was late. Somehow I did well enough to get a scholarship. When I went to get my diploma, they asked for ID because I'd been there so little. What time I did spend on campus was usually in in-school-suspension for being late.
The boyfriend I met straight out of HS was a bit of a train-wreck. I spent a couple years trying to fix him before we had a kid together. He decided to split not long ago. Fortunately, I got to keep the awesome kid.
Somewhere in there I figured out how to use my brain to get a good job. I made sure I didn't become like my lamentable parents, whom I love(d), but were severely under-qualified.
When I first dual-enrolled, I wanted to be a doctor. But I quickly realized that there was no way I could make it happen as the dumb kid I was at the time. And that's not self-deprecation, that's just what it was. I remember walking out of my first chemistry midterm crying, not recognizing a single character on the page.
The friend who had been driving me to the chem class died shortly thereafter of an overdose. He said he only majored in chemistry so he could learn to make drugs. I didn't believe him. I knew he wanted the same thing I wanted.
I spent 10 years afraid of science, and my dreams.
I was told, "Don't do it," "Pick another field," and "It's not practical for someone in your position."
Some of the people who told me that were soon after writing my letters of recommendation.
I just submitted my applications, and you know what? Whether or not I make it doesn't matter at this moment. For one single minute in the past 3 years I feel like I can just breathe.
The fact that I got to this point...well, it's like that moment in the movies where that person with a crap hand is standing in front of the long shot and the movie ends right there. And you think, "Well, maybe it works out and maybe it doesn't, but...they already won."
That being said, I know what I'll be doing this time next year. When you have the kind of life that already spent all your tears...medical school looks like a cool breeze on a hot summer day.
See you guys when I have that A.
I'm writing this because A) I finally just the last of my apps and B) I know there's gotta be someone who needs to hear it today.
I am not a genius. I skipped most of high-school because I was made fun of constantly. Which I didn't understand. I wasn't super-nerdy or super-anything really. I was just poor, and very quiet.
I dual-enrolled to finish high school. College was a much better fit, but I still had a lot of issues. I got kicked out of my home as a teen by my dear tosspot of a father, over something neither of us remember. I moved in with a stranger, then another stranger, then another. I worked 40+ hours a week. I partied a lot because I didn't know what else to do. The people around me, the ones who didn't bully me, partied a lot.
I have no idea what my high school GPA was. I showed up late to my SAT because the city bus was late. Somehow I did well enough to get a scholarship. When I went to get my diploma, they asked for ID because I'd been there so little. What time I did spend on campus was usually in in-school-suspension for being late.
The boyfriend I met straight out of HS was a bit of a train-wreck. I spent a couple years trying to fix him before we had a kid together. He decided to split not long ago. Fortunately, I got to keep the awesome kid.
Somewhere in there I figured out how to use my brain to get a good job. I made sure I didn't become like my lamentable parents, whom I love(d), but were severely under-qualified.
When I first dual-enrolled, I wanted to be a doctor. But I quickly realized that there was no way I could make it happen as the dumb kid I was at the time. And that's not self-deprecation, that's just what it was. I remember walking out of my first chemistry midterm crying, not recognizing a single character on the page.
The friend who had been driving me to the chem class died shortly thereafter of an overdose. He said he only majored in chemistry so he could learn to make drugs. I didn't believe him. I knew he wanted the same thing I wanted.
I spent 10 years afraid of science, and my dreams.
I was told, "Don't do it," "Pick another field," and "It's not practical for someone in your position."
Some of the people who told me that were soon after writing my letters of recommendation.
I just submitted my applications, and you know what? Whether or not I make it doesn't matter at this moment. For one single minute in the past 3 years I feel like I can just breathe.
The fact that I got to this point...well, it's like that moment in the movies where that person with a crap hand is standing in front of the long shot and the movie ends right there. And you think, "Well, maybe it works out and maybe it doesn't, but...they already won."
That being said, I know what I'll be doing this time next year. When you have the kind of life that already spent all your tears...medical school looks like a cool breeze on a hot summer day.
See you guys when I have that A.
Keep the faith, guys. Putting down a deposit tomorrow. Which means I'm hitting the pawn shop now. Just kidding. But almost seriously.
