Recently laid off, need advice going forward

[Geekman55]

Where to start...

I started on my journey to enter medical school during the Fall of 2014. I completed 3 classes while working full-time as an engineer. During the Spring of 2016, I had one more class to take (Biochemistry). I was wait-listed on this class and eventually had to drop it due to a spot not opening up. My plan was to take that class and study for the MCAT.

During that spring, I decided to explore online dating. I was 28 and ready to meet someone that I could have a relationship with. I feel extremely lucky to have met a beautiful girl and we have been together since then. However, when making that relationship work and spending time with her, I decided there was no way I could also work full-time and study for the MCAT, so I postponed my MCAT studying for an entire year.

I decided to start studying again this past January. I didn't do much studying and kind of kept putting it off because I couldn't decide if I wanted medical school anymore or not. I have/had all these doubts in my head of being too old, whether it was really what I wanted, and if the struggle for the next 7+ years would be worth the reward. I'm also a little worried that my relationship may crumble if I get into medical school due to not being able to spend enough time with my significant other.

Anyway, fast forward to last week and I received an email to meet with my manager and HR. My company decided to layoff about 1500 employees and my job was one of them. I wasn't let go for performance reasons necessarily, but due to restructuring and eliminating my position. I am able to either take severance, or apply for another position within the company or look for a job outside this company.

Right now as I see it, I have a few options:
1. Apply for another engineering position. Potentially study for MCAT, but likely won't be ready for a June-ish test date
2. Apply for another engineering position, pay off debt, get ready to pop the question to the gf, and prepare to settle down and eventually start a family in a few years.
3. Use unemployment + my severance and start studying full-time for the MCAT. I have 3.5 weeks left of work, but after that I could put in 40-80 hrs a week of studying to prep. My initial score without studying at all was around 501. I think that was a good starting point and that I can get to 510 and hopefully in the 514 area. After the application phase, I would need to find some sort of job to help pay the bills until medical school starts.

I'm really struggling making this decision. A part of me thinks that I will regret not going for the MCAT and that I would be unhappy to moderately happy with a new engineering job. Perhaps I could learn to be happy in a desk job if I reframed my way of thinking. Is personal life > professional life? Is it worth it to delay my personal life a bit and struggle financially to ultimately do something that I think I will love doing?

The other part of me thinks that if I go for the MCAT, my relationship could crumble over time and the stress of living off of just my gfs salary (she is a RN) may be too much. My gf says she will be supportive, but I know she is worried about it. I also know she loves me and wants me to be happy.

I've been thinking about why I wanted to get into medical school in the first place and see if I can reinvigorate my desire to go for it. I really want to get into psychiatry, but I'm not sure if or how much I will enjoy some of the other fields during medical school. Medical school may be harder for me for that reason. However, I know that if I get into a field I love and I am helping people everyday that I will get satisfaction in my job and be happy. For some reason, I can't get that satisfaction doing a desk job as an engineer working for a large company.

Any comments are appreciated as I continue to debate this decision in my head.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[bears1992]

Oh man you've got a lot going on in this post. I say if you really want to do medicine then you should fully commit but that's for you to decide. Studying for the MCAT is possible with a full time job though so I think studying for the MCAT without any income is going to strain your relationship with your gf. If you already scoring a 501 with your MCAT then 2 months of 2 hours a day of study should be enough to boost your score 7-12 points. Your priority should be to figure out if you really want medicine. You don't want to get through medical school and figure it out that it's not for you. Nobody on this site is really going to be able to tell you if medicine is right for you or not, so maybe shadow a physician or volunteer in a hospital to get a feel for it.

 

[Geekman55]

I have completed around 100 hrs of volunteer work at the main hospital here back when I was taking classes. It was quite the experience and I enjoyed it, but it didn't give me a clear feeling for what it would be like to be a psychiatrist day-to-day. I kind of know what a psychiatrist does day-to-day because I've seen one personally, but I've never shadowed one which I do think would be helpful if I can find the opportunity.

I'm a little hesitant on thinking that I can get the MCAT score I need for the local school if I'm job searching and taking on a brand new job. Mainly because I need a lot of work on organic chemistry and I have never taken biochemistry. The other subjects hopefully won't require as much work, but I don't really know that yet until I'm fully committed and seeing my practice exam score change.

Back when I was volunteering, I felt like I was all in. Now that I have the serious gf, I'm hesitant because of the stress that I know lies ahead. I'm leaning towards just going for it because I feel like I can get another job in engineering after I finish the test. However, I'm not sure I could get the score I need if I try to do the new job + study and I don't want to delay the application process another year. I also don't want to do something that isn't right for me. There is so much going on in my head right now. Thanks for the reply

 

[bears1992]

I have completed around 100 hrs of volunteer work at the main hospital here back when I was taking classes. It was quite the experience and I enjoyed it, but it didn't give me a clear feeling for what it would be like to be a psychiatrist day-to-day. I kind of know what a psychiatrist does day-to-day because I've seen one personally, but I've never shadowed one which I do think would be helpful if I can find the opportunity.

I'm a little hesitant on thinking that I can get the MCAT score I need for the local school if I'm job searching and taking on a brand new job. Mainly because I need a lot of work on organic chemistry and I have never taken biochemistry. The other subjects hopefully won't require as much work, but I don't really know that yet until I'm fully committed and seeing my practice exam score change.

Back when I was volunteering, I felt like I was all in. Now that I have the serious gf, I'm hesitant because of the stress that I know lies ahead. I'm leaning towards just going for it because I feel like I can get another job in engineering after I finish the test. However, I'm not sure I could get the score I need if I try to do the new job + study and I don't want to delay the application process another year. I also don't want to do something that isn't right for me. There is so much going on in my head right now. Thanks for the reply

I imagine most of the premeds that are going to comment on your post are going to tell you to stay in engineering, but as a full time mechanical engineer myself studying for MCAT, do whatever you want to do! The only advice I can really give is don't go into medicine until you are 100%. If you end up getting halfway through medical school and burning out, you are going to have $150,000 in debt with no doctor income to pay it off.

As for the MCAT, I have not taken biochem either and I'm not that strong in biology and/or chemistry because my undergrad was full of engineering courses. If you are like me and feel that you are severely lacking in bio/chem/phsyc even after taking the prereqs like myself, I would buy the Kaplan book set and read each book cover to cover. Everyone complains about Kaplan but it teaches you as if you had never had the prereqs before. I read those books for 2 hours a day and I had finished the entire set after 2 months. The MCAT is actually very little about content and more about learning new stuff from a passage and then answering questions about it (engineer's are great at that!)

 

[futuremdforme]

If you know you can get another engineering job a few months down the line, take the severance and find a job after you take the MCAT. I worked full-time throughout the application process and had about 6 weeks off prior to starting.

Even if studying goes terribly, you can always start looking for a job then. This is really your only opportunity to get paid to study.

 

[deleted831695]

I decided to start studying again this past January. I didn't do much studying and kind of kept putting it off because I couldn't decide if I wanted medical school anymore or not. I have/had all these doubts in my head of being too old, whether it was really what I wanted, and if the struggle for the next 7+ years would be worth the reward. I'm also a little worried that my relationship may crumble if I get into medical school due to not being able to spend enough time with my significant other.

Medicine is a long road. You're 29(?) now. When you're finished, you'll be 37-40. Let's say you're 40 and you work till 65. Even if I lowball 25*200k - 500k of debt - bit more in taxes/insurance, that's still slightly more if you did 36 years * 120k as an engineer. You're not too old.

As for your relationship...people do make it work.

Anyway, fast forward to last week and I received an email to meet with my manager and HR. My company decided to layoff about 1500 employees and my job was one of them. I wasn't let go for performance reasons necessarily, but due to restructuring and eliminating my position. I am able to either take severance, or apply for another position within the company or look for a job outside this company.

Right now as I see it, I have a few options:
1. Apply for another engineering position. Potentially study for MCAT, but likely won't be ready for a June-ish test date
2. Apply for another engineering position, pay off debt, get ready to pop the question to the gf, and prepare to settle down and eventually start a family in a few years.
3. Use unemployment + my severance and start studying full-time for the MCAT. I have 3.5 weeks left of work, but after that I could put in 40-80 hrs a week of studying to prep. My initial score without studying at all was around 501. I think that was a good starting point and that I can get to 510 and hopefully in the 514 area. After the application phase, I would need to find some sort of job to help pay the bills until medical school starts.

Sorry about the layoff. I'd take option 3. Are you planning on applying this cycle?

I'm really struggling making this decision. A part of me thinks that I will regret not going for the MCAT and that I would be unhappy to moderately happy with a new engineering job. Perhaps I could learn to be happy in a desk job if I reframed my way of thinking. Is personal life > professional life? Is it worth it to delay my personal life a bit and struggle financially to ultimately do something that I think I will love doing? The other part of me thinks that if I go for the MCAT, my relationship could crumble over time and the stress of living off of just my gfs salary (she is a RN) may be too much. My gf says she will be supportive, but I know she is worried about it. I also know she loves me and wants me to be happy.

It's delayed gratification. A lot of years of hard work and zero or lesser (in residency) salary, but a higher pay, more stable, and more gratifying career when you're an attending physician.

That said, engineering (or if you do engineering -> business school) offers some nice career options as well. I know somebody who makes 120k and works from home 4 days of the week.

I've been thinking about why I wanted to get into medical school in the first place and see if I can reinvigorate my desire to go for it. I really want to get into psychiatry, but I'm not sure if or how much I will enjoy some of the other fields during medical school. Medical school may be harder for me for that reason. However, I know that if I get into a field I love and I am helping people everyday that I will get satisfaction in my job and be happy. For some reason, I can't get that satisfaction doing a desk job as an engineer working for a large company. Any comments are appreciated as I continue to debate this decision in my head.

These are tough life choices. One thing for certain is that during the application cycle you'll be asked why you want to go into medicine, and your application, personal statement, secondary essays, and interview will have to reflect that commitment. If becoming a physician seems too much, there are good careers in midlevel healthcare professions.

 

[Geekman55]

If you know you can get another engineering job a few months down the line, take the severance and find a job after you take the MCAT. I worked full-time throughout the application process and had about 6 weeks off prior to starting.

Even if studying goes terribly, you can always start looking for a job then. This is really your only opportunity to get paid to study.

It won't be AS easy as now, because I'm not sure my current company will take me back if they know that I'm going to be entering med school in a year. However, I think I could get a job within a few months of looking. Severance and unemployment should get me to the end of July living normally. The only downside is I am not sure about health insurance and all that. That may be a bit more difficult. I do have some money in my roth 401k. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do with that yet.

 

[Geekman55]

Medicine is a long road. You're 29(?) now. When you're finished, you'll be 37-40. Let's say you're 40 and you work till 65. Even if I lowball 25*200k - 500k of debt - bit more in taxes/insurance, that's still slightly more if you did 36 years * 120k as an engineer. You're not too old.

Thanks for the post. I'm 30 now, but yeah, let's assume I'm around 39 when I finish. The math looks good. I may not have as much in my retirement account, but I could save more aggressively after I pay off my loans.

As for your relationship...people do make it work.

This is one of my biggest concerns. I do think we could make it work. I haven't always been the best at managing my time, so that is something I would have to crack down on to make sure I could spend quality time with her and still study.

Sorry about the layoff. I'd take option 3. Are you planning on applying this cycle?

If I choose option 3, I will definitely try to apply this cycle if I get a good enough score. I am sure that I can. Let's say worst case I don't get into my state school, I'm sure there will a school out there that would accept me...at least I hope so if I do well enough on the MCAT.

It's delayed gratification. A lot of years of hard work and zero or lesser (in residency) salary, but a higher pay, more stable, and more gratifying career when you're an attending physician.

That said, engineering (or if you do engineering -> business school) offers some nice career options as well. I know somebody who makes 120k and works from home 4 days of the week.

These are tough life choices. One thing for certain is that during the application cycle you'll be asked why you want to go into medicine, and your application, personal statement, secondary essays, and interview will have to reflect that commitment. If becoming a physician seems too much, there are good careers in midlevel healthcare professions.

I think the only way I could stay in engineering is if I had a serious mindset shift. The business side was always tempting for me, but I don't feel like I could ever motivate myself to do well enough to get a manager job at my company because I just don't care enough. That said, even as a 30 year old engineer, I'm making 85k with 5-15k bonus. My next job will probably be in the 90-100k area and I should be making around 120k when I'm in my mid 30-40.

 

[bears1992]

Thanks for the post. I'm 30 now, but yeah, let's assume I'm around 39 when I finish. The math looks good. I may not have as much in my retirement account, but I could save more aggressively after I pay off my loans.


This is one of my biggest concerns. I do think we could make it work. I haven't always been the best at managing my time, so that is something I would have to crack down on to make sure I could spend quality time with her and still study.

If I choose option 3, I will definitely try to apply this cycle if I get a good enough score. I am sure that I can. Let's say worst case I don't get into my state school, I'm sure there will a school out there that would accept me...at least I hope so if I do well enough on the MCAT.


I think the only way I could stay in engineering is if I had a serious mindset shift. The business side was always tempting for me, but I don't feel like I could ever motivate myself to do well enough to get a manager job at my company because I just don't care enough. That said, even as a 30 year old engineer, I'm making 85k with 5-15k bonus. My next job will probably be in the 90-100k area and I should be making around 120k when I'm in my mid 30-40.

People way older than you have applied and got in. Don't listen to anyone who says 30 is too old. You are only 6 years older than the average maltriculant. There are tons of people posting in this forum that are in their 40's

 

[deleted831695]

If I choose option 3, I will definitely try to apply this cycle if I get a good enough score. I am sure that I can. Let's say worst case I don't get into my state school, I'm sure there will a school out there that would accept me...at least I hope so if I do well enough on the MCAT.

With 3.5 weeks left of work, you're basically looking at mid-end April before you begin studying. That leaves you with May and June, which is not a lot of time. It's doable, but it'll be intense and you might get burned out.

If you aiming for MD and want the best chances, then you should aim to send in your primary by early July, and try to have everything (primary, secondary, LORs, MCAT) in to a school by end of August/early September. Rolling admissions is real. I made the mistake (due to circumstances) of sending things late this cycle despite having an on paper profile for 'low-tier' MDs, and that cost me IIs. I still got some but no acceptances; thankfully, I did get into my state/public DO, which I'm more than happy since it was in my top 3 from the beginning.

What is your (science) GPA? If you decide to apply, do it smartly with MD and DO schools. There are people here who'll give you a recommended list of schools if you post in WAMC.

I think the only way I could stay in engineering is if I had a serious mindset shift. The business side was always tempting for me, but I don't feel like I could ever motivate myself to do well enough to get a manager job at my company because I just don't care enough. That said, even as a 30 year old engineer, I'm making 85k with 5-15k bonus. My next job will probably be in the 90-100k area and I should be making around 120k when I'm in my mid 30-40.

It's a big decision. Right now, you're in a position to be close to or at six figures of salary, 9-5 M-F job (I'm assuming), and are thinking of taking the next step with your gf and having a family in a few years (don't get me wrong, all of these can certainly happen if you're in school though it'll be tougher).

However, if you're very passionate about medicine and think you'll be miserable spending ~40 hours a week wherever this current line of work will take you, then at least for now study for the MCAT and see how it goes. At the very least, you have a great fallback.

 

[Geekman55]

With 3.5 weeks left of work, you're basically looking at mid-end April before you begin studying. That leaves you with May and June, which is not a lot of time. It's doable, but it'll be intense and you might get burned out.

If you aiming for MD and want the best chances, then you should aim to send in your primary by early July, and try to have everything (primary, secondary, LORs, MCAT) in to a school by end of August/early September. Rolling admissions is real. I made the mistake (due to circumstances) of sending things late this cycle despite having an on paper profile for 'low-tier' MDs, and that cost me IIs. I still got some but no acceptances; thankfully, I did get into my state/public DO, which I'm more than happy since it was in my top 3 from the beginning.

What is your (science) GPA? If you decide to apply, do it smartly with MD and DO schools. There are people here who'll give you a recommended list of schools if you post in WAMC.

Currently my science GPA is 3.35 and overall is 3.4ish. I need to take biochem at some point. I know this is on the low end for sure, but I'm hoping I get some slack with engineering curriculum (I also have a Masters degree from one of the top 3 engineering schools) and being postbac. I'm also hoping to get on the high end of MCAT score to help nullify my lower end GPA. If I can't get into my state school, my state also had a DO school and I'm OK applying to the schools in locations that I think will not make my gf miserable.

Oh, and I'll also add that I'm studying now. Maybe around 10-20 hrs a week or whatever I can handle. I would definitely ramp it up once I am done with my job though. I don't think I'll get any more burnt out doing this than doing my current job.

It's a big decision. Right now, you're in a position to be close to or at six figures of salary, 9-5 M-F job (I'm assuming), and are thinking of taking the next step with your gf and having a family in a few years (don't get me wrong, all of these can certainly happen if you're in school though it'll be tougher).

However, if you're very passionate about medicine and think you'll be miserable spending ~40 hours a week wherever this current line of work will take you, then at least for now study for the MCAT and see how it goes. At the very least, you have a great fallback.

I wish engineering jobs were 9-5 these days. It is more like 7-5, haha. They call it "casual overtime"

 

[futuremdforme]

It won't be AS easy as now, because I'm not sure my current company will take me back if they know that I'm going to be entering med school in a year. However, I think I could get a job within a few months of looking. Severance and unemployment should get me to the end of July living normally. The only downside is I am not sure about health insurance and all that. That may be a bit more difficult. I do have some money in my roth 401k. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do with that yet.

Ack forgot about health insurance. Make sure that's in line.

And obviously don't tell the company about med school! They proved to you that they are after their bottom line first. You owe them nothing. If they hire you back, work hard, do a great job while you're there, and give the 2 weeks notice when you're ready to go. (Frankly this applies to all jobs. You don't know that you're getting into med school so you don't want them planning for your exit.)

 

[KnowledgeBot4000]

Honestly my guess is it's going to be easy to be (at least at times) disappointed or frustrated with either option you pick:

#1) Go to medical school. Get frustrated with how much work it is and how time consuming it is. Get frustrated that it feels like everyone is studying all day when you're interested in multiple things and want to spend time with your significant other. If you don't study all day, you may have trouble competing with people who do (and you can't be sure you'll want to pursue a non-competitive field, as opinions and goals change).

#2) Don't go to medical school. You won't get complete satisfaction from your job, and constantly think "Man I should have just bit the bullet and gone to medical school" as you get older and going back gets more and more difficult.

For this reason, I'd try to take a step back. In reality, being healthy and in 'merica is pretty sweet, so try to look at both options as good options with pros/cons rather than end up disappointed with whatever you pick. Honestly, you don't sound really all that excited about the field, and you do sound very excited about having free to socialize and be with your GF. I would not recommend someone going to med school who doesn't really want to study science and isn't also ok with MASSIVE DELAYED GRATIFICATION. You don't sound like someone looking for MASSIVE DELAYED GRATIFICATION, which is totally fine and why medicine isn't the right path for most.

Hope that helps a bit. No one can make the decision except for you. I personally think the best way to approach professional school is to ask yourself "How ok am I with delaying gratification?" If you aren't ok with delaying it in a huge way, then I don't think it's likely the right path. But again, everyone is different and very hard to give good advice without knowing you personally.

 

[esob]

I wouldn't recommend starting a marriage out and then going to medical school. I've watched people try to do it in the military it more times than not turns out badly. New marriages and giant time commitments to things other than the relationship don't mix well.

 

[Geekman55]

Honestly my guess is it's going to be easy to be (at least at times) disappointed or frustrated with either option you pick:

#1) Go to medical school. Get frustrated with how much work it is and how time consuming it is. Get frustrated that it feels like everyone is studying all day when you're interested in multiple things and want to spend time with your significant other. If you don't study all day, you may have trouble competing with people who do (and you can't be sure you'll want to pursue a non-competitive field, as opinions and goals change).

#2) Don't go to medical school. You won't get complete satisfaction from your job, and constantly think "Man I should have just bit the bullet and gone to medical school" as you get older and going back gets more and more difficult.

For this reason, I'd try to take a step back. In reality, being healthy and in 'merica is pretty sweet, so try to look at both options as good options with pros/cons rather than end up disappointed with whatever you pick. Honestly, you don't sound really all that excited about the field, and you do sound very excited about having free to socialize and be with your GF. I would not recommend someone going to med school who doesn't really want to study science and isn't also ok with MASSIVE DELAYED GRATIFICATION. You don't sound like someone looking for MASSIVE DELAYED GRATIFICATION, which is totally fine and why medicine isn't the right path for most.

Hope that helps a bit. No one can make the decision except for you. I personally think the best way to approach professional school is to ask yourself "How ok am I with delaying gratification?" If you aren't ok with delaying it in a huge way, then I don't think it's likely the right path. But again, everyone is different and very hard to give good advice without knowing you personally.

I just saw this post. Thanks for your advice. You are right, I have struggled my entire life with delayed gratification. I always want what I want now. I've tried to work on this, but old habits die hard. This has caused significant struggle in my personal life. For instance, I could always get a B or sometimes even an A with just studying the night before. In college, I was much more concerned with having fun by playing video games or hanging out than studying and getting that A. Another example is dieting. I have always wanted to see my abs. I am by no means fat, but I am about 18% bodyfat. I have never had success dieting down to 10-15% because I would rather have that food now instead of waiting or eating a ton of veggies so I could have the long-term result.

On the other hand, I am completely OK with studying science and when I was taking some of my postbac classes, I was always looking forward to them and excited about what I was learning. Biology, genetics, psychology and sociology were fascinating to me. I felt way more interested than I ever did with engineering classes which bore me to death at times. One thing I've learned over time is that I love learning. In engineering, when I am doing a job I am learning for the first few months, but then it becomes stagnant and I become bored quickly. I love the idea of medicine and how it is constantly evolving and will require constant learning.

You are also right that in the back of my mind, I am unsure how I'm going to feel studying all day and seeing my girlfriend go out with her friends and partying while I am at home studying. I am not much of a party-goer, but I know I will wish I could spend more time with her. She is nervous about med school because I will be hanging out with a lot of other students all the time that are attractive and whatnot (as opposed to engineering coworkers, lol) and she thinks I may develop feelings or whatever. I tell her that the same could happen to her because she is a new RN. She could, and probably will be hit on by patients, doctors, other nurses, because she is very attractive. I know in my mind that I love her though and that I wouldn't let feelings for someone else develop to that level and would remain loyal.

Doing the math in my head concerns me about when/how we will get married. I guess I will have loans to help cover living expenses and we have her salary. By time I graduate, assuming Fall 2018 or 2019 matriculation, I would be 35-36 and she would be 32-33. I believe she would want to be married by then. We could probably hold off on kids until residency or just after, but I know that is towards the end of when she would want to wait for kids.

In my mind, financial security might be another reason for me to wait a year until I take the MCAT. I could take the 14k lump sum as a bonus for losing my job and get another job at my company. We could pay off most of our debt and get into our own place (currently we live in a big house with roommates who are my coworkers). From there it would just come down to being smart with money, paying off the last of her student debt or at least making the payments while I go to school. It could work...

I wish I had started actually studying for the MCAT sooner. If I had, I would be able to get a new job and be ready for the MCAT soon. I guess that shows how dedicated I am to the idea of med school and probably why I should delay the decision and get my **** in order before making such a huge decision.

 

[KnowledgeBot4000]

I just saw this post. Thanks for your advice. You are right, I have struggled my entire life with delayed gratification. I always want what I want now. I've tried to work on this, but old habits die hard. This has caused significant struggle in my personal life. For instance, I could always get a B or sometimes even an A with just studying the night before. In college, I was much more concerned with having fun by playing video games or hanging out than studying and getting that A. Another example is dieting. I have always wanted to see my abs. I am by no means fat, but I am about 18% bodyfat. I have never had success dieting down to 10-15% because I would rather have that food now instead of waiting or eating a ton of veggies so I could have the long-term result.

On the other hand, I am completely OK with studying science and when I was taking some of my postbac classes, I was always looking forward to them and excited about what I was learning. Biology, genetics, psychology and sociology were fascinating to me. I felt way more interested than I ever did with engineering classes which bore me to death at times. One thing I've learned over time is that I love learning. In engineering, when I am doing a job I am learning for the first few months, but then it becomes stagnant and I become bored quickly. I love the idea of medicine and how it is constantly evolving and will require constant learning.

This will very likely go away.

Studying science in undergrad is like talking with friends, learning about biomes and oceanography, or leaning a bit about chemicals and the fundamental laws of physics. All pretty interesting stuff and reasonably laid back. You also probably get to stop studying when you think "meh, good enough" and don't feel like everyone else in your class is studying all the time. So pay attention in class, be pretty smart and study a bit on weekends in a coffee shop, and you're probably good to go (this was the case for me).

In professional school, exams are more like this "Ok, Friday just ended and I just took an anatomy practical. I now need to study pharmacology for an exam on Monday where I'll be asked about 100 different drugs, their mechanisms of action, their side effects, contraindications, etc. Like everyone else in my class, I have a massive amount of studying I need to do by Monday to just be "kind of prepared," at least to the point where I'll almost certainly pass it though it's very unlikely I'll get a C. I have to study, study, study this stuff even if I don't think I'll retain it particularly well as I'll get asked many esoteric details on the exam. Now matter how boring this material is, I need to grind through it if I want to be pretty sure I'll pass. That means extremely focused studying for many hours.

I'll be honest with you, pretty much no one in my class likes studying, and the way you have to study in professional school is much more intense than undergrad. I would not make the assumption you will "like studying medicine," especially since your track record doesn't indicate you're someone who just loves studying medicine (in which case you'd be reading about it all the time right now and likely already in medical school.

You are also right that in the back of my mind, I am unsure how I'm going to feel studying all day and seeing my girlfriend go out with her friends and partying while I am at home studying. I am not much of a party-goer, but I know I will wish I could spend more time with her. She is nervous about med school because I will be hanging out with a lot of other students all the time that are attractive and whatnot (as opposed to engineering coworkers, lol) and she thinks I may develop feelings or whatever. I tell her that the same could happen to her because she is a new RN. She could, and probably will be hit on by patients, doctors, other nurses, because she is very attractive. I know in my mind that I love her though and that I wouldn't let feelings for someone else develop to that level and would remain loyal.

I'd be surprised if the answer is anything other than "it's going to suck ass." Who in the hell wants to study pharmacology, or memorize different skin pathologies in dermatology, or whatever you're currently being forced to memorize when you could go out and socialize with someone you care about?

This is delayed gratification. If it wasn't, being a doctor would be a slam dunk awesome choice for many people, since who doesn't want to be extremely skillful, respected, and make tons of money? Getting there is the problem.

Doing the math in my head concerns me about when/how we will get married. I guess I will have loans to help cover living expenses and we have her salary. By time I graduate, assuming Fall 2018 or 2019 matriculation, I would be 35-36 and she would be 32-33. I believe she would want to be married by then. We could probably hold off on kids until residency or just after, but I know that is towards the end of when she would want to wait for kids.

In my mind, financial security might be another reason for me to wait a year until I take the MCAT. I could take the 14k lump sum as a bonus for losing my job and get another job at my company. We could pay off most of our debt and get into our own place (currently we live in a big house with roommates who are my coworkers). From there it would just come down to being smart with money, paying off the last of her student debt or at least making the payments while I go to school. It could work...

I wish I had started actually studying for the MCAT sooner. If I had, I would be able to get a new job and be ready for the MCAT soon. I guess that shows how dedicated I am to the idea of med school and probably why I should delay the decision and get my **** in order before making such a huge decision.

These are hard questions to answer, but lots of relationships don't make it through medical school. I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is they think "base rates don't apply to me!" I think the medical school establishment encourages this, as you can't really answer questions honestly during an interview. For example:

Question: "How do you know being a physician is the right career for you?"
Honest Answer: "I don't. I know about 50% of people who go to medical school state they wouldn't recommend it or go again. I know depression rates are high and burnout rates are also very high for specialties I'm in. I also don't know if my wife/girlfriend etc, who is very supportive now, will change her mind once I'm in school and be unhappy that I'm in medical school for 4 years then residency for 3 years. I really can't predict how either me or my girlfriend will feel 5 years into the future, as there's really no way for me to know with certainty I'll be happy I went to medical school and won't get depressed, as no one goes to medical school thinking they'll be one of the students who regrets it. Yet, I still want to go and want to take the risk for (insert reasons)"

Again, this probably sounds like I'm trying to discourage you, and I'm really not. But I think you're being quite naive about this process as I think most people are, as you're kind of encouraged to be naive. People dislike the non-competitive specialties for a reason, and there's a reason many (most?) people with good board scores and marks bail on them when they can. People dislike working in the underserved areas for a reason. People get depressed in school for a reason. People have their relationships end for a reason. People get frustrated with getting into tons of debt and being treated as a "student" (so you're basically having to pay money to work at the bottom of the totem pole while simultaneously having to make sure to step on noe ones toes) for a reason.

FWIW, I'm actually a very happy person (in case my post gives you the wrong idea that I'm bitter or something), but I decided to pursue a less competitive specialty than I could have and still think approaching medical school with any attitude other than "This is absolutely massive delayed gratification for 7+ years, probably more so than I'm really comprehending right now" is a mistake.