Rude LOR writer...

[CafeMed]

So today I finally tracked down one of my LOR writers who hadn't responded to my email. It seemed to me like he was trying to avoid me, but I went ahead and asked him if he'd gotten my email regarding the LOR and he hesitated before finally saying, "yes" and then he just walked off quickly without even giving me a chance to say anything. I worked for this guy for 3 years. I have no idea if he's going to write the LOR or not or even if it's going to be any good. I'm currently trying to find a last minute replacement.

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[MilkmanAl]

If he's being a prick, don't bother with his LOR. A bad rec will tank your app in a hurry.

 

[JJAbrams]

If you already have a bad feeling about this letter (i.e. him being late and then giving you a cold shoulder face to face) definitely do not use it. I'd tell him not to bother with it anymore. If you submit his letter, that is if he ever writes it, you'll be stressed out over what he might have said. It's not worth it.

 

[jr doctor in sd]

Agree with the above posts. I ran into the same situation recently. Except, I didn't even ask for a LOR. I had simply asked my PI (who is extremely busy and huge at my school with 3 secretaries) if there is any way I can talk to him about getting my own little project/presentations/etc. going and he also said sure we'll set up a meeting sometime. When I followed up, he told me maybe twice that we had to reschedule. Then I confronted him (after working FREE for over a year) and he just said oh well no opportunities right now maybe later. And I had to tell him ok see ya later.

Sucks when you work hard for someone and they refuse to show you any respect or thanks back

Head up OP, better off gettin a letter from ANYONE else

 

[CafeMed]

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I was feeling really down about the whole situation because I never expected it from him. I'm hoping one of the other people who knows me well will be willing to write me a LOR on such short notice.

 

[xrevision]

1 bad enough LOR will kill even a 4.0 42+ applicant.

 

[Premed Worrier]

Abort, count your losses and suck it up...sorry to hear though

 

[Lukkie]

ill go beat him up.

 

[WinterLights]

I think its time to give Uncle Tony a call.

 

[hants]

sounds like a shady professor. so you work with the dude for 3 years and he can't even write a LOR for you? pretty sad

 

[tabletop]

1 bad enough LOR will kill even a 4.0 42+ applicant.

How bad of a letter can screw you over? From what I know, LOR writers won't write "bad" stuff about you. Either they'll refuse you or write a flat letter. Would a flat letter hurt you? Or would it just not help?

 

[silas2642]

How bad of a letter can screw you over? From what I know, LOR writers won't write "bad" stuff about you. Either they'll refuse you or write a flat letter. Would a flat letter hurt you? Or would it just not help?

People will definitely write you a bad letter of recommendation-- it doesn't happen often because the people that you choose to write your lors are supposed to write you positive lors. That's why when they are negative they sink you extremely fast.

I certainly agree with what the previous posters said-- don't use this person to write you a letter. Cut your losses and move on. If he writes you a poor letter or even a neutral one after working with him for three years, that could sink you faster than a poor gpa or a poor mcat.

If you are asked on the interview trail why, after working with Professor X for three years, he did not write you a letter of recommendation, simply state that you did, however due to his busy schedule he was not able to submit it in a timely fashion.

I would write him a professional letter or email and thank him for his mentorship for the past three years (even if he was wishy-washy). State that you understand that because of his busy schedule and time commitments, you are more than aware that writing a letter for you in a timely fashion would be impractical and that you appreciate his willingness to do so. Then go find someone else asap.

 

[xrevision]

I say that because I know a 4.0 student with a 39 MCAT who had 2 interviews last year out of 12 schools. Great ECs, research, and the whole deal. 1 bad LOR. He got in off of 1 waitlist... in July.

 

[Medstudent85]

The only way you should take that letter is if for example in the case of my school, you can have more than the required letters, the premed advisor would read them and pick the best letters to include in your packet. Only accept his letter if you have extra letters and someone can read them and decide wether to include them or not.

 

[tabletop]

People will definitely write you a bad letter of recommendation-- it doesn't happen often because the people that you choose to write your lors are supposed to write you positive lors. That's why when they are negative they sink you extremely fast.

Actually, I'm going to have to disagree with that. People will most of the time NOT write bad letters. They will most probably refuse to write you a letter (or suggest that you get a letter from someone else). This is simply because that's protocol. If they agree to write you a "letter of RECOMMENDATION", that means they are recommending you for such-and-such position. Anyone who's experienced in LOR writing will know that protocol is to write letters for someone you would like to recommend and to politely refuse those who you would not recommend. Agreeing to write a letter, and then writing a negative one, is not following protocol and actually makes the writer look really bad. This goes for both school admissions and the professional world. A negative LOR is definitely not unheard of, but not something you would see from a prof with a strong reputation (as seems to be the OP's case).

 

[calnation]

People who write bad lor's must be the worst kind of people.
and
People who don't respect what others have done for them are the worst kind of people.

 

[DEdm]

I don't know if this point has been addressed yet, but he could be acting this way because he doesn't want to give you a bad LOR. I am not by any means saying that you deserve a bad one, but it could be his way of avoiding writing it because he thinks it would hurt you in the long run even if he faked it. (Or he's just the kind of person who is ungrateful and thinks he is better than everyone else).

Either way good luck.

 

[CafeMed]

ill go beat him up.

I like this idea. Take him down in the Court of Sciences. South Campus needs more excitement.

I would write him a professional letter or email and thank him for his mentorship for the past three years (even if he was wishy-washy). State that you understand that because of his busy schedule and time commitments, you are more than aware that writing a letter for you in a timely fashion would be impractical and that you appreciate his willingness to do so. Then go find someone else asap.

I took this advice and sent him an email today saying that I understand that he is busy and will not be able to write me a LOR in time, particularly since the deadline for school X is next week. I ended by thanking him, man was that hard to do. Hopefully, he doesn't get even more attitude and get miffed by me not wanting a LOR from him.

People who don't respect what others have done for them are the worst kind of people.

Absolutely, I've been nothing but helpful to this guy and he had even told me that he really appreciates the fact that I'm always prompt and reliable and get stuff done on time. Yet, when it comes to helping me out with something so vital to my future, he can't be bothered. He was very friendly with me when I worked for him so I'm not sure what is up with this attitude.

Good news, though, someone else that I emailed finally responded and said they'd be willing to write the LOR, but I don't know if they'll be able to get it done by next week. We'll see!

 

[tabletop]

Absolutely, I've been nothing but helpful to this guy and he had even told me that he really appreciates the fact that I'm always prompt and reliable and get stuff done on time. Yet, when it comes to helping me out with something so vital to my future, he can't be bothered. He was very friendly with me when I worked for him so I'm not sure what is up with this attitude.

Good news, though, someone else that I emailed finally responded and said they'd be willing to write the LOR, but I don't know if they'll be able to get it done by next week. We'll see!

I'm glad you found another LOR writer. Seems like you worked your butt off for this guy (gave him loads of FREE help), and when you ask for something simple in return, you get no slack. I'm not a professor or anything, but IMO I would feel honored if someone asked me to write a LOR because either they value my thoughts, or they think of me highly enough to believe that someone else would value my thoughts.

In any case, I really hope this wasn't his way of avoiding writing you a letter. Leading you on, making you think you had a LOR from him, not spending your time looking for another LOR writer because you were banking on his, etc.

Did he respond to the email?? Or is that too nosy? haha I'm just interested in seeing how he dodges this one. But good luck!

 

[CafeMed]

I'm glad you found another LOR writer. Seems like you worked your butt off for this guy (gave him loads of FREE help), and when you ask for something simple in return, you get no slack. I'm not a professor or anything, but IMO I would feel honored if someone asked me to write a LOR because either they value my thoughts, or they think of me highly enough to believe that someone else would value my thoughts.

In any case, I really hope this wasn't his way of avoiding writing you a letter. Leading you on, making you think you had a LOR from him, not spending your time looking for another LOR writer because you were banking on his, etc.

Did he respond to the email?? Or is that too nosy? haha I'm just interested in seeing how he dodges this one. But good luck!

Thanks, I'm really happy today. Same here, I don't get why people have such a hard time writing LORs when it doesn't cost them much and someone's future is riding on that one little letter. Yesterday I was so down, because here I am, lucky in the first place to get a secondary from this school and then to think that things could be screwed up because of a LOR situation was really depressing.

No word from him yet. I'll give you guys an update when or maybe I should say IF I hear back from him.

 

[Lukkie]

Good news, though, someone else that I emailed finally responded and said they'd be willing to write the LOR, but I don't know if they'll be able to get it done by next week. We'll see!

glad to hear. but its still a shame about the first guy. LOR writing is part of the job and its pretty ridiculous how he snubbed you after working for him for THREE YEARS. hopefully it all goes well with the new one!

 

[RSAgator]

I initially read this thread as "Nude LOR writer" and for that reason alone I clicked it. Well, there's my contribution to it.

 

[Psycho Doctor]

I like this idea. Take him down in the Court of Sciences. South Campus needs more excitement.



I took this advice and sent him an email today saying that I understand that he is busy and will not be able to write me a LOR in time, particularly since the deadline for school X is next week. I ended by thanking him, man was that hard to do. Hopefully, he doesn't get even more attitude and get miffed by me not wanting a LOR from him.



Absolutely, I've been nothing but helpful to this guy and he had even told me that he really appreciates the fact that I'm always prompt and reliable and get stuff done on time. Yet, when it comes to helping me out with something so vital to my future, he can't be bothered. He was very friendly with me when I worked for him so I'm not sure what is up with this attitude.

Good news, though, someone else that I emailed finally responded and said they'd be willing to write the LOR, but I don't know if they'll be able to get it done by next week. We'll see!

I really don't think he would have written you a bad letter. I think his response was because he had forgotten or was embarrassed that he hadn't done it yet. He could have put it off hoping to find the time needed to write a strong letter. I know of doctors and professors who had to be reminded multiple times and ended up writing a really strong letter once they found the time to do it. You did the right thing to thank him for the experience and who knows he may still end up writing a positive letter for you.

 

[Retsage]

I initially read this thread as "Nude LOR writer" and for that reason alone I clicked it. Well, there's my contribution to it.

And a fine contribution it was, sir.

 

[CafeMed]

glad to hear. but its still a shame about the first guy. LOR writing is part of the job and its pretty ridiculous how he snubbed you after working for him for THREE YEARS. hopefully it all goes well with the new one!

Yeah, very disappointing especially since I thought I'd get a really good LOR from him.

I initially read this thread as "Nude LOR writer" and for that reason alone I clicked it. Well, there's my contribution to it.

I don't think I'd want to see any of my LOR writers nude.

I really don't think he would have written you a bad letter. I think his response was because he had forgotten or was embarrassed that he hadn't done it yet. He could have put it off hoping to find the time needed to write a strong letter. I know of doctors and professors who had to be reminded multiple times and ended up writing a really strong letter once they found the time to do it. You did the right thing to thank him for the experience and who knows he may still end up writing a positive letter for you.

Maybe not a bad LOR. I was mainly worried that he was annoyed at me for the constant reminders (I hate badgering people like that, but you gotta do what you gotta do to get stuff done) and that his annoyance would make for a LOR that's not bad, but not great.

 

[cheasus]

People will definitely write you a bad letter of recommendation-- it doesn't happen often because the people that you choose to write your lors are supposed to write you positive lors. That's why when they are negative they sink you extremely fast.

I certainly agree with what the previous posters said-- don't use this person to write you a letter. Cut your losses and move on. If he writes you a poor letter or even a neutral one after working with him for three years, that could sink you faster than a poor gpa or a poor mcat.

If you are asked on the interview trail why, after working with Professor X for three years, he did not write you a letter of recommendation, simply state that you did, however due to his busy schedule he was not able to submit it in a timely fashion.

I would write him a professional letter or email and thank him for his mentorship for the past three years (even if he was wishy-washy). State that you understand that because of his busy schedule and time commitments, you are more than aware that writing a letter for you in a timely fashion would be impractical and that you appreciate his willingness to do so. Then go find someone else asap.

Very good advice.

 

[CafeMed]

So my LOR writer wrote me back an email and said that he didn't realize I had received a secondary invitation from school X. He said he was impressed and that he assumed I wanted the LOR ASAP because it is school X, after all (Ummmm...I've only been trying to get a letter from him since June and now he's just realized the urgency??). He said I could stop by on Monday to pick up the letter from him so that I could send it to the school right away. Wow, so if it wasn't school X, he wouldn't have bothered?!

 

[Cujo]

So my LOR writer wrote me back an email and said that he didn't realize I had received a secondary invitation from school X. He said he was impressed and that he assumed I wanted the LOR ASAP because it is school X, after all (Ummmm...I've only been trying to get a letter from him since June and now he's just realized the urgency??). He said I could stop by on Monday to pick up the letter from him so that I could send it to the school right away. Wow, so if it wasn't school X, he wouldn't have bothered?!

Do you trust him still? If school X is important to you I'd have to really consider whether or not to use his letter.

 

[CafeMed]

Do you trust him still? If school X is important to you I'd have to really consider whether or not to use his letter.

I believe I'm going to have enough LOR's without him so I'm going to pick it up from him and then think about whether I'll use it or not.

 

[tabletop]

You said he is a well-known guy. It wouldn't hurt to use it. He can only say good things about you.

 

[cleothecat]

If you are ambivalent whether the LOR will be enthusiastic about you, then be careful.

A lukewarm LOR raises red flags. A negative LOR kills the chances of even the best candidate.

 

[diosa428]

So my LOR writer wrote me back an email and said that he didn't realize I had received a secondary invitation from school X. He said he was impressed and that he assumed I wanted the LOR ASAP because it is school X, after all (Ummmm...I've only been trying to get a letter from him since June and now he's just realized the urgency??). He said I could stop by on Monday to pick up the letter from him so that I could send it to the school right away. Wow, so if it wasn't school X, he wouldn't have bothered?!

It's possible that he feels like a jerk for making you wait so long and really has no good excuse, so he came up with this reason to have it done all of a sudden (although a simple "sorry, I've been busy, but I finally have it ready for you" probably would have been sufficient). Anyway, if he's making such a big deal over school X, he probably wrote you a good letter. If you can include an extra letter, I think it would be fine to include along with your other letters. But I'm confused - aren't you applying to more than one school? So wouldn't you need more than one copy of the letter?

 

[Vihsadas]

Just try and make sure that he's not writing his letter specifically for school X. Your letter may not be that useable at other schools then.

 

[CafeMed]

It's possible that he feels like a jerk for making you wait so long and really has no good excuse, so he came up with this reason to have it done all of a sudden (although a simple "sorry, I've been busy, but I finally have it ready for you" probably would have been sufficient). Anyway, if he's making such a big deal over school X, he probably wrote you a good letter. If you can include an extra letter, I think it would be fine to include along with your other letters. But I'm confused - aren't you applying to more than one school? So wouldn't you need more than one copy of the letter?

Hopefully, it's good! When I picked it up from him he wished me luck so that's a good sign. Yes, I'm applying to more than one school. I'm using the letter service of the school so I'm going to drop it off for them (he signed the seal on the envelope) and they will send out copies as needed.

Just try and make sure that he's not writing his letter specifically for school X. Your letter may not be that useable at other schools then.

When I made my original request, I asked him to write it for medical school in general and that I'm applying to around 15 schools so I'm hoping he understands that I'll need to use it for other schools and that he didn't decide to write it just for school X.

 

[hants]

i still wouldnt use him. it seems that the only reason that hes going to write this letter now is because he found out you get a secondary from X school. he should have been this interested in writing a LOR for you the first time you asked, not after the fact and hella days later...

 

[CafeMed]

i still wouldnt use him. it seems that the only reason that hes going to write this letter now is because he found out you get a secondary from X school. he should have been this interested in writing a LOR for you the first time you asked, not after the fact and hella days later...

I'm not really sure why he cares so much about the school name, it shouldn't even matter to him.

Hella...been awhile since I heard that one! I miss my Norcal days...

 

[mrcmedman]

It sure sucks when someone who you thought would definitely give you a an amazing LOR pretty much refuses to do so. It puts you in a conundrum because there are only so many profs that you know well enough to warrant a well-written letter.

I found myself in a similar situation when I did (paid) research under a PI for two summers, and then he told me that he wouldn't have time to write me a decent letter even though I had asked him months in advance. I was even in this guy's class for two years straight, and in one of the courses, I had the highest mark. He had previously praised my work in his labs. But when I asked him for a courteous favour, he just looked the other away.