Same medical school as significant other?

Discussion in 'Pre-Medical - MD' started by ejay286, May 18, 2008.

  1. ejay286

    ejay286 Member

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    I started dating a girl who is also pre-med at my school, turns out that we are planning on applying to many of the same schools. If accepted to the same school, do you guys think it would be a good idea for us both to attend? As far as interfering with school work goes we handle that fairly well presently considering we take alot of the same classes (not at the same time tho cause I'm a year ahead) so we understand how important studying is. Anyone have experiences with this type of thing?
     
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  3. Captain Fantastic

    Physician

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    :confused:

    That's a lot of ifs, but I would prefer to attend the same school as my SO.
     
  4. moe_4eva

    moe_4eva doprepd on my haed

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    A couple at my UG are going to the same med school. My cousin and his fiancee actually petitioned to go to the same law school together after one got in and the other didn't. So it is definitely possible, although not something you can count on (I'll be going OOS from where my fiancee is attending grad school).
     
  5. kami333

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    My gf and I are going to be applying to the same schools, we're both non-trads with very similar stats and ECs, and have been taking some of the same classes. I think it helps studying since we always have a study partner and it saves time because we can take turns going to lectures when we are short on time:D

    The big IF is will we get into the same schools...
     
  6. kenmc3

    kenmc3 Senior Member

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    There was a couple that came to my school together and now 3 years later they are engaged.
     
  7. nu2004

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    depends on how serious you are, or think you are, at this point. you're going to meet a lot of smart, engaging, medically-oriented people in med school :)

    that said, i am starting med school this year and hoping that my girlfriend will be able to follow me next year. so, good luck to us!
     
  8. Hurricane95

    Hurricane95 Senior Member

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    Sure, why not. I mean, if you're already most likely headed to the same school, then go for it. As much as I am against dating within your class, if you were together before school started, that's cool. I think it would be silly to purposely avoid attending the same school, if that's what you're wondering.
     
  9. Hurricane95

    Hurricane95 Senior Member

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    Not necessarily a good thing.

    Sorry to be a downer, but most of the attractive ones will be taken, and some of the others, well, won't be all that great. Don't count on waiting for medical school to meet someone. The odds are against it. It could happen, but be ready to look elsewhere.
     
  10. Suicide Doc

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    MY GIRLFRIEND and I, we go to medical school together. I told her I love her after one week.

    was this a good idea y/n
     
  11. nu2004

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    lol. two seconds before a ban.
     
  12. armybound

    armybound future urologist.
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    good call.
     
  13. Instatewaiter

    Instatewaiter But... there's a troponin

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    basically if you dont attend the same school you will break up. So if you want to stay together...
     
  14. ssisterdoc

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    I don't want to be pessimistic, but is she your significant other right now, or is she really your significant other? That is, have you two talked seriously about a long-term relationship (and possibly marriage) and what that commitment entails? If you don't have a real possibility of being with her for a very long time why bother basing important, possibly life-altering, decisions on her?

    I will be attending the same medical school and will be in the same class as my bf. We and our family are very happy and pleased. We already know that marriage is in our future-as he always says, it's not a question of if, but a question of when. Can you say the same thing to your gf? If so, then apply with her in mind. The med school application process is very stressful, so your relationship will be put to the test, either way.
     
  15. ymnCheetos

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    My fianee is going to med school in michigan and i will either be in illinois or new york. we applied to all the same schools but ended up getting very diff interviews/acceptances. Its gonna be a loooooooooong 4 years. I guess the point is that even if you apply to all the same schools you may not end up even close. The process is too unpredictable.
     
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  17. medgrlsox21

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    same here :( I'd say if you feel very strongly about the person its a good idea but lets face it either way you break up before or you break up during its gonna be akward or at least always the "ex' complex hopefully you're both adult enough to handle it but i'd say a partner sharing in the same stresses is a plus not a minus
     
  18. LindsayRein1

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    interesting...!
     
  19. Textuality

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    I feel like a relationship between two premeds would be really hard, first, you might not get into the same med school, and then you might not get into residencies in the same city, and then...etc until one of you is willing to give up your first choice to be together. :/ It might work if one of you, or neither of you are very stubborn/prideful, but I feel like it might lead eventually to resentment if somebody's medical career out trumps the other when it comes time to make decisions about where to move, etc.

    I tried dating a few pre-med and pre-law students, but even though most of those guys said they'd be willing to compromise and work things out, I think they still assumed that if we wanted to be in the same city, then I'd have to be the one to make career compromises since I was "the woman". Awkward.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are couple out there that make it work, and more power to them. It's just something you might want to make clear, or think about cause it could be a deal breaker down the road.
     
  20. Hurricane95

    Hurricane95 Senior Member

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    It's funny that if you read many of the posts on SDN, you'll see that the prevalent attitude seems to be to wait for medical school to find your significant other. So many people think this will solve their singleness problem. Yet it's true...lots of people say that usually 1/3 to 1/2 of their class comes in already taken in some way - either married, engaged, or in a stable relationship. Assuming you're not just settling for anyone who will bite (Not to be superficial, but it's true, physical attractiveness is a must, along with a good matching personality), we're talking a handful of potential mates, who will be fought over by the other singles of your same gender (and maybe a couple of the opposite...). So the odds are against finding the partner of your life in your class. That's why I always say you have to be ready to look elsewhere.

    Not to mention a couple comprised of two medical people can be boring...all you talk about is medicine....ALL the time. Unless you enact a no-work-talk-at-home policy with your partner. Then...maybe.
     
  21. finaaqua

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    my boyfriend and i have been together for a very very long time (we're both nontrad and did premed several years after college-- and we started dating like the second month of freshman year of college) but we got different interviews and so now i'm holding out for cincy to take him b/c then we'll only be a few hours driving distance apart.
    apply as widely as you can- we applied to over 30 schools- but we did not get one single interview at the same school-- not even the same frigging states. we had similar mcat- his gpa was waaaaaaay better than mine, but i guess part of what makes our relationship work is our differences- and so different schools are attracted to different "types" of candidates.
    best of luck to you, i hope the process works out better for you guys than it has for us.
     
  22. MossPoh

    MossPoh Textures intrigue me

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    That is what nurses, xray techs, or other hospital staff are for. By the time you're in 3rd year that hot nurse that was engaged at 18 has gotten her divorce and is wide open.
     
  23. DrBubbles

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    I feel for all of you who will be attending separate med schools as your SO--it lets you focus on school work, but I can understand why it wouldn't be anyone's first choice.

    For the OP, my boyfriend and I met in December of our med school application year. We got interviews at two of the same school, and he got another interview in the same city as one of mine. We were both living out of state, but applying to the same in-state school, and we both got in! So we're just wrapping up first year, and our relationship keeps getting stronger.

    Some things to consider:
    If we didn't end up in the same city, I don't think our relationship was strong enough when we started school a year ago to be long distance for four years. Also, we tend to stress at different times with respect to exams, so we can support each other most of the time. Additionally, there are now SEVEN interclass couples in a class of 120--that means 12% of my class is dating someone in the class, while many others have SO's outside, and a few have them in other classes or programs.

    So, it can certainly work out, just figure out if this is someone you want to commit to long-term. Otherwise, spending four years with someone you've previously been intimate with might be a bit uncomfortable.

    Best of luck to everyone!
     
  24. engineeredout

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    Long distance relationships = bad idea.

    Choosing what school you go to based on somebody else = another bad idea.
     
  25. Tyc00nman

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    Define significant other. Is that like sig figs in intro-chem?

    In my humble opinion, relationships should NOT be priority in med-school. Plus, you can't force things to happen. I can't imagine someone going into med-school with expectations of finding that special someone and then getting there only to find out their sig fig doesnt exist. At the same time, im probably the last person that should be giving advice on quality relationships. The longest i ever dated a girl was 3.5 months...i forget her name...
     
  26. Law2Doc

    Law2Doc 5K+ Member
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    Yeah, this always cracks me up that people say this. If you had no game in college, you won't do any better in med school. You will have less free time in med school. A larger percentage of the opposite sex will be taken. Or perhaps will be untaken for a reason. And those in med school will be the least impressed by the fact that you are going to be a doctor, because they are going to be one too, so you won't have much of a rap. And the gossip mill works overtime in med school, and breakups are frequent and never go well, so you are better off avoiding the interclass drama. Best to never put off stuff like this until med school, and when you get to med school, best to look outside of your school for potential dates.
     
  27. paradocs we are

    paradocs we are In love with you

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    :lol:

    And you jerk! My name is Bar-bar-a!
     
  28. Textuality

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    I like how people say "Med school is not the time, career first right now..", but if med school isn't the time, then when? Residency? You'll be even busier! After you're an attending in the field of your choosing? You'll be around 30, and just starting to look for a serious relationship, so maybe if you're lucky, you'll be married (if that's something you want) by 33? Assuming you have some misses, and then date awhile before popping the question. And for a girl, by the time you're 33, a lot of your other girl friends will be married and probably even have kids.

    Anyways, it happens when it happens, stuff like this is hard to plan out, heh. I never thought I'd be married at 22, but when it's right, it's right. :)
     
  29. paradocs we are

    paradocs we are In love with you

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    I agree. I am currently single and I know it will be harder to find someone in med school (because of lack of time, etc) and definitely even harder during residency. However, like you said, you can't plan this stuff out. Someone earlier posted that you need to go out and meet people outside of med school. I think that is key.
     
  30. dArroway

    dArroway Gettin' my hood on

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    If I win the lottery and the girl beside me smiles should I buy her a ring??
     
  31. genswim24

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    Sorry to revamp an old thread, but I thought it would be better than starting a new one.

    Does anyone know of a good way to go about talking to schools about your significant other. My very long term significant other and I are both non-trads currently applying. We have interviews at different schools and there are some acceptances involved. Unfortunately, none of these are at the same location to date.

    We would like to talk to those schools and see if there is anything we can do to push the other one over the edge at one of these schools to the interview category? Is this possible or would we just be wasting our time. Thanks
     
  32. MsKrispyKreme

    MsKrispyKreme The "Hot" sign is on...

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    ^To my knowledge, if you aren't married then med schools really don't give a flip.
     
  33. xcrunner01

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    Sorry if this is a stupid question, but I'm new to SDN, and I'm confused as to what a "ban" is and what causes members to be "banned". Could someone explain? Thanks!
     
  34. CuyahogaMD2B

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    I am glad that it is not likely that my boyfriend and I will be in the same city next year. Looking forward to those long weekends will be a good reason to keep up and study hard.
     
  35. Rabbit36

    Rabbit36 Lagomorphadelic

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    I may be really cynical, but I tend to doubt the ability of people to transition successfully like that. I never really understood that whole always being with one's high school sweetheart sort of thing. In one's mid 20s, I think people just change way too quickly in personality and in what they want to be tied down like that. Is it really serious (marriage talk) or a little more casual? If you are dedicated to each other then no problem. If anything, it's better because you both understand what you're going through. The biggest problem of relationships during med school is that no one except another med student or doctor can really understand, and therefore the other person feels neglected and frustrated.
     
  36. kac714

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    a piece of advice given to me by a family friend who is a physician: don't expect to get married or stay together with a sig other in med school becasue it changes who you are and your outlook. something to think about, esp if its a newer relationship.
     
  37. Penguick

    Penguick Junior Member

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    My significant other and I have been long distance for a year now, with a major part of it with me across seas. We are still going strongly and I know it's stupid, but I would be willing to take a year off if we didn't end up in the same city or location.
     
  38. Law2Doc

    Law2Doc 5K+ Member
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    Agreed. If we aren't talking marriage, civil union or at least an engagement, you absolutely don't want to bring it up to a med school because they won't care. An extremely high percentage of the non-formalized relationships will break up during in med school. It is amazingly common for breakups to occur and so schools don't put any weight in any relationship where you haven't taken it to the formalized level. If anything, they may see an advantage at avoiding the drama and distractions of putting such a couple together in the same class. If you are married, then sure, a med school might try to help you out and not break up a family. But if you simply have been dating for a while, but nobody put a ring on anyone's finger, then that's something you keep private and don't bother the schools with it.
     
  39. MilkmanAl

    MilkmanAl Al the Ass Mod
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    L2D speaks the truth. 2 engagements have already split up in my class, and at least a few long-term relationships have ended. Med school is an extremely toxic environment for relationships.
     
  40. ButImLETired

    ButImLETired Prodigal member
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    Sigh...so let me get this straight. I'm going to work all day every day, incurring unbelievable amounts of debt, getting more and more unhealthy by the minute, in order to help people who'll keep eating cheeseburgers and smoking and who'll probably sue me eventually, ALL while not getting any?


    Woohoo med school!
     
  41. kac714

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    lol sounds about right... remind me why we're doing this?
     
  42. silverlining1

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    I'm attending medical school an hour-ish away from my boyfriend, and I think the arrangement is great. While I do miss him, I like that on the weekends (and even weekdays sometimes) we can "get away" and relax together - even though we are studying a lot of the same material and going through the same kind of experiences, it feels wonderful to escape for a bit with him. We've only been together since this summer so it's probably for the best that we're not at the same school; the great thing is that we've been able to grow closer despite the distance. There are several couples within the class, some that have been together for a month and others that have been together for over 4 years. I'm not sure how their experience has been so far, but I can vouch that being near your SO (but not with them every second) can be great.
     
  43. MilkmanAl

    MilkmanAl Al the Ass Mod
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    Well, I dunno about that. Everyone else will be just as sexually frustrated and time-pressed as you, so "Let's have sex" is a perfectly acceptable and efficient pickup line that gets at the heart of the issue without wasting precious study opportunities. Friends with benefits will reign supreme.
     
  44. njbmd

    njbmd Guest
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    This doesn't have to be the case. You can always date your "Hannah and her five sisters" during those long dry spells. Self love is the best love according to a former Surgeon General. It will keep you tuned up for when the real thing comes along. :D
     
  45. pianola

    pianola MS2

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    ^The. Most. Depressing. Post. I. Have. Ever. Read. On. SDN.

    From an ADCOM no less.
     
  46. MilkmanAl

    MilkmanAl Al the Ass Mod
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    Wow, that was effing hilarious! :lol:
     
  47. ButImLETired

    ButImLETired Prodigal member
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    Sigh...this is going to be a long, long 4 years.
     
  48. MilkmanAl

    MilkmanAl Al the Ass Mod
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    Say hey to Hannah for me. :)
     
  49. pianola

    pianola MS2

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    :nono: Hannah says "hey" back.
     
  50. MilkmanAl

    MilkmanAl Al the Ass Mod
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    I knew that smily was here for a reason!
     
  51. ButImLETired

    ButImLETired Prodigal member
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    LET cries for the, uhm, "social" life that could have been...if only she'd picked another career...+pity+
     
  52. pianola

    pianola MS2

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    :horns:...and so do her sisters.
     

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