Satanic Bible quotes for pre-meds

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hilikus

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Jesus sucks!


Hehe, just kidding...Somebody had to do it right?

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This has been suggested by me and sacrament in jest, but I didn't think that someone was actually going to do it. It does cross the line a bit, but ...

It also makes an excellent point.

It will be interesting to see the future of this thread. Either way, you are brave.

CCW
 
Dammit, now that I actually read (skim) the thread I see that you did suggest that first. And here I thought I was being original.
 
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How about:

Things ol' Unlce Charlie use to tell me for good luck.........

...........for pre-meds
 
Couldn't resist looking it up and posting one

"A complete knowledge and awareness of this factor [The Balance factor concerning the casting of magic] is an ability few witches and warlocks ever attain?Have you been the victim of a misdirected, over-blown ego which has caused you to want something or someone when the chances are virtually non-existent? Are you a talentless, tone-deaf individual who is attempting, through magic, to receive great acclaim for your unmusical voice? Are you a plain, glamorless witch with oversized feet, nose, and ego, combined with an advanced case of acne, who is casting love spells to catch a handsome young movie star? Are you a gross, lumpy, lewd-mouthed, snaggle-toothed loafer who is desirous of a luscious young stripper? If so, you'd better learn to use the balance factor, or else expect to fail consistently!" [The Satanic Bible, written by Anton Szander LaVey, published by Yankee Rose, Page 127.]
 
The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth:

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.

3. When in another?s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.

4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.

5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.

6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.

8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.

9. Do not harm little children.

10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.

11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.



From by Anton Szandor LaVey ?1967
http://www.churchofsatan.com/home.html
 
These are words of encouragement if I ever heard em.

CCW
 
Originally posted by Cooper_Wriston
This has been suggested by me and sacrament in jest, but I didn't think that someone was actually going to do it. It does cross the line a bit, but ...

It also makes an excellent point.

It will be interesting to see the future of this thread. Either way, you are brave.

CCW

i did it with my tongue firmaly planted in my cheek
 
If prominent leaders of the Christian faith are rejecting the past interpretation of God, how then can their followers be expected to adhere to previous religious tradition?
With all the debate about whether or not God is dead, if he isn't he better have Medicare! (Satanic Bible LaVey, Anton p.43)

The chief duty of every new age is to upraise new men to determine its liberties, to lead it towards material successes--to rend the rusty padlocks and chains of dead custom that always prevent healthy expansion. Theories and ideas that may have meant life and hope and freedom for our ancestors may now mean destruction, slavery, and dishonor to us! (p. 31)

Popular lies have ever been the most potent enemies of personal liberty. There is only one way to deal with them: cut them out, to the very core, just as cancers. (p. 32)

Life is the great indulgence--death, the great abstinence. Therefore, make the most of life--HERE AND NOW! (p. 33)

A Satanist knows there is nothing wrong with being greedy, as it only means that he wants more than he already has. Envy means to look with favor upon the possessions of others, and to be desirous of obtaining similar things for oneself. Envy and greed are the motivating forces of ambition--and without ambition, very little of importance would be accomplished. Gluttony is simply eating more than you need to keep yourself alive. When you have overeaten to the point of obesity, another sin--pride--will motivate you to regain an appearance that will renew your self-respect. Anyone who buys an article of clothing for a purpose other than covering his body and protecting it from the elements is guilty of pride. [...] Being reluctant to get out of bed in the morning is to be guilty of sloth, and if you lie in bed long enough you may find yourself committing another sin--lust. To have the faintest stirring of sexual desire is to be guilty of lust. In order to ensure propagation of humanity, nature made lust the second most powerful instinct, the first being self-preservation. Recognizing this, the Christian church made fornication the "Original Sin." In this way, they made sure no one would escape sin. Your very state of being is a result of sin--the Original sin! The strongest instinct in every living thing is self-preservation, which brings us to the last of the seven deadly sins--anger. Is it not our instinct for self-preservation that is aroused when someone harms us, when we become angry enough to protect ourselves from further attack?

Since man's natural instincts lead him to sin, all men are sinners; and all sinners go to hell. If everyone goes to hell, then you will meet all your friends there. (pp. 46-47)

I wrote a paper on the Satanic Bible in H.S. :laugh: You gotta love LaVey--he tries to be shocking with all the satanic terminology and pseudo-magic rituals, but all he's really doing is preaching hedonism and questioning traditional religious morality.
 
man, those are some good quotes! seriously, until a couple of weeks ago, i had no idea that true satanists didn't even worship a deity (satan, lucifer, whatever). what else didn't i learn in (catholic) school!!!!:laugh:

its funny, because now when i read stuff that LaVey wrote, i usually see where he's going with it, and-gasp-every once in a while i agree, but his delerious insistance of the power of "magic" is just too comical for words.

by the way, this thread....hilarious. thanks!
 
slowly backing away while quietly invoking the name of our Savior.....
 
Originally posted by Mistress S
If prominent leaders of the Christian faith are rejecting the past interpretation of God, how then can their followers be expected to adhere to previous religious tradition?
With all the debate about whether or not God is dead, if he isn't he better have Medicare! (Satanic Bible LaVey, Anton p.43)

The chief duty of every new age is to upraise new men to determine its liberties, to lead it towards material successes--to rend the rusty padlocks and chains of dead custom that always prevent healthy expansion. Theories and ideas that may have meant life and hope and freedom for our ancestors may now mean destruction, slavery, and dishonor to us! (p. 31)

Popular lies have ever been the most potent enemies of personal liberty. There is only one way to deal with them: cut them out, to the very core, just as cancers. (p. 32)

Life is the great indulgence--death, the great abstinence. Therefore, make the most of life--HERE AND NOW! (p. 33)

A Satanist knows there is nothing wrong with being greedy, as it only means that he wants more than he already has. Envy means to look with favor upon the possessions of others, and to be desirous of obtaining similar things for oneself. Envy and greed are the motivating forces of ambition--and without ambition, very little of importance would be accomplished. Gluttony is simply eating more than you need to keep yourself alive. When you have overeaten to the point of obesity, another sin--pride--will motivate you to regain an appearance that will renew your self-respect. Anyone who buys an article of clothing for a purpose other than covering his body and protecting it from the elements is guilty of pride. [...] Being reluctant to get out of bed in the morning is to be guilty of sloth, and if you lie in bed long enough you may find yourself committing another sin--lust. To have the faintest stirring of sexual desire is to be guilty of lust. In order to ensure propagation of humanity, nature made lust the second most powerful instinct, the first being self-preservation. Recognizing this, the Christian church made fornication the "Original Sin." In this way, they made sure no one would escape sin. Your very state of being is a result of sin--the Original sin! The strongest instinct in every living thing is self-preservation, which brings us to the last of the seven deadly sins--anger. Is it not our instinct for self-preservation that is aroused when someone harms us, when we become angry enough to protect ourselves from further attack?

Since man's natural instincts lead him to sin, all men are sinners; and all sinners go to hell. If everyone goes to hell, then you will meet all your friends there. (pp. 46-47)

I wrote a paper on the Satanic Bible in H.S. :laugh: You gotta love LaVey--he tries to be shocking with all the satanic terminology and pseudo-magic rituals, but all he's really doing is preaching hedonism and questioning traditional religious morality.

:love: i like mistress s!
 
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Originally posted by ForensicPath
The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth:

1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.

To bad no one asked specifically for your opinion! ;) :laugh:

You just broke rule number one... :laugh:
 
Originally posted by MDTom
To bad no one asked specifically for your opinion! ;) :laugh:

You just broke rule number one... :laugh:

Well let me invoke my favorite rule:

"11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him."

If you do not stop bothering me, consider yourself destroyed. :laugh:
 
Originally posted by ForensicPath
Well let me invoke my favorite rule:

"11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him."

If you do not stop bothering me, consider yourself destroyed. :laugh:

:laugh: LOL ... nothing like a friday to put the whole week in perspective... good come back FP... :laugh:
 
Originally posted by LordoftheFries
slowly backing away while quietly invoking the name of our Savior.....

I bet jesus had a sense of humor, too bad you don't.
 
All this talk about a god.. And there isn't one. What a foolish waste of time.
 
ah yes, the equal and opposite thread. bound to show up sometime.
 
this is funny though....
 
This is the finest thread to be have been started in decades.

CCW
 
What's that sound? Sort of like a big crane. Maybe the one that's going to pick this up and drop in the Everyone forum?
But I hear a big flushing sound over there. Hmm. Oh yes, that's the "This thread violates TOS in the Everyone forum" sound.
 
Let's keep this thread going because we all love Satan:

The Nine Satanic Statements

1. Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence!

2. Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams!

3. Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit!

4. Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates!

5. Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek!

6. Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires!

7. Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his ?divine spiritual and intellectual development,? has become the most vicious animal of all!

8. Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification!

9. Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years!


from The Satanic Bible, ?1969

by Anton Szandor LaVey
 
Originally posted by oudoc08
What's that sound? Sort of like a big crane. Maybe the one that's going to pick this up and drop in the Everyone forum?
But I hear a big flushing sound over there. Hmm. Oh yes, that's the "This thread violates TOS in the Everyone forum" sound.

Actually, this thread was is completely "legal" and is a direct response to the Biblical quotes thread that is up right now. A few people were interested to see whether the "freedom of speech" invokved for the Biblical quotes would also apply to this. Really, the threads are exactly equal, albeit Satanic Bible quotes aren't as mainstream ;)
 
Let's keep this thread going because we all love Satan
best SDN quote of all time. congrats, ForensicPath!
 
This thread is slowly dying. I'm thinking it should be made a sticky. Let's keep this thread alive (EVIL spelled backwards is LIVE).

"Religions are easy to invent. Most traditional religions have little or nothing to do with reality, are dependent on obfuscation, interpretation, guilt, and unreasoning faith - some more than others. Since Satanism is essentially a religion of the self, it holds that the individual and his personal needs comes first. If that means playing with trains or spike-heeled shoes or singing in the bathtub, those are its sacraments and devotions. Taking inventory of old comic books is counting beads on a rosary, each book being a station of the cross." ~Anton LaVey


The last Christian died on the cross. ~Friedrich Nietzsche
 
The inspiration i've found in this thread is exactly why i want to be a doctor! In fact, i dont really see how a non-satanist could possibly be a good doctor.
 
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