Second Look Weekend - Bring parents? Boyfriend?

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.

+ve

Keep Ur Head Up!
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2005
Messages
91
Reaction score
0

Members don't see this ad.
Hi,
My parents want to go with me for a second look weekend to see where I'll be spending the next four years of my life. They've never stepped foot in a medical school before so I guess it will be interesting for them. However, I don't know if this is common practice among pre-meds. I wouldn't want to be the only one with parents tagging along, and also not interact much with potential classmates. My boyfriend would like to come too but only if my parents aren't coming because they don't get along. For those of you planning on attending second look weekends, are you taking anyone with you? Please share your opinions. Thanks
 

armybound

urologist.
Moderator Emeritus
15+ Year Member
Joined
Jan 1, 2007
Messages
4,826
Reaction score
492
from what I've heard it's pretty common. If nothing else you can just show them the campus after the festivities.

You can bet I'll have my girlfriend with me on a second look day, if I get one.
 

soeagerun2or

Membership Revoked
Removed
10+ Year Member
Joined
Sep 27, 2006
Messages
566
Reaction score
3
No and no.. This isn't college orientation. They can come visit for the white coat ceremony or commencement.
 

Ersatzious

Mayo MSTP MS1
10+ Year Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2006
Messages
84
Reaction score
0
I wouldn't want to be the only one with parents tagging along, and also not interact much with potential classmates. My boyfriend would like to come too but only if my parents aren't coming because they don't get along. For those of you planning on attending second look weekends, are you taking anyone with you? Please share your opinions. Thanks

Significant others are pretty common, parents, not so much. Neither can/should attend any of the second-look activities. If your boyfriend is moving with you, bringing him along to explore the area together in the downtime is reasonable. However, as I assume your parents will attend your coating ceremony in August, it is a little silly to drag them along to an applicant-centered day/weekend.
 

Dookter

Senior Member
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Joined
May 21, 2005
Messages
1,042
Reaction score
3
My girlfriend came with me. I had already bought an engagement ring, although she had no idea, so we were almost engaged anyway. [Now we're engaged]. Plus, she was moving with me wherever I went. I felt it was critical for her to be there. But you should always ask the school first. If you're just dating someone and want to bring them along for fun, don't do it. If they have a reason to be there, just ask the school. Usually it will be OK if you explain the reasoning.
 

foofish

Full Member
10+ Year Member
7+ Year Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2006
Messages
1,204
Reaction score
4
Significant others are pretty common, parents, not so much. Neither can/should attend any of the second-look activities. If your boyfriend is moving with you, bringing him along to explore the area together in the downtime is reasonable. However, as I assume your parents will attend your coating ceremony in August, it is a little silly to drag them along to an applicant-centered day/weekend.

I think it varies by school, since some schools during the interview day specifically suggested that parents as well as SOs come to the second look, and that most people bring them. Other schools said nary a word. I think once you see the schedule you can tell if there are activities/events that are parent/SO friendly.
 

Ersatzious

Mayo MSTP MS1
10+ Year Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2006
Messages
84
Reaction score
0
I think once you see the schedule you can tell if there are activities/events that are parent/SO friendly.

Such as the very special seminar entitled, "Cut the damn cord!"
 

foofish

Full Member
10+ Year Member
7+ Year Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2006
Messages
1,204
Reaction score
4
:laugh: No joke. Are you going to bring your parents to the bar outting too?

Hey, I never said that *I* was ever bringing my parents to a second look, just that some schools do encourage people to do so if it will help with their decision.
 

HumbleMD

hmmmm...
10+ Year Member
7+ Year Member
Joined
Sep 22, 2006
Messages
2,574
Reaction score
30
Hey, I never said that *I* was ever bringing my parents to a second look, just that some schools do encourage people to do so if it will help with their decision.

Yeah, I guess there are the kids out there where mom and dad are footing the bill. When my parents gave me the hard cut-off is when I gave their opinion the hard cut-off...
 

Haemulon

Slippery When Wet
Moderator Emeritus
10+ Year Member
7+ Year Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2006
Messages
3,596
Reaction score
3
The second look is a whole different situation than interview day (where bringing Mommy and Daddy screams of attachment issues). I see nothing wrong with bringing parents or significant others to a second look weekend, depending on the expectations of the host school. You can always call them and ask, then you will know for sure. Heck, I am 30 with a family of my own and I still think it would be cool to bring my parents, if the format was suitable. In reality I will just bring my wife because she has a much greater vested interest in any decisions, but still ....

Bottom line: call the school and ask.
 

foofish

Full Member
10+ Year Member
7+ Year Member
Joined
Apr 23, 2006
Messages
1,204
Reaction score
4
Yeah, I guess there are the kids out there where mom and dad are footing the bill. When my parents gave me the hard cut-off is when I gave their opinion the hard cut-off...

Or, if I had a fiance/husband that was going to have to pick up his life and move based on where I decided to go to school, I think it'd definitely be understandable to have him come along since it would impact his life too (if not to the actual info sessions, at least to the city).
 
4

45408

No and no.. This isn't college orientation. They can come visit for the white coat ceremony or commencement.
I can understand not bringing your parents, but why wouldn't you bring your SO? odds are good that they'll be coming with you.
 
Members don't see this ad :)

TamarMD

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Dec 23, 2006
Messages
243
Reaction score
0
I find nothing wrong with bringing your parents/SO IF you're moving to another state. I'm not talking you live in NY and your school is in NJ. I'm talking about you live in NY and are moving way out to Ohio. Then its ok to bring your parents so that they'd get a feel of where you're going to spend your next four years. But like most ppl said call the school and find out. You don't want to look like a dork with your family and SO and everyone else is alone.
 

WCGee

Super Awesome Person
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Joined
Aug 15, 2006
Messages
259
Reaction score
9
I'm from Illinois and will bring both my parents to Penn State's second look weekend. (PSU has a seperate thing planned for SOs/parents while the prospective students are out doing stuff)

My entire extended family and I reside in Illinois--if I matriculated without their at least having been to PA to make sure I'm not going to die or something out east, they would have a nervous breakdown. :D
 

Doc Martins

Senior Member
10+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2004
Messages
309
Reaction score
0
I wanted to bring my parents and fiancee, and never even thought there would be a problem. My mom is really interested in seeing where I could possibly spend the next four years since she's never been to that city before, so I think it's a great idea to bring her. I will, however, call the school to find out if it's OK first.
 

Haemulon

Slippery When Wet
Moderator Emeritus
10+ Year Member
7+ Year Member
Joined
Jun 1, 2006
Messages
3,596
Reaction score
3
I wanted to bring my parents and fiancee, and never even thought there would be a problem. My mom is really interested in seeing where I could possibly spend the next four years since she's never been to that city before, so I think it's a great idea to bring her. I will, however, call the school to find out if it's OK first.

:thumbup:
 

baylormed

On the Search
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Joined
Dec 4, 2005
Messages
4,286
Reaction score
53

If you really want them there, definitely call the school and ask if it is okay. If not so much, you can always bring them and show them the campus outside of the pre-planned events and activities.

I myself am looking forward to meeting my future classmates, and I would be afraid that having my parents/SO with me would interfere with the "socializing" process. I will just wait until White Coat ceremony when they have to help me move to bring them and show them around the campus and the city.
 

MSKalltheway

I got the magic stick
10+ Year Member
7+ Year Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2007
Messages
832
Reaction score
4
From my perspective, my parents didnt come with me to anything until my white coat ceremony. I'm assuming this second look ceremony is kind of like a "please make your decision to come here" kind of thing. If you have already made your decision, then I don't see a problem with bringing your parents or bf. If you still think you are not 100% sure yet, nobody but you should be involved in your decision making IMHO, unless you have a question or two. When I went through this, the only person that knew what would make me happy through this black hole that is med school is me.

At least thats how I did things in relation to my parents and gf. Granted, like others have already said, it would be better to bring your bf if you WILL get married within the next four years and he's moving there to live with you. But the decision is ultimately yours and you gotta do what's comfortable for you.
 

NY Musicologist

Career Changer
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Joined
Apr 1, 2005
Messages
279
Reaction score
1
If you're going to the second-look weekend because you anticipate having to make a really tough decision between 2+ places, consider which would help you most in making that choice: being by yourself so you can really focus, or having others with you so you can take their opinions/observations into account? If the latter, do you value your parents' opinion or your SO's more?
 

SoCuteMD

Full Member
15+ Year Member
Joined
Nov 28, 2005
Messages
8,630
Reaction score
726
People - ix-nay on the parents along for second looks. Seriously - it's time. Go find the scissors. If your parents are footing the bill you probably don't have much of a choice. Otherwise - leave them at home. They will see PLENTY when they drop you off for orientation OR at your white coat ceremony. Second look gives you a chance to meet your new classmates, and I personally would have been very skeptical of any classmate who brought along parents (right or wrong, that's the truth).

As for SOs - if they are moving or might move with you then I think it's GREAT to include them from day 1. Some of the SOs of my classmates have become honorary classmates because they have been around so much (and we LOVE them!). If your SO will be living elsewhere then leave them at home and use second look as an opportunity to get to know your new classmates - you will need their companionship!!
 

cgscribe

Member
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Joined
Jun 7, 2006
Messages
780
Reaction score
0
Yeah, I don't think it's necessary to bring the parents for that kind of decision regardless. I would only bring the significant other if you know they're coming with you.
 

TleilaxuMD

Membership Revoked
Removed
10+ Year Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
167
Reaction score
0
You cant leave grandma at home!:D
 

JohnMadden

Political Refugee
10+ Year Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2007
Messages
387
Reaction score
3
Unless you already have the ring (like one of the previous posts) leave all unmarried significant others at home.

If you're married, bring the wife and not the mistress (I actually heard of this happening once).
 

smq123

John William Waterhouse
Staff member
Administrator
Volunteer Staff
15+ Year Member
Joined
Jan 9, 2006
Messages
14,993
Reaction score
6,519
Hi,
My parents want to go with me for a second look weekend to see where I'll be spending the next four years of my life. They've never stepped foot in a medical school before so I guess it will be interesting for them. However, I don't know if this is common practice among pre-meds. I wouldn't want to be the only one with parents tagging along, and also not interact much with potential classmates. My boyfriend would like to come too but only if my parents aren't coming because they don't get along. For those of you planning on attending second look weekends, are you taking anyone with you? Please share your opinions. Thanks

Call the school. Some schools have activities that are for pre-med students only. At our school, they actually take tours of hospitals and walk by patient rooms. They probably wouldn't want non-future med students to participate.

Don't bring your parents. You'll look goofy, and they'll look even goofier, because they'll probably be the only people over 40 on the tour. Your boyfriend might not want to come either, considering that EVERYONE will be asking him "So, where else did you apply? What do you want to specialize in?" and he'll have to answer "I'm not a pre-med student" at least 28 times during the day.
 

bretticus

IR/NeuroIR attending
15+ Year Member
Joined
Jul 13, 2006
Messages
751
Reaction score
2
Some of the SOs of my classmates have become honorary classmates because they have been around so much (and we LOVE them!).
I know I'm not the only one that read this and laughed. :smuggrin:
 

TleilaxuMD

Membership Revoked
Removed
10+ Year Member
Joined
Feb 18, 2007
Messages
167
Reaction score
0
Call the school. Some schools have activities that are for pre-med students only. At our school, they actually take tours of hospitals and walk by patient rooms. They probably wouldn't want non-future med students to participate.

Don't bring your parents. You'll look goofy, and they'll look even goofier, because they'll probably be the only people over 40 on the tour. Your boyfriend might not want to come either, considering that EVERYONE will be asking him "So, where else did you apply? What do you want to specialize in?" and he'll have to answer "I'm not a pre-med student" at least 28 times during the day.
ahahaha.:laugh:
 

Ersatzious

Mayo MSTP MS1
10+ Year Member
Joined
Oct 26, 2006
Messages
84
Reaction score
0
Don't bring your parents. You'll look goofy, and they'll look even goofier, because they'll probably be the only people over 40 on the tour. Your boyfriend might not want to come either, considering that EVERYONE will be asking him "So, where else did you apply? What do you want to specialize in?" and he'll have to answer "I'm not a pre-med student" at least 28 times during the day.

Plus, think back to your college visits. How were your parents then? Relaxed? Obnoxious? I can guarantee that their personalities have changed little in that 4+ year interim. Do you really want the stigma of being the guy/girl whose father dominated the entire Q&A session with questions like, "What are your match statistics in such and such?" and "What is the average salary of a graduate from this school?" Or sidling up to your deans/directors and attempting to broker a better financial package because, "My son/daughter has been accepted to X, Y, and Z. What incentives can you provide to counter those offers?"

Next thing you know, you will find your mother in a corner somewhere regaling peers and administration alike with embarrassing stories about her precious baby. So unless you want a future study partner or dean to know that you were destined for medicine because you used to run about clad only in toy stethoscope and smile, leave the folks at home.
 

trying

Member
7+ Year Member
15+ Year Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2003
Messages
285
Reaction score
0
Or sidling up to your deans/directors and attempting to broker a better financial package because, "My son/daughter has been accepted to X, Y, and Z. What incentives can you provide to counter those offers?"

hahaha for this reason alone im taking my parents to see the school before second look
 

+ve

Keep Ur Head Up!
10+ Year Member
5+ Year Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2005
Messages
91
Reaction score
0
Thanks for all your input-- I called the school and they said it's okay to bring parents although housing arrangement is made just for student with current med students. The second look weekend kicks off with a dinner on friday at 6pm which I think is best attended alone, and I guess tour of campus on saturday. I'll bring my parents, get a hotel room close to school, tour exterior of campus with them on friday and/or saturday afternoon after activities are over. I think this is probably best since I neither want to compromise my interaction with future classmates nor look immature or something. My boyfriend is a med student and is not moving with me so coming is really not a big deal. Thanks again.
 
Top