Secondary: single most rewarding experience. Too negative?

[Smerdyakov]

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That was one Hopkins' last year prompt. I wanted to write about the time when I used to believe that if I treated people nicely, they would at least be concerned about me.

There was a time when I would agree to almost everybody's favors regardless of my own's unwillingness. In this instance, I was at an acquaintance's place looking after their mother, for free. This lady was reputed to be very caring and considerate toward her friends and families. I was there just to make sure that there would not be accident in the house considering her age.

One morning, I suddenly developed an excruciating pain in the right side of my abdomen. For the record, I tolerated pains very well: broken bones, torn back muscle etc. But that one was unbearable. I was writhing on the floor hoping that it would go away like many times in the past. I had never been able to afford any medical treatment. The woman saw me then and asked me to help her check the stove. I did and returned to my assigned room waiting the pain to go away, sweating profusely. After talking to someone on the phone, the woman came to check on me and said "Tsk. You must have stayed up late last night. It's 11 AM already!"

After the 6th hour, the pain persisted. I did not want to die there and I did not want to pay for the EMS so I drove myself to the nearest ER. Before I left, the woman was nice enough to ask where I was going saying she would need me later.

I then realized that I meant nothing to those people I tried so hard to accommodate. Now, I am very willing to tell them to **** off without any guilt. Since then, my life experience has improved greatly.

I can condense this into 900 characters. I just wonder if it is a good idea to write about this.

 

[bbbcccppp]

Definitely too negative. Rewarding implies feelgood. I am a little confused. Was this an elderly lady with dementia?


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[Smerdyakov]

No, that woman was and still is very sharp. She liked to cook and talk on the phone. The problem is she could be really absorbed by the gossip and forget about the stove. I was there just to make sure that did not happen, again. The limit is 900 characters so I could not provide more contexts. When she learned that I went to the ER she simply said "Oh. So you went to the ER because of that."

It was rewarding to me because of the lesson. I am glad that I have learned it. Otherwise, I would still be begrudgingly catering to many people. It does feel good now.

 

[dinomite00]

I definitely believe that this would not be appropriate. You are going into a field where you have to deal with people of all sorts, including those like the person you are describing. by writing this, you are coming off as someone who would not be willing to help someone who rubs you the wrong way and you just don't have that luxury and it's something that will undoubtedly come up and something you will have to deal with. Think more along the lines of "I was tutoring a student twice a week for a semester and he/she went from failing their first exam to acing their final, etc etc" but that is just my opinion and the approach i would take

 

[Catalystik]

I appreciate that you feel you learned an important lesson about life from this incident, but telling this story is not going to reveal a facet of your personality that will enhance your application.

 

[Smerdyakov]

Thanks for your help. I will pick another topic.