Should I abandon my significant other while studying for the boards!

[bluehighlighter]

Hello all,
The boards are right around the corner for me and I'm ready to get started on some serious study! My only question is this... How do significant others fit into the set up? I see people on here saying they studying for up to 12 hours a day!!! I don't see how that kind of schedule can coexist with a relationship Any take on this? Experiences...

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[SOUNDMAN]

Hello all,
The boards are right around the corner for me and I'm ready to get started on some serious study! My only question is this... How do significant others fit into the set up? I see people on here saying they studying for up to 12 hours a day!!! I don't see how that kind of schedule can coexist with a relationship Any take on this? Experiences...

Married, 4 kids, it can be done.

 

[PrussianBlue1]

i mean, i think the question is, should I see my significant other while studying or retire from civilization Rocky Balboa style?

And this question comes from someone who wants to crush the board. Im willing to make sacrifices , so let me know ur honest opinion.

ps. Although sometimes I feel like 1 or 2 hr with my girl really help me relax and continue the journey towards the step...

 

[blossompp3]

I think it depends on how you study and on your relationship. I did the 12 hr/day thing, but would take Saturday evening off for a "date night". I can study at home as well as at the library, so many evenings my (incredibly patient and supportive ) boyfriend and I would curl up on the couch and he would read or something similar while I studied. Not exactly exciting, but seeing him most days actually made studying a little less miserable.

I'm sure if you're both willing to make adjustments, you'll be able to find a solution that works for you. Good luck!

 

[PenguinHead]

I talk to my SO on the phone during my breaks throughout the day. We spend about 1 hour during dinner together, including time that I just talk to her about our day while we (-she) cooks. I also try to come to bed at a decent hour.

It amounts to about 2 hours total per day (if that). I can afford that much.

 

[MattD]

I'm gonna buy the wife a nice present and disappear... LMAO

 

[bluehighlighter]

thanks for the replies...my bf is very understanding, supportive, blah, bleh, blah BUT I just feel like I'mma gonna be throwing him scraps of time during the upcoming weeks...I want the almighty awesome SDN type score! but you guys are right...maybe I can try and schedule some free time in Can't study always I guess...

 

[DOCTORSAIB]

Hello all,
The boards are right around the corner for me and I'm ready to get started on some serious study! My only question is this... How do significant others fit into the set up? I see people on here saying they studying for up to 12 hours a day!!! I don't see how that kind of schedule can coexist with a relationship Any take on this? Experiences...

Unless you're married (translation: you're stuck), dump your SO and devout every minute to Step 1. This is the most important exam of your life.

Listen, do you want to have someone to cuddle with or do you want a 260+ ?

Your call?

ps...12 hours/day is not enough.

(In all seriousness, you should never lose your "humanity" in medicine. Make time for the people that matter most -- family, friends, SO, etc).

 

[TerpMD]

Just my two cents...
Your SO (presumably) will be there after boards are over. You are going to become a 3rd year with no time then a resident with no time. You have to find a balance between school and the rest of life because there is always a reason not to spend time with him/her. I plan to study like crazy too- but I have to eat! Good communication always helps- talk to your SO and find something you both can live with. You'll be happier in the end that way. I think your SO is the best person to help you make this decision, not us SDNers.

 

[Blesbok]

I owe the fiance a nice seafood dinner after putting up with that crap for a month and a half.

 

[RussianJoo]

don't dump your SO. sex is a great stress reliever and you'll have lots of stress studying for the exam.

 

[NRAI2001]

don't dump your SO. sex is a great stress reliever and you'll have lots of stress studying for the exam.

Two SOs are even greater stress relief then.....unless if they find out about eachother, then we can use u in cadaver lab.

 

[Lamborghini1315]

Hello all,
The boards are right around the corner for me and I'm ready to get started on some serious study! My only question is this... How do significant others fit into the set up? I see people on here saying they studying for up to 12 hours a day!!! I don't see how that kind of schedule can coexist with a relationship Any take on this? Experiences...

You can't...its a sacrifice you ought to make. I cant even focus or get work done for exams in med school..there's no way i would even let a fly around me during boards. I am being honest with you..people can tell you all they want about how it can work but you are sure to get distracted from the most imp exam of your life. Look at the bright side its only a month..heck you have rest of the year to make up for it hehe good luck!

 

[hasha100]

If you are good at managing time and planning, you really shouldn't have to "abandon" your SO. It's hard to just forget about your SO for an extended period of time. Make a schedule and make sure to include relaxation time with your SO. Maybe pick certain days during the week where u meet up for lunch or dinner. It doesn't have to be for long periods of time. Also make sure that your SO understands how important this exam is in regards to your professional life. If your SO doesn't understand, you're going to have problems.

 

[haemoncodoc]

Hello all,
The boards are right around the corner for me and I'm ready to get started on some serious study! My only question is this... How do significant others fit into the set up? I see people on here saying they studying for up to 12 hours a day!!! I don't see how that kind of schedule can coexist with a relationship Any take on this? Experiences...

I tend to look at things this way...

Step 1 is important, but it is not the most important thing in life. We have a tough career and a lot is expected from us, but in actuality, each one of us can be replaced in the field. No one cares about you as much as your SO, wife, husband, kids, or family and they cannot be replaced. Spend time with them and do not shut them out. Also try your best not to take your stress out on them either.

50 years from now, do you really think you are going to care whether or not you got a 230 and not the 250 you were aiming for?

 

[predodoc]

4 hours 1-2 x a week will not make a significant dent in your score. Maybe 2 points tops. It might actually boost your score since you will be happier and will be able to study longer without burnout. Also, dont forget to exercise 3-5 times a week, it will do wonders for how you feel. and if you feel better you study better.

 

[bluehighlighter]

thanks for all your replies...They have made me feel a little better about the situation : )

 

[AK_MD2BE]

If it is your wife/fiancee...then she is the most important person in your life and can help you get through one of the most stressful times of your life. If he/she is just a boyfriend/girlfriend, explain the situation to him/her...if they can't deal with your studying...then they arent going to be understanding of you working 80 hours/week or being on call someday.

 

[Rogue_Leader]

Communication is key. A lot of the time, a lot of strife comes up because SO's who aren't in medicine don't have a clear idea of what is going to be expected of you and what your schedule is going to be like. You should have a solid and sincere conversation about how this exam can very significantly change the trajectory of your career, and one month of intensive studying is going to pay huge dividends down the line. You can explain to her that while it may appear that you're "blowing her off" for a month, this is good for both of you because if you're able to be competitive in any geographical location, then you can find a residency where ever she has a job. This may not be a bad time to go over all of your duties over the next few years, because there is going to be strife over one month of studying, intern year is going to be hell for the both of you. This isn't to say that you should blow her off, but you could explain to her that your time together is going to be more structured and formal than she may be used to (IE, Saturday night date night).

 

[laxman310]

I didn't read many of the above comments but I'll give my 2 cents.

A lot of people who end up in this profession (but not everyone) are very good at focusing on ONE thing at a time. If you are one of those people, it would benefit you to communicate this to your significant other and maybe just do that.

You have to continue to live, and maintain a life, and balance, despite the fact that you have a huge responsibility. If the companionship of someone you care for helps you maintain sanity, then by all means try to keep this aspect in your life.

Personally, I study around 10 hours a day, and I manage to keep dating several girls during this time. They know I'm studying, and I only seem them every 7-10 days or so. They understand, aren't needy, and don't put any pressure on me for more time. I like the companionship of women, and it keeps me sane and feeling like I still have a life despite the fact that I'm a bookworm for most of the day.