Should I have a talk with my sr. technician about my short comings?

[windspirit]

Short a sweet, I hate my job. I hate crying before every shift and stressing out about my job a day or even DAYS before going in! I hate that I am annoying and ask too many questions. I hate the feeling of worrying that I might get fired for sucking so bad. I hate coming in every day and having my coworkers looking at me as if I am a burden. I mean, it's true, but I am also very shy so it makes me just want to cry. I hate how my ph. manager is hinting at terminating me to my face. I hate how I don't learn stuff because it's all so confusing to taught to me too fast. I hate how my managers talk down to me or just plain ignore me.
I hate my job.
I do want to get better. I DO want to love going to work because who wants to go to a job they hate for years on end? I mean, I started in August, but I have my own bills to pay so I can't just quit. I do want to so bad. I have been depressed for a long time. I have been missing the times when I didn't have to go to work, not because I'm lazy, but because my job really makes me uncomfortable to even think about. I love working and keeping busy. I just hate how it's the pharmacy. I wish I was at a pharmacy with no customers, regular work work work. No retail. I hate retail.
Should I reach out to my senior technician? She's the only one who knew me since I was a student intern and she is very professional and friendly. But I also have a feeling that talking about my problem to ANYONE would be a very bad thing because I know you can't do that at a job. You can't tell the people who hired you that you don't think you're fit for the job. You can't tell them that you suck in any way because you told them when you were hired that you could handle it all. That you would be a fast learner and would be an asset to the company. Would anyone one of you talk to your senior tech/manager about 'personal problems'?
I even feel like maybe I should talk to one of the front store managers. I am not very good friend with, but I feel the most comfortable with one of those managers, even more so than the pharmacy staff. But I would hate to say anything that would embarass me.
So. Should I stick this out and hope and try to get better, or should I talk to someone about this?? I would talk about how I feel like I am not "Reaching my potential".
What scares me even more is that the managers have private meeting with each pharmacy technician. They even had a private meeting with me as an intern, which they basically told me I was doing a "good job" but they only said that because I was JUST an intern. Didn't do much. I am so afraid and dread the day when they ask for a private meeting with me and tell me all my mistakes and I have to explain why I suck and why I am going to "get better".
Help me. Please.

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[CommyO]

Honestly, why're you taking it so seriously? Man up or woman up and just take the negative remarks and see where you can improve. Or.. work somewhere else or another line of work maybe where you don't have to deal with people as much

 

[PromisedNeverland]

I'm confused... are you an INTERN (pharmacy school student) ?? or a pharmacy TECHNICIAN ??

 

[pharmtechcat]

Nobody should ever make you feel like you can't ask questions - that's a byproduct of a poor company culture, not a reflection of your talent.

It's also perfectly acceptable to have a frank discussion, stating honestly that you don't feel you're a good fit for this environment if there's not enough time for on the job teaching. Period. Understanding how tough those convos can be when your financial livelihood is at stake, if your mental and emotion stress is that bad it might be better to bite the bullet. You'll find you'll grow professionally as well as personally by having that discussion. You'll probably be shaking the entire time, but may be surprised at the response you get.

If an employee feels that they cannot learn properly, then that might indicate an issue w the on boarding process in general - did they know how new you were at interview? Did you express that you'd be really interested in asking questions? Think about that and maybe something was missed - either way, you'll learn better for your next job.

As for embarrassment, who cares. Easier said than done, I know - but really. Think of it as a learning experience. It'll only help improve workflow and communication. Worst case, nothing changes but then you won't be kept up at night wondering and feel stronger for standing up for yourself.

But never, ever go above your direct manager's head! That will spell catastrophe and awkwardness .

 

[futurepharmacist2016]

Honestly, I worked at a high volume store where I was very slow with no one to help me. I was surprised my manager offered to transfer me to another CVS when I moved because I felt like I was a burden. Are you new to retail? Are you in pharmacy school or an aspiring pharmacist? I ask because with time you'll get used to retail. I agree, it's stressful, but if you're in pharmacy school, think of it as a way to work harder to not be in retail. If your environment is harsh, I would transfer to another pharmacy like a low volume store or a different company. Don't take it too hard, retail takes time!!!

 

[DiscoverID]

So are you a pharmacist or an intern? If you are an intern then just try to cheer up. I'm working with another intern and she is just making life miserable for everyone because she is slow but lazy. As long as you are there to learn and willing to take criticisms then you are fine.
You know that you are slow, then push yourself, do everything and anything. Don't just stay in one spot. Don't feel bad when you have a lot of questions because in retails, if you don't ask then you won't learn anything. Also, don't expect people to stand next to you and show you everything. If someone show you something once or twice, make sure to write it down and learn/practice on your own.

If you are a pharmacist, try to be friendly with your techs and learn from them because if your techs are not there for you then you are, IMO, nothing.