should i sacrifice a few important things in my life?

[UCLApremed]

DELETED IN MEMORY OF A SIGNIFICANT

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[A. Caveman]

it sounds like a tough situation

but is it really? this is your life she's interfering with. this is your happiness she's interfering with also? so what could be keeping you together? if you're no longer happy with her, then break it off.

i'm sure you loved her at some point, but if you feel like crap around her, it's because you don't love her anymore. gluck

 

[Scooby Doo]

Just keep her mouth full so she can't talk!

That's what scooby does....if a woman starts saying something he doesn't want to hear

<img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Wowie]" title="" src="graemlins/wowie.gif" />

 

[reesie0726]

Scooby, you are a trip. UCLA, you sound unhappy with your relationship. It sounds like you have been unhappy for awhile. Sometimes people grow apart. If you have to ask us if you should break up with her, then I think you already have your answer. I understand. I had an ex who told me I was not smart enough to get into med school because I did not perform well undergrad. I should look his a** up now so he could se me now. Sorry for venting. But UCLA you gotta take care of yourself and you can not let somebody bring you down and make you unhappy. Talk to her first but if nothing resolves then......

 

[colorado_1]

well ucla my advice would be . . . prob. not a good idea to take advice from a board like this that cannot possibly know the particulars of your situation. ok, if it were me, i'd leave someone who didn't believe in me. sure, that sounds great. but so many other things go into a decision like that. it's pretty easy for me to say, "sure you pointed out some bad things about your partner." it's just hard for me to jump to the conclusion "therefore, you have a bad relationship." it would make me a pretty bad scientist of me if i would do that. . .

 

[katiep]

Maybe you just need some time away from each other to figure things out...

 

[racergirl]

UCLA, I've had some of the same problems with my boyfriend. Sit your GF down and tell her what you've told us. That you feel great at other times, but when you're with her, her behavior makes you fell like crap. Tell her that if she's not into you becoming a doctor, then she needs to leave NOW.

But if you still love her, make that clear too. But she has to be willing to let you grow. If not, she has to let you go.

 

[Blue Tooth]

Agreed with most of the posts. Sit her down like racergirl said and talk to here. It might be in your best interest to take a break for a while. The fact that you've been thinking about it tends to suggest that subconsciously you want to even though you say the opposite. And if things do sour, don't worry. One of my housemates was nice (TIC) enough to dump her boyfriend and a very good friend of mine a week before last April's MCAT. But ultimately, when that happened his mind was cleared of all the problems they'd been having and he went out and took it too the exam. Best of luck with whatever you decide though

 

[Dr. Dad]

My advice might be a little different. Unless you plan on marrying the girl or are in a very serious relationship....ditch the broad/ kick her to the curb/ send her packing/ give her a one way ticket to ditchville/ drop her like a bad habit.

My brother is the same way as her in that he doesn't understand med school or anything premed and he doesn't support it. His girlfriend was valedictorian (or however you spell it, no I was not one ) in high school and had hopes of becoming a doctor until she hooked up with him last summer. Last semester her GPA dropped from the high 3's to the high 2's. This semester seems to be head in a similar direction. I notice that she is always hanging out with him (her school is an hour away) and misses class at least once a week. I could list a lot more but I think you get the picture.

A good friend of mine told me a long time ago to get a career first, and then a girlfriend. Of course I didn't listen and now I am 26 trying to get back on track (and my ex is no where to be seen).

Don't be like me or my brothers girlfriend. BECOME A DOCTOR FIRST, then worry about girlfriends/boyfriends. Of course if you are lucky and have an all supportive gf/bf then everything is good. Just don't lose sight....doctor first, doctor first, doctor first!!!

 

[gbey]

UCLApremed:
I know there are many things to be considered here. But from what yiu described, do not be around people (especially lovers)that makes you feel "crap". I passed through this myself, I was happy when I was with others. I was the "worst person" when I was with her. I did not listen to my own heart. I even married her. We have not so good time together now 3 years in our marriage. But now I am stuck because we have a 9 months old beautiful little girl. And I don't intend to divorce for my baby's sake. What I mean is we will try to work it out. I believe in commitment. I hate divorce. I don't mean it will never happen if the situation grows to be like hell.

But back to your situation: It is nice to have problems and to learn to overcome them during courtship. But through it all there has to be a love, a bond that pulls you together. If there is true love, your gf will think you can do any thing.... At least my wife supports me in my aspiration to become a doctor. You are not married, if you are not happy about her now, I don't think you will be happy after you are married with her.... I hope you understand me.
If you break up now, it will cause a temporary hurt, but if you keep going like this and marry her, it will cause a much greater hurt, for both of you.
Good luck.

 

[Amy B]

I think you have answered your own question. Read through your own post. Your own words hold your answer.

 

[bebe2]

I second that Amy Beth!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[DAL]

UCLA-

Sorry for your struggles bud. I know from experience that you have to surround yourself with supportive people and those who respect your actions and right to choose them for yourself. I agree with Racergirl in that you should tell her how you feel. If you love her and feel it's worth fighting for, then tell her and judge her by her response to your words and emotions. If you feel it's not worth the effort, then move on and concentrate on getting yourself straight before you worry about others. You'll figure it out and do the right thing for yourself, good luck.

 

[matthew0126]

wow, great advice everyone. props to the SDN community!

ucla-: dump her butt

•••quote:•••Originally posted by DAL:
•UCLA-

Sorry for your struggles bud. I know from experience that you have to surround yourself with supportive people and those who respect your actions and right to choose them for yourself. I agree with Racergirl in that you should tell her how you feel. If you love her and feel it's worth fighting for, then tell her and judge her by her response to your words and emotions. If you feel it's not worth the effort, then move on and concentrate on getting yourself straight before you worry about others. You'll figure it out and do the right thing for yourself, good luck.•••••