Should I stay or should I go now? (Srsly)

[ekno123]

Okay, here is my dilemma:

I'm a second year med student at my state school that has multiple locations. Let's call one location Hometown and the other Big City.

One location is in my hometown, where my parents, grandparents, siblings etc. live. I thought I didn't want to go to med school there because it isn't the most exciting place (and at 18, I couldn't wait to book it into a more interesting place). So I opted to go to a different location for med school- it's in a much bigger city, with more stuff to do, and I figured this would be more likely to be where I'd want to live after medical school. But I'm just not liking it (the city, not the medical school) as much as I thought I would. I love big cities (and as non-traditional student, have lived in some great ones over the last decade), but this one ended up just being less charming and more grimy and dangerous than I realized (and I've tried a few different neighborhoods). I've realized that I for sure do not want to live in this big city for long. More and more, I am thinking about putting down roots in my hometown (It's really nice to get to live near my family, and it's not that small, but its safe, beautiful, better cost of living). Like I said, I'm a bit older and am starting to feel somewhat ready to settle down. (I'm single so no significant other to think about yet.)

So my question is: Should I transfer back to my hometown medical school for third year (since it's the same state system, it actually is pretty doable to transfer) or wait until residency to try to move back? Some things that I'm thinking are:

• Would it be better to stay in this big city, where I already know some fellow students and staff? Would that make rotations better/easier? Or would it be better to move, and make some friends/collegues in my hometown during 3rd year, so if I stayed for residency/life I would be better connected?
  • I've made some okay friends in big city, but I suspect feeling on the fence about moving is holding me back from investing a lot. I'm also don't want to get too attached to anyone I'm dating there because, like I said, don't want to stay there for much longer
• Let's say that I move back to hometown, and then realize it isn't for me.
  • If I transfer 3rd year to hometown, realize don't like it, then I will only be stuck for two years and then I can move a few hours away to different city for residency.
  • Let's say I wait to come to hometown for residency and finish medical school in big city. (If I stay at the school in the big city, you can do most of your rotations in a few other nearby communities. Some of these places are pretty cool and decently sized with lots to do, that I suspect I would like more than the big city itself.) So I finish med school through big city, and move back to hometown for residency. I'm scared that if I don't like living in my hometown as much I thought I would and take this option, then I'll be stuck here for all of residency (however long that will be)

I've talked to family and friends about this, but would love to get some med school students' perspective (esp anyone who has been through 3rd and 4th year already, and would have some insight on how hard it would be to transfer to a different location for those years)!

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[Psai]

medical school isn't for liking the city. just stick it out for 2.5 more years and hopefully you'll get to go somewhere nice for residency
transferring because you don't like it where you are isn't a good reason and i doubt anyone would let you transfer for that reason

 

[zeppelinpage4]

I can sort of relate OP, the place I am in for med school, I thought I would like but I can't wait to get out.
Even though I do like my school.

At our program, I know ~1/3 of our class gets to do rotations in a different nearby city.

Does your school have any options like that? Where you can do rotations at different sites other than the city you are in now? That may be a simpler solution, where you can stay affiliated with your big city school, but not have to live there.

Otherwise, it's a tough call, sounds like you can transfer pretty easily, but this might be one of those situations where you'll only know in hindsight if it was a good idea. At the end of the day though, I personally think it's good to go where you'll be most comfortable and happy, since you're more likely to thrive and do well there. Of course, like you said you may not like being back in your hometown and regret going. But on the plus side, if you decide to go to your hometown and you don't like it, you'll at least know it's not for you, and you can then decide to go somewhere else for residency. And if you do like your hometown, then you could opt to stay there for residency. Just some food for thought, I honestly can't give any suggestions myself though.

 

[whizatphys]

nobody can convince you to stay... but, even more importantly, make sure that you don't convince yourself into leaving. who knows what kind of advice you'll get on here. stop reading these responses, and go talk about this with your family, they love you and just want you to be happy. i went through what you're describing during the 2nd year of med school, and, even more than family at the time, my advising dean was actually the most helpful person in terms of answers and direction, and additionally was very unbiased -- he expressed his concern over my state of burnout, but he also reminded me that anyone who gets into medical school is there for a reason. it isn't random, they chose us, and they are the experts on who can or can't do this. no matter what you decide, you can do this, so cheer up my friend.