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Should I worry about a faculty member on an admissions committee who I (presume) dislikes me?

jcslc44

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Nov 7, 2019
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  1. Pre-Medical
Trying to make a long story short: from January-October 2018, I was roommates with a friend from high school. By August or so, we were not getting along. In retrospect, most of these were petty and easily solved issues and I'm not very proud of how I handled myself. I ended up leaving the lease in October, because her long-distance boyfriend and his friend moved to our state and moved in. In September we fought a lot as we both knew I was about to leave. When I say it was petty, we fought over whether or not my cat was fat and I overfed her. I tried to patch things up in October--I left October 2 but still paid $200 towards our $1300 rent. She asked me for the key, I said I'd swing by and give it to her on "x" day. I ended up having to work that morning and couldn't give it to her. She messaged me and said she didn't want to "have to hunt me down for the key" but she would if she had to. I just didn't respond because it was kind of creepy.

Anyway. Her father works at my top choice medical school..I mean top choice as in I may very well apply ED there. My fiance is doing law school here. I have absolutely 0 idea if he is on the admissions committee, but he is teaching faculty for this medical school and the "Director of Continuing Medical Education." If he is an adcom member I'm terrified I'll get rejected if he says something about how his daughter and I didn't get along, that I was disrespectful/can't get along with others, etc. and get my application thrown out.

I'm debating swallowing my pride and either texting or messaging my old friend on Instagram or Facebook (she deleted me but didn't block) and apologizing for how things ended and just owning up to my poor behavior.
 
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KnightDoc

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Trying to make a long story short: from January-October 2018, I was roommates with a friend from high school. By August or so, we were not getting along. In retrospect, most of these were petty and easily solved issues and I'm not very proud of how I handled myself. I ended up leaving the lease in October, because her long-distance boyfriend and his friend moved to our state and moved in. In September we fought a lot as we both knew I was about to leave. When I say it was petty, we fought over whether or not my cat was fat and I overfed her. I tried to patch things up in October--I left October 2 but still paid $200 towards our $1300 rent. She asked me for the key, I said I'd swing by and give it to her on "x" day. I ended up having to work that morning and couldn't give it to her. She messaged me and said she didn't want to "have to hunt me down for the key" but she would if she had to. I just didn't respond because it was kind of creepy.

Anyway. Her father works at my top choice medical school..I mean top choice as in I may very well apply ED there. My fiance is doing law school here. I have absolutely 0 idea if he is on the admissions committee, but he is teaching faculty for this medical school and the "Director of Continuing Medical Education." If he is an adcom member I'm terrified I'll get rejected if he says something about how his daughter and I didn't get along, that I was disrespectful/can't get along with others, etc. and get my application thrown out.

I'm debating swallowing my pride and either texting or messaging my old friend on Instagram or Facebook (she deleted me but didn't block) and apologizing for how things ended and just owning up to my poor behavior.
Not a good situation. While it would be totally unprofessional for the father to screw you over due to some personal situation between you and his daughter, in the real world, things happen, and you'll never know. The situation sucks.

Apologizing years later might be the right thing to do, but your motives will be questioned since it took you two years to get there, and now, low and behold, you are applying. What were the odds? If it were me, I wouldn't call attention to myself after all this time by reaching out. With any luck, given the thousands of people who apply each year, maybe the father will never know you applied, depending on the level of his involvement with the adcom, until, hopefully, you have an A. An apology after all this time will be seen for what it is (an attempt to fix it because you want something), and, if father and daughter are unethical and vindictive, it won't help you. If the father acts professionally, the apology won't be necessary. If you really want to clear the air, do it after you have a result, either way, when you won't be accused of having an ulterior motive.

You should definitely apply if it's your top, top choice, but you should think twice about making your cycle so much more difficult than it would otherwise be if ED doesn't work for you, which it very well might not. Good luck!!!
 
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DrStephennmnm

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Oct 17, 2019
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Lol you're surprised your roommate needed to find you the day you promised to give her the key? And thought she was being creepy when you totally just ghosted her? In any case if her father does work in admissions I would say you're pretty DOA, especially given how "petty" you're roommate is and the high probability she may have told her father about you. If the school has a high secondary fee I would just save your money.
 
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Rachapkis

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The average person has a 40% of acceptance at any school, and approximately 5% at a particular school. Thus, I would not worry too much about any one school. Of course, there is a chance that in the real world, the father could tank your chances at admission. However, you will never know, are unlikely to be able to materially affect the outcome, and thus should apply and try not to worry about what you can’t control. Good luck.
 
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I'm trying to imagine how things would work out if my daughter was in the situation of the OP's roommate.

So let's look at the work flow of Admissions

1) I'd have to be on the Adcom. OP doesn't know if this is the case.

2) I'd have to know that said the OP is applying. I wouldn't know this unless I was interviewing the OP and saw her app, or saw the OP's name.
Do I say something, or not?

3) If I say something about the OP's character, will this be taken seriously by the Adcom?

So you can see that the odds of the Adcom finding out about this becoming lower and lower with each filter of events applied.

I'll be honest OP, if my daughter had to deal with a roommate like you, I'd stick the knife in you. This isn't about getting revenge or being unprofessional, it's about your character, and whether I'd want you as one of my students.

In the end, this school is just one of some 25-35 you'll be applying to. I honestly hope that you've done some growing in the meantime.
 
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